This Woman Seeing Her Newly Remodeled Kitchen Is A Reminder That None Of Us Know What Women Want

I want to feel bad for this guy. I swear to God I do. I want to feel bad for him because he put so much time and money into this kitchen. I want to feel bad for him because he had to renovate an entire area of the house to try to make his wife finally smile, and even that didn't work. I want to feel bad for him because he is married to the queen of the wild boars and couldn't find her pussy with all the tools in a Home Depot. However, as someone that has not been married, but spent a good amount of time dealing with the irrationality of women, I can say that he is the one who is wrong. He's not wrong for trying to do something nice for his wife. He's not wrong because I think the kitchen looks ugly (my eye for interior decision isn't much to write home about).  He's wrong because he tried to guess what a woman wants and that, my friends, is an impossible feat. 

You can't guess what someone wants when they, themselves, don't even know what they want. You know why this guy ended up doing this? Because this fucking pig probably went through every fucking color template and blueprint for a kitchen design and said "I don't know" to everything. She was completely indecisive, and her husband tried to play hero. He tried to save the day and the day slowly trickles through his 5-hole. When I was in high school I bought my girlfriend a ring that she picked out. Upon giving it to her I was told I bought the wrong one. We literally pointed at the fucking thing together and somehow it was my fault that she either changed her mind, or forgot what it was that she wanted. It was at that moment, along with my first completely underwhelming sexual experience, that I realized that I will never fully satisfy a woman. That kitchen could have gave her her first orgasm in 20 years and it still wouldn't have been good enough. She would be complaining that it gave her a headache after or something. My advice for this man? Limit the amount of decisions you make on your wife's behalf. Gifts and such are a necessary evil. However, once you start surprising women with $60,000 gestures you are sure to look like an asshole when she throws a cunty little fit in front of your friends and family. If there is any sliver of a victory in this situation it's that his friends will always believe him when he talks badly about his wife. He pretty much already won the impending divorce.

P.S. All black everything. Always slimming sweetheart, always slimming. A+ outfit choice.