The otherworldly talent. The personalities. The rivalries. To borrow from one of the league's most overused postseason slogans, the stage that it sets for the amazing to happen. All those things are arguably more imperative to the entertainment value of professional basketball than the pettiness of it's players. I would probably enjoy the NBA playoffs just as much without childish confrontations that result from tattle-taling and the subsequent rude reactions to it, but I'll be damned if I am not blessed that I don't have to. If you can't appreciate two bruising athletes almost coming to blows (more accurately, shoves) over a back-and-forth that sounded like a mic'd up, 3rd grade recess then not only do I not want to watch a Wizards/Hawks game with you, but I don't even want to know you. I don't even remember the last time I have seen a lane violation called on the shooter, and a player chose to rat out an opponent in response that rare of an infraction with a tenth of a second left in the first half of Game 1. Granted, Kelly Oubre created quite the war of words between the two players in question, but if that argument about the foot placement on a free throw doesn't speak to how quickly the triviality of NBA players builds into something much bigger and more enjoyable then I don't know what does. If elementary snitching and a well placed "shut up" is the beginning then even this likely lopsided first round matchup should have quite the end in store.
0 Comments
I'm not going to sit here and lie to you. I hate when light gets shed on the rear end of my ass backwards priorities. That, however, doesn't mean I don't think it makes me a better man to admit when I am wrong, and my initial reaction to this video was as wrong as I have ever been. When I watched this "security guard" give thee ole' matador defense to a bunch of soccer hooligans my first thought was "how come I'm never lucky enough to run into this guy?". Obviously, I should want to avoid the last line of protection that's most likely to let someone enter a public domain with a goddamn bazooka strapped inside their pant leg, but the irrationally impatient fan in me loves how quickly his line is moving. I'm undoubtedly more susceptible to getting stabbed inside the venue he's working, but I'll be damned if I am not able to order one more beer at the bar and still make inside for the start of the game he's working. If you give me some time to think about it then I have no problem admitting how dangerous this is, but in the moment I probably would have given this guy a tip if he casually waved his hands in my general direction and expedited me through to the ticket taker. This dude definitely needs to be fired, but ask me when I'm 25th in line 30 seconds before the scheduled puck drop and I might be willing to write him a letter of recommendation. Safety's first, but my personal convenience is such a close second that sometimes it's temporarily surpasses it.
Charles Barkley's reaction....
I'm just going to come out and say it. If you weren't made uncomfortable by watching Isaiah Thomas shed the rawest of emotions then it's you that has issues, not Charles Barkley. I don't mean that in the sense that there's no crying in basketball and that genuine tears should be treated the same way as a Magic Johnson nosebleed. I mean that witnessing a professional basketball player that you don't know outside of the realm of sports (i.e. entertainment) at his most vulnerable should leave you feeling awkward. I know the current state of media has every fan thinking they are privy to a level of candidness that falls just short of requiring athletes to install live cameras in their bathrooms. The truth of the matter is that the visual of a complete stranger mourning the abrupt, horrific death of his sister a little more than 24 hours after the fact should feel off-limits to you. A national viewing audience saw Isaiah Thomas emotionally undressed. Throughout the period of time in which he sat there with his head in his hands and his heavy heart weighing on his chest, he was no longer a public figure. He temporarily ceased to be the best player on the Boston Celtics, the 3rd leading scorer in the NBA, and an outside MVP candidate. That still shot wasn't of 'Mr. 4th Quarter', it was of a human being - and more specifically, a brother - experiencing the type of uncontrollable grief that comes regardless of who is watching. If you felt comfortable getting a first, second, or third hand glance at someone who - given his career and stature - personifies strength while they were at their weakest then I question whether or not there is warm blood coursing throughout the beating heart in your chest. Now, the larger point that Isaiah Thomas was unfit to play because he wasn't solely focused on basketball during the distinct time frame that Charles Barkley apparently took it upon himself to chisel into stone is a heaping load of horse shit. I don't think anyone would have faulted him for opting out of Game 1 (or 2, or 3, or 4, etc.), but I also don't think anyone truly expected him to. If there is a profession in which the ability to compartmentalize is key then it's the one that requires it's employees to be all-in both physically and mentally. Sports aren't just as escape for those watching. They are an escape for the people competing. I don't want to speak for someone who has to be an absolute wreck right now, but I would imagine a couple hours away from reality were just as therapeutic as the tears that preceded them. It may have come in a losing effort, but Isaiah Thomas' inspiring first quarter that led to a 33 point performance was proof positive that it's stupid to judge someone's psyche before the game has even started. I don't take umbrage with Chuck's use of the word "uncomfortable" because the aftermath of a tragedy is generally just that, but to imply his participation was "a bad look" was - ironically enough - an exponentially worse look. Especially considering the way things ended up playing out.
BREAKING NEWS: They did not end the streak which now holds firm at 28 straight losses in Anaheim....at least until Game 2 on Saturday night. I really want to laugh at the Calgary Flames for displaying the type of prolonged futility necessary to render circumstances, personnel changes, the passing of time, the passing of people, and the oft-unpredictable bouncing of the puck completely meaningless whenever they play in Anaheim. Unfortunately, I think this is one of those streaks that's been going on for so long that it's become more eerie than it is funny. Don't get me wrong. I'll still make jokes, but not without the chilling sense that I'm enabling the perverse sense of humor of the hockey gods while I do. We are talking about a team that hasn't been able to win in a conference foe's building for well over a decade, and there's literally nothing - other than the Ducks generally being the better team throughout that time frame - that can truly explain it. Hockey fans in Southern California aren't particularly loud or passionate. The team they support isn't some juggernaut that's been steamrolling the entire league since 2006. The Flames have taken the home team to a handful of overtimes and multiple shootouts, and somehow defied the elementary math that says they should have at least won one of those games by accident. Honestly? I am just glad that advanced analytics were about nine years away from become a thing when this streak started, because the stress of trying to figure out this statistical anomaly would have the most persistent mathematician trying to crunch numbers in a straight jacket. I guess you could call the Honda Center the Calgary Flames' 'House of Horrors', but the scores have been so goddamn close that it feels more like the Calgary Flames' 'House of Implausible Inevitability'. I don't even know if I want this run to continue forever due to the novelty of it, or if I need it to end so that trying to understand it doesn't consume the entirety of my being. One thing I am sure of - however - is that Johnny Gaudreau will be watching the playoffs from home very shortly if he doesn't exercise a Duck-billed demon that's damn near old enough to get mistaken as his elder while wandering the middle school halls. Look, I know that MD Anderson has more important things to concern themselves with than the sturdiness of the inanimate objects they use for symbolic gestures of perseverance. Still, I think they have to get someone in there to do a better job securing their "I beat cancer" bell. For one, it feels like a bad omen for one hearty ring to send something that represents strength and persistence crashing to the ground. More importantly, an NFL player shouldn't have to frantically look around like "oh fuck, what did I just do?" when he's trying to celebrate the most important and impressive victory of his life. It's not three long, grueling years of chemotherapy, but feeling like you did something wrong due to poor craftsmanship is not a pleasant experience either. I don't know that you need to build your bell to withstand the exuberant force of a healthy offensive tackle, but it might not be the worst idea when the bell in question is rung by those that are finally done enduring an ungodly amount of physical, mental, and emotional pain. David Quessenberry had the look of a man that could have finished off the Liberty Bell once and far all. However, the ease with which his cancer center's "you did it" bell fell to pieces is not worthy of the ringing endorsement that should be saved for everyone that was responsible for ridding him of an awful, debilitating disease. Dean Blandino Is Leaving His Stand As The NFL's Catch Expert To Pursue A Career In Television4/14/2017
You know, if I didn't hold Dean Blandino personally responsible for all the pain and suffering I have incurred from the NFL's vague and inconsistent rules then I might just feel bad for him here. That compassion wouldn't stem from the fact that the job he's leaving is about as thankless as it gets, but the idea that he thinks he'll ever be known as anything other than the clown that spent years juggling the age old concept of a catch. It's ironic that he's going into television, because this is as close as a football "expert" will ever be to getting typecast. The name 'Dean Blandino' will forever be synonymous with some of the most iconically stupid officiating decisions in NFL history. I would imagine any and all introductions will feature strangers asking him to throw them something only for them to bobble it ever so slightly before looking back at someone they just met for a ruling. I'm sure David Schwimmer thinks Ross Geller had a less-than-friendly lasting impact on every interaction of his professional career, but that's nothing compared to the impact that the parodied version of himself will have on the future of Dean Blandino. Just because he'll no longer be tasked with explaining unexplainable whistles and doing damage control on shattered dreams doesn't mean I will ever think that he's any less of the dope that he has spent years shamelessly portraying himself as. Good luck in television Dean. You're going to need it since no one will ever forget that Dez caught that ball...regardless of the all-too-conveniently ambiguous wording that you used to say he didn't.
FTW- Before Game 1 between the Washington Capitals and Toronto Maple Leafs, Leafs head coach Mike Babcock weighed in on Capitals’ fourth line bruiser Tom Wilson.
“Nothing against (Wilson), because he works hard and all that, but he’s not as big of concern as a lot of people on their team. He’s a forechecker and he works hard, I think their fourth line has been real good for them. In saying that, they’ve got a lot of players that we’ll concern ourselves with more.” ------- I don't know if it's considered the first laugh because it came after the opening game of the series, or the last laugh because it placed Mike Babcock's foot directly in his mouth. Either way, Tom Wilson is the one left with a well deserved smile on his face after having his impact called into question and answering with this shockingly accurate sudden death snipe...
And you know what? As much as I hate the guy, he should take pleasure in tickling Mike Babcock's tonsils with his own toes. In fact, we all should. Not just because the juxtaposition of his comments to the unlikely goal that sealed his team's fate is objectively hilarious, but because the Maple Leafs coach has far too much postseason experience not to realize that speaking ill of a goon's offensive prowess - or lack thereof - is the quickest way to fall victim to it. The playoffs are the time of year in which the unexpected is to be expected, and nothing is more unexpected than Tom Wilson doing something notable that didn't require the on-ice presence of a gurney. That being said, we can stop short of pretending that Mike Babcock's lack of concern about hockey's most morally compromised dickhead is what cost him the game. If Toronto had game planned around Tom Wilson their first order of business wouldn't have been drawing up clearing attempts that didn't go in his direction. They wouldn't have been more wary of getting in the way of a haphazard shot - that was basically the equivalent of a blind squirrel finding a nut - if they ran the tape on Tom Wilson. Hell, the Toronto Maple Leafs would have more likely to come out in full cages than worry about their defensive zone positioning if Tom Wilson was the player they were worried about. If the 4th liner with a track record of complete and utter lawlessness was their first priority than they would have stitched their numbers onto the front of their jerseys just to confuse him. They would have added 3-6 neurological experts to their postseason staff, and avoided the corners at all costs. I love that Mike Babcock got his careless babble cucked and for one night looked like he didn't know as much as acts like he does. Still, the mere coincidence that made that possible wouldn't have been avoided by treating Tom Wilson like an NHL forward that's consistently capable of anything more than causing concussions. From 2006 to 2017.... Four first overall draft picks over the course of a single decade and Rip Van Winkle still woke up from his slumber before the Oilers were able to sneak back into the Stanley Cup Playoffs. The funny thing is that these pictures (that look like they were taken 30 years apart) illustrating Joe Thornton and Brent Burns complete transformation from young, well groomed studs to 'Duck Dynasty' stunt doubles isn't even the best representation of just how shitty Edmonton has been. You think those two have undergone some serious changes since 2006? Consider the fact that their franchise's savior was only ten years old and didn't even know what to do with his dick yet at the time. Shit, when Ryan Smyth (yes, that Ryan Smyth) was still the pride of Western Canada it was yet to be decided whether Connor McDavid would eventually become the best hockey player in the world, orrrrrr the kid who tires of dedicating his entire childhood to a sport and ends up a dropout, junkie, and cautionary tale. The Oilers have been such a joke since the first time you watched HDTV that they have two of the best players on their opposition doing that thing your grandparents do when they dust off the photo album and fondly reminisce about the good old days. I guess I should give Edmonton credit for overcoming their management's stupidity by falling ass backwards into a generational talent, but - my god - it took about two dozen Brent Burns position changes for them to do so.
I have to be honest with you, I love this story. I love that Moe Harkless actively avoided shooting from distance during the final three games of his season, and I love that he did so to take every red fucking cent that he could from the Portland Trail Blazers. I admittedly haven't broken down the tape, but this was no mere coincidence. We are talking about a player that didn't have an attempt from distance in only SIX games this season, and THREE of them were to finish out the year a tenth of a percentage point higher than the baseline for his half a million dollar incentive. This was an all-too-rare example of one player turning the tables on an organization that would have found a way to add a missed three pointer to his stats if they weren't sure that he was paying such close attention to them. I don't care that Moe Harkless put his own financial well being ahead of the good of the franchise, because the franchise has undoubtedly put their own financial well being ahead of the good of Moe Harkless the other 364 days of the year. I suppose - in the worst case scenario - his apparent refusal to sacrifice 500K by taking a wide open shot from beyond the arc could have cost his team the playoff spot that they ever so slightly squeaked out. However, there's simply no way that this was something that went unspoken in the locker room. In a player versus management showdown, teammates are always going to root for the same side and it's certainly not the same side as the fans that were passionately yelling "SHOOT!!!!". Damian Lillard probably kicked it out to Moe Harkless alone on the wing and then apologized for putting him in a tough position during the next TV timeout. That's the type of casual collusion that puts a smile on my face when it comes at the expense of the people that get paid far more to do far less than professional athletes. Loud? Check. Black? Check. Hilarious? Check. Classic character on an all-time show? Check. Whew, now that I have laid it all out I am surprised there are people out there that didn't make this mistake! In all seriousness, this is inexcusable. I - like most - am a Michelle Beadle fan, but you absolutely cannot mix up J.B. Smoove and Charlie Murphy. Especially - ESPECIALLY - when the former had atelevision show that was at least mildly related to the field you work in. Honestly, I expected better from her. I know this was an innocent fuck up, but one of the few likable people on the ESPN airwaves simply needs to be flamed for it. There aren't enough shows as funny as 'Curb Your Enthusiasm' or 'Chappelle's Show', so we need to make sure that we - as society - properly mourn the right deceased black guy that was responsible for so, so many of our laughs while watching them. I'm glad she owned it and it hasn't changed my opinion on her as a sports personality. I will, however, say that I am now a little worried that she'll end up embarrassing me in front of my friends by saying something stupid and unintentionally racialist when we eventually date. See you soon Leon, and rest in peace Charlie Murphy.
Annnnnd that's why you do your due diligence. I don't know is Adrian Peterson is going to end up in New Orleans. I don't know if the money he's demanding will match up to the much smaller amount that he's worth to the Saints backfield. I don't even know if he'll truly be happy backing up Mark Ingram. Still, if all of that does get figured out and he winds up wearing the black & gold then the Saints will have added a player who isn't your average 32 year old rusher. Is it really surprising to anyone that Adrian Peterson looked explosive in his workout? We are talking about a guy that tore his ACL and MCL in December of 2011, and started a 2,000+ yard MVP campaign in September of 2012. Granted he was much younger then, but if there is a physical freak that can defy the expedited aging process of running backs then it's AD. His injury history is concerning, but last year's 1.9 YPC in a ridiculously small sample size is not. The days of 200 yard games and 80 yard touchdowns are in his past, but - considering his superhuman athleticism - the potential for a boom is worth the off-chance that he completely busts. Let's face it, he would be replacing a 30 year old who spent multiple seasons out of professional football before experiencing a resurgence behind Drew Brees. All due respect to Tim Hightower, but I don't think it's crazy to say that Adrian Peterson would be an upgrade at the position - even if that assumption is being based on one unseen workout. His signing wouldn't be a game changer, but he probably does still have one or two in those legs of his. Paul Pierce May Be Retiring At The End Of The Season, But He's Clearly Anti-Retirement Tour4/13/2017
Have you ever seen someone less enthused to enter into a professional basketball game? When "we want Paul!" started resonating throughout the Staples Center, Pierce looked like you or I do when we notice waiters starting to gather and head to our table during birthday dinners. His teammates were basically the friends that get an irrational amount of pleasure out of your embarrassment when the restaurant staff starts singing and draws the attention of every single patron to you. If that "oh my god, I fucking hate you guys" reaction wasn't a sign of someone just wanting their Hall Of Fame career to go silently into the night then I don't know what is. Draymond may think that Paul Pierce isn't getting his own personal Farewell Tour because of a lack of love, but - considering the volume of the Clippers fans - it's pretty clear that he's just content being along for ride as opposed to making the ride all about himself. There's something to be said for having your accomplishments acknowledged without having to hoist up 50 shots in your finale to validate them. That's not necessarily a knock on Kobe because his last game was an awesome moment in sports, but so was Paul Pierce sheepishly sauntering into his final regular season game at the insistence of literally everyone else in the building. P.S. Also, he's still got it...occasionally...
I'm not here to shame those that instinctually let the pure, unadulterated joy that results from a timely playoff goal overcome them when celebrating it. That's far from the case. In fact, Zach Parise nearly throwing his arm out with a fist pump after slamming home the tic-tac-toe goal that sent the game in question to overtime served as my "oh shit, we're officially in this bitch" postseason initiation. In that same vein, Joel Edmundson - with all 3 of his regular season tallies - could have celebrated his game winning, sudden death snapshot with a goddamn double backflip and I wouldn't have thought it was an over-the-top response.
That said, there's still something so awesome about being able to contain your emotions - when they are running at their wildest - and acting like you've been there before....especially when you haven't. Joel Edmundson preseason reaction to his postseason heroics was - in many ways - a bigger slap in the face to the team that was victimized by them than had he skated an entire victory lap. Ho hum. Business as usual. Like casually keeping it together when your stoned in public, Joel Edmundson champion'd that high like a goddamn boss.
Then again, it's very possible that his celebration - or lack thereof - was so understated because he knew his team had no business winning. You should never apologize for a victory, but maybe - just maybe - his minimalistic acknowledgement of it was his way of affirming that he recognized the ridiculously fortuitous string of events led to it. The St. Louis Blues were outplayed in each and every way last night. There's not one person in their locker room - other than the man that stopped 51 pucks - that should have been happy with their performance. So maybe Joel Edmundson was just trying to go undetected in hopes that his team would mob Jake Allen seeing as he was the only person deserving of being at the bottom of that pile-up. It's either that, or he's got the most low key swag of any mid-pairing defenseman in the NHL. I Hate Everyone In This Video Of Chief Wahoo Protestors Going To Bat Against Chief Wahoo Supporters4/12/2017 I suppose I should clear one thing up before we get started. When I speak of the Chief Wahoo protestor versus the Chief Wahoo supporter matchup, the following is not what I am referring to.... You'd have to an absolute asshole with no social awareness whatsoever to side with the type of buffoon who would not only dress up in red face, but try to explain why it's okay that he's mocking an entire nationality to the face of a member of that nationality. It's insane that in 2017 Chief Wahoo is only being incrementally phased out when it's clearly offensive to a proud group of people whose feeling on it are the only ones that truly matter. Unfortunately, that doesn't make me hate the people singing jingles about racism on their behalf any less... You see, I have little to no doubt that at least half the people protesting in that video are just as passionate about their cause of finding literally anything to bitch about as the people that are slinging racially insensitive stupidity right into a camera lens. I'm not saying that the home opener following a season in which the Cleveland Indians were merely a bounce away from winning the World Series is too inconvenient of a time for people to voice their concerns. However, couldn't a proverbial mirror be held in the face of prejudice on literally any other day? There's no excuse for the stereotypical idiot screaming "get a job!" when he's too dumb to realize that he's not currently at his either. I just wonder how you could expect any other reaction when you're implying that a bunch of trumped up baseball fans are racists by association before they even got a single sniff of the infield grass on an afternoon they had been looking forward to since mid-October. The insults, stereotypes, and illogical comparisons captured were inexcusable, but so is stirring shit and acting surprised when you end up with a goddamn mess on your hands.
TheComeback- Of all the boycotts over North Carolina’s HB2 legislation—which eliminated anti-discrimination protections for LGBT people and legislated who could use which bathroom—the ACC’s was among the most powerful.
The conference (along with the NCAA) decreed that until the state repealed the law, it would not hold any events in North Carolina. Eventually, the state replaced HB2 with another bill, which felt more palatable despite having similar outcomes, and the ACC relented on its boycott. Now, North Carolina representatives Bert Jones, Chris Millis, Mark Brody and Jeff Collins (all Republicans) have proposed a bill that would make sure the conference never boycotts again. The legislation states that if “a conference within an intercollegiate athletic association” enacts a boycott on the state, any public school in that conference will send notice that it “intends to withdraw from the conference no later than when the assignment of its media rights expire.” ------- Personally, I don't give a shit where anyone - regardless of their sexual orientation or level of gender fluidity - relieves themselves. I am never more goal oriented than when I am in a public restroom, and it results in me keeping my blinders up for the entirety of my stay. I don't even think being in favor of transgendered people pissing where they please makes me progressive. I think it makes me a normal human being that has no interest in scouring any and all in-use urinals for anatomic inconsistencies. That being said, I have to give credit to North Carolina legislators. Their view on biologically accurate bathroom visits may (rightfully) seem antiquated to some and offensive to others, but I'll be damned if they haven't stuck with it. Threatening to pull a storied program that's coming off a National Championship from it's well decorated conference in a state that lives and breathes college basketball? Putting rivalries that have lasted multiple decades at risk in order to uphold the integrity of the 'Sex' label on birth certificates? It's not a hill that I would choose to die on, but you have got to respect the doggedness with which they are fighting the masses atop it in hopes of playing as many games as possible in LGBT unfriendly arenas. Potentially relinquishing two spots in the ACC? Pheeeew, can't tell me these radical, right wing wack-a-doos don't have their priorities in order. It's not often that the NCAA loses leverage, but when they do it's to politicians whose bill - if passed - couldn't legally be put into practice until the current media deal runs out.........in 2026. Classic LA: Anthony Davis Was Turned Away From A West Hollywood Restaurant For Wearing A Hoodie4/12/2017 PageSix- Anthony Davis, the New Orleans Pelicans forward and MVP of the All-Star game, was turned away from a hip Japanese restaurant in West Hollywood for wearing a team hoodie.
Davis and some of his teammates were barred from entering eatery Katana on Monday night by a doorman who objected to Davis’ Pelicans garb. A witness said, “Davis was pleading with the doorman, saying, ‘Me and my teammates just want to get something to eat.’ He said he couldn’t take off the hoodie because he was wearing a sleeveless T-shirt underneath. Davis even offered to spend a fortune to rent the private room, but the doorman said, ‘No you can’t come in wearing a hoodie.’ So Davis got back in his SUV and left, and only then did the restaurant manager come running out, freaking out at the doorman.” The Pelicans were in LA to play the Lakers on Tuesday night, although Davis was out with a sore knee. ---- Motherfuckin' La La Land. The only place so pretentious that it could turn a 7 foot tall NBA superstar in professional, team licensed gear into a regular old schmuck fruitlessly trying to argue his way into night club in dirty sneakers. All it took for Anthony Davis to get treated like your average, everyday pheasant that's not deserving of nice things was a West Coast swing through Southern California. How many rich and famous people must that doorman see daily for him to stare straight up like he was sitting in the front row of a movie theatre before adamantly telling a mountain of a man that he can't pay top dollar for a private room? To not only have the power and conviction to turn away Anthony Davis, but also the fear that not telling a guy worth over a hundred million dollars to "get lost" would cost you your job? That's some otherworldly shit right there. You know you're in Los Angeles when the presence of a hood has a guy being paid minimum wage telling an unmistakeable athlete that his endless stream of money and undeniable fame isn't even good enough for the shitty table in the back by the kitchen door. I'm half surprised he didn't tell him to shave his unibrow while he was at it, because un-plucked eyebrows undoubtedly have to break some superficial rule that values appearance over business as well. Adam Silver Put The Kibosh On Tony Romo Potentially Getting Minutes For The Dallas Mavericks4/12/2017
247Sports- According to a report from Todd Archer of ESPN.com, Cuban approached NBA commissioner Adam Silver about signing Romo to a legitimate contract that would have allowed the 14-year NFL veteran to actually check into Tuesday night's game against the Denver Nuggets before the idea was shot down.
If Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban had his way, Tony Romo would not only have dressed for Tuesday night's game against the Denver Nuggets, he would have found his way into the game. When he approached NBA commissioner Adam Silver with the idea, Cuban said, "I told him what I was going to do and said, 'Fine me if you don't like it.'" Silver told Cuban the contract would not be honored, which killed the idea but did not stop the Mavericks from honoring the former Dallas Cowboys quarterback. ----- I never thought the following would be the benchmark for a great commissioner, but the fact that my biggest problem with Adam Silver has been his insistence on not letting a "retired" NFL player literally hoist up celebrity shots in an NBA game is quite the ringing endorsement. Selfishly I would have loved to see a former quarterback/unproven analyst/long overdue Phil Simms replacement jog around some screens and let loose a couple courtesy jumpers like the charity case that he was treated as otherwise. I suppose I can see how that would set a dangerous precedent for shamelessly tanking teams in the future, but it still would have been a more entertaining viewing experience than anything else that took place during a meaningless Nuggets/Mavericks game. My first reaction to reading the news that Mark Cuban actually tried to get Tony Romo rostered and was shot down was one of disappointment. The first time Adam Silver has ever let me down and it was in order to uphold the integrity (/avoid a complete mockery) of the billion dollar operation he's tasked with running. Considering the decision making of the other people in charge of professional sports, that's a pretty big accomplishment. Even if it did keep us from seeing the roof come off the American Airlines Center if a jumper this wet somehow didn't get blocked into oblivion and actually counted in the garbage time stats...
Oral Roberts Fired Their Head Coach Who Was Forced To Recruit Overly Religious, Non-Tattooed Players4/12/2017
LBS- Oral Roberts hired a new university president in 2013, and the school’s men’s basketball program has gotten progressively worse since. According to reports in the wake of former head coach Scott Sutton’s firing, that is not a coincidence.
Sutton, the son of legendary former Oklahoma State coach Eddie Sutton, supposedly found out he was fired this week when he saw the news on social media while watching his daughter’s tennis match. The Golden Eagles (8-22) just had their worst season in Sutton’s 18 years with the program. It would seem he stood no chance at success with the way his boss was forcing him to recruit players. Bill Haisten of the Tulsa World reports that Oral Roberts president Billy Wilson put a new policy in place when he took over at the school — the basketball team must only recruit professed Christian athletes. Sutton disagreed with the policy but did as he was ordered. A report from local TV station KTOV meshes with the one from Haisten, adding that Wilson also told Sutton he could not recruit players with tattoos — a ban that was later lifted — and that incoming players must pass a “faith exam.” Kansas coach Bill Self, who coached at Oral Roberts from 1993-1997, was critical of Oral Roberts’ recruiting guidelines last month. “Your pool of (potential recruits) has been decreased tremendously,” Self said. “There were a lot of people whose lives were changed – people whose entire outlook was changed because of their experience at ORU. Whether it was through osmosis – being around people of faith – it might have changed the lives of a lot of athletes. It would be sad to eliminate those types of kids.” ------- My first instinct was to say that trying to consistently win college basketball games with a roster full of devout Christians without body art is the Lord's work, but then I realized that's basically the same thing as calling it impossible. You see, the little known fact about Jesus is that he hates watching a university that was constructed in his honor fail to represent him respectably on the hardwood far more than he hates inked illustrations of the crucifix he hung from. I mean - Christ on the cross - you think that man had nails driven through his palms just so he could get a bird's eye view of some shitty basketball? If Oral Roberts holier than thou President Billy Wilson really had a keen ear to the big guy in the sky then he would realize that our savior is not nearly narcissistic enough to think the practice of prayer is more important than the practice of recruiting players that spent more time reading their playbook than 'The Good Book'. If the Messiah descended this very second his first orders of business would be to take over an 8-22 program, rehire its head coach who was given no legitimate chance to succeed, and resurrect their reputation by pursuing kids that respect their craft enough to get their daily allotment of protein on Fridays during lent. That "faith exam" would be replaced by a conditioning test in no time. Why bother recruiting "upstanding" players that can't break a fucking press when you have the support of someone that takes away the sins of the world? If the Son of God thought his belief system were more important than a conference championship than sermons would be given in stadiums and you'd have to enter into steepled buildings to attend sporting events. Scott Sutton was fired (in a way that would make Christ cringe) because he was actually barred from doing the Lord's work...which is running a Jesuit program that would leave Jesus proud instead of praised.
My favorite aspect of this threatening footnote is that I truly don't think it was meant to be seen. Is it really that out of the question that there was a fan sitting front row becoming so overcome with anxiety by the prospect of impending playoff failure during a regular season practice that he needed to unload his potential frustrations via Sharpie? If you ask me, this message would have started "Dear Diary..." if having to use "they" instead of "y'all" wasn't so detrimental to the perceived tone he was using to give himself some temporary peace of mind. Tagging public property with a cautionary demand may seem aggressive, but for one increasingly desperate fan it was nothing more than therapeutic. As he snapped the cap back on his permanent marker, the author of this intimidation took the first deep breath that he's taken since the Shattenkirk trade. He undoubtedly went home and got the sound sleep that he hopes to be deprived of for the next few months. The fear of having to - once again - defend Alexander Ovechkin's lack of a playoff resume needed to be put in writing, even if that writing was just an upside down scribble to the players it was directed at. This season may not be make-or-break for a team with the returning star power of the Washington Capitals, but it's make-or-break for the hearts of those that are emotionally invested in their success. I actually think this stressed out fan wasn't demanding enough. With Kris Letang out for the entirety of the playoffs, it has to be Stanley Cup Finals or bust for the team that has loaded up their roster for just that. That proverbial "...or else" is about as vague as what will happen to the Capitals oft-compromised confidence if - for what seems like the 10th time in 10 years - "their year" doesn't come to fruition. TheComeback- Chances are if you have not seen Matt Ryan this offseason, he may be watching the fourth quarter of the Super Bowl on a daily basis. What would possess a man to watch his team’s greatest collapse in the biggest game of the year? For Ryan, it is his way of coping with reality.
“No, I watched it,” Ryan explained. “I watched it a day after. I watched it two days after and I watched it three days after. For me, it was one of those things where you kind of want to be able to deal with it appropriately.” As Ryan suggests, everybody copes in different ways. “Maybe, that’s different for everybody. Some people bury it away,” Ryan said. “For me it was ‘all right, let’s watch. Does it feel the same way it felt as we were going through it?’” ---- Ladies and gentleman, now introducing the 2017 NFC South Champions.... Your New Orleans Saints!!! Well, that was easy. I thought Matt Ryan was at least going to have to get under center again before he understood how traumatized he was by his team's historically epic collapse. I at least expected him to have to end up caught in an eerily similar situation to that fateful Sunday night in early February before he realized that he's in his own head. Turns out he's so haunted by his own failure that he's become obsessed with it. Just watching it on a loop hoping beyond hope that the same damn movie miraculously has a happy ending for once. And he can pound sand with the whole "everyone copes differently" bullshit, because re-watching a tragedy with the intent of putting it in your rearview doesn't make a single grain of sense. There's a reason there are cameramen at weddings and not funerals, and I would assume it's because disaster isn't supposed to have replay value to the person who experienced it first hand. Matt Ryan is basically Drew Barrymore in '50 First Dates'. He suffered through the athletic equivalent of a car wreck, and now every morning his wife has to play the tape of Kyle Shanahan shitting his pants on the biggest stage in sports or else he goes about his day convinced that the Falcons actually won something for once. I'm honestly starting to feel bad for the guy. Considering his career trajectory of being good once every three seasons, he was already due for a dramatic drop in production before he started watching himself die inside daily. Now taking the division crown will be like taking a fumble from the feet of Cam Newton, taking offense from a Jameis Winston public appearance, or taking pleasure from the repetitive jokes about the team that blew a TWENTY-FIVE point lead in the Super Bowl. In short, it will be easy*. *Assuming the Saints aren't destined to go 7-9 every single year from now until the end of time. |
Categories
All
Archives
January 2020
|