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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

Aqib Talib Thinks Donald Trump Might Be A Good Addition To The Broncos Locker Room

10/11/2016

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Talib on locker room talk: a lot of things are said in the locker room. Trump might fit in in our locker room.

— Aaron Matas (@AaronMatas) October 11, 2016

Ladies and gentleman, I think we have a winner! I guess it's not all that much of a surprise since Aqib Talib was already the heavy favorite for 'Biggest Moron In Professional Sports' after he fucking shot himself in the leg. However, that had been done before. Going out of your way to associate the entirety of an NFL locker room with the type of misogynistic banter that had a Presidential candidate trying to divert the nation's attention by repeating "ISIS" like one of their promotional DVD's was skipping, on the other hand? Well, that is an unforeseen, award winning level of stupidity. Literally every athlete with a Twitter account was distancing themselves from Donald Trump's proclamation that his rapey, sexist babble was a product of a sports-esque environment, and Aqib Talib is basically offering to go pussy grabbing with him. Brilliant, just brilliant.

Surely this won't spark overreactive assumptions about the verbiage being used across the entire sports landscape. Nooooo, not in 2016. We are wayyyy too progressive to take the words and opinions of a single unintelligible buffoon and attribute them to the entire group that he is apart of. Can't wait until the feminists get a hold of this quote. They will definitely process it logically and  consider the recent history of the source. A football player not-so-indirectly inferring that sexual assault is often a hilarious topic of conversation around his locker definitely won't turn into a bunch of long, drawn out think pieces and TV segments about rape culture. Gee Aqib Talib, thanks for making sure that the implication that all athletes are sexual predators began and ended with a racist asshole that's never stepped foot in a locker room - that wasn't inside a country club - in his entire life!

P.S. Seriously, just give this jackass a loaded gun, makes sure the safety is off, and lock him in a room alone with it until you hear a bang. They may not say it, but even his teammates and coaches would have to appreciate it at this point.
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