This Young Eagles Fan Couldn't Be Less Concerned With The Health And Well Being Of Tom Brady

Little man talking about the need to knock Tom Brady out of the Super Bowl. This is the healthiest of fanbases. pic.twitter.com/65dZBrURxN

— Brian P. Hickey (@BrianPHickey) January 26, 2018

If you were to tell me this 10 year old (I can't decipher the ages of children for the life of me, he could be anywhere between 6 and 14, so I split the difference) was the manifestation of generation-after-generation of sloppy, unprotected porta-potty sex amongst a disproportionally degenerate fanbase then I'd probably laugh at you for thinking that needed to be said out loud. You simply don't find yourself summoning your inner-Gregg Williams on the evening news by offering up threats (finger point included) to a 5-time Super Bowl champion unless you are being raised on the tainted water of South Jersey by hygiene-free parents who buy you a new toy every time you come home with blood on your knuckles. 

That being said, don't think for a second this isn't the very same mindset being embraced by the entirety of the Philadelphia Eagles defensive line. They aren't saying so out loud because...well...the mole-estation of proud reputations that was 'BountyGate', but there's not a football fan on the planet that doesn't understand that the key to beating Tom Brady (or literally any other quarterback) is too hit him as hard and as often as possible. If that results in him spending a little extra time on the sidelines then so be it, because their fans would start nailing the Patriots quarterback with Energizers, and keep going, and going, and going if it meant bringing home a title to the city of no brotherly love lost. Let this real life 'Chucky' who would have made sure Tom Brady needed at least 30 stitches in his hand if he got the chance serve as proof positive of that.