Dwight Howard Only Wants Positive Rockets Fans To Show Up To Golden State

Dwight Howard on #rockets Game 5 in Oakland: "If you don’t believe you can win, stay in Houston. Don’t get on the plane."

— Michael Lee (@MrMichaelLee) April 25, 2016

I'll tell you what, whatever world Dwight Howard is living in doesn't sound half bad. That egregious large grin he constantly walks around with is a testament to that. In Dwight's world you can just impregnate as many women as you want without taking responsibility. You can make tens of millions to play a sport but only try when you feel like it. Dwight's world doesn't have any silly rules like the regulation of foreign substances such as stick'um. Hell, in Dwight's world there are thousands of dedicated Rockets fans boarding planes to fly out to Northern California with the hopes that they will see their depressing, enigmatic team put forth a winning effort. Happy Gilmore's 'Happy Place' can eat it's heart out, because it appears that Dwight's world is the most euphoric fictional destination in all of the land. 

I'm not saying that no Rockets fans will travel out to Golden State for Game 5. I'm just saying their isn't one single Rockets fan that is doing so with the idea that they are going to win. The people traveling across the country to watch this Rockets team can be broken down into two groups. Self loathing masochists, and people whose houses were damaged by the flood that need to get away during the repairs. That's not even a flood joke. The only way I can see someone paying to travel for a team that looked like their dog died when James Harden won them a game and forced THEM to travel is if they hate themselves or if they literally don't have a place to go home to at the moment. Dwight Howard thinking that this insufferable Rockets team has enough jet setting fans to tell the negative ones to stay home might be the craziest thing he has ever said, and that's an accomplishment in itself. As an eternal optimist I would probably only have Game 5 on television as background noise if I were a Rockets fan. Never mind paying to watch them quit on themselves in person. In fact, the only thing that would make me consider going would be the defiance of Dwight's authority, and I would boo his ass off the court when I got there. ​