Can We Get Team USA Basketball A Babysitter Before They Accidentally Wander Into The Wrong Brothel?

TMZ- Several Team USA hoops stars made a bonehead move in a foreign land -- thinking they were walking into a spa that turned out to be a whorehouse.

DeAndre Jordan, DeMarcus "Boogie" Cousins, DeMar Derozan and possibly 3 other players went out on the town Wednesday night in Rio and strolled into Termas Monte Carlo ... which Rolling Stone called "one of the high end brothels in Rio."

When you call the place, they'll tell you it's a spa that plays music ... and it's just for male customers. Oh, and they have a full bar.

A source close to the team tells us the players got the standard line, so they assumed it was kosher. The source said, "They realized it wasn't the right place for them and immediately left."



I'm inclined to say that DeAndre Jordan, DeMarcus Cousins, and Demar DeRozan aren't stupid enough to casually wander into that shady looking "establishment" on a Wednesday night thinking it was nothing more than a 'Male Only' day spa. However, the only thing dumber would be them collectively deciding to check out the prostitution scene in a country that's about as safe as a pool of Magic Johnson's blood. Therefore, I have no choice but to believe that they followed a cultural barrier straight through the doors of a Brazilian whorehouse.

Which really begs the question, where the hell is their babysitter? Isn't this the exact reason we got a bunch of 20-something year old multimillionaires their own yacht? To avoid situations like this? Letting a bunch of NBA players run loose in Rio is like letting your kids go play outside without a jacket during a frigid rainstorm. They are undoubtedly going to come back caked in crap and riddled with diseases. It's just part of their nature. I'm all for them taking in the culture of a foreign country, but if they can't be trusted to avoid a "spa" that has an emergency exit garage door than maybe they should have a bilingual chaperone with them. Not saying they can't take care of themselves, but...uhh...shit, maybe I am saying they can't take care of themselves because there isn't a more dangerous place for a bunch of distinguishably wealthy athletes that stick out like a sore thumb than a cathouse in South America. Do we have to fly out Kyrie's boating Becky's so that we can keep some of the most talented players in the world from putting themselves in situations precarious enough to give Adam Silver a heart attack?