WWJD: How About That Time Reggie Miller Tried To Trash Talk Michael Jordan And Got A Lesson In Black History Instead?

Sports Illustrated- Pacers great Reggie Miller stopped by Jimmy Kimmel Live! on Thursday night and talked about his reputation as a trash talker, and how he learned early on to keep quiet around Michael Jordan.

Miller tells the story of a preseason game between the Bulls and Pacers in 1987 in which he felt Jordan was not living up to his considerable hype, so Miller let the Bulls star know that he was not impressed, and he was coming for him.

Jordan decided to show Miller exactly what he could do by exploding for 40 points in the second half, then telling the Pacers rookie, "You never talk to Black Jesus like that."

C'mon Reg. Do better. Be better. Do you expect any of us to believe that you said "who do you think you are"? "There's a new kid on town"? Really hit the books hard at UCLA, huh dude? That's literally the shittiest shit talk I have ever heard. It's actually cringeworthy. It's late night television for Christ sake, drop some gems. No one is tuning in to hear about the one time you were semi-impolite to Michael Jordan,  especially if you are going to out Jordan for referring to himself as a spiritual figurehead. 

Given a little reflection, MJ might not be too far off in his 'Black Jesus' reference. In terms of brand loyalty, Jesus and Jordan are pretty close. There are people out there that would head straight to their pew to rattle off some psalms if they heard their child was raped by the Pope. Just like there are people that could watch Michael Jordan cook meth in a room full of babies and their natural reaction would be to bring up the 1988 dunk contest. Nevermind that our savior that is supposedly responsible for all that is good, is equally as responsible for all that is evil in the world. Nevermind that under his watch priests are fondling alter boys and his followers are chastising homosexuals for their sexual preference. Nevermind that while Jordan is probably the best basketball player of all time, he is also one of the biggest scumbags to walk the Earth. AIDS and cancer exist on Jesus' watch, while Jordan is out getting belligerently drunk, degenerative gambling, and cheating on his wife. None of that stops people from buying wildly overpriced shoes or praying at their bedside every night.

What is the most iconic symbol in the world? The sign of the cross. What is nearly as recognizable? The Jumpman logo. Shit, the Jordan logo is more recognizable globally than the Star of David, and I don't even think it's debatable. I guess that's why Jews hate basketball. Jordan has transcended his actually presence. The silhouette of him dunking a basketball isn't just a brand anymore, it's a way of life for some people. There are people 
that would just as soon walk around barefoot than leave the house without the Jordan emblem stitched into their footwear. Just like there are people that would rather drowned themselves in holy water before they disobeyed the teaching of a book that was written a million years ago. 

Religion is the cause of many a conflict across the world. People risk their lives to defend their beliefs. People lose their lives for the religious entity that they identify with. Know what else causes a high amount of needless violence? The 3 mile lines when a new pair of Jordan's is being released.  I would rather take the next flight to Palestine and start throwing stones than try to get my hands on a brand new pair of size 11's. The only people that survive the mass hysteria of those gatherings are the people that you see wearing the shoes. When you stand in line for the freshest pair of kicks you make the distinct decision to either pay out the ass for new sneakers or die trying. 

Generally speaking, what are white people great at? False outrage and being irrationally loyal to what they believe in. It's just what we do. It's why a large majority of us believe that some guy in the sky that no one has seen somehow created the entire world around us. General speaking, what are black people great at? Basketball and being stylish. It makes sense their Jesus would be the greatest basketball player of all time that coincidentally has the most popular sneaker ever created. 

Not for nothing, but at least the people that base their livelihood off a pair a sneakers know for a fact that the person they represent actually exists. You think it's simply a coincidence that two most prominent items in the hip hop community are Jesus pieces and Jordans? 

Still think it's a coincidence?

P.S. How about the stones on MJ to call himself 'Black Jesus' before he had even won a championship?

P.P.S. Never forget 'The Knick Killer'.