It looks like I owe President Obama an apology. I don't know exactly when it happened, but at some point over the course of the last 8 years I began to take him for granted. Nothing has brought that to my attention quite like the difference between this speech and the current campaigns being run by the inmates that are fighting for the chance to turn America into their own personal asylum. I'm not saying that Barack Obama was the greatest President to ever grace a podium. I'm sure he's not as bad as every bumper sticker south of the Mason Dixon line would make him seem, but he surely had his flaws. Those flaws, however, were masked by an inherent ability to sound confident. There were certainly plenty of moments in which he had no idea what the fuck he was doing, but he always managed to make it sound like he did. As someone that doesn't follow politics remotely as close as I should, that's all I really need. Someone in charge that's going to make me feel like everything is going to be alright - even if it's not.
Can you imagine Hilary Clinton trying to comfort us with comedy? How about Donald Trump trying to be a calming, assimilating figure during a period of racial unrest? I wouldn't trust Bernie Sanders to read me a full bedtime story without beating me to sleep. Ted Cruz can't even recite classic movie lines without putting his fat foot in his own awkwardly smirking mouth. Meanwhile, Barack Obama is up there charming the pants off the public with what can only be described as a swag reserved for - well - black people. Watching a bunch of old white people - male and female - try to talk me into believing in them has only reinforced the idea that once you go black you never go back... without ending up incredibly disappointed. If only Ben Carson's opinions, personality, and general disposition matched his skin color then we wouldn't have to worry about the uneasiness that comes with any caucasian leader not nicknamed 'Slick Willy'. I know Barry was just up there roasting the room because he has nothing to lose and it was one of his last opportunities to say "IDGAF", but I'll be damned if he didn't remind me that I didn't know what I had until it was all but gone.