Von Miller Thinks Whichever Team Dances The Most Will Win The Super Bowl

Von Miller: "Whoever is dancing the most on Sunday is probably going to win the game." #SB50

— Art Stapleton (@art_stapleton) February 2, 2016

Obviously this comment was said in jest. It's clearly an attempt to make light of how much has been made of fucking dancing this season. Go figure. These guys literally try to kill each other on a weekly basis, and the main issue that some people have is that they celebrate after they do. A bunch of the stick-in-the-mud losers just fawning over the good old days when there was more head injuries and less dance moves. The golden era of "class", if you will. 

With that said, he's not wrong. I would say it's almost a certainty that the team that dances the most will win the Super Bowl. I think he was being a little apprehensive by just saying "probably". In fact, if the Panthers out-dance the Broncos and lose then I will reexamine the claim that Cam Newton is too extravagant. Can't spend more time celebrating then your opposition in a game you lost. I think that's a fair assessment. Can't wait to see how slowly Von Miller tries to drag his nuts over Cam Newton's fallen body. Probably be the longest teabag of all time. Everyone knows you have to get that T.O.D. up by any means necessary. It's a foolproof stat. Probably holds true about 90% of the time. People think Cam Newton is being arrogant or egotistical? Nope. He's just ensuring victory. Think it's a coincidence that he's spent the most time dancing out of everyone in the entire league and his team only has one loss? I know I don't. Can't wait to watch this dance battle that's thinly veiled as a super important football game on Sunday. Might set a record for the amount of rugs cut and the amount respect lacked. With some careful editing they could probably get in enough footage to make 'Step Up 6'. Someone get Channing Tatum a sideline pass, let's see if he can compete...