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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

Zero Tears Shed For This Schoolboy That Was Killed By A Club Promoter After Saying "One Day You'll Work For Me"

4/20/2016

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Metro-  A public schoolboy was knocked out and killed by a club promoter after the teenager shouted ‘one day you’ll work for me’ at him. 

An inquest heard that Archie Lloyd was in Malia celebrating his A levels when he was punched by Sebastian Trabucatti last August.

Winchester Coroner’s Court heard there had been a heated exchange between Archie, his friends and Trabucatti who was among a group of people on mopeds.

Archie’s best friend Andy Hutchinson said: ‘Archie and I had our arms out to the side and told them to “f**k off”. They responded by being abusive.

‘We moved out of the road. The riders then stopped their bikes in front of us. [Mr Trabucatti] got off his bike and moved towards us.’

The moped riders then started pushing Andy, at which point Archie said ‘One day you’ll work for me’. Andy said he believed he said that because he felt bad for failing to intervene.

That’s when Mr Trabucatti – who declined to attend the inquest – is believed to have punched Archie, knocking him to the floor, and the mopeds drove off.




I don't want to say that this kid deserved to die. Partly because it's frowned upon, but mostly because its far too easy of an angle to take. That's why I'll just use a bunch of different words that mean the same exact thing. Ready? A loss of life as a result of douche on douche crime is addition by subtraction. Nailed it! Mix in a little math and victim blaming a dead teenager actually sounds beneficial to society. 

You know what Archie learned here? Well, nothing...because he's dead...duh. However, Archie's friend learned not to try to match egos with the most egotistical. In a battle of arrogant, judgmental dickheads there has to be a loser. The Club Promoter Vs. The Pompous Prep Schooler in a Douchebag Death Match? The only crime that took place here is that there weren't tickets sold. The public was robbed of the opportunity to witness a casualty of self importance. Sucks that this kid had to die before getting taken down a notch. I would have much preferred him to get knocked out and and have to face his friends with the blackest of eyes, but with a name like Archie he was destined to get one punched into the afterlife for being a pretentious prick. That's just the risk you take when you name your kid Archie. He might walk around looking like he's headed to cushy Wall Street job at the tender age of 18, and there's only two ways that story ends. He either ends up pissing all over the 99% from a penthouse apartment, or he ends murdered at the hands of a molly poppin' moped driver. Sorry his parents came out on the wrong side of that coin flip, but this is just an example of societal self regulation.
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