LBS- As harsh as it may sound, Buechele was a mistake. His father, Steve, had a vasectomy — one that obviously did not work — before Shane was conceived. But here we are, and the true freshman had a hilarious remark about his unique family situation in the wake of Texas’s upset win over No. 10 Notre Dame on Sunday.
Of course, Buechele’s parents have no regrets. Steve Buechele, a former MLB player who is currently on the Texas Rangers’ staff, and his wife Nancy told Shane about the failed vasectomy two years ago. They even introduced Shane to the doctor who performed the procedure. What did the Longhorns quarterback say to the man? “Thank you very much,” Buechele recently joked to Brad Townsend of SportsDay.
Some say the truth sets you free. I say that all the truth does is rid you of the guilty conscience that you have obtained by actively suppressing it for 16 years. I am glad that Shane Buechele has a sense of humor about things and - when he's not being so humble - likely views himself as a superhuman seed that couldn't even be stopped by the marvels of modern science. That, however, doesn't mean his parents aren't selfish for telling him he was such an accident that they literally paid the substantial price of a surgical procedure to avoid it. Why the fuck should Shane have to learn about the perceived functionality of his Dad's dick at the time of his conception? No one wants to be reminded that they are product of their parents bumping uglies and they CERTAINLY don't want to be told they were a product of their parents bumping uglies strictly for recreational purposes!
As far as I am concerned I was brought into existence by no more than two minutes of well planned missionary sex that was engaged in out of necessity to reproduce. My brother and sister? Clearly adopted. My parents are 1-for-1 and don't you dare try to tell me differently. I value that blissful ignorance more than I value my own first sexual partner, and Shane Buechele is no longer lucky enough to possess it. Why, you ask? Because his parents wanted a little peace of mind so badly that they traded in their son's innocence for it by telling him he's a consequence of malpractice. As if attempting to snip the pipeline from which he inevitable came wasn't self centered enough, now he has to endure a face-to-face with the man whose occupational negligence brought him into this world? It's a good thing he was blessed with good genes and athletic ability or I would be calling DYFS for him.