It pains me to do this. It really does. The last thing I want to do is say that someone that is competing on behalf of our country deserves it when they have a gun jabbed into the swell of their back. Unfortunately, I have been told many a time that athletes are people too and if they are subject to the same scrutiny as the rest of us then I really put myself between a rock and a hard place with my take on the tourists that have been getting pickpocketed in Rio. To imply that he "deserved it" is definitely a little strong, but Ryan Lochte certainly enabled his jacker with a follicular appearance that can only be described as downright unlawful. I mean, titanium hair that had been given a greenish tint by the unknown chemical makeup of a contaminated pool? Might be wise to cover that up with a hat when walking around a 3rd world country in which any attention drawn is undoubtedly going to be of the negative variety. At the very least you should be held responsible for keeping your head on a swivel when your head is the obvious target of every wandering eye in a crime ridden city. Hindsight is 20/20, but if I were Ryan Lochte I might have went with something a little more culturally appropriating if I was desperate for a new Olympic look. It might be unfair to say his aesthetics merited a robbery under the threat of potentially fatal violence, but considering I was able to drunkenly stumble around Acapulco for 5 days without someone sticking me for my paper it's debatable whether or not his lack of awareness did. I'm glad he's okay, but I'm also glad that he's a little bit wiser. Lesson learned: Don't look like an asshole when you're in a country in which doing so is punishable by more than judgmental stares and pointed gossip.
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