UBER Rides With Bob, Volume 1
Listen lady, I don't know how they do it in Sweden, but here in the states solo riders sit in the back. As if it wasn't awkward enough that the one English word that you know was 4 letters long and took you 15 seconds to say (IKEA)? Now I have to look at some sexy Swedish chick next to me that I can't even begin to attempt to have an actual conversation with? It honestly felt I was either about to get carjacked by one of those foreign chicks in an action movie that's wayyyy to hot to be a villain, or end up in a Vandersex-esque porno. Both of those situations were equally as worrisome. This is a business-client relationship. Sure, it's a loose business-client relationship. However, it's certainly not loose enough for you to take the front seat and make me feel obligated to entertain you when we, quite literally, aren't speaking the same language.
Maybe I have been living wrong all these years. Either that, or 2015 has gotten far too progressive. When the second consecutive rider sat shotgun I damn near had to pinch myself to make sure I wasn't in the midst of some super socially awkward nightmare. Now granted, I feel more comfortable giving him a pass. Mostly because he was high as a kite, and I think he got caught making a stoned split second decision. How do I know he was high do you ask? Was it the eyes so red that he looked like he got captured in a bad Polaroid? Was it the fact that he was sweating profusely in his shorts, and sleeveless puffy jacket in the California heat? Was it the distinct smell of reefer emulating from his body? Nah, mostly it was just him getting in and asking me if I knew where the closest marijuana dispensary was. Then following that up by giving me an address, and then when asked again to confirm, giving me a completely different address. I guess I should have known what I was getting into when I was parked outside of a Wendy's.
All in all, I had one person that didn't know English, one person that was three bong hits past understanding English, and a trio of women that I can only describe as the Asian PowerPuff Girls. That ride was pretty uneventful. I'd love to know what they were blabbering about in Chinese, but hey, at least they sat in the backseat.
Interaction Rating: *
Entertainment Rating: ***
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