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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

Yadier Molina Is Getting Pretty Tired Of Answering Questions About His Magical, Gravity Defying Chest Protector 

4/7/2017

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Picture

VIDEO: @Cardinals C #YadierMolina has a pitch STUCK to his chest protector. Why didn't the ump check the ball? @Cubs #CubsTalk pic.twitter.com/5QlikWWqma

— Billy Krumb (@ClubhouseCancer) April 6, 2017

are you kidding me pic.twitter.com/Xsvl1NtngH

— smusial (@SimulacruMusial) April 6, 2017

Molina repeated "I don't know" when asked about the mystery ball. Said "That's a dumb question" when asked if he put something on protector.

— Ben Frederickson (@Ben_Fred) April 6, 2017

Unbelievable. Simply unbelievable. This is such classic sports media. They can't even take one single afternoon off from asking dumb questions to appreciate that they were blessed with the opportunity to witness a modern miracle that transcends science. That ball had yet to be plucked from the chest protector that it was wondrously suspended to, and a bunch of joyless reporters were already try to make allegations of cheating. How dare they imply that a player who has been around as long as Yadier Molina engage in an act of gamesmanship that was prevalent when he first entered into the league and is still used to this day.

As long as we are on the subject of ridiculous interrogations, I have a few brain busters for these beat writers. Have you no shame? How many times were you going to ask about pine tar when your subject clearly proved that a super adhesive had nothing to with the supernatural scenario by getting super defensive about it? Do you remember where you were when you officially outgrew  your imagination? Do you let your children marvel at magic shows or do you ruin the entire experience with your inability to suspend disbelief? Are the implausibilities in action movies something that keep you up at night? Christ, how about believing in magic for once in your miserable lives? Divine intervention isn't a journalistic term and it doesn't mean intervening in the divine, so lay off Yadier and let's stop questioning the undeniable mystic of his awe-inspiring equipment.
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