"Why Go Out For Burgers When I Got A Steak Cooking At Home?" Is A Terrible CHeating Defense

Metro- A man pictured kissing a girl he met on a night says he’s ‘ruined the best thing that has ever happened’ to him.

Pippa McKinney, 22, posted an appeal on Facebook the morning after the night before in a bid to get in touch with Matty Steven as she’d taken his number down wrong.

But it backfired when his girlfriend responded..

Speaking to the Manchester Evening News, he said: ‘I hold my hands up. I’ve made a massive mistake. I’ve ruined the best thing that has ever happened to me. Not only have I disrespected Emily, but I’ve disrespected her and my entire family.

‘I’ll never live this down. It was one single drunken kiss that obviously meant more to her than it ever did to me. It was a mistake and I’m sure people have done a lot worse. This has ruined me. Emily won’t speak to me.

He added: ‘Why would I go out for a hamburger when I’ve got a sirloin steak cooking at home?

‘I gave her a fake number for a reason. I didn’t want to let her down hard, I’m not that type. I wish I did now. The kiss was stupid and I instantly regretted it. After the kiss I went over to my mate and told him, “we are leaving”. I forgot about it and then in the morning I saw the picture and it all came back to me like a bad dream, which I want to forget.’



Don't get it twisted, I actually believe this guy. I actually do think it was a one time, meaningless kiss. Why you ask? Oh I don't know, because it's 2015 and people don't "take down numbers wrong" anymore. Jesus Christ with this broad. Get a clue. She looks like a relatively cute girl, but that desperation does not look good on her at all. If you take down the wrong number then someone gave you the wrong number, 100% of the time. Even if you are convinced that your hand-ear coordination was off that night, posting a picture of you two kissing in hopes of it somehow getting back to him is never the right answer. This kid could have been as single as Lance Armstrong's testicle, and that still would have been SURE to send him running for the hills. 

Anyway, let's get back to the important thing here, and that's this guy trying to cheapen the significance of a burger. Hey dude, time to work on your analogies, because I got plenty of reasons why you would go out for a burger when you've got sirloin steaks at home...

1) If I am going to go all out and buy a steak, I am going to get a filet. Top cut, top quality. Get this sirloin bullshit with all it's flaws and fat out of my face.  

2) If you eat steak every night you are sure to get tired of it. Once that novelty wears off then a burger might as well be a steak. When you eat the same damn steak every day the burger joint around the corner that you haven't tried yet becomes invaluable. 

3) Steaks are high maintenance. You have to make sure you prepare and treat them right. You have to actually give them the time of day. You can't just take a steak out of the freezer and throw it on the grill. You have to defrost it and make sure it's ready for cooking. If the choice is between an undercooked or overcooked steak and a burger then I am taking the burger 9 times out of 10.

4) There's something to be said for eating out and leaving the mess behind when you're done. You eat steak at home every night you have to do dishes and clean. That's time consuming. Sometimes when you're hungry you just want to eat, no strings attached.

This guy may not be a cheating scumbag, but he's also not a defense attorney. If this burger/steak comparison is all he's got than fucking a bunch of random women behind his girlfriend's back sounds pretty damn enticing.