Look, there's no excuse for hiring the kid crying in the candy aisle as the commentator for an International futbol team. However, if ever there was a time when it was acceptable to put a newly pubescent boy - fresh off an argument with his irrational teenage girlfriend - behind the mic it would be during extra time to announce the game winning goal of his country's biggest victory of all time. I want to say that Iceland could have found someone better to convey the magnitude of this moment, but with the moment in question being so big I am not sure any biased party could have maintained even an iota of their composure. Iceland hasn't even qualified for the tournament in which they just won a game to advance in forever. That's not metaphorically speaking either. It's literally been...
This performance by Iceland makes the United States victory over them in 'Mighty Ducks 2' look predictable, except this actually happened in real life. Cristiano Ronaldo basically called them a bunch of small minded pussies, and they turned around and finished with a better round robin record than his powerhouse of a futbol program. Suck one Portugal, because Iceland and their ludicrously small population just made history, and if they want to scream into a microphone in an unbearably high pitch that I would imagine is the human equivalent of a dog whistle then - just this once - they have earned the right to.