Manu Ginobili Sealed A Game 5 Victory For The Spurs By Blocking James Harden Like He Fathered Him5/10/2017
Unbelievable. Simply unbelievable. It's not just the fact that a seemingly ageless 39 year old swatted an MVP candidate's game tying three point attempt in triumphant fashion. It's that he looked like a 39 year old playing his youngest son 1-on-1 in the driveway when he did it. James Harden was 10 years old when San Antonio drafted Manu Giniboli, and you would have thought he was still 10 years old with the way he got baited into that block. Think back to the days when your dad stopped letting you beat him and started to use the fact that he was bigger than you to his advantage. I'm not Jewish so the closest thing I had to a rite of passage was driving past the old man thinking I had an open lay-up only for him to force feed me the basketball like it had the same nutritional value of the vegetables I tossed in the trash. That's essentially what the savviest of veterans did to one of the best pure scorers in the entire NBA during one of the most pressure packed moments of these (otherwise boring) playoffs. James Harden shot didn't even get returned to its sender, because it literally got swiped from his hands before he could even mail it out. He basically got bullied by someone whose been around this same block about a dozen times. The NBA's elder statesmen played the role of the irrationally hands-on coach to someone that moved the ball in overtime less than the cocky kid that thinks he's too good for his youth basketball team. The Rockets ran their offense as though they were actively trying to lose, and the most seasoned member of their opposition proved that there is something to the theory that wisdom comes with age. With Kawhi Leonard sitting on the bench with a sore ankle, it's a good thing that he did.
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Sometimes I feel bad for Henrik Lundqvist. Sometimes those (seemingly annual) iconic photos of him laying face first on the ice as his incompetent defenseman and underperforming forwards swirl around the net like they are circling a net minder who is all-but-dead inside serve as a reminder of just how many years of a generational talent have gone wasted. Sometimes I think he's been taken for granted by a franchise that's somehow defied the allure of New York City to become a yearly postseason casualty in increasingly feeble fashion. Sometimes I even believe he deserves better than these 'Groundhog's Day'-esque endings to seasons that are tick-tick-tocking away as quickly as his biological clock, but then I ask myself..."what could be better than being the best?" I'm not suggesting that Henrik Lundqvist will go down as the greatest goalie to ever live. That seat is currently being held by someone far, far more accomplished. However, if he continues this tragic career trajectory then he may very well be able to stake his claim as the greatest goalie to never win. That title might seem like one he's done anything and everything possible to avoid, but it's one that allows him to safely scapegoat others. He would probably deem his career unsuccessful if he left the NHL with no Stanley Cups to his name, but the next best thing besides success is not having to take responsibility for your failures. If you really think about it, the New York Rangers have done him a favor by surrounding him with a helpless supporting cast that couldn't defend their own shadow. Just think of the elite company he is more than likely going to keep: Charles Barkley, Dan Marino, Henrik Lundqvist. Those are some eye popping names and they were able to achieve that notoriety without having to win on the biggest stage in their respective fields. Sure, raising the most prestigious trophy is all of sports would be a hell of an experience, but who is to say it would have the staying power of being the goaltender by which all exploited, snake bitten goaltenders are compared to for the rest of time? It probably sucks to be remembered as a perennial loser, but does it suck as much as being completely forgotten?
Personally, I think anyone that tries to engage/threaten/shit talk any player from the comfort and safety of their own seat is a bit of a loser, but Isaiah Thomas? During this postseason? I know that what happens on the court is technically separate from everything he has recently endured off the court, but - come on - have the smallest amount of self respect. Let the 5'8 guard whose playing above expectations and beyond the tragic death of his sister have a few weeks of from dealing with froggish fans who would never in a million years leap. At the end of the day, it probably won't truly bother the professional athlete who is surely used to the senseless chatter. However, it probably should bother the dude that is making a public spectacle out of his insecurities as a fake tough guy that would undoubtedly get fucked up by one of the smallest players in the NBA if scream came to shove. The St. Louis Cardinals Tweeted Then Deleted Some Casual Sexism While Promoting A Stadium Giveaway5/9/2017
Maybe a heterosexual, white male like myself shouldn't be the one dissecting what's wrong with a social media promotion that was clearly viewed as sexist enough to eventually get it taken down. After all, I usually identify with all cliched male interests that businesses use to catch my eye and empty my wallet. I may not "love" baseball, but I like it enough to consider eating lukewarm hot dogs and drinking overpriced beer in the sun a "win". So yeah, unfortunately I can't relate to having companies unfairly target me because their aim is typically spot on. That said, the fact that I am essentially the masculine equivalent of a basic bitch doesn't mean I can't see when a blatant act of pandering misses it's mark. I know the obvious problem with this tweet is that it's frowned upon to imply that an entire gender can be persuaded to go places and do things with shiny accessories, but - in my opinion - the underlying issue is far more important here. It's not just the idea of it being a generalization. It's the fact that it's soooo far off base that it didn't even require a slick pick off move to get outed. There are undoubtedly some ladies that are prone to 'buy, buy, buy' when jewelry is used as a selling point and they definitely aren't the same type of ladies that would be caught dead with a shitty, replica World Series ring on their finger. On the other hand, the female fans would have interest in the type of "jewelry" that you'd find at the bottom of a 'Cracker Jack' box likely already had tickets to begin with. Stereotypes exist for a reason, but this misstep was more like a stereotypo. I know this kind of goes without saying since we are talking about some dude sitting behind a keyboard who can't promote a stadium giveaway without an online mob forming at his proverbial doorstep, but the Cardinals' social media person has a lot to learn bout women.
Alright, let's get the pleasantries out of the way. I'm glad that Chris Froome is no worse for the wear after some crazy asshole intentionally rear ended his bicycle. I'm just picturing that situation in my head and I can't fathom how someone would come away from it completely unscathed. It's ridiculous that a person literally ran a motor vehicle into a 3x 'Tour De France' winner and the only real damage that was done was done to an inanimate object. It's undoubtedly great news that he's not in a hospital bed somewhere. Not only because what happened to him was incredibly fucked up, but because the use of his extremities will make it much easier for him to look up the difference between "impatient" and "inconvenienced". Maybe there's some cultural differences here, but I'm assuming "pavement" just means the street, correct? Some impatient driver followed him down the street? Those things that were built for cars to go from one place to another in a timely fashion? I apologize if I'm underselling the road rage that took place here and someone actually popped up on the sidewalk to take out a cyclist 'Grand Theft Auto' style, but this sounds like Chris Froome was just casually pedaling along like the world was his race course. That doesn't mean it's okay to clear the way with your front bumper, but it does make him seem a bit self important when he implies that waiting for a biker to get the hell out of the way is a necessary evil of driving. I personally wouldn't get vehicularly homicidal because a guy added 10-15 seconds on to my trip, but I sure as shit would scream a bunch of obscenities at him. Again, I don't know exactly what happened but if this took place how I picture it then I hope it's an unfortunate experience that teaches Chris Froome to stay in his damn lane going forward, because it sounds like it was a "get off the track when the train is coming through" situation.
A sweepstakes, you say? One that will have multiple teams vying for the services of a Russian goal scorer late into his 30's and perhaps beyond? And it could - but probably (definitely) won't - end on July 1st? Man, oh man, that sounds so very intriguing...to any organization but the one that had an entire offseason and asset pool hijacked by the same guy's superficial need to see eight zeros on his now defunct contract. I've already put way too much thought into this scenario playing out. I have spewed far too many words on the subject, and I simply don't have the stomach to do another deep dive on Ilya Kovalchuk's potential return to the NHL. Therefore, I'll leave it at this - I want the New Jersey Devils to sign him as soon as possible, and instantly flip the son of a bitch for anything that's worth so much as a damn to the future of the franchise. I have no idea what kind of return he'll command, nor do I particularly care as long as he is someone else's problem sooner rather than later. "Look at his KHL numbers..." this and ::insert Alexander Radulov comparison:: that, but if I have to experience another 'Summer Of Kovy' I will legitimately hit myself over the head with a baseball bat. As far as I am concerned, the highest bidder gets a 34 year old Russian with his fair share of character issues, an incessant desire to be fawned over, and a spine/skill set that will likely age quicker than the Devils' prospect pool. I couldn't be happier that the man who matters most appears to mirror that mindset, because the last two years have been dedicated towards everything that is anti-Ilya. Plus, who bothers entering a sweepstakes when they've already won the draft lottery?
Hm, doesn't it seem like Jack Todd is excessively upset about a 15 second interaction between teammates that was enabled by a beat reporter giving up his recorder and gave everyone in the winning locker room a quick laugh? I know journalists have a job (that's reliant upon the efforts of the talent they are covering) to do and all that jazz, but getting that upset about a player having some fun after a hard fought series feels like a bit of an overreaction. I don't know, that transcript reads pretty innocently to me. Maybe it cost the media a question or two, but there's no reason for someone to get their panties in a wad over it...or is there... Look, I know Jack Todd is entitled to his shitty opinion, but now is definitely not the time to voice it. It may sound like I vehemently disagree with him (I do), but I'm really just trying to give the guy some constructive criticism. P.K. Subban could piss on a live microphone tomorrow, and there's not a think piece that could be written by an overly critical member of the Montreal media that wouldn't be laughed off the page. Admittedly, I don't know the Predators' dance-happy defenseman personally. He seems like one of the most lovable people and personalities in the entire NHL. Maybe that's a front. Maybe he is - indeed - an attention whore. Maybe Mike Milbury wasn't being a hacky, casually racist troll (i.e. himself). Maybe P.K. Subban really is one red nose away from the circus and needs to be whacked upside the head so as not to distract from Nashville's 8-2 record in the playoffs...or something. Maybe he is single-handedly killing the newspaper industry by impinging upon deadlines with his malicious congeniality. Even if allllll of that were 100% true (and it's not), the last person that could serve as a reliable source is the guy that desperately argued on behalf of the trade that sent him to the city in which he is now thriving. It may have very well been the right move for both teams in the long run. However, anyone associated with the Montreal Canadians is just going to have to sit back and soak in their own misery for the time being. Nashville is on fire and that means P.K. Subban is untouchable to those that forced him to pastures that are currently greener than their envy with stupid, critical commentary on his charisma. P.S. Yes, even to the people that apparently fought for the right to do so in the Vietnam War (?). TheSportingNews- The end of the season for Dwight Howard went from bad to worse after he found himself in legal trouble.
Hours after the Hawks were bounced from the NBA playoffs by the Wizards in Game 6, Howard was pulled over early April 29 by police in Dunwoody, Ga., for speeding. The officer discovered Howard had been driving on a suspended registration and without insurance and had his car towed, the Atlanta Journal Constitution reported. When Howard was told that he came up as flagged for not having insurance and a suspended registration, the Hawks big man seemed "confused" and insisted he had insurance, according to the police report. But Howard was unable to present an insurance card to the officer. Howard was issued a citation for not having insurance and received a verbal warning for speeding, even though he was going 95 mph in a 65 mph zone. His car, a 2016 Audi Rs7, was impounded. The Hawks declined comment about the incident. ----------- Is it wrong to think that the officer that pulled over Dwight Howard didn't have his car impounded because he was without just about every piece of paperwork necessary to legally operate a motor vehicle, but because he truly believed he was too dumb to have it? I'm sure there is some type of protocol that calls for seizing the car when the person behind the wheel stares back blankly when asked for their license, registration, and insurance, but I picture this cop taking his keys from him like a concerned mother. Almost as if it wasn't the obvious infractions that made him call the tow company, but the idea that he didn't trust the moron stupid enough to commit those infractions with getting home safely. Considering he went un-ticketed for going 30 MPH over the speed limit, I'm inclined to believe he pitied the idiot who was whipping around in a flashy car with no way to identify it as his own while making enough money to charter a private jet to every single home game. After all, if he wanted to be a dick he could have arrested him and if he wanted to give him NBA player privilege he could have let him off completely. Instead he deemed the best punishment was to basically put him in vehicular timeout. To put this in terms Dwight Howard would understand, the candy jar was locked away for the benefit of the overgrown child that was too unsubtle to not get caught with his hand in seconds before sitting down for dinner. Getting knockout out of the playoffs in the first round only to immediately end up in legal trouble is the most "Dwight Howard" ending to a season of all time, but - unlike that officer - I can't feel bad for the person that brings all this crap upon himself. Oh well, at least he finally got posted up. Too bad it was on the side of the highway without his own means of transportation.
Is it more egregious to genuinely not care about the health of your players, or to disingenuously take the necessary steps just to make it look like you do? I can't help but think that it's worse to employ neurological professionals as nothing more than a precautionary facade than it is to not employ neurological professionals at all. It's a poorly kept secret that the NHL's concern with debilitating head injuries directly correlates with their concern for covering their own ass, but when situations like last night go unchecked it becomes readily apparent that their front is as transparent as whatever the fuck is protruding from Donald Trump's scalp. I don't think I ask for too much in terms of tending to the willing participants in an inherently violent sport. However, if you're going to institute a concussion protocol then the least you could do is make sure the best player in the world goes through it when he - almost literally - flies face first into the boards less than a week after suffering a potentially severe concussion. I don't need Gary Bettman and Co. to truly prioritize the well being of the talent that fattens their pockets, but I would appreciate it if they did a better job pretending it's at least slightly more important than counting their money. Now, I certainly don't envy the job of a concussion spotter. I wouldn't want to leave a cushy seat in a luxury suite to pull one of the most competitive athletes in the world from the ice during an elimination game like he's a child who was caught out past curfew.. That said, they might as well receive their severance packages now, because if you don't so much as ask Sidney Crosby if he knows where he is after that hit then you can no longer justify interfering in any game from here on out. I don't care if someone gets tombstone pile-drived during Game 7 and is hopelessly meandering in a circle like he just finished his turn at the plate during 'Dizzy Bat'. The precedent has been set, and that precedent is that the NHL playoffs are apparently too important for prudent medical procedures. I would think valuing the long term availability of one of the most must-watch players in the entire league over his presence on the ice during a couple of shifts in Game 6 would be a wise business decision. Then again, the NHL makes the wise business decision about as often as the average hockey player voluntarily leaves the ice during the postseason. UPDATE: Only read this "explanation" (aka justification aka rationalization aka excuse bka complete bullshit) if you are prepared to come away from it slightly dumber... USA Today - Concussion spotters didn’t have the authority to pull Pittsburgh Penguins star Sidney Crosby from Game 6 on Monday because his head-first collision with the boards is not a “mechanism of injury” that allows that under their guidelines. Under the current concussion policy, the league’s central concussion spotter only would have been able to force Crosby out had his head hit the ice or another player. “Depending on the mechanism of injury, ‘slow to get up’ does not trigger mandatory removal,” NHL deputy commissioner Bill Daly told USA TODAY Sports. “The protocol has to be interpreted literally to mandate a removal. ‘Ice’ as compared to ‘boards’ is in there for a reason. It’s the result of a study on our actual experiences over a number of years. ‘Ice’ has been found to be a predictor of concussions — ‘boards’ has not been.” NBD, but KBD: Max Unger Could Miss The Beginning Of The Season After A Little Offseason Foot Surgery5/8/2017
Just a little 'good news, bad news' for Saints' fans in early-May. It may be tough for some to see the sunshine beyond the clouds with New Orleans losing the veteran lynchpin of what was looking to be a pretty stout offensive line, but - factually speaking - Max Unger can't get hurt during training camp if he's sitting out training camp. I don't have a PhD so I don't know much about football related injuries, but I know that it's tough to suffer them when you're physically unable to play football. Can't get severely hurt during non-contact drills when you're not participating in non-contact drills. The way I see it, this was a preemptive measure to guarantee Max Unger's health when the games matter the most. Hell, the whole damn team should have snuck in a surgery just to trick the malicious injury bugs into swarming around a different locker room for once. Not sure what prompted this procedure 4 months after last season ended, but - hey - sometimes Spring has to rain on your parade to remind you that brighter days lie ahead. The first IR stint of the offseason was bound to be a depressing one, so it might as well have come when there's still plenty of time for it to heal. Surely it will be tough to start out an insanely important season without the man most responsible for keeping the pocket clean, but hopefully that means Drew Brees' will be lint-free by mid-season. Until then, the recently added reinforcements will just have to prove why they were picked up in the first place. Either that, or some of Malcolm Butler money could go to Nick Mangold. Apparently Draymond Green Has No Respect For Dirty Players Like Kelly Olynyk (i.e. Himself)5/8/2017
Ain't that just a damn shame. With all that talking Draymond Green is always doing, I would have assumed that the one thing he absolutely didn't lack was an inflated sense of self. I've always gotten the impression that not even Draymond's mother loves Draymond as much as Draymond loves Draymond, so I find the fact that he has no respect for himself to be quite alarming. Might be time to get the most outspoken player in the NBA to a sports psychologist, because if what he said on 'The Dray Day' podcast is true then his overwhelmingly braggadocious persona is all just one huge facade. I never thought I would see the day that Dray would come clean (for once) and admit that his cockiness is just a front for the insecurities that serve as the impetus behind his cock kicking. It's sad, really. The emotional leader of the Golden State Warriors has became so unsure of who he is at heart that he's openly conceding that he deeply and truly despises all that he has become. I mean, if he can't respect a role player with limited talent who sets a hard screen from time to time then how much disdain must he harbor for himself after he attempts to leave opposing players impotent and/or concussed? Oh whoops, nevermind. Draymond isn't "dirty". He's just "tricky". That's actually the perfect explanation. You'd have to be a goddamn magician to repeatedly target the most sensitive area of the male body so many times that you eventually got suspended from an NBA Finals game for it without actually hurting people...
Let's take a gander at what the NBA equivalent of David Blain has hidden in that proverbial top hat of his...
Look, I don't think an unfortunate on-screen graphic that was definitely conjured up by someone that is so unfamiliar with the NHL that they legitimately still don't think they made a mistake can affect the outcome of postseason hockey games. I doubt you do either. Perhaps it's not the greatest of omens, but if the Nashville Predators fail to get through to the Stanley Cup Finals it won't because someone did a crappy job trying to cram in some limited hockey knowledge just prior to the playoffs. However, it's not the worst excuse to have in your back pocket. If P.K. Subban and the boys come crashing back down to Earth next round then at least they can say the unseen forces of a prognostic television headline is what meteor'd their chances. They would never do that and most would roll their eyes if they did, but it's still better than accepting that your historical season came to an end on your own accord. We're a long way from that happening because they look like they'll be the favorite to come out of the Western Conference, but - if they don't - Smashville can direct their ire at the local television affiliate that jinked their dreams by failing to employ a staff member that knows what icing is.
CFT- In a statement released via Twitter on Friday, Jay Paterno confirmed that he had been elected to serve on Penn State’s board of trustees. The Centre Daily Times reports he was the top vote-getter in elections and was one of three people elected to the nine seats on the board reserved for alumni.
Paterno is a former quarterback for the Nittany Lions and later coached under his father Joe Paterno, the school’s legendary but tarnished coach. Both were shown the door by the school’s board back in 2012 following revelations in the Jerry Sandusky child sexual abuse scandal. The election of Jay Paterno is bound to open up more wounds at the school as he’s been an outspoken critic about how the school has handled his father’s legacy and what he did or did not know about Sandusky over the years. It’s even more interesting because the younger Paterno has been involved in several lawsuits against the school over the years as fallout from the matter as well. ------- At this point there is almost nothing - short of opening an under-15 nudist colony next to their practice field - that Penn State could do to honor the memory of a long time enabler of child molestation that would surprise me. The fact that his son was elected to the Board of Trustees for a university whose predatory grounds his father used to protect was about as shocking as the fact that he was certain enough of his daddy's "innocence" to take excessive legal action against that very same university. The seemingly unanimous decision to ignore the obvious conflict of interest (never mind marginalize the mental and physical harm his legacy indirectly did to dozens upon dozens of kids) is as tone deaf as it gets, but - in fairness - Penn State has never given any inclination that they keep their ear to the streets. Need proof of that? Look no further than Jay Paterno posting his acceptance letter on social media as though it were something that was going to be met with anything other than outrage. This fucking guy acted like he was addressing his proud constituents when all he was doing was throwing himself on the mercy of the most ruthless of courts - the court of online opinion. I suppose you could make the argument that he trying to get out ahead of the backlash by announcing it before it eventually came out anyway, but I hesitate to give anyone from that campus-wide cult any sort of benefit of the doubt. That "thank you" note reads like the person who wrote it thought he was going to step away from the metaphorical mic to a chorus of applause. I know that Penn State and the Paterno family will never quite "get" the magnitude of their negligence, but - for Christ's sake - is it too much to ask them not to be negligent to the moral code of literally everyone else in the world? I know this is a dangerous thing to request given their history, but lie to me Penn State. Just fucking lie to me. Add the face of everything that is wrong with your university to your Board of Trustees internally. FaceTime him in when there's a decision that needs botching. It's not like you haven't been able to keep far more incriminating secrets in the past. I've honestly become so desensitized to the school-wide stupidity that the thing that bothered me the most about this news was that Jay Paterno - himself - delivered it like it was a goddamn State Of The Union.
I'm not sure that there is a subtle way to attempt to slice someone's carotid artery with a sharpened blade of steel, but Ziga Jeglic found just about the least subtle way to do so. Never mind a two game suspension, he should have two games added to a lifetime suspension for not even having the decency to make his attempt at murder look like an accident. They say some people are more likely to wear their emotions on their face than others, and the Slovenian forward that made the intent of Happy Gilmore's skate stabbing incident seem questionable by comparison is the most likely. If you had just showed me a headshot of the kicker in question then I would have assumed that dude was hacking up a body, and it turns out I wouldn't have been all that far off. Maybe it sounds like I am overstating what happened here, but I doubt you would be saying that if Thomas Rufenacht's neck was turned into a Halloween-themed fountain. Man, after watching this I can't help but wonder whether or not Slovenia is schooled enough in the rules of hockey to perform on the international stage. Forget a two game suspension, the whole country should receive a two year suspension until they learn to keep their potentially fatal feet to themselves. Consider this, if one of their first line scoring threats can't change lines without trying to decapitate someone then what kind of threat does their end-of-the-bench enforcer pose? I think it's safe to say that throat slitting isn't part of the game, but - if it were - it certainly wouldn't be carried out by the more skilled players. Not only is Slovenia out there sending anthrax-level messages, but they aren't even using the proper carriers. Oh well, at least the NHL is temporarily off the hook. If I were one of Gary Boatman's cronies I would make sure this video is run before every single playoff game from now through the Stanley Cup Finals. Everything in life is relative, and - relatively speaking - the 'Department of Player Safety' can't possibly bungle a decision worse than the IIHF did by giving a guy a two game suspension for failing in his "This is SPARTA!"-style on-ice execution. Want to get people to view the hit that nearly scrambled the brains of Sidney Crosby in a more understanding light? Make sure this clip always accompanies it in the broadcast.
How many points are we awarding for candor here? I know it's not enough to make up the series-long differential between the Cavaliers and the Raptors, but I still think honesty should net you something. That "something" probably isn't so much as a modicum of respect when you are a star player that just finished the first year of a 5 year, $139 million dollar contact and are publicly conceding a series that quickly turned into a clinic as if you never stood a chance in the first place. I don't know, maybe we can gift DeMar DeRozan a hug or a shoulder to cry on? After all, the truth hurts, and I can't imagine there's a more painful realization than a professional basketball player coming to terms with his inability to lead his team to even one single victory against a specific member of the opposition. To be 100% right and also so incredibly wrong is a familiar feeling that I don't envy, but - given these circumstances - it's also not one I can sympathize with. I'm a big fan of full disclosure, but "if the guy that we can't seem to stop was on our team then we would beat the other team that relies heavily on his efforts" is a tad too obvious as far as declarative retorts are concerned. If there was even one single person on the planet that wasn't keenly aware of his self disparaging words then I might be able rationalize DeMar DeRozan's unintentional indictment of his own team. Alas, you don't exactly have to be Gregg Popovich to know that it's better to have LeBron James than not have LeBron James. Semantically, I guess this quote would have to be considered an example of "keeping it real", but it's an example that Dave Chappelle would have instantly cut from his script due to a lack of irony and a wealth of self pity. Just when you thought the Toronto Raptors season couldn't have ended in more depressing fashion their All Star shooting guard hits the podium to tell their rabid fanbase that it was basically all-but-over the first time they looked across the court and saw LeBron James. Historically speaking, he's definitely not incorrect but I'd love to see him try to explain how correct he is to the person paying his salary. Question Of The Day: How Quickly Would LeBron James Have Disposed Of The Raptors If He Played Lefty?5/8/2017
It's officially the biggest "what if?" of these NBA Playoffs. "What if Donald Sterling didn't stick a pin in his Blake Griffin voodoo doll?" had a good run, "what if reporters stopped needling Isaiah Thomas about the most tragic moment of his life?" is still inconclusive, and "what if the Toronto Raptors has any respect for themselves?" is now a legitimate head scratcher. Still, it's tough to argue against "what if young LeBron came in from hurling basketballs at a rickety hoop as if he were performing soccer throw-ins only to catch the Bulls game and decide to dedicate his handedness to Toni Kukoc instead of Michael Jordan?" as the most intriguing question of the postseason. How quickly would the best player in the NBA have gotten the Toronto Raptors the fuck up outta here if he made the childhood choice to shoot like Nick Van Exel instead of Penny Hardaway? LeBron James doesn't do some things better with one hand and other things better with his other hand like a significant portion of the population. No, no, no. He's simply a lefty that is honoring his commitment to those that came before him by trying to match Jordan's championship total with his off-hand. Some say that choosing what hand to do something with is instinctual, but - as far as LeBron James is concerned - it was a memorial issue since before he could even tie his own shoes. In all seriousness, that whole spiel about making a conscious choice on what hand to use in performing a fundamental act of athleticism is pretty representative of the reason people hate LeBron James. Some may still grasp tightly to how turned off they were by 'The Decision', but the truth of the matter is that he just makes it impossible to relate to him. I suppose I shouldn't expect to have too much in common with someone who was so good at a sport that he had television cameras at his high school games. It makes total sense that he thinks he's different than literally every other human being on Earth, because he's been treated that way since he was a teenager. That said, his inability to be like "yeah, I practice shooting lefty a lot, and I figured the waning stages of a third straight blowout against downright pathetic competition was a good time to see if it's truly paid off" makes it very difficult to take him seriously. He sat there looking like Indiana Jones and sounding like he was simply one ambidextrous role model away from putting Michael Redd's picturesque jumper to shame for a full minute. I don't even doubt that a talent of his caliber could play in the NBA with his off-hand, but I'll be damned if I can keep a straight face when he tries to convince me that he's been doing it his whole career.
I don't want to make it sound like I can't sympathize with the emotional impotence that left Peter Chiarelli's entire upper body limp. I think anyone that has ever been fully invested in a contending team's Stanley Cup run has dealt with disappointment so shocking that looking up at the world no longer seemed like a viable option. Giving up a three goal lead in almost exactly three minutes with those three minutes being the final three minutes of regulation in the most pivotal game of the series is certainly an extreme example of the bipolar unpredictability of the NHL postseason. Still, I truly think it's something Oilers' fans needed to experience. Things had simply been too easy for them up to this point. Some might say that Edmonton has dealt with enough misery over the last decade, but there's a distinct difference between misery and heartbreak. Before you-know-who arrived, the Oilers' faithful were basically resigned to failure. They were a dead horse beaten excessively into a state of prolonged depression by the laughable deficiencies of their franchise. Now that horse is alive and kicking, and it has to re-learn what it feels like to abruptly have the reigns yanked back while running at full speed. I don't think I am going out on too far of a limb by assuming that Connor McDavid might make another playoff appearance or two, so the people that are counting on him needed to realize that even the best fall down sometimes. It's not sorrowful regular seasons that makes the glory that much more satisfying, it's the pain from the most unlikely of crushing playoff defeats. To borrow the timeless words of 'Chumbawamba', you have to get knocked down to get back up again, and its tough to get knocked down when you're at rock bottom for umpteenth time in a row. On a side note, I am so glad this wasn't called goaltender interference....
That's not to say that it wasn't, but it is to say that calling it as such would have zapped the spirit of playoff hockey right from it's very soul. Ryan Kesler may have been doing what Ryan Kesler does, but there is nothing more invigorating than the all-out chaos surrounding the mess of bodies that are characteristic of late game desperation. The Oilers had plenty of chances to get out of there with a win, and Cam Talbot had enough of a chance to stop the all too important puck that sent the game to overtime. Maybe that goal is overturned if it's scored with 8 minutes left in the second period, but you can't overturn it during a point in the game when Edmonton would have gladly stretched the rules to keep from going to an extra session. A Brazilian Soccer Player Was Arrested On The Field For Kidnapping And Extorting A 67 Year Old Woman5/5/2017
TheComeback-You would think someone wanted on four arrest warrants would keep a low profile. But Brazilian soccer player Marlon Nataneal de Lima Alexandre decided to keep on playing for Sapucaiense in the Campeonato Gaúcho Second Division.
During a match on Wednesday, police showed up while Lima was sitting on the reserve bench, promptly cuffing him and taking him into custody. According to Gaúcha, a local news outlet, Lima allegedly participated in a violent kidnapping of a 67-year-old woman in October. The perpetrators held her at gunpoint outside a mall and then spent about $1,400 on her credit cards. Police had trouble tracking down Lima until they learned he played for Sapucaiense. Club president José Luis Rech Cristianetti said he was unaware of Lima’s past and called the arrest “a sad surprise,” according to Gaúcha. -------- You know what, I'm glad this guy got cuffed on the field in front of everyone. Obviously he deserved it after racking up his 4th different arrest warrant by kidnapping a grandmother, but that's not even the point. The point is that a regular, behind-the-scenes jailing wouldn't have been nearly shameful enough for someone that couldn't even properly extort a 67 year old woman for $1,400. They should have pulled his pants down at mid-field and let Ms. Daisy walk out with her wooden spoon to give him one whack on the bum for each dollar stolen. Marlon Nataneal de Lima Alexandre (say that 5 times fast) deserved all that embarrassment and then some. The only thing more pathetic than kidnapping a senior citizen - for what has to be considered chump change relative to the crime - is not even having the decency to do it well. Do you know how much intimidation you have to lack for an old lady to walk straight down to la estacion de policia after having a semi-professional backup soccer player hold a gun to her head? All of it. All the intimidation. These idiots tried to pick the low hanging fruit and still bit of more than they could chew. How are you going to threaten the life of someone whose a few years away from needing help crossing the street and still not be able to keep her goddamn mouth shut? Not only is that a ringing endorsement of how fearless women are while shopping is at stake, but it's an indictment of the scare tactics of the saddest kidnappers of all time who still got busted after having the gall to push aside a women's AARP card to empty her bank account. Gee, I Wonder Why Malcolm Butler "Badly" Wanted To Become A Member Of The New Orleans Saints?5/5/2017 LBS- Butler reported to the Patriots’ offseason program this week, but Mike Giardi of CSNNE.com reports that the 27-year-old “badly” wanted to be traded.
“He wanted to be traded,” Giardi said Thursday. “He knew what the money was in New Orleans. So when we talk about him, ‘Oh he’s happy. It’s nice that he’s joined his teammates again.’ He had no other choice. “He wanted New Orleans. He wanted them badly. They couldn’t work out a deal. So what’s he supposed to do now? Sit at home? No, you suck it up. You have to turn yourself back into a Patriot at least for a year, and hope. Who knows, maybe you do your work and maybe they say, ‘Hey, Malcolm, you know what, we can’t give you (Stephon) Gilmore money. But maybe we can find something. Maybe we’ve got $10 or $11 million.” ---- Man oh man, it's only May and I feel like I should already be kneeling bedside begging for Marshon Lattimore's road to success not to encounter too many detours. I was absolutely ecstatic that he trickled all the way down to #11, but the mood could change quickly if his learning curve is hamstrung by...well...you get it. I don't really give a crap that Malcolm Butler "badly" wanted to be a Saint because that's the same thing as saying that he badly wanted his salary to increase by approximately 300% over the next four years. I'd "badly" want to be custodian if I was going to make that kind of bank mopping up crap, so - unless he's seen rocking a Fleur De Lis around Foxboro - you can flush his love for the city right down the shitter I would gladly clean for 12.5 million dollars a year. Still, if the pass defense doesn't improve greatly then not giving up a draft pick or two for a proven commodity at corner will fill Sunday nights with even more scaries than normal. I have a feeling it will due to my unbridled optimism and a couple of highlight videos that definitely don't overly glorify the skill sets of the defensive backs the Saints picked up in the first two rounds. Let's hope that feeling is rooted somewhere in reality or remembering that a top ten shutdown corner in NFL was dying to come to New Orleans (i.e. get paid) will serve as quite the twisting of the knife. The draft fell just right so trading their way into a massive cap hit didn't make much sense, but - considering Drew Brees age and contractual status - they better hope beyond hope that they don't end up being wrong. They had the cards and they decided to hold them, which is fine as long as their ace in the hole ends up winning them the hand.
To be quite honest, I'm struggling to understand why Claude Giroux looks so pissed off. He can wipe that scowl right off his face and Czech himself, because those Fly-by fisticuffs were a result of his own damn negligence. Maybe I could understand why he would be upset after having someone who is usually his teammate reach out and sucker punch him right in the kisser for no apparent reason during a relatively meaningless international tournament...if that teammate was anyone other than Radko Gudas. I watched this clip and my first question was whether or not Claude Giroux can still be trusted in his own end of the ice, because his defensive awareness is clearly starting to wane. If there is anyone - and I mean anyone - that should know a fist to the face is coming when within a one arm radius of Radko Gudas then it's a guy that watches him do similar shit during upwards of 75 (give or a take a few for suspension) Flyers games per year. Surely this altercation will be held over his head come training camp, but once the season starts the same crap will be celebrated by the victim who just found out what's it like to get Broad Street Bullied. As far as I am concerned, this is just one of those unfortunate situations where you (literally) have to bite your tongue and accept that you could have done a better job keeping yourself out of harm's way- even if all you did was casually skate within the general vicinity of your resident goon. At this point in his career it's no longer Radko Gudas responsibility to be aware of whose mug he's bashing, and that's largely because he's been encouraged to illegally target any and all members of the opposition by the guy that serves as his captain throughout a vast majority of the calendar. Claude Giroux was at least partially liable in creating this monster, so it's not ridiculous to expect him to keep his head on a swivel and avoid it's wrath. Maybe licking away a little blood from inside his lower lip will make the light bulb go on and Claude Giroux will finally realize that taking a bunch dumbass penalties doesn't help win NHL games either. Eh, who am I kidding? We'll be looking at the same old self-inflicting Flyers once they get back to Philadelphia. At least they stopped impregnating each other's sisters. Baby steps, I guess. |
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