I Didn't See It Coming, But Aaron Hernandez' Suicide Probably Should Have Been Predictable

Aaron Hernandez "hanged himself utilizing a bedsheet that he attached to his cell window": pic.twitter.com/Pi2MHnYXXk

— Adam Schefter (@AdamSchefter) April 19, 2017

Aaron Hernandez’s suicide comes five days after he was acquitted of murdering two men in Boston in 2012 https://t.co/YCUchAn88m pic.twitter.com/6Y1fRBtQ0e

— The Boston Globe (@BostonGlobe) April 19, 2017

It's a storybook ending! I mean, it's probably the type of storybook you'd keep locked in your nightstand away from your children, but doesn't everyone just want to end their career with a huge, wildly unexpected win? Aaron Hernandez' career was in killing people, and getting acquitted of a double murder that he absolutely, no-doubt-about-it committed was his "riding off into the sunset" moment. He didn't want to retire from life, but he did so because it wasn't going to get any better from here on out. Not since the swan songs of Ray Bourque and John Elway have we seen someone so skilled in their field leave it forever after reaching the pinnacle of their profession. Let's face it, winning a championship with the Patriots wouldn't have been the culmination of Aaron Hernandez' life's work. As the least inconspicuous cold-blooded murderer ever, getting a jury of his peers to exonerate him was. Aaron Hernandez defied all logic and his own inability to be unassuming by getting cleared of homicidal charges in a way that makes Peyton Manning winning a Super Bowl with a noodle arm appear ho-hum. Simply put, Aaron Hernandez went out on top...and by that I don't mean he was elevated from the floor when he took his last breathe. 

In all seriousness - while suicide is far too complicated to just be considered "the coward's way out" - Aaron Hernandez is a huge coward for committing suicide. He lasted five whole days without having another trial to look forward to before he ended it all? Couldn't even suffer the consequences of his  criminal actions or accept his inevitable fate for a full work week before opting out on life? I feel horrible for his daughter, but - let's be honest - she's better off without the lessons taught to her from behind the glass by a psychopath that's exhausted literally every excuse in an effort to free himself of responsibility. Assuming there was no foul play here (and that's probably a pretty sizable assumption), going to court was basically Aaron Hernandez' version of a complete bender of a weekend. When he no longer had that to look forward to, the harsh reality of his meaningless, monotonous life set in and he couldn't handle it. He's legitimately better off dead, because he certainly wasn't prepared to be an adult.

That being said, I do appreciate his devotion to officially being declared an innocent man. He may have lost to a bed sheet, but he technically beat the judicial system. The phrase "I would go to my grave for (such-and-such)" gets tossed around a lot, but - Jesus Christ - Aaron Hernandez literally died to rid himself of his sins...

Hernandez suicide while Lloyd case on appeal vacates conviction for Lloyd's death. Not a convicted murderer in death. Odd twist.

— MichaelCoyne (@DeanCoyne) April 19, 2017