CBS- Patrick Mahomes II, the No. 1 draft pick for the Kansas City Chiefs, and three others were reportedly robbed at gunpoint in Smith County on May 12. According to a press release from the Smith County Sheriff's Office, deputies were sent to a residence on Mansion Creek Circle around 9:15 p.m. in reference to an aggravated robbery. The victims reported they were approached by two suspects while exiting a vehicle at the residence. One of the suspects "was seen gesturing as if he had a handgun in his waistband." The suspects demanded property from the four victims before fleeing in a vehicle. No one was injured during the robbery. After getting vehicle and suspect descriptions, deputies were able to quickly find the vehicle, conduct a traffic stop near County Road 273, and arrest the two suspects inside, identified as 34-year-old Michael Blake Pinkerton and 58-year-old Billy Ray Johnson. Both were transported to the Smith County Jail. ------------ Obviously Pat Mahomes' physical and emotional well being is paramount right now, so the question I am about to ask probably isn't the most important one that arises when you hear that a soon-to-be NFL quarterback was robbed at gunpoint, but - in my opinion - it is the most intriguing. So, without further ado, do we think that this theft was premeditated and aimed at a specific target? Like, did these dudes hunt down the Chiefs' successor under center because they figured he would be a profitable take, or were they just moseying around developments looking to stick up anyone that picked a bad time and place to put it in park? From the looks of these guys they don't appear to have the capability to put an outfit together... ....never mind a calculated, criminal plan of attack, so it's likely the latter. However, if it's the former then they are even dumber than your average culprit of armed robbery. It's safe to say that it's never a good idea to try hold up a professional athlete under the threat of potentially fatal violence, but - from a return on vandalism standpoint - it's a decidedly worse idea when the professional athlete in question hasn't even signed his rookie contract yet. I want to give these larcenists the benefit of the doubt in assuming they didn't knowingly try to extort an NFL player before he even had the opportunity to drop some NFL money on some egregiously indulgent jewelry. Unfortunately, I can't do so without considering the possibility that middle aged men in Texas are roaming through neighborhoods pointing guns at random, innocent people in their own damn driveways, and that's not a reality I want to live in.
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Say what you want about Eddie Lacy and his propensity to pack on pounds faster than Kirstie Alley, but don't tell me he hasn't done a hell of a job managing expectations. He might be a professional athlete that can't be trusted to walk past a donut shop without supervision, but he's a professional athlete that's literally and figuratively rolling in dough for being insanely mediocre in his preparation for his lucrative profession. Consider this, a running back just got a bonus for weighing in at approximately 30 pounds heavier than the league average at his position. Seattle had so little faith in Eddie Lacy's ability to go 24 hours without a cheat day that they attached a five figure price tag to a number that's not even remotely impressive. The Seahawks are like the parents that think their child is so dumb that they offer him a raise in his allowance if he can maintain a 'C' average. I would think that an NFL skill position player would consider a proverbial pat on the ass for not ballooning up beyond repair in the offseason to be disingenuous, but - with that undeserved $55,000 check in his pocket - surely he's laughing straight to the bank before waddling straight to the nearest 'Baskin Robbins'. Eddie Lacy hasn't just successfully gotten NFL teams to except him at his bloated body fat percentage. He has gotten them to financially incentivize him to not get so big that he needs to be put on the offensive line because he can no longer fit through it.
So let me get this straight, Ryan Johansen doesn't understand how people could cheer for a guy whose oft-controversial play reduced his opposition's first line center to a whiny, holier than thou diatribe following a Western Conference Finals game? He doesn't get why people would appreciate someone that makes himself the primary concern of the best players on the other team without so much as having an impact on the scoresheet? He can't see why some might see the benefit in having a mental edge that forces opponents to worry about him on the ice and answer questions about him off the ice? I don't want to make it sound like I am some Ryan Kesler super fan, because he is undeniably a dickhead. Still, his ability to get a professional athlete to stand in a front of a microphone and all-but-say that Ryan Kesler's family would disown him if they had any self respect is the main reason that Ryan Kesler has apologists. All those cup checks and wayward elbows that are tough to support get excused once the victim of them indirectly admits that they are having the desired effect, and that's what Ryan Johansen did by implying that he sits around pondering the moral compass of the company that the culprit keeps. A chance at a Stanley Cup is on the line, and - if that sanctimonious answer was any indication - then Ryan Johansen is being distracted by a player who loves nothing more than hearing that his efforts to agitate were successful. People don't root for Ryan Kesler because they love the way he plays the game. They root for Ryan Kesler because the way he plays the game can be effective when guys like Ryan Johansen let it be effective. Unfortunately for the Predators' leading scorer, bitching about someone's dirty play - no matter how legitimate the gripe - only shows vulnerability and encourages that player to keep making himself cozy in your head and under your skin. I'm not praising the tactics of someone who is no stranger to cheap shots, but it's tough to argue that they aren't paying richly in dividends.
It's not fair. It's just not fair. The Golden State Warriors have four of the best players in the league operating at full strength, and the bargain basement big that they used to fill the roster is the one making series altering plays? The NBA Playoffs - if only for one half - appeared to possess some actual intrigue, and the dude who is only on the team to provide size and comic relief with his inability to adequately use that size to score in traffic had to...ahem...step in and ruin everything. ZaZa Pachulia was such a punchline that he almost got voted to the All Star Game as a charity case, but the joke's on us because he just parted what was already a pretty clear path for the Warriors to get to the NBA Finals. He really...uh...stuck it out on behalf of his team, and now their only conference opponent that was worth a damn is severely handicapped. The role player whose most important role is the rolling of ankles just changed the entire landscape of the Western Conference Finals. The least celebrated member of a goddamn juggernaut just hopped his way into the history books by "contesting" an MVP candidate's shot with the added fervor of your drunk uncle doing the electric slide. I have my reasons for thinking that that reckless, excessive footwork was an example of dirty dancing. Many of those reasons can be viewed on YouTube after searching the name of the repeat offender. However - intentional or not - ZaZa Pachulia just made his mark on a potential championship run, and I can't say anyone expected that to happen when he was originally signed to be nothing more than a warm body in a cold blooded offense. UPDATE: I get the feeling that Gregg Popovich agrees with my opinion of the legality of that close-out. Just a hunch...
This may come as a huuuuuge surprise, but I'm fairly naive to gun ownership throughout professional sports. I don't know how many players are packing - legally or otherwise - and I have a feeling that even considering myself open-minded wouldn't save me from shock if I ever found out. What I do know is that the NFL - as an entity - probably isn't too fond of it's athletes publicly encouraging their peers to carry firearms. Surely my life experiences have been much different than those of Haha Clinton-Dix so I won't criticize him for using the method of self preservation that he sees fit. After all, "keepin' da heat on ya" may very well be sound advice for someone whipping a Maserati around a bad part of town. I just think it's advice whose volume probably should have been turned down just a little bit. I can't be certain, but the multi-billion dollar brand that employs an apparent gun enthusiast might not be so understanding of his openness about his loaded insurance policy. Considering his stance on something as globally accepted as marijuana usage, the Commish who has proven that his authority knows not a single bound might have some slightly ignorant thoughts on the matter of deadly weaponry. Now, Kevin White could potentially benefit from the suggestion of a division rival, but he could have benefited just as well if that suggestion were sent to him via DM instead of broadcasted - for hundreds of thousands to see - in response to an NFL affiliate's social media post. I don't know that Roger Goodell can do all that much about Haha Clinton-Dix outing himself as someone whose protection plan is easily triggered, but - with his recent history - I would probably keep the safety on so as to not haphazardly fire off tweets promoting gun violence. P.S. On a more important note, I'm glad that Kevin White and his girlfriend are safe and sound after getting out of a senseless, dangerous situation. Browns' Draft Pick David Njoku Showed Up To The Rookie Dinner And Thought Joe Thomas Was A Coach5/12/2017
Well, looks like someone's excited to a member of the Cleveland Browns! David Njoku is chomping so hard at the bit to get out on the field with his brand new teammates thaaaaaat he can't even recognize the most accomplished member of the team he's joining. I don't want to bash the guy too hard because the casual football fan could easily mistake Joe Thomas for a coach when he doesn't have pads on. I guess I just assumed that a 20 year tight end that just got selected in the first round of the NFL draft would study the roster more than the dude who just uses football as an excuse to eat and drink in excess on Sunday afternoons. I could be wrong, but putting in the effort to identify a couple guys you are joining at a work dinner seems like a good idea. Especially when one of those guys happens to be one of the best in the league at his position, and could potentially be lining up next to you in a few short months. I wouldn't expect David Njoku to be able to put every name to every face, but maybe - just maybe - it would be wise to commit the Paul Bunyan-esque appearance of the only Pro Bowler on the roster to memory. David Njoku basically just showed up to his new job for the first time and asked the Vice President of the company if he could show him how to configure the office email. Maybe thinking that all monstrous white men look alike isn't the most inexcusable of mistakes, but it's definitely not one that's made by professionals.
A laceration? So you mean, like, a cut? Tyson Barrie bailed on Team Canada because of a little "boys being boys" bloodshed? Normally I would have no problem with a player not toughing it out during a relatively meaningless tournament whose participants must first fail in their quest for a Stanley Cup, but Tyson Barrie? The guys who finished dead last in the league in plus/minus while playing for an NHL team that should have been recalled by the AHL? He should be channeling his inner "Patrice Bergeron" in order to lace up the gash in his leg and his skates for games that he's actually favored in for once. I won't hate on him for getting banged up rough housing with the squad in between games. That's basically an occupational hazard of clowning around hockey players. However, you better be prepared to play through a coffee table-caused injury. Especially, when your recent resume should have you throwing precautionary reasons out the window you just accidentally put your foot through while DDT'ing your d-partner. Now, this "laceration" is almost definitely far, far worse than I am making it out to be. I certainly hope that's the case because - as far as I am concerned - "laceration" is just a fancy term for minor flesh wound and a minor flesh wound shouldn't sideline someone whose desperation to win something (i.e. anything) should be at an all-time high.
I can't really say I am surprised. I thought that asking outlandish questions for dramatic effect was more of an NFL combine practice, but - with the undeniable success that football has had identifying high character athletes - it was obviously bound to infiltrate NBA circles. So, am I stunned that a talent evaluator asked a 23 year old to mentally fast forward through his whole career and entire adult life to definitively select a favorite way to expire? Not particularly. I do, however, snicker at the thought of what overly critical scouts could derive from what has to be far and away the most common answer to "how exactly would you like to become a corpse?". Now, chances are that introducing themselves with an inquiry that would make the average person ever-so-slowly back away is just a tool to gauge how easily flustered a prospect may be. However - in the most non-morbid way possible - I like to think executives are doing a deep dive on preferred deaths and what they say about a potential pro athlete. For instance... Frank Mason III wants to go out in his sleep? What a chump! Must not have that killer instinct to keep toughing it out through his last breath. Does that sound like someone you'd want with the ball in his hands down two possessions late in the fourth quarter? A guy that doesn't want to be mentally present while battling against the biggest 'L' that life has to offer? Playing at Kansas really must have left this kid feeling entitled if he expects death to be painless. How could he possibly be prepared for playoff basketball if he's already planning on actively avoiding adversity en route to eternal glory. Knock him down the draft board, because - in the good name of Hank Gathers - we can't select a player who doesn't have his heart set on eventually stopping on the hardwood before late in the second round. Dropping six under without even scratching and clawing to stay above ground. Sounds like someone that should be a target for the Clippers. Strengths: Jump shot, physicality, experience. Weaknesses: Size, passing, fears tragedy, dreads suffering. James Harden's Season Ending Performance Wasn't As Concerning As The Fact That It's Now A Trend5/12/2017
Here's what I am going to do. I am going to take James Harden at his word. I'd rather not believe that an NBA MVP candidate is capable of having a game that would make the average pick-up player take his ball, go home, and stuff it deep in the closet for the next 6-8 months. However, I simply have to assume that he was - indeed - "good" because if there was ever a time to admit that he was "bad" it was following an effort that had people legitimately considering the possibility that a professional athlete was drugged prior to a playoff game. Nothing can take away from a transformative season that no one - sans Mike D'Antoni - saw coming, but I hope to hear that Harden was dealing with some type of mental of physical ailment just so I don't have to question whether or not the last 90 or so games were the world's most impressive facade. Now, I don't want to make it sound like great players aren't vulnerable to putrid performances under pressure nor am I at liberty to start throwing the Q-word around. Gregg Popovich is a basketball genius and a beautiful defensive mind so if there was someone to put the shackles on James Harden then it was him. Still - assuming Gregg Popovich is not a basketball wizard that can hypnotize otherworldly athletes with his stare and blink them out of their ball security - the most concerning part about James Harden's lethargically absentminded play last night is that it's something we've seen before. Flashback to 2015 when the Rockets looked like their season was cooked in Game 6 against the Clippers. Do you remember where the fearless beard was while Josh Smith (yup, that Josh Smith) led the most unlikely comeback in NBA history? The picture might be painted differently in retrospect, but he was sulking on the bench as someone who was completely and utterly resigned to defeat. How about 2016 when James Harden looked to be literally napping near the baseline while the Golden State Warriors ran circles around the least deserving 8 seed in recent memory? Consider that we watched one of the best scorers of all time match the shot total of Clint fucking Capela and commit 3x as many turnovers as he had made field goals in an elimination game, and it's tough to ignore the trend forming. I don't want to say that James Harden dips out of dodge faster than someone that sees an old, outgoing classmate walking down the street towards them when he runs into adversity, but it's certainly beginning to look that way. The last three times his season has been in jeopardy he has done everything in his power to make sure his extended vacation time was not. Things appeared different this year. With the way he was sharing the ball and leading his team he looked like someone that had turned the corner and left his loser mentality in the rearview. Maybe James Harden was hurt. Maybe he was sick. Maybe basketball playing aliens stole his talent. Maybe one laughable game that would have had the coach in 'Blue Chips' confidently accusing him of shaving points was simply an untimely anomaly. Let's hope it was one of those scenarios, because the alternative is that James Harden gave up against a Spurs team that was without it's best player/most intimidating defender and that his old habits made the Rockets' unforeseen championship run die hard. A Cop Sued His Department After Finding Out He Was 18% Black And Becoming The Target Of Racist Jokes5/11/2017 TheGrio- A white police officer in Michigan took a genetic test through Ancestry.com in December and was surprised to learn that 18 percent of his ancestral DNA traced back to Africa. However, his colleagues in the police department and even at the city level didn’t seem to take the news of his ancestry well.
According to a suit filed on behalf of Cleon Brown, officers in the Hastings Police Department whispered “Black Lives Matter” as they passed him, and the chief referred to him as “Kunte,” after the character in Alex Haley’s novel “Roots: The Saga of an American Family.” “There was an instance where my client was talking to the mayor, and the mayor ― upon learning that my client was 18 percent African-American ― proceeded to tell him a racist joke” using a racial slur, Brown’s attorney, Karie Boylan, told CBS Detroit. Additionally, the Christmas tree in the office was decorated with different Santa Claus figurines, each named after the different officers on the force. The one for Brown was black, with “18%” written on the beard. Brown has since filed a federal civil rights lawsuit for $500,000 and is also calling for better racial sensitivity training for the officers. In responding to the suit, the City of Hastings claimed that it was Brown himself who kept bringing up his heritage and making inappropriate jokes about it, according to WOOD-TV. The officer involved in the Santa incident has apologized to Brown, and the city claims that the chief told the officers that further jokes about Brown’s heritage would not be tolerated. ------- If this isn't symbolic of the luck that African Americans tend to have with the police then I don't know what the hell is. The first minority that has a legitimate opportunity to get one over on law enforcement and hold them accountable for what sounds like institutional racism isssss...82% white. Someone could finally get paid reparations for the racial profiling that is prevalent in an oft-crooked profession, and that person isssss...some dude that has never been pulled over not knowing what he did wrong. Those in positions of authority might have to pay for the n-bombs and 'Roots' references used in the office and the recipient isssss....some asshole that unquestionably found that type of discrimination hilarious until he realized he could monetize it. If I were a black person I would be jumping up and down screaming "it's just not fucking fair!" after reading this story. All they asked for is the indictment of one or two cops out of the handful that shot and killed unarmed African Americans so they could get a little peace of mind, and what did they get instead? Potentially a 6 figure payout to some dude who - at his blackest - could casually walk down a suburban street in the middle of the night and not automatically be deemed the lead suspect in a yet-to-be-reported crime. Casual racism is finally brought to justice, and the white man still walks away richer. Never mind the percentages and his skin color, do you know how I know this guy couldn't possibly be more caucasian? He immediately tried to extort what little blackness he did have for all it was worth. P.S. Cleon Brown? CLEON BROWN?! That had to be a post-ancestry test name change, right? AZCentral- Leonard did not work out for the Suns, who were picking 13th. He was clearly a defensive standout but the San Diego State power forward needed to become an NBA small forward at 6 feet 7. His jump shot was suspect but his work ethic was not. His college coach, Steve Fisher, told NBA staff that Leonard would not be satisfied by money.
There seems like there would have been much to discuss about Leonard. A gaze at his 7-3 wingspan and hands as long as men’s size 7½ shoes would be an adequate prompt. This is when it would be convenient to say the Suns did not pick Leonard because of an overabundance of rotation small forwards on the roster — Grant Hill, Jared Dudley and Josh Childress. … But with a front office conducting its first draft in Phoenix, then-General Manager Lance Blanks’ staff did not have Leonard in the discussion. Part of the Suns’ knock on Leonard, beyond his perimeter shot, was how nervously he acted in a draft combine interview, when he sweated through his suit. ------- That's it, I'm calling timeout. I refuse to sit here silently while people criticize the Phoenix Suns for letting the gleam emanating from Kawhi Leonard's forehead blind them from seeing the versatility of the talent he possessed. I know it's fun to play the "what if?" game in regards to the draft, but let's not act like the body odor wafting from the pit stains of a middling prospect wasn't worthy of a 'Degree' of concern. I hate to throw an 'Axe' into this retrospective bashing of a former NBA front office member, but not even Kawhi Leonard thought he would be Kawhi Leonard in 2011. I would agree that a struggling team should have done their due diligence and brought someone with a 7'3 wingspan in for a looksy, but swimming in your suit once the bright light hits you isn't what I would consider positive foreshadowing for a guy whose shooting was considered questionable. Obviously every team in the league would have gladly reinforced their janitorial staff if they knew that the interviewee who - by comparison - made Patrick Ewing look like a viable 'Old Spice' spokesperson was going to become an MVP candidate and the best two way player in the NBA. Unfortunately - as we should all know by now - not every team in the league is the San Antonio Spurs. All due respect to Kawhi Leonard, but if he didn't fall into the all-knowing hands of Gregg Popovich then who is to say that he wouldn't currently be unnervingly sweating into perspiration buckets at the end of an NBA bench? The guy worked his ass off to be mentioned in the "what dumbass reason did you have for passing on him?" category, but he was also granted the perfect opportunity to mature into a player whose body now allows him to answer stupid questions without looking like he's eating ghost peppers in a sauna. Uproxx- Lin told Foye that one fan at Georgetown shouted negative Asian stereotypes at him, such as “chicken fried rice!” and “beef lo mein!” and “beef and broccoli,” throughout the entire game. And when Harvard visited Yale one time, Lin said fans heckled his appearance, specifically his eyes.
“They were like, ‘Hey! Can you even see the scoreboard with those eyes?'” Lin recalled. “To this day in the NBA, there are still some times where there are still some fans that will say smaller stuff, and that is not a big deal,” Lin said. “But that motivates me in a different way.” ----- What? No. Say it ain't so! You mean to tell me that hoards of rich, white Ivy Leaguers that are belligerently drunk off grain alcohol and dime-a-dozen beer are more likely to be racially insensitive towards Asian people than the average person paying to attend an NBA game? I can't - no - I won't believe it. Those kids were probably just loudly discussing their postgame order from 'Mister Wong's Wok', and Jeremy Lin took it the wrong way because it made him hangry. I doubt they would badger him with hackneyed insults about his appearance when it was granted to him by his heritage. They were likely just making sure he didn't forget to regularly visit his optometrist. How were they supposed to know that his prolonged squint was genetic when student sections historically don't see color? If there's anything I know about college kids it's that the combination of weekday drinking and sports make them a much more tolerant group that would never target an athlete due to his nationality. Plus, do we really believe that one of Yale's fine, young scholars would have the gall to be culturally insensitive when he was merely one influx of Engineering majors away from becoming the minority on campus? The Wife Of Texas Coach Tom Herman Protected The Pack By Firing Back At A Whiny Oklahoma Assistant5/11/2017 LBS- Tom Herman is doing work entering his first season at Texas and has been busy trying to flip recruits. He’s successfully flipped a few from Oklahoma, which may have led to this tweet being sent by Oklahoma DBs coach Kerry Cooks on Monday...
Usually I am critical of the "well, actually..." crowd. The fact that the lovely woman who went that particular route summoned the encyclopedic description of a certain breed of animal should only make her retort more insufferable. Unfortunately - in this case - she's simply too correct (and attractive) to dismiss. I wouldn't know Kerry Cooks from any middle-aged man walking down the street in an Oklahoma Sooners' polo but he probably shouldn't concern himself with promotion, because clearly he doesn't know what it takes to be the head coach of a college football team. I know "a wolf in sheep's clothing" is supposed to be an insult, but show me a sheepish recruiter and I'll show you the next addition to the unemployment line. Did a conference rival's defensive backs coach really search Google to not-so-subliminally mention that Tom Herman is a nice guy on the surface and a ruthless, take-no-prisoners predator when it comes to his business? If so, then those Pinocchio emojis seem pretty out of place following a compliment. Nick Saban, Urban Meyer, Jim Harbaugh, Les Miles, and - yes - even Bob Stoops. They all have one thing in common, and it's that they would nut in your wife if they thought her womb was capable of producing a 5-star recruit 19 years down the road. Considering the state of Texas' football, they needed someone that would embrace the "mess with the bull, you get the Longhorns" mindset. Going on Twitter to call Tom Herman a hunter that preys on vulnerable, impressionable 18 year olds is essentially the equivalent of giving him an online pat on the ass, because it doesn't just prove that he's doing his job. It proves he's doing it well.
Barry Trotz may have very well said everything when he made it a point to say nothing. His semantically harmless response when questioned on the effectiveness of Alexander Ovechkin in Game 7 required an amount of restraint that is characteristic of a sober person describing what went wrong in their failed marriage. If that didn't give you a little insight to how he felt about his captain's performance then you're probably a neutral zone liability since you clearly have trouble reading between the lines. Now, I can't - in good conscience - sit here and tell you that Alexander the Gr8 is the main reason that the Capitals' have a another long summer of self loathing ahead of them when Braden Holtby just removed the diaper he tested the limits of over the last seven games. I can, on the other hand, echo the unspoken sentiment of their head coach in saying that he definitely didn't live up to his nickname. This, however, isn't about whether or not Ovechkin did all he could to prevent the two goals that he got a first hand look at as they sealed what has become his team's annual fate. This is about whether or not his team's annual fate would differ without him there at all. There's no denying that a change of scenery can be good for a player, just as an influx of new faces can be good for a franchise that needs to cut ties with it's oldest friend, darkness. In a perfect world, trading potentially the best goal scorer of all time could garner a return that would benefit both parties and hopefully chase away the ghosts of playoffs' past. Can you imagine how much better off Washington would be if they flipped a dynamic winger whose defensive abilities/smarts leave a lot to be desired in exchange for a two-way, first-pairing defenseman that can eat 25 minutes a night and play in all situations? It would almost seem too good to be true, and that's because getting thee most coveted of asset for nothing more than a scapegoat that couldn't even crack the top 6 when it mattered most is too good to be true. By selling low the Capitals would be wrapping a perennial 30 goal scorer and the most dangerous power play weapon in the entire NHL in "postseason conundrum" packaging. With that type of unintentional sales pitch, I just don't see how moving him could end up being a net positive in the short term. Technically speaking, the best regular season team of the last two years is still very much a championship contender - even if they constantly fail to contend for a championship. Does dismissing their leader - albeit one who lacks leadership qualities - for below market value increase their chances of shaking a stigma that's become a self fulfilling prophecy? It's an exceedingly difficult question to answer, and that's why I would strip him of the 'C' and make his drop down the lineup permanent before I even dared to say what Barry Trotz wanted to say. Not just because I think it could help alter what is now a laughable identity, but because history shows that getting 77 cents on the dollar doesn't make it any easier to bust through a glass ceiling.
I'm going to be honest. I feel bad providing context for this clip. Watching Marc-Andre Fleury gently give his shaft a nice stroking is at it's peak humor-wise when you have absolutely no idea why he's doing it. Unfortunately - if you're a lowly Capitals fan - his performance was too key to the Penguins Game 7 victory for me to just sit here and try to make a bunch of not-so-subtle masturbation references. Therefore, I regretfully inform you that MAF is extremely superstitious, and the self love that he showed his stick was out of appreciation for it's opportune placement...
Basically, it was an example of the same passion that he has for his goal posts when they handle their business from behind... Anyway, enough about Marc-Andre Fleury offering a giving hand as he whispers sweet nothings to inanimate objects, because what he finished off last night easily transcended a GIF that can safely be used during passive aggressive sexting with someone whose boundaries you are testing. What he did last night was put an exclamation point on the unexpected relief appearance that has helped to carry the defending champions through the first two rounds of the playoffs. What he did last night was make a team that's been without their #1 defenseman, #1 goaltender, and - at times - their #1 center's cerebral cortex the prohibitive favorite to represent the Eastern Conference in the Stanley Cup Finals. What he did last night was punctuate a two week performance that put the Vezina Candidate at the other end of the ice to shame. Surely there's a lot of narratives to be discussed, but the predominant story of what was a fairly ridiculous series is that Marc-Andre Fleury outplayed Braden Holtby and it wasn't even particularly close. The "backup" that lost his job to a rookie and had many patiently waiting for him to come back to Earth where they largely view him as a postseason choke artist just beat off (hehe) his haters with an effort that could ultimately result in the implosion of the team that undeniable got the better of his own. Obviously everyone's first order of business is to point and laugh at Washington while talking about Alexander Ovechkin as if he's the antichrist that's preventing them from reaching the promised land. However, let us not forget that having a fucking field day at the expense of the back-to-back Presidents' Trophy winners wouldn't be possible without the oft-forgotten man that made the fact that they were the better team a moot point. Frank Clark Finally Apologized For His Moronic Tweet, And He Toooootally Did So On His Own Accord5/10/2017
— Frank Clark (@TheRealFrankC_) May 10, 2017 Okay fine, so the original "apology" that he posted for his inexcusable, unrepentant reaction to being reminded of his own despicable past of domestic violence had a bit of a "I'm sorry that you feel that way" vibe to it, but that revised version? They don't come much more genuine than that, folks. Everyone knows that a person's true feelings only come out when they are geotagged at the office of their employer. Frank Clark might have misspoke by implying that women can only work in a profession that doesn't involve cooking or cleaning for so long before their boss remembers that they have a vagina and promptly fires them. However, it's tough to argue that he didn't make up for his sexist remark by sitting down - free of supervision, of course - and conjuring up an articulate public statement that reads much more compassionately than anything he's ever written on that very same Twitter account previously. I was all set to consider him a hopeless human being that still doesn't recognize members of the fairer sex as his equal, but after seeing that carefully crafted, copy-and-pasted admission of guilt I can't help but think that it's definitely/totally/finally his true self that is speaking on his behalf instead of his "emotions". DrSaturday- Three Illinois football players were arrested on Wednesday on charges of home invasion and armed robbery after an alleged incident at a school dormitory.
Darta Lee, Zarrian Holcombe and Howard Watkins were all booked throughout Wednesday morning at Champaign County Jail, according to online records. All three are set to be arraigned at 1:30 p.m. CT on Thursday. Champaign police Lt. Dave Shaffer told the (Champaign) News-Gazette that the incident appeared to be a “stupid plan” that went wrong once the victim recognized the voice of one of the players. From the newspaper: “Three individuals entered an apartment masked and the victim recognized one of them by voice,” Shaffer said. “He pulled his mask off and tried to make light of the situation. One of them produced what we now know to be fake firearm and demanded cash.” ------ I would love to play the contrarian here, but it's tough not to agree with the Police Lieutenant in saying this was - indeed - a stupid plan. Three football players thinking that they could rob the apartment of someone that knew at least one of them well enough to be like "Darta? That you bro?" when he said "give me all your money now" is - objectively speaking - not smart. Continuing to carry out the theft after your accomplice unveils his not-so-secret identity is - without question - actually dumb. That said, I can't help but think that quick and easy voice recognition wasn't even the most mind-numbing aspect of this attempted robbery. Consider this - Darta Lee is 6'3, 300 pounds, Zarrian Holcombe is 6'6, 220 pounds, and Howard Watkins is 6'5, 280 pounds. Who the fuck did they think they were fooling with ski masks? I admittedly haven't visited the University of Illinois, but something tells me that trio tends to stick out around campus. I'm honestly shocked that the victim had to hear them speak before putting the pieces together. I bet the guy that they tried to stick up could recognize them from afar while they are running around the practice field in full pads and helmets, so why the hell would a thin piece of black cloth over their faces throw him off their scent? You know how people say that the kid that matures faster than his peers "doesn't know his own strength"? Well, it's very clear that these three stooges don't know their own damn size, because I'm almost positive that they gave themselves away the second they had to duck through the doorway they kicked open.
LBS- On Wednesday, ESPN’s Adam Schefter told 97.5 The Fanatic that there is “absolutely nothing” to the reports of a potential Ingram-for-Kelce swap.
“There is absolutely nothing to that. There was absolutely never anything to that,” Schefter said, as transcribed by Matt Lombardo of NJ.com. “I spoke to people in both organizations, and they both said the same thing; ‘We’ve never spoken.’ I don’t know where that started. Maybe that would start talks up now, but I doubt it based on those reactions from both organizations. That was never in the works. I don’t want to say it would never happen, because stranger things have happened, but I’m just telling you there is nothing to that as of right now.” ------ Ahh, the internet - where one random person's thought can be considered a "rumor" that's strong enough that it's denouncement is newsworthy. Max Unger was deemed doubtful to be ready for the start of the regular season for all of about 12 hours (tops), and somehow the Saints had already had extensive talks about trading their starting running back for his replacement. Merely the beginning of May with their center's rehab yet to be underway, and Sean Payton and Mickey Loomis were so desperate for a 2-4 week starter (if that) in the middle of a newly rebuilt offensive line that they put their only proven, versatile rusher on the trading block. Seems legit. The Saints front office probably hung up to debate the pros and cons and only then did they check to how the surgery that made it thee most remote of possibility went. Nothing fishy about the timing of that "report". You know, unless you factor in that the source carrying it was a "little birdie". Then - and only then - might it begin to stink to the highest of heavens...
There it is, folks. Nope, it's not a promotional poster for 'North 2' - the wayward tale of a 20 year old white boy, the foreign parents that forcefully adopted him, and the hilarious cultural mishaps that ensue. Instead, it's visual evidence that it took a lot more than natural, God-given talent for Connor McDavid to get where he is today. That awkward pose? That is undeniable proof that the kid who singlehandedly turned around the fortunes of the Edmonton Oilers has spent his entire life working so hard on his craft that all his social skills fell by the wayside. Admittedly, it's strange for a married couple to latch on to a professional athlete like he's their first born, but anyone that's been around a college girl that's had too much to drink knows how to grin and bear it without looking as if they are the victim in a Liam Neeson movie. We have all had our photogenic struggles with hand placement, but Connor McDavid's inability to configure his body so that he doesn't appear allergic to human contact is a telltale sign that he grew up with a stick permanently affixed to his mitts. I can't imagine it's easy to force a smile whenever a stranger interrupts your life for a photo-op, but that glare that screams "help me"? That's the facial expression of someone that was practicing his crossovers during school dances. It showcases the gracelessness of someone that was skating suicides in a weighted vest while his competition was slugging beers on Snapchat. The only pictures he's ever felt welcome in were championship photos, and he's likely a generational talent because of it...
Oh, the irony of any NFL player - never mind one with a history of domestic violence - critiquing the professional longevity of literally any other person in any other career. Frank Clark could sprain his ankle tripping over his rap sheet tomorrow and potentially end up unemployed. It's not likely considering he had double digit sacks last season, but a defensive end on his non-guaranteed rookie contract is throwing rocks from behind his glass fish tank if the argument is about job security. Now, obviously the more important issue here is that his tweet was blatantly sexist and mildly threatening, but - hey - Rome wasn't built in a day. You don't go from getting tossed off your college team for assaulting your girlfriend to leading the march for equal rights in three short years. I know he was wrong for targeting a writer's gender because she reposted a fact-based piece about his past, but at least he didn't escort her to a hotel room and knock her unconscious. That's a little something we call progress! Let's not just assume that this ill-advised tweet proves that getting dismissed from the University of Michigan and narrowly avoiding arrest didn't teach him anything. When the first lesson is "stop punching women in the face" the learning curve to treating them with respect can be pretty, pretty long. It's clear that Frank Clark still has a long way to go before he's the type to hold the door open for the fairer sex in the literal sense, but - metaphorically speaking - Natalie Weiner didn't even have to knock to get offered a stereotypical job opportunity! Turns out chivalry isn't dead, it was just injured by the insulting, misogynistic overtones of a professional athlete who somehow still doesn't understand equality. |
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