BSO- You were at the center of the public eye when your private life was exposed in 2009. What would you have done differently before and after?
In hindsight, it’s not how I would change 2009 and how it all came about. It would be having a more open, honest relationship with my ex-wife. Having the relationship that I have now with her is fantastic. She’s one of my best friends. We’re able to pick up the phone, and we talk to each other all the time. We both know that the most important things in our lives are our kids. I wish I would have known that back then.
What kept you from knowing that?
Either that’s the position I was in, or I took advantage of opportunities. But, when it comes down to it, right down to it, it’s just having a more open, honest relationship with my ex-wife when we were married. Our frustrations would have come out if we had talked about it and been open and honest with each other. Which we are now, and it’s absolutely fantastic.
You see, this is what happens when you are a sports prodigy. Tiger came out of the womb swinging the club 20 hours a day. He literally devoted his entire life to becoming the greatest. There was no time to do normal kid shit like learning how to interact with people. Sure, 99.9% of us knew that honesty was the best policy at the age of five, but Tiger Woods was dropping bunker shots two feet from the pin at age five. When you are that good at something at that young of an age you don't have to worry about the things that inherently average people have to worry about. Who cares if you don't have manners or a personality if you can put a golf ball literally wherever the hell you want? The only real reason that we adhere to society's expectations is because that's inevitably a "skill" required to make friends in the short term and money in the long term. Tiger Woods had a billion dollar swing before he even realized where babies came from. Who needs friends at that point? Hell, that's why Tiger's biggest mistake was getting married? Who needs a wife when you are making television appearances at age two, and you're a millionaire before you can legally drink?
That's the problem here. Tiger Woods was never equipped to be a husband. Hell, he wasn't even equipped to be a boyfriend. I'd say it's a stretch to say that he was even equipped to be a friend. He spent all his time learning how to become a great golfer, not learning how to become a great person. If only he knew that the truth can set you free he would have had a fantastic relationship with his wife. A little "BRB, going to bang the Perkins waitress behind the dumpster" text goes a long way. "Don't wait up hun. I'm not working late, but I just gotta pee on this stripper while the tank is full". Boom. Happy wife, happy life. Women don't want your full attention, they just want to be kept in the loop. If Tiger Woods had friends he would know that you are supposed to treat your wife just like one of them. You tell her every sick, twisted experience in your past. You explain, in detail, every perverted fantasy you've every had. It doesn't matter how many random woman you do deranged sexual things to on the road, it's not really cheating if your wife knows about it. They say trust is the key to successful marriage. If Elin was able to trust Tiger to give her a buzz every time he was lubing up an unclean woman's asshole then she wouldn't have had to attempt to bash his skull in with a 4-iron. The coverup is worse than the crime, and if Tiger understood that then he could have had his 600 sidepieces calling the house phone instead of constantly worrying about his voicemail history. Of course Elin didn't expect his her ridiculously wealthy husband to be monogamous, she just wanted to know who he was defecating on at any given hour of the day like all significant others do. I know that, you know that, but because Tiger was a big swinging dick before he even knew how to use his, he undoubtedly never did.