Zac Rinaldo Doesn't Plan On Getting Suspended Or Taking Stupid Penalties From Here On Out

ProHockeyTalk- “[My game] is going to change in a better way for the team,” Rinaldo said, per the Bruins’ website. “I don’t plan on getting suspended; that’s the last thing I want to do. I don’t plan on taking stupid penalties; that’s the last thing I want to do, is hurt my team.

“Changing for the better will happen.”

Now with the B’s, he still intends to play a physical game, his acquisition not-so-coincidentally coming after GM Don Sweeney vowed to return “the aggressiveness that was lost in our group.”

“I’m going to be the rough, tough Zac Rinaldo,” he said, “but I’m also going to add in more hockey sense.”


Good news Bruins fans! Zac Rinaldo doesn't plan on doing literally the only thing he is good at doing anymore! Starting to make trading a 3rd round draft pick for a player that has 16 career points, 572 career penalty minutes, and 3 career suspensions in 223 NHL games look a little less stupid. Emphasis on the word 'little'. Can't say you don't love his intent here. When you trade for an obsolete goon with no offensive potential the best you can hope for is that he isn't a detriment to the team. They should just bring Rinaldo in before every game and tell him to stay away from the puck and all other players by any means necessary. Don't even give him a stick. Just send him out there and tell him to make believe he is open skating at the local pond. Don't get in anybody's way for 30 seconds at a time and then come right back to the bench. If Zac Rinaldo isn't going to get suspended or take dumb penalties then the only other thing he is capable of doing on a hockey rink is looking like a hockey player, you know, until the game actually starts.  

Don't worry Boston faithful. Zac is going to mix in a little hockey sense. Just sprinkle it right into the recipe. Might want to tell him to pick up some scoring ability or defensive positioning while he's out shopping for things that no amount of money can buy. If only I went to the same Pro Shop that Rinaldo does. Hell, I could wake up tomorrow as the next Mario Lemieux. It might sound silly when Zac Rinaldo talks about 'hockey sense' like it's something that you just develop overnight. However, if there is a team in professional sports that can make you smarter just by trading you it is the Philadelphia Flyers. I'm very hesitant to blame the Flyers organization for turning Rinaldo into a useless piece of shit, but you got to imagine that's what the Bruins were hoping when they traded an actual, meaningful asset to acquire him. Just praying that Rinaldo's lack of skill, and proclivity to being a scumbag, was a product of the 'Broad Street Bullies' mentality that has long been the downfall of the Flyers. How about we just redo this interview when Rinaldo is 3 strides into an eventual boarding penalty? I would imagine if you could just decide before the game not to take dumb penalties or get suspended then dumb penalties and suspensions wouldn't even exist. All the sudden a 4 hour trip North and a little lip service is going to transform a worthless waste of a money shot into a discipline hockey player that holds himself accountable? Count me as a skeptic...