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UNSPORTSMANLIKE CONDUCT
Two Minutes, Well Worth It

We Have Got A Crying Band Girl, And It's Now OFFICIALLY March Madness!

3/19/2016

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2015
2016

I'm not going to lie to you, I knew something was missing. The first round certainly had plenty of action, but it still felt a bit off. The upsets were as intriguing as always, the buzzer beaters as breathtaking as ever, but there was still something lacking. I may not have been able to say the same in 2014, but this is 2016, and March hasn't descended into full blown Madness until we have a girl in the band brought to tears by the failures of her college's basketball team. 2015 set a precedent, and that precedent is that the most exciting tournament in sports isn't complete without a girl with an instrument in her hand having an emotional outburst broadcast to millions upon millions of people. It's the 21st century, and with that comes an audience that is increasingly greedy and harder to please. You give us a crying band girl one year, you damn well better give us a crying band girl every year. Soon we will be desensitized to watching a girl bawling into her mouthpiece, but until that moment comes we absolute need to see her on an annual basis to feel truly fulfilled. The dramatic, unpredictable basketball is without a doubt the entree, but it's the student sobbing all over her saxophone that really puts the cherry on top of a satisfying sports sundae. Thank you crying band girl. Thank you for being a Kentucky fan, but above all thanks for giving us the gratifying laugh we had already forgotten we needed.

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