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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

Thomas Morstead Posted Some of His Insane Workout Clips on the Internet, And All He Received in Return Was a Piss Test

5/30/2019

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Picture

Who needs weights when you have kids? Lauren and I Love sharing our passion for healthy living with our kids. #Fitness #Wellness #kids #workout #Nutrition #PullUps #Health #3KidsEquals100Pounds pic.twitter.com/DgqqOz1RnY

— Thomas Morstead (@thomasmorstead) May 28, 2019

Round Two: I am so excited to announce a partnership with @mainsqzjuiceco a locally based franchising company.  More to come.

For more information, visit https://t.co/uRXVwR3L2B#Fitness #Wellness #Juice #workout #Nutrition #PullUps #Health pic.twitter.com/i3zCzXZQba

— Thomas Morstead (@thomasmorstead) May 29, 2019

Got tested this morning hahaha https://t.co/5C9E5i5blt

— Thomas Morstead (@thomasmorstead) May 29, 2019

Honestly, fair is fair. You'd have to have banged your head on that self-important shield one too many times to still be under the illusion that the NFL only drug tests randomly and, as far as non-random drug tests are concerned, Thomas Morstead has earned more than his fair share as an All-Pro fitness freak with a diabolical amount of dad strength. Personally, I was already half surprised they didn't make him piss in a cup before leaving the field after every absurdly powerful pinpoint punt...

5.40 HangTime

See the ball
Quick Hands
Set ball on invisible table
Short first step
Hold ball as long as possible
Silent drop
Plant foot in ground
EXPLODE □□□@KohlsKicking @KohlsSnapping #KohlsElite#Punt#Kick#Football #WHODAT#SAINTS pic.twitter.com/WuAayC5nXR

— Thomas Morstead (@thomasmorstead) May 30, 2019

So, if anything, he's really been running up the score on the league's eternally suspicious urine collectors by publicizing extreme feats of athleticism, that are entirely unfitting of his position, on the internet. Even as a Saints' fan that should be used to them by now, I still have a hard time comprehending just how lethal and finely tuned Thomas Morstead's weapons are as a workout warrior. Therefore, I'm not exactly at liberty to question the NFL for being in disbelief that his 33-year-old body is only the product of a collaboration with a more socially acceptable brand of juicers. The guy is simply in pristine shape as both a punter and a person, and with the ability to casually crush high-level calisthenics like they are a basic crunch comes the requests to prove your ass hasn't been needled more than that of a stay-at-home father. 

WOW! □ Saints punter Thomas Morstead did over 400 (!) pull-ups in an hour to help raise money for the family of a former team employee battling cancer.

To donate: https://t.co/SmpTFeJXiw
□: @Saintspic.twitter.com/6WU5idZBub

— Yahoo Sports (@YahooSports) July 24, 2018
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