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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

Two GUys Throw Snake At Tim Horton's Employee For Not Dicing Their Onions

12/8/2014

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http://www.calgaryherald.com/news/saskatoon/Customers+denied+diced+onions+throw+snake+Hortons/10450426/story.html

Calgary Herald- After a dispute over diced onions on a breakfast sandwich, two men threw a snake over a counter towards an employee of a Saskatoon Tim Hortons.

According to Saskatoon police, staff members “fled the store in fear” after the incident, which took place Monday around 7:30 a.m. at the Tim Hortons in the 600 block of 22nd Street West.

Truth be told, I can be picky when it comes to how I like my food. Generally speaking, I will eat most things, but when it comes to some condiments or toppings (mustard, mayo, tomatoes) I draw the line. That is one of the main reasons I do not frequent fast food places. I like to taylor my order exactly to my preferences. When you sit down at an actual restaurant, with actual chefs, that is much more feasible. When you are ordering a breakfast sandwich at a fast food donut shop you are entering into an agreement that whatever you get is what you are eating. You can attempt to order it how you want, but if they mess it up that's on you for being too difficult. 

Now not only demanding onions, but demanding them be prepared a certain way is a preposterous move. Talk about high maintenance. You would be lucky if they didn't pluck your onions straight off the bathroom floor. You don't go to McDonald's and expect anything other then eggs that you could clean your dishes with , and you don't expect finely chopped onions at Tim Horton's. It's called fast food for a reason. If the geniuses behind the counter had to specially prepare every order people would be waiting an hour and a half for coffee and a donut. Those people are more likely to cut off their own finger then properly dice your onions. I would imagine working at a place like Tim Horton's sucks. Don't make their job any more obnoxious than it is. Hell, if I was this worker I would thrown a fucking snake at the customer for making such a ridiculous proposal. 

This is my biggest problem with this story. It was clearly premeditated. There is only one reason you have a snake in your hand at a Tim Horton's and it's to throw it over the counter. Clearly these guys have had their onion request denied before. I think it is fair to say that is the first time someone walked into a Tim Horton's with a snake in their possession. They knew exactly what they were doing. There aren't too many situations where you can justify throwing a snake. Usually when it comes to hurling objects at people you optimize your surroundings. Throw a beer at a bar. Throw a horseshoe at a BBQ. I guess if you get in a fight camping you might be able condone launching a snake at someone. It certainly isn't okay to bag it and travel across town to carry out an orchestrated act of reptile terrorism. 

I'm calling foul on this one. Especially after the one guy reached into the other guy's pocket to grab the snake. That might actually be the weirdest part of this story. You can throw a non-venomous snake at me, but don't you dare try to reach into my pocket. Beyond strange. 

P.S. Non-Venemous=funny, Venomous=felony.
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