A Porn Company Only Offered Draymond Green 100K To Star In A Film, Thus Proving My Point For Me...

TMZ-  The guy behind the Kim Kardashian sex tape says he wants a piece of Draymond Green -- saying he was so impressed with Dray's monster penis, he's offered the guy a 6-figure porn deal!

Vivid Entertainment honcho Steve Hirsch fired off a letter to DG saying he saw the dong selfie Green accidentally posted on Snapchat over the weekend ... and believes it's the perfect centerpiece for a new celeb sex tape.

"Here's the deal: We will give you $100k to star in a porn called 'Drayzilla,'" Hirsch wrote.

"You call all the shots. You pick your co-stars and set up the scene however you want."

Hirsch says he adamantly believes the tape can "really make history."

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Let me put my green billed accountant visor on really quick. Okay so, 82 million dollar contract to play basketball. An offer of 100K to take your talents to the bedroom. Move the decimal point a few spaces. Add a zero. Alright, so after a little bit of elementary math (yes, I used a calculator like any good bookkeeper) I have determined that Draymond Green's ability to play basketball is 820x more valuable than his dick. Sorry, but the numbers don't lie. I tried to tell everyone that his ashy, two-tone dong - that still didn't appear all that big after being enhanced via every proportional trick in the book - wasn't all that impressive. I guess now we know why he's referred to as an "undersized center".

​Sure, six figures to have sex on camera once or twice seems like a pretty sweet deal, but it's not nearly as sizable as you would expect an indecent proposal to one of the most polarizing athletes on the planet to be. 100 grand to douse what's left of his image in lighter fluid and run naked into the dumpster fire of the adult film industry? That might be a compliment to me or you, but it has to be viewed as an insult to a person with any semblance of star power.  

Think about it this way, Ray J is STILL making 90K every three months off a sex tape that he shot himself over a DECADE ago. I understand his partner is largely responsible for that, but he's still cashing royalty checks on behalf of the work of his elephant trunk. Meanwhile, the manhood of Draymond Green - a top 10-15 player in the NBA - is getting lowballed with a lump sum for a professionally shot production?! Not a good look. Not a good look at all. I'm not one to criticize someone for the misuse of social media, but you damn well better double check your dick pics if they are going to make you pale in comparison to an irrelevant R&B singer that's better known as the brother of a 90's sitcom star. Good thing he's familiar with nut checks because he just got one of his own. Hey Draymond, your junk? NOOOPE.