Update: Peter Deboer Is Not Actually a Robot

DeBoer on hit on Jagr: "I thought it was a real liberty. Totally unnecessary. If 1 of our guys had done that to Crosby, it'd be World War 4"

— New Jersey Devils (@NHLDevils) December 3, 2014

Ironically I blogged yesterday that Pete Deboer might be a robot, and he followed up another depressing lose by throwing it right in my face. Literally, the only thing that he has been able to consistently do with this franchise is find a penny of hope amongst a pile of shit. No matter how poorly the team plays Petey always has a silver lining. Up until last night his coach speak has been absolutely flawless. No cliche left unsaid. Idiot proof idioms. Well, this season has clearly gotten to coach. Unless he really meant that a hit on Crosby would be so disastrous that it would completely skip a third World War, losing has him flustered. I mean, hell, even Snoop Dogg and the Ruff Ryders knew that World War 3 it still available when it comes to metaphors. I refuse to believe Deboer is that bad with his history. Especially since half his roster was drafted, and I don't mean to war, during WWII. This is rock bottom. When Pete Deboer can't even attempt to polish a turd without getting a muddy finger all hope has been lost.

Hey Pete, can we focus less on the transgressions of the opposing team and more about the gutless reaction of your own. I'm not a big fight/brawl guy, but once the Penguins went up 1-0 and I realized the only 75% of the Devils forwards left were not going to muster a goal I was praying for a skate blade to Malkin's neck. I think I dozed off sometime in the third and had a dream about Happy Gilmour donning the Devils logo for an encore performance. Where is the nuts of this team? Pete is right. A semi-dirty hit to Crosby's head would have caused World War 3-5, and rightfully so. Why couldn't a similar hit to a hockey legend garner, at the very least, a Battle of Bunker Hill? If I have to watch Tootoo play every 3 minutes due to injury I would at least like to see a Penguins player bleed out before my very eyes.

As if Pete's historical gaff wasn't discouraging enough, I had to watch Scott Gomez quickly become the Devils best player last night. Generally speaking, A player coming in mid-season and making the team better should be a positive thing. Unfortunately, I think Gomez' performance says far more about his counterparts than it does about him. Keep in mind he couldn't keep a job with the Florida fucking Panthers last year and it brings the Devils lack of skill into perspective. Fortunately for Deboer, and the hopes of a high draft pick, losing 50% of his forwards in 2 games buys him some more time on the job. Although, when you look at Larsson's playing time (13 minutes), it might be a job he is actively trying to lose.