I have never owned a pool or lived anywhere that had a pool. However, there are two things I am absolutely certain of when it comes to pool ownership. They are a pain in the ass to maintain and you never get as much use out of them as you think you will. Now you throw a kid into the mix and you begin to realize that children become infatuated with things for short periods of time and then forget about them completely. You think this pool is any different? That kid is going to want to go to 'the pool' everyday for two months then never want to set foot in it again. Partially because he'll get tired of it and partially with age he will realize he's playing at a grave sight. Enjoy skimming that bad boy when it hasn't gotten use in five years. Hope they sell Barbie size pool covers.
I have to imagine someone that builds a body of water on top of a loved one's grave still has his passing fresh in their mind. The last thing you want to do when mourning someone is constantly be reminded of them. The most painful part of the grieving process is the initial part, and the initial part is when this kid is going to want to get the most use out of his new 'toy'. In theory, it's a very sweet idea. Absolutely had all the right intentions. In practice, it is probably going to suck to have to take your child swimming at the graveyard three times a week. I don't want to criticize this too much because like I said, it's a cute concept. However, it is a little creepy, no? Isn't a child playing in a burial pool eerily reminiscent of dancing on a grave? I understand celebrating a life instead of mourning a death, but shouldn't the atmosphere at a cemetery be a little more somber? After all, you might offend people that didn't bring their swimmies looking for a pool party.
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Boston Globe- After saying that Rondo was out indefinitely with a back injury sustained before he was benched in a Game 2 loss to Houston, coach Rick Carlisle acknowledged Wednesday that Rondo will not play another game for Dallas. Rondo came in a December trade with Boston and had a shouting match with Carlisle on the court that resulted in a one-game suspension in February. In Game 2, he was pulled after picking up his third and fourth fouls guarding James Harden early in the third quarter, and getting a technical after one of the calls. While Carlisle could have hidden behind foul trouble as the reason for yet another ineffective game from the player acquired to try to boost Dallas’ playoff prospects, the coach changed everything by leaving Rondo on the bench for good. The two quick fouls were puzzling, but paled compared to Rondo inexplicably getting called for an eight-second backcourt violation while walking the ball up the court in the first half. His poor defense right after the call led to an easy 3-pointer for Jason Terry. ‘I understand that the announcement that’s been made is going to have different interpretations,’’ Carlisle said Wednesday. ‘‘I am giving you our interpretation of it, and this is fact. From here, we’re moving forward. We've got a series to win and we've got to win Game 3 with the guys that are available.’’ But when asked if the free agent-to-be would wear a Dallas uniform again, Carlisle said, ‘‘No, I don't.’’ That's a serious question. I saw someone write that Rajon Rondo 'opted out' of the playoffs and it couldn't be more true. Just flat out did not show up, and when he did, he put absolute zero effort into winning. The guy got an 8 second call for walking up the ball too slow without facing any pressure whatsoever. That is unheard of. He basically asked the official to give him a technical for pushing James Harden when Harden wasn't even acknowledging his existence. If Tim Donaghy got imprisoned for fixing games then you could make the argument that Rondo should be as well. A player not even attempting to win is as detrimental to the outcome of the game as biased officiating. I mean, it's one thing to tank for a draft pick, but for a starting point guard to not even attempt to play hard in the playoffs is boggling my competitive mind. Hey Rajon, you want to hate your boss? By all means you are entitled to that. A lot of people hate their boss and still perform their job adequately, and most of those people aren't making MILLIONS of dollars a year. Gee I wonder who is wrong here. The head coach with the championship pedigree, or the guy who got traded from a place where he couldn't get along with another coach who had a championship pedigree? Pretty ill advised to show the world that you don't care about your coach, your team, or your own perception when you are set to be unemployed in a week. Like even if Rondo played awful, but still looked like he cared, he still wouldn't have cost himself that much money on the open market. However, what is a starting point guard that doesn't like to listen or care about winning worth? Even if a team is completely desperate for a point guard that can't make a 15 foot jumper or a foul shot, what kind of monetary commitment would they be willing to give to a person that has shown no allegiance to anyone but himself? Furthermore, how does he even walk into that locker room? How do his peers not literally kill him? A bunch of guys that have worked their ass off their entire life to play at the highest level, and some entitled little alien looking motherfucker is going to jeopardize their chances of winning a championship? Do you understand how much an entire franchise has to hate a player to completely fabricate a season ending injury that doesn't exist? Do you realize how confident a coach has to be to say that a player has played his last game as a member of a team when said team still employs him? I don't care how good Rajon Rondo is at basketball. This may be the most egregious circumstance of an athlete's personality having a bearing on his bank account in sports history. Well, It's about damn time someone shone light on the mistreatment of homeless people. I always find myself with an extra spring roll and I'm all like "if only there was a less fortunate person walking around this restaurant that I could give this to". It's a serious problem these days. Homeless people can't even get in to swanky LA spots when they show up in Salvation Army's finest pushing a fucking shopping cart. Just when I thought the world couldn't have anymore problems, the people that constantly beg for change and make you feel uncomfortable can't get a seat at a 5-star restaurant.
Alright so, are we supposed to be outraged because a homeless person can't get a table, or because some one who looks homeless can't get a table? They are both equally as stupid, but at least give me a legitimate cause here. Gee, I wonder why a restaurant would not want someone that shows up with dirt on their face to eat at their dining establishment. Pretty simple explanation here. If you can't afford a clean shirt or a motor vehicle you probably can't afford a $30 lobster tail. Shit, even if the person that this guy is pretending to be could afford lunch there, it's probably a pretty shitty investment. Consider it a favor that a restaurant won't let you waste 100% of your money on one lunch. How about you go hit the dollar menu and save up for a bicycle? How about you grab yourself a bottle of water and wash your face off? You know what's pretty good way to get turned down from eating at a restaurant? Show up looking like you can't afford to eat there and asking "can I eat here?". You know why? Because normal fucking people never ask that. It's pretty much an unspoken agreement that a restaurant does have food for you if you have the means to pay for it. Even when you asked that question as you the guy was like "uhhh, yeah sure dude. You can eat here. We are a restaurant after all." Hey Josh, want to make a difference? How about you sell a rim and buy a homeless person lunch. How about you return that bastardly haircut and cloth a homeless person. Ehh, never mind. Making people aware of a problem (that isn't really a problem at all), is way easier than being part of the solution. Let me ask you a question Josh. If looking like you have money shouldn't matter, why the fuck are you dressed in all white driving a Ferrari? Campus Reform- Students at California Polytechnic University recently held a “shit-in” to teach their peers about gender neutral bathrooms
Last Tuesday, members of Cal Poly’s Queer Student Union began circulating a petition requesting that the university add “Gender Diversity” signs to existing “all-gender bathrooms” on campus. Tuesday also kicked off the group’s three-day “shit-in” during which students were encouraged to only use gender neutral bathrooms on campus. “Put yourself in the shoes of a trans*/gender non-conforming student and take the pledge to use only all gender bathrooms,” states the group’s Facebook. According to the petition, the public university in San Luis Obispo, Calif. currently has seventeen all-gender bathrooms, but only five are “reasonably accessible, leaving non-cisgender students with a paltry amount of options when it comes to using the bathroom.” “When we’re talking about inclusive practices, policies and facilities for transgender and non-gender-conforming students, one of the first things that comes up is access to restrooms,” QSU’s club adviser Adam Serafin told Cal Poly’s Mustang News. “And what’s behind that is access to a safe place to use a restroom. Somewhere that is emotionally safe, but also physically safe for students.” In addition to encouraging students to sign their petition, QSU members constructed a mock toilet in the school’s University Union Thursday that was accompanied by a large sign stating “we’ve got shit to deal with.” Passersby who were asked to sign the toilet in support of all-gender bathrooms wrote a range of messages including, but not limited to: “Get your shit together, Cal Poly” and “Poop equality.” Event organizers advised non-transgender students to “check [their] potty privilege” and carried around signs that declared “going to the bathroom shouldn’t be a source of anxiety.” “Gendered bathrooms pose a threat to the emotional and physical well-being of this demographic, and often force awkward and uncomfortable encounters for non-cisgender identifying students,” the group’s petition explained. I have got to imagine this is the kind of thing that Rosa Parks had in mind when she refused to move to the back of the bus. The very same intentions of courageous African Americans when they hosted sit-ins at all white restaurants and faced discriminatory violence from the majority. I would think that Susan B. Anthony dedicated her life not only to a women's right to vote, but for a transsexuals right to feel cozy while shitting in public. So let me get this straight? Tens of thousands of students are supposed to regulate where they go to bathroom to like five places on campus so that people of gender neutrality have a comfortable restroom experience? I can tell you one thing that I don't find comfortable. Walking around with my asshole clenched because there is not a genderless bathroom in sight. Hope you're happy trannies. Some poor soul is shitting his pants in 'Political Science' because the closest co-ed bathroom is in the west wing. Are flower beds and the side of buildings considered genderless? You think I'm waiting in a 5 minute line to piss you are beside your mind. I have a quaint idea. Instead of having thousands of students use only a handful of bathrooms, how about we just make every bathroom genderless? I'll tell you the first place I am going. Straight to the ladies room. I am claiming my spot on that throne amongst the smell of potpourri and the sounds of women's beauty tips. Seriously, if the 'non-gender conforming' want bathrooms they can have ours. Men's public bathrooms are like a literal war zone. Women always wonder why their lines are so long while men's are so short, and the answer is easy. Men want in and out of that hell hole as fast as possible. Women take group trips to the bathroom because they can spend a couple genuinely enjoyable minutes in there gossiping. Meanwhile in the men's bathroom I would prefer no use of any of my senses. Going to a men's bathroom is like cliff diving. Close your eyes and pray for the best. If a bunch of 'Pats' don't feel comfortable taking a dump in a public bathroom then they already have far more in common with men than they realize. P.S. The whole world is literally going to shit, pun intended. Atlanta HawKs Coach Gives Lengthy Tribute To Mentor Gregg Popovich After Winning 'Coach Of The Year'4/22/2015
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At the risk of sounding ignorant, I have a question. Did Greg Popovic die? I mean, I know he is killing my playoff spirit by intentionally fouling DeAndre Jordan everytime down the floor, but did he croak along with it? That's the only explanation for this, right? Since when is thank you not enough? Couldn't you just send a gift basket or something? I know that Budenholzer owes a lot of success to the mentorship of Greg Popovich, but Jesus Christ, get it together man. His eyes were glassier than the house Donald Sterling throws stones from. They were were swelling up faster than Aron Baynes broken ego. There's no crying in basketball. Especially not during April. Did Pop save your kitten from a tree? Did he revive your dying grandmother? Hey Mike, you might have to actually play against the guy whose pregame eulogy you just gave. How do you expect other teams to take you seriously when you are waxing poetic about a man that you should consider competition? If you can't handle your emotions when accepting an award, how do you plan on making it through the grind of the NBA playoffs? You say Pop taught you everything, but I am starting question whether he taught you anything. Not sure there's ever been a time where Popovic didn't have the driest eyes in the building. Never let 'em see you sweat, and damn sure don't let 'em see you cry. That kindness you keep lauding on to Gregg Popovich are a little something he considers weakness. It's possible to show gratitude while still taking credit for your accomplishments. You won 60 games with the Atlanta Hawks for Christ's sake. You are all but guaranteed to sweep a pedestrian Brooklyn Nets team. You're on the verge of having more victories than fans. At least take one hand off Popovich's dick so you can give yourself a pat on the back. There's a difference between appreciation and adulation. The NBA playoffs are where amazing happens, not where admiring happens. Save the tears for when you hoist the Larry O'Brien trophy. You have all summer for Gregg Popovic to blankly stare at you while you worship the ground he walks on.
This was pretty damn cool though...
Who Can't Sympathize With This Guy That Put A Couple Bullets In His Malfunctioning Computer?4/22/2015
BBC- "He was having technology problems, so he took it to the back alley and destroyed it," a police spokesman said.
Lucas Hinch was briefly detained for discharging a firearm within the city. He did not realise he was breaking the law when he went "Wild West" on his machine, local media reported. A judge is due to decide what penalty he will receive. "He got tired of fighting with his computer for the last several months," police spokesman Jeff Strossner told the Colorado Springs Gazette. The paper said that Mr Hinch "shot the darn thing" when ctrl+alt+delete - the traditional method used to re-boot computers - "consistently did not work" on Monday evening. "He was able to wreak the kind of revenge most of us only dream about," the paper said. "The computer is not expected to recover." Hey, as convenient as technology is, it is equally as inconvenient when it's not working. We, as people and as employees, put virtually all of our faith and abilities in the hands on an eletronic machine. So when that machine decides it's not going to work, it's one of the most infuriating things that can happen to you. Shit, the closest I have been to fist fight in the last year is going a couple of rounds with a stubborn laptop. Remember long ago, in a land far, far away we used to use pens to transcribe our work? Remember what it was like when the fucking ink wouldn't come out of the pen and you had to switch surfaces, and shake the pen, and ended up slamming it on the desk and getting a new pen? Yeah, well we are no longer walking around with excess pens in our ears like 1970's accountants, and it's far harder to grab a new computer than a new stick of ink. Can you say with certainty that if you had a gun in your vicinity, like this dude inexplicably did, you wouldn't go full blown 'Aaron Hernandez' on a frozen screen? I've been within one involuntary twitch from launching my phone into oncoming traffic when I can't get service. We depend on these smart phones and computers because we are dumber than them. They don't have the authority to have an off day. They are supposed to be busy covering for all of our off days. So if our lives are made more cumbersome because a MacBook is feeling a little hungover it might require a little impact correction. Not sure I want to put it on life support with a couple shells to the torso, but what do I know. I don't carry a gun, and therefore don't know what it's like to think like a gun owner. However, I have heard that shooting a gun is empowering. Is that couple seconds of uninhibited joy worth the money that a new computer is going to cost? Well, that's just a question for another day. Let the man have his moment... DailyMail- A Tennessee high school's football coach was assaulted in his office Tuesday, allegedly by a student who'd inquired about trying out for the team.
Ron Aydelott, head coach for the Riverdale High School Warriors in Murfreesboro for nearly ten years, suffered serious facial injuries in the attack, which will require surgery. Witnesses said Aydelott in no way provoked the attack but that the 17-year-old alleged attacker became violent after he felt 'disrespected,' reports News Channel Five Network. 'He basically just got attacked,' principal Tom Nolan told the Daily News Journal. 'The kid just went nuts on him. Coach Aydelott was sitting down at his desk and the guy just kept whaling on him. 'He finally stopped. The kid then walked into the office, put his hands behind his back and surrendered.' The boy was reportedly in the coach's office in order to turn in paperwork concerning his trying out for the team. Wait just a god damn minute here. This isn't how it is supposed to work. I have watched enough high school football movies to pretty much be an expert on the subject. There's always a problem child that is denied the ability to join the team. He's not supposed to beat the coach within an inch of his life though. That's not in the script. He's supposed to change his attitude, get in the coaches good graces and lead the team to a State Championship, not turn the coach's office into a boiler room brawl. If 17 year old kids can just start beating their superiors when they tell them 'no' then I may have to pass up my calling as a high school football coach. It's a shame all that 'film study' is going to go to waste, but that's not what I signed up for. Coaches are supposed to feel comfortable when they mentor kids half their age and twice their size. Pretty sure it's in the sign-up form that even if your coach is a dick, or if what he says to you can be deciphered as 'disrespect', you have to swallow your pride. If that weren't the case Bear Bryant would have been skinned, tarred and feathered by his players. Harbaugh would still be looking for his teeth on the sidelines in Santa Clara. Did you even read the contract? Maybe he told you can't play for him because you weren't even able to abide by the first rule set forth in the paperwork; Don't beat the life out of the coach. Hell, if he wasn't right about dismissing you from the team before then he certainly is now. Hey kid, that aggressive nature of yours could actually translate pretty well to the football field. Maybe next time just pin the old ball coach against the wall and stop short of rearranging his face. I would have to imagine there is a place on a high school football team for a kid that can completely overpower a coach's old man Dad strength. Unfortunately, he's probably much more willing to help you channel that anger on an opposing player if he's not eating through a straw. Coaches, from the high school level on up, are willing to take chances on kids as long as they can help them win. Drilling a running back through the turf is a much more productive way of fostering your hostility than putting your potential coach on his death bed. Better luck next year though. Mercury News- The San Francisco 49ers are offering more than $15 million to park cars on a youth soccer park next to Levi's Stadium, but quite a few people in this Silicon Valley town are ready to flag the team for encroachment.
Opponents say losing the fields could cripple the popular Santa Clara Youth Soccer League, and that the payment isn't enough to buy land and construct new fields. "How many more concessions does the city have to make to the 49ers?" asked Tino Silva, the new president of the youth league. "This is the 49ers -- who are supposed to be good neighbors, keep their word and do what's right. This is everything but that." The NFL team is proposing a long-term deal to gain control of three publicly owned soccer fields next to Levi's Stadium. The team also wants the right to develop the 10-acre site for other uses, though it hasn't spelled them out. Wu Tang might be for the children, but the 49ers are decidedly not. Are we really surprised? Ray Rice got a two game suspension for damn near killing a woman. Mike Vick sent all dogs to heaven and ends up on a new team every year. The NFL doesn't care about dogs. They don't care about women. And they damn sure don't care about children. It's all about that bottom line baby. The poor kids, what are they going to do with their Sunday mornings now? Oh, I don't know, maybe pop on the tube and tune into some Sunday football? NFL games start at 10AM in California. There's no time for such things as going outside or exercising via healthy athletic competition. The NFL has got to fatten up some more young viewers so they become older, fatter, more loyal viewers as time goes by. Can't take the chance that Little Johnny turns that love of soccer into a lifelong passion for Sunday morning athletics. If were being honest I am surprised that the NFL hasn't bulldozed the entirety of South America. Back up the trucks, turn Europe into a parking lot. Can't have kids out kicking balls around grass fields when they are supposed to be working themselves into the shape of another dollar in the NFL's wallet. The only futbol clubs that kids should be worried about employ a bunch of 300 pound black men. Are these people really trying to tell me that 15 million isn't enough to finance another soccer league? How much are two flimsy metal nets and a patch of grass going for these days? Listen, I'm all about youth sports, but I am pretty sure it is easier to find a new place to play soccer than a place to park at a professional sporting event. Give me 5 minutes scouring a lot for a spot and I would be willing to sign up for the demolishen of a Catholic Church if it meant I could pop the trunk, fire up the grill and crack a few brewskis in it's wake. P.S. I'm not going to lie to you SCYSL. You probably should have seen this coming... Superman Has Gone Heel: Dwight Howard Owns 50 Guns, 20 Snakes, And An Unknown Amount Of Children4/21/2015
BlackSportsOnline- Howard mentions that he’s still working through relationships with his family members. He admits that he hasn’t been the most wholesome father, having four children—two sons and two daughters, ages seven, four, four and one—with several different women. But he says he’s very involved in each of their lives, while maintaining their privacy.
“I know how harsh the Internet and social media can get, and I don’t want to put my kids through that,” he says. “I don’t want them to have to go to school, and kids are like, ‘Your dad did this. He sucks.’ I don’t want them to have to feel that same kind of hate that I have received. But I spend as much time as I can with them, and I truly love and care for them.” It appears he is saying he wasn’t claiming his kids because he didn’t want them to be made fun of at school, but the oldest is 7, so that wouldn’t really come into play. Also he is off with the number, he has as many as 8 kids. Then there are Howard’s more exuberant activities, like riding around his neighborhood with his friends in his Can-Am Spyder three-wheeled bikes. He also likes going to the gun range—”It’s what you do in Texas,” he says—and he has about 10 different kinds in his collection encompassing more than 50 total, including shotguns, semiautomatics and handguns, such as one of his favorites, a gold-looking Desert Eagle pistol. He also collects, just for show, miniguns and bazookas. But there’s no better way to describe Howard’s eccentricity and connection to Texas than through his pet snakes at home. All 20 of them. I tell him at dinner, not expecting a serious response, “I’ve got to see them before I leave Houston.” Hey, they say you should be careful what you wish for. There were many people that thought Dwight Howard and his constantly beaming smile were disingenuous when he was causing trouble behind closed doors. They thought the happy-go-lucky attitude was a facade when he repeatedly contradicted himself on whether he wanted to stay in Orlando or not. They wished he would just be himself. Well, you wanted the real Dwight and you got the real Dwight. Turns out the real Dwight would make quite the used car salesman, because that deceitful alligator smile is only loyal to one person, and that person has about 30 illegitimate children. 50 guns? 20 snakes? No wonder Howard lied to this publication about how many kids he has. He's hoping the 70 deadly weapons in his household will somehow prove his dishonesty accurate and none will be the wiser. I don't even know if I can hate Howard for anything other than being an irresponsible father. After the incidents in Orlando, followed by the less than ceremonious stay in Los Angeles, everyone hated him. He had no choice but to live the bad boy life. Easier to embrace the hate than to try to convince everyone to love you again. Is there a surer sign that someone has given up on being liked than an Indiana Jones-esque pit of pet snakes? If you think about it Dwight Howard is just the black, modern day Hollywood Hulk Hogan. From the most beloved to the most despised in a matter of years. Actually, if Dwight weren't so God damn fragile he would have a bright future in the WWE. Talk about taylor made for the profession. A body that borders on the inhuman? An affinity for snakes and guns? An absurd mode of transportation? A guy who is no stranger to being the target of boos from all demographics? Cue the intro music. I can almost see him driving down the ring in a 3-wheeled Can-Am Spyder, bazooka on his shoulder, boa constrictor around his neck, while 'Hate Me Now' blares in the background. He doesn't even need to know how to embellish, he already looks like he is hurt anytime someone touches him anyway. Someone get Superman on steroids so we can get him to the ring where he belongs. I think we have all grown tired of watching the 7-footer waste his talents as a role player in the NBA. Woman Sits In On Her Son's Sex Education Class And Live Tweets About It's Advocacy Of Abstinence4/21/2015 CBC- Every parent is curious about what their kids learn in sex education class.
But when Michigan mom Alice Dreger found out that abstinence was the subject of her son's upcoming lesson, she was so curious, she decided to go back to school, With her son's permission - and the school's -- she sat in the back of the class last week. The medical humanities and bioethics professor teaches at Northwestern University and does research on sex. The plan was to sit quietly in the back while the state-required course on abstinence was taught. "They were teaching the kids through a game....that one out of six times a man and woman have intercourse, that the condom will fail and the woman will get pregnant...and they were handed a paper baby." Eventually, the whole class had babies. "Almost from the beginning...It was clear to me what they were going to impart in that classroom was the story of how you can abstain from sex and have a delightful life or you can not abstain and have a terrible life and that's exactly what went on to happen." "The lesson was...that when you meet a girl who says no that's the woman you want, basically slut-shaming the girls who might say yes," Dreger says. You know what, I am even going to surprise myself with this, but I actually agree with the school district. Not because I am a lunatic that thinks abstinence is the right way to live, or a practice that teenagers should adhere to. I agree with the school district because I know how a kid's brain works. You give a kid an inch and they are taking a mile. The entire course of childhood is a process of learning what you can get away with and how far is too far. You tell a kid he can stay out 5 minutes past curfew, he's coming home 15 minutes late. You tell your kid they can have a beer, next thing you know they are breaking into your liquor cabinet. The class being taught abstinence is exactly the same thing as the D.A.R.E. program. Do parents and teachers actually think the best thing for a child is to never experiment with substance abuse? Doubtful. If they did they would never encourage a college education. However, if you tell them a little bit of weed is okay at 14 years old they will be sucking dick for coke by 18. That's the same reason you should tell your children that sex results in pregnancy, and disease, and every other evil in this world. Eventually they will learn the truth that when sex is done right and safely it is a completely healthy thing to partake in, but that should be part of the natural learning process, not a school prescribed curriculum. You start passing out condoms and promoting safe sex at fourteen kids will be desensitized to Trojans by sixteen, and popping out twins by seventeen. In essence, safe sex is a gateway drug to much riskier forms of sexual expression. Especially at such a curious age. It seems the newest phenomenon is to be honest with our youth, and look how that is turning out. You've got 20 year olds and their 6 year old kids reminiscing over episodes of 'Teen Mom', while their classmates are overdosing on bath salts. Let's just stick to scaring the shit out of our children and let them figure out the proper use of the world's vices for themselves. Everything about society promotes sex, it's okay if the classroom doesn't. If we keep letting them think the world is their oyster, they'll be shooting squids into beardless clams before you can even say "class dismissed". Black Sports Online- “He’s such a dichotomy for me. Because I really respect the person, the man, the things that he believes in and the things he does off the field,” Feely said. “He was the single-worst quarterback I ever saw in my career in the NFL.” “I watched him one day … I sat and watched him do routes on air with Ken Whisenhunt as we were playing the Broncos,” Feely said. “And routes on air, there’s no [defensive backs], you know exactly what he’s going to run, there’s no pass rush. He had like 13 incompletions on routes on air. Jim, you and I could go out and do routes on air and we would complete most of our passes.” You know what, I actually respect Tim Tebow. Not as a football player. Not as a quarterback. Not as a religious zealot. I respect Tim Tebow the person. Growing up most of us are told not to let anybody tell us what we can't do. However, what if that 'anybody' was everybody. Look at this panel of people up there completely eviscerating Tebow's talents as a quarterback. A retired NBA player and an NFL kicker. A fucking kicker. The guy that is borderline when it comes to being treated as a member of the team is comfortable enough to go on national television and downplay your 'talents' as a quarterback. Do you know how many fucks you have to lack to not let that kind of criticism affect you? All of them. All the fucks. This would be like Frank Kaminsky criticizing your looks, or Charles Barkley criticizing your golf swing. You can't just take that in stride. Jay Feeley hasn't used his arm on a football field maybe ever, and he is still implying that he is a better quarterback than you? How does a man smile through that? Fuck making an NFL roster, I am just happy that Tebow hasn't killed himself yet. I'm not saying I want to be friends with him, but by all accounts he is a genuinely nice guy. All athletes accept the fact that the glorious life of a professional athlete comes with a certain amount of public backlash when things go poorly. However, no one is prepared to face that very same backlash without the generous paycheck to go along with it. Imagine if you weren't able to find work doing your dream job for 2-3 years. Then once you finally got said job, no one was happy for you, and everyone felt bad for your coworkers. Think about how many times a friend posts on Facebook or Instagram about something awesome that happened to them personally. The comment section is ALWAYS littered with congratulatory sentiments. How many times do you think Tim Tebow heard "congratulations" when he was signed by the Eagles? Thank God he has Jesus, because other than our Lord and Savior and his family there is not a single person on Earth that is happy for Tim Tebow. I don't like the man, but goddamn it I respect his irrational belief in himself despite all evidence to the contrary. Live look at Tim Tebow... Bloomberg View- Good news for fans of ice hockey and high-quality American women's sports: The National Women's Hockey League is coming to town.
That is, if your town happens to be either New York, Boston, Buffalo, New York or Stamford, Connecticut. The NWHL will feature four teams -- the Boston Pride, Buffalo Beauts, Connecticut Whale and New York Riveters -- with 18 players each. According to Yahoo Sports' Jen Neale, the season will be 18 games long and will run from October to March, including preseason and playoffs. This is huge. As the league office told Outlook Hockey's Mike Burse, the NWHL will be "the first paid professional women's hockey league in North America." Currently, women seeking to play hockey professionally have just one option: The Canadian Women's Hockey League, which doesn't pay players. Some live off the stipend provided by their national organizations, but many countries don't offer any form of payment. So after competing in college and the Olympics, most of the world's top women's hockey players must work full-time jobs in order to continue playing their sport at the highest level. American players face a particular barrier: Only one of the five CWHL teams, the Boston Blades, is in the U.S.; to play for the others means obtaining a Canadian work visa. The NWHL wants to change things. The salary cap will be $270,000; spread among an 18-player team, that works out to an average salary of $15,000. Star players will be able to negotiate with general managers to get more, but most will still likely have to supplement their incomes. Nonetheless, the door is at least opened to enticing high-level talent with the promise of pay, and the prospect of higher future salaries should the league succeed. Thank god, our prayers have been heard! Finally, professional women's hockey has come to North America! Absolutely stunning that it took this long considering the wildly successful growth of the WNBA! How much are season tickets? I'll take an entire section. Sure, I live about 3,000 miles from the closest game that will be played, but I have to imagine the resale value is through the roof. I'm thinking at least a 6 cent profit on each $3 ticket. There you are ladies. You can do every thing that a man can do, including financing a professional hockey league. Sure, you are making less than a McDonald's employee. Sure, theres only 4 teams in a 100 mile span. Sure, the talent level will be comparable to a high school Junior Varsity team. Sure, the largest crowd would be lucky to reach triple digits. But hey, professional is professional, am I right? I'm sure this isn't at all a gimmick to promote the feminist movement. I'm sure it has far more to do with the growth of women's hockey. The NWHL will also seek a partnership with the NHL, which, frankly, could use some fresh content to break the monotony of NHL Network. The NWHL will offer a streaming package available on the its own website. Give the people what they want! The NHL network has become monotonous? Throw some women's hockey on there. I'm sure that will be met with nothing but positivity. Can't imagine any prejudice tweets or emails spawning from that decision. As SBNation's Zoe Hayden notes, the close proximity of the four teams will keep travel costs down while fostering real, marketable regional rivalries. (Let's be honest: The Boston-New York rivalry has been lukewarm since the Red Sox started winning World Series in 2004.) Yankees/Red Sox. Rangers/Islanders. Jets/Patriots. Knicks/Nets. Pride/Riveters. Exactly what the northeast needs. How do you fill the void left by one of the biggest rivalries in sports history? Fill it with a bunch of women on ice lightly pushing each other and making passive aggressive comments under their breathe. I'm sure the 5 die hard fans that show up for each team will be stuffed to the gills with booze and team loyalty. Hope they have more than one security guard on hand. Can't imagine how they are going to break up a fight that started over gossip based shit talking. Putting an end to hair pulling would not be a position I am envious of.
Is it hypocritical to love Marshawn Lynch for this, but hate Dustin Byfuglien for it? It's not like the situations are at all similar. Marshawn Lynch carries his team on his back every week and does everything he can on the field to make sure they are successful. Byfuglien shows up to camp out of shape, starts fights with teammates by throwing their clothes in the shower, gets unnecessary suspensions for crosschecking defenseless players and takes needless penalties for punching opponents in the back of the head after they score. They are virtually complete opposite locker room presences. Byfuglien has never met a controversy he couldn't create, and the only thing controversial about Lynch is his attempts to stay uncontroversial.
In reality both Lynch and Byfugien are wrong for not granting the media a legitimate interview, but at least Lynch is consistent. It could be a game where Marshawn explodes for 150 yards and 4 touchdowns, or a game where he has 30 yards and only plays half the snaps and he is going to give the media the same soundbite. Sorry Big Daddy Buff, but you can't just decide that the day after you clocked someone from behind after the play and consciously made the decision to put your team at a disadvantage in the playoffs that you don't want to think up some original answers for the media. That timing is just a little too convenient. C'mon Buff Daddy, find your own shtick. And if you going to copy someone else don't repeat a phrase that goes in complete contrast to how you acted the night before. Nothing about 5 game suspensions and selfishly taking cheap shots in the playoffs says "sticking together as a team". Someone once told me that actions speak louder than words, no matter how many times you repeat them. Lynch has always let his play do the talking in a positive way. Byfuglien, well......
.....not so much.
Listen, that Canadians fan deserves every bad thing that happened to him. At the very least, I'm sure he didn't leave the game dry. Anytime you take it upon yourself to scream in support of your team when the entirety of the building is silent you are an asshole, and you deserve to get stoned by the nosebleeders on the upper concourse. Even more so during a tribute to a man who just recently passed away from a deadly disease. However, that was a pretty long moment of silence, no? I feel like they generally keep them way shorter than this for exactly that reason. It's virtually impossible to put 15-20,000 drunken fans that are revved up for some playoff hockey in one place and expect silence for over 10 seconds. And aren't you supposed to keep the circumstances the same throughout the entire moment of silence? If it weren't for the entire building being muted I would assume that the lights going off would signal the end of the recognition as well. Doesn't make this Canadians fan right. He very clearly had ill intentions. I'm just saying there is always going to be one moron, likely many more than that. Especially during the playoffs. If you want a memorial to go smoothly, it's probably best to keep it short and make sure it has a distinct start and end. Better to have a successful 5 second ceremony than have a dumb drunken canuck ruin your 10 second one.
This Pacquiao-Mayweather Promo Almost Made Me Forget How Disappointing This Fight Is Going To Be4/21/2015 Two young men. From different, but similarly destitute backgrounds. Both literally scraped their way up to the top of their profession. Beat all odds to finally face each other in the biggest boxing match in a decade.
Ahhh, you almost had me HBO. So close. Full disclosure, it was probably the voiceover that had me. That guy could be giving me a descriptive account of how I am going to die and I would still listen. He could be a guest on the Mike Francesa show and I would still be intrigued enough to tune in. Regardless, I almost forgot we were talking about two entitled millionaires instead of two young, hungry boxing prodigies. Almost forgot we were talking about two athletes on the downside of their career, instead of two guys out to make a name for themselves. Almost forgot we have spent 5+ years waiting on two boxers to agree to terms, instead of this being some miraculous set of circumstances that brought them together. Almost forgot that this is simply one last chance for boxing to maintain relevancy, instead of it being the pinnacle of athletic competition. For that, I applaud you HBO. Can we just keep hyping this fight up without it actually taking place? I get far more entertainment out of the idea of Manny and Floyd going toe to toe than I will actually get out of the fight itself. Now granted, I am only half serious, but that half is dead ass serious. This fight is comparable to the XFL, it's far better in theory than in actual execution, and ironically it will probably last just as long. This fight is like the invention of the hoverboard. The concept was so exciting, until it came out years later and was drastically underwhelming. It's the album that your favorite artist keeps pushing back that is only worth a half assed listen once it's finally released. If they just did a promotional video every week it would be far more captivating than watching two old men (in boxing terms) dance around the ring and exchange 3 punches per round. Maybe they could make a human version of 'Animal Face-off', and just debate the two fighters strengths and weaknesses, and finish it off with a dramatized version of the fight that won't put me to sleep. I would rather tune into a fictional match that is actual entertaining than a reality based snooze fest. This video is like the movie trailer that contains every single good scene in the movie. Maybe if I just watch this video on loop and only tune in for the declaration of the winner I will consider this match a success. Am I going to watch? Of course I am. We will all be watching. However, it's mostly just to confirm that Manny Pacquiao, Floyd Mayweather, and the boxing federation made the biggest blunder in sports history by not making sure this took place years ago. I can tell you this, I am certainly not proud of myself for watching. Yahoo Sports-
Bryan Price: I just want an answer on how we benefit from them knowing that Devin Mesoraco isn't here. C. Trent Rosecrans: I don't think you do and I don't know that that's my job. BP: Your job is not to sniff out every f****** thing is about the Reds and f****** put it out there for every other f****** guy to hear. It's not your job. You want me to be candid with you? I've been candid with you. I f****** talk to you guys like men, I tell you what the f***'s going on with the team, I tell you how I'm feeling as candidly as I can and then this s***? You've got to watch this f****** s***? I've got to f****** read that on a f****** Tweet on our own people in here that we don't have a f****** player? How the f*** does that benefit the Reds? It doesn't benefit us one f****** bit. God **** we try to go out there and win f****** games and I got to come in here and then you guys f****** blow it all over the f****** place? Who we can play? Who we can't? I'll tell you what you want to know, I'm not going to f****** lie to you. I didn't tell you f****** s***. CTR: You did not lie to me and I appreciate it. BP: Ah, f***. I'm just, I'm f****** p****** up a rope in this f****** business. Because everyone has to know everything all the f****** time. That's not my f****** obligation, it's not their obligation. You know why f****** Billy Hamilton didn't f****** play? The other day? Because his f****** finger's hurt and he couldn't hit right-handed comfortably. Right? So that's something that I need to know and no one else needs to know. No one else needs to f****** know it, and all of a sudden it's out there. His f****** fingers are sore. It doesn't benefit us. It wasn't from you, but it doesn't benefit us one bit to f****** announce to the f****** other teams that we're playing to bring in lefties when they need to f****** get Billy out. There's no benefit. So, I'm f******, to be honest with you, I'm f****** sick of this s***. I'm sick of listening to this f****** s***, I'm sick of f****** the f****** second-guessing b*******, you guys can do whatever the f*** you want, but I'll tell you this — I'm not going to f****** tell you everything about this f****** club, because you f****** guys are going to out there and sniff it out anyway. I don't f****** like it one f****** bit. I bend over backwards to be honest and direct with you f****** guys and you stick it right up my f****** a** — and the f****** team's a**. And I'm sick of it. What do you got? If you don't got anything, get out and I'll do this f****** interview with Marty. You don't have anything? Just get out, please. A lot of people will say this tirade was unnecessary. A lot of people will say it was uncalled for. A lot of people will say that the media has a job to do, and that coaches and General Manager's should not interfere with the completion of that job. Well, in my best Bryan Price impression, fuck all that! I have always wondered how professional coaches deal with the series of downright dumb questions they are asked on a daily basis. That's especially perplexing for a sport where the general manager has to a new game's worth of decisions to answer to each day. Well, I guess I have my answer. They don't deal with it. They internalize their anger until it showcases itself in a 5 minute monologue that would make George Carlin blush. In a way, Price's profanity laced rant was just as beneficial to the Reds media as it was cathartic to himself. Sure, it's degrading to sit there and have a grown man tell you that you don't know how to do your job with a few thousand expletives mixed in. However, I bet you won't make the same mistake twice. Bet C. Trent Rosencrans will give every single question he writes down on his notepad a second thought before he even thinks about presenting it to Bryan Price. And really, a grown man that goes by the first name 'C.' deserves every 'fuck' that has ever been directed at him. Regardless, his rant wasn't just a 5 minute therapy session. It was used as a tool to make every press conference going forward far less excruciating. The thousands of dollars he will undoubtedly be fined, as well as the wave of public backlash, are a small price to pay for a season of relative serenity. You know the more you listen to that interview, the more impressive it is. Not because of the sheer quantity of profanity, but his ability to maintain a level head throughout. It's one thing to drop a well placed 'fuck' to get your point across, but once you venture into double, and nearly triple, digits you stand the risk of your repitition and anger overshadowing your point. For a diatribe that featured as many 'bleeps' as actually words it was pretty well constructed. As an expert in the field, I think it's fair to say that the obscenities, as well as the general theme, did a pretty solid job of complimenting one another. Ask anyone that has ever ignored me. It's not easy to keep an audience's attention when your content is fuck-centric. Although I suppose it helps to have a microphone in your hand.
Larry Brown Sports- The Los Angeles Clippers are free to do what they want with the Staples Center now that they have begun their playoff run and the Los Angeles Lakers are no longer playing, and Steve Ballmer is taking full advantage.
The Clippers hosted the San Antonio Spurs for Game 1 of their opening-round playoff series on Sunday night. Ballmer, who purchased the team for $2 billion last year, decided to make himself at home before and after the game by expanding his personal real estate. I wrote earlier today how I loved theRaptors General Manager cursing during the team pep rally. Well if that's the way to be a new school general manager then this is the how you are supposed to be a new school owner. Dress like an old white man. Dance like an old white man. Take over other people's territory like an old white man. My, how the mighty have fallen. Sure, the Lakers still have all the tradition. Countless legendary players. An entire side of the rafters filled with championship banners. However, that's all in the past. Steve Ballmer has got his feet kicked up in the Laker's locker room, undoubtedly drinking soda out of a straw, with "I Don't Fuck With You" blasting in the background. Just delivering an absolute fatality to the Lakers reputation. Don't get me wrong, the Lakers are still the most popular in Los Angeles, but that's really all they have going for them. Talk about the roles being reversed. The Lakers are unwatchable. Short of Golden State, the Clippers are the most entertaining team in the league. The Lakers front office is in shambles while Coach Byron Scott publicly ridicules his players. The Clippers somehow transitioned from an absolute bigot of an owner to an entertaining billionaire in a matter of months, and are led by one of the most respected coaches in basketball. If Ballmer turning the sanctity of the Lakers locker room into his own personal cocktail lounge doesn't signal the end of the Lakers' aura of invincibility then I don't know what will. Wouldn't even be surprised if he carves "Ballmer wuz here" into one of the lockers. Maybe spray paint a "Clipperz Rule" over the team logo. Why not leave an arm sling in Kobe's locker, or steal a pair of Nick Young's shoes. Ballmer, and more so the Clippers, have taken over LA, and no one can tell them differently. Imagine how you would act if you were a die hard fan with all the money and authority in the world. That's exactly what Ballmer is. How boss is it to share a building with one of the most successful franchises in sports history and wash away any evidence of their existence during your playoff run? Infinity boss. Somebody get the Buss family a sanitary wipe, because Steve Ballmer's balls are all over their drum set. Hope the Lakers enjoy the bottom bunk. Seems they may be there for awhile.
ABC News- A veteran-turned-Playboy model was detained after an altercation on a college campus when she tried to take an American flag away from a group of protesters who had been stomping on it.
The group of three protesters was not a registered student group a school spokesman told ABC News that only two of them have been confirmed as students. The specific point of their protest was not explicitly clear, but Andy Clark, the vice president of the school’s communications department told ABC News that “it was around race, race relations” and that the protesters were reciting some Malcolm X readings. Clark confirmed that the students did not have permits that are normally required for protests on campus, but added that “we have a procedure but for the most part… the university errs on the side of the First Amendment.” When the married mother-of-two arrived on campus this past Friday, she saw campus police -- who she said did not intervene -- standing about 25 feet away from the protesters. Once they started stomping on the flag, Manhart said that's when she decided to get involved and picked up the flag. "I'm all about the First Amendment and I’m all about people speaking, but I don’t understand how people are able to desecrate the one iconic emblem that allows them to have it," she told ABC News. Are we reaching the point where the high salary and benefits of early retirement aren't enough to persuade people to become police officers? I mean, talk about a lose-lose situation here. These cops arrested a military veteran, who also happens to be a semi-attractive ex-PlayBoy model, for picking up an American flag that was being walked all over and somehow I think they made the right decision. What was the alternative? Getting into an altercation with a disgruntled group of African Americans and thus proving their entire point for them? Rock meet hard place. I would have to imagine cops are trying to valiantly to clean up an image that has been tarnished by the prejudice of officers before them. Breaking up an anti-American/anti-officer rally may seem like the noble thing to do as a citizen and protector of this country, but it's certainly not going to win over any critics of law enforcement. Almost had to arrest the only person whose intentions were pure. If I was those cops I would have been mighty close to a "fuck this shit, I'm going home". No way I can sit here and say that Michele Manhart didn't do the right thing. Anytime you treat the symbol of this fair country like a doormat you are in the wrong. It's sad that the actions of a few cops are starting to have a direct impact on the actions of the moral majority. I mean, at least a portion of detaining her was to appease the large group of black men that had felt slighted even before their flag was taken away. And really, no one is going to be happy. Manhart still feels as though she acted within her rights, and this radical anti-law enforcement group is still wondering why she wasn't pelted with bullets while resisting arrest. It's a shame that there are so many outlying factors surrounding law enforcement. An arrest shouldn't be a political process that's determined by anything other than the situation at hand. I, for one, do not envy the responsibilities of police officers these days. P.S. God.Bless.America. Taj Gibson Shows Why Rooting For Derrick Rose Is Like Getting Back With An Unfaithful Ex-Girlfriend4/20/2015 I would say a good amount of people have been there. The consistent on again-off again relationship when you are younger. You are convinced the person is good for you no matter how many times there has been evidence to the contrary. Maybe she cheated once or twice, but you swear this time will be different. You worry whenever she goes out to get milk, never mind a girl's night without you present. That's what it is like rooting for the oft injured Derrick Rose. Derrick Rose taking a spill and Taj Gibson immediately putting his head in his hands as if to say "not this shit again" is that very same immediate overreactive assumption. It's a label that's stuck, and a label he's earned. Your girlfriend can't leave the house without finding some new dick, and Derrick Rose can't fall to the ground without some kind of serious injury. Tigers don't change their stripes, cheaters don't change their ways, and Derrick Rose can't change his knees.
Sure, The Chicago Bulls need Derrick Rose more than you needed that lying twat of an ex-girlfriend, but the sentiment remains the same. When bad things constantly happen you would have to be an idiot not to become pessimistic. Thinking the next time is the exception instead of the rule is the best way to remain a scorned lover and a heart broken fan. Hope for the best, but expect the worse. It could have a story book ending, but let's be honest, it probably won't. Chances are Derrick Rose's knees will fail to show up to the alter, if they are even able to make it to the stage.
Just when you thought a stadium brewskie couldn't get anymore valuable priceless souvenirs start raining out of the sky right into beer cups all across Wrigley. Poetic justice really. For over $9 a drink they should all come with a memento of days and paychecks gone by.
Love Cubs fans reactions. Do you really have a choice but to chug it? The damage is done. You're not throwing out a drink that rings in at about 95 cents a sip. It just gives new meaning to the term 'floater'. 'Can of corn' or 'cup of beer'? It's like the adult beverage equivalent of the prize at the bottom of the 'Cracker jack' box. You can't reach your hand all the way to the bottom without finishing the snack first, and you can't take the baseball out until you finish your drink. You got to earn that virtually meaningless April foul ball. It's not like there is some 5 second rule that prevents your beer from being contaminated. Not when a baseball comes flying out of left field at high speeds and lands right in your Bud Light. Is it the most sanitary thing to do? Probably not. However, if you're a germ-a-phob you might want to reconsider those Cubs' season tickets. After all, we are talking about a place where a significant portion of men werepissing into cups to avoid 2 hour long bathroom lines just a couple of weeks ago. When in Rome do as the Romans do, and when in Wrigley you drink your dirty baseball beer without hesitation. God made dirt and dirt don't hurt. P.S. There is an A+ beer marketing campaign in that 'Gold Glove' reference. I don't know how to institute it, but it's there. |
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