You Don't Want To Hear Russell Wilson When He's Angry...Unless You're Oddly Fond Of Self-Censorship11/8/2018
Welp, if nothing else, Russell Wilson is who we thought he was. Shoot? Gosh-darnit? Mix in a "frick" or a "fudge" and you have the holy (don't forget, this is a God-fearing man we're talking about) trinity of outrageously over-the-top attempts to avoid you using bad words that the Seahawks' straight-laced quarterback would undoubtedly refer to as cusses. Seriously, take away the video and that audio sounds like the reading of a script for a Russell Wilson parody skit. Now, I don't want to be the hard ass that encourages a person who feels uncomfortable doing so to curse, but...like...goddamn it...would it really have killed him to take the Lord's name in vain just one time in commandeering an uncommonly combustible collection of players? Pretty sure the Father forgives all sins, so a couple of the linguistic variety that made the most devoted member of the congregation's unorthodox work environment just a little less awkward would be worth nothing more than a couple words of absolution in the confessional booth. To be fair, I have no idea what was going on behind closed doors when Seattle appeared prime for a dynasty. However, if the jaw-jackin 'Legion of Boom' was being led into battle with a "LET'S GIVE 'EM HECK!!!" while Marshawn Lynch was prepping to "run through a ma'fucka face" then I can kind of see how what was a perfect marriage on the outside eventually crumbled on the inside. Richard Sherman was out their kicking asses and taking names while Russell Wilson was out there patting asses and learning baby names. The most eccentric of locker rooms in a sport that's predicated on violence led by a man who actively censors himself on the sidelines. There's nothing wrong with that, I suppose, but what a gosh-darned dynamic that must have been.
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