Apparently Russell Wilson Was 'Perceived Wrong' When He Said That 'Recovery Water' Heals Concussions
LBS- Russell Wilson took a lot of heat earlier this week for going overboard while endorsing a beverage brand. The Seattle Seahawks quarterback made the absurd implication that drinking Recovery Water was the reason he did not suffer a concussion in the NFC Championship Game against the Green Bay Packers.
On Friday, Wilson backtracked on his over-the-top sales pitch — sort of.
“I didn’t have a concussion,” he said, per Sheil Kapadia of ESPN.com. “I guess it was perceived wrong. I did not have a concussion. I was saying that I had been consistently drinking the water for a month and a half — five, seven times a day. And I was like, ‘Man, maybe this stuff is helping me out.'”
“I didn’t have a head injury, but what I was trying to say is I think it helped prevent it,” Wilson added. “I think your brain consists of like 75, 80 percent water, so I think that just being hydrated, drinking the recovery water really does help.”
BOOO!!! Look, I hate Russell Wilson for a lot of reasons. He's far too preachy for my liking, he's got a smoking hot girlfriend that he refuses to have sex with, and apparently he's not black enough. Let me clarify that last one. It has nothing to do with his skin color, fashion sense, or taste in music. Russell Wilson isn't black enough because he refuses to stand behind what he believes in. Such a white move to change your opinion based solely on public outcry. It's not a lie if you believe it Russ. You want to tell me that 'Recovery Water' healed your concussion then you may be an idiot, but at least you're an idiot with conviction. I dislike when spokespeople say outlandish things in order to promote their brand, but at least I respect it. I can't sit here and respect Russell Wilson for doing the 100 meter backstroke once he faces a little bit of backlash.
Russell Wilson basically pissed in our face and called it holy water, then turned around a week later and said "well, actually it was just urine, but it's still kind of good for your complexion". Oh really Russ? The specialty water you are promoting helps to keep you hydrated? I'll take a lifetime supply please. A drink that can make you less thirsty? How can I pass up this opportunity! Who even needs a water that promotes cognitive health when you can have a water that keeps your piss clear?
At least when Wilson was talking about 'Recovery Water' and it's ability to heal the sick and help the blind see it was result oriented. Russell had his brain scrambled then he took of sip of this and now his brain is no longer scrambled. Can't argue with that conclusive outcome. Now he's taken about 30 steps back and he's saying that this product just prevents concussions. Pshh, if all I was trying to do was prevent concussions then I would just avoid getting hit in the head really hard. I ordered 'Recovery Water' Russell, not 'Prevent Water'. I want the water that works miracles, not the water that inhibits the need for miracles. That's a drink that I didn't believe in, but I would probably buy just to see what all the hype was about, and wasn't that the whole point anyway?
LBS- Virginia Tech’s football program is under scrutiny for imposing an apparent fine system as discipline for its players.
The system came to light on Wednesday night when Hokies defensive coordinator Bud Foster told the media they would look into fining players.
“We’re going to look at doing that. Some people got in trouble for getting up and punishing people at 6 a.m. in the morning. You need some discipline and I think that’s one way you can potentially do that,” Foster said Wednesday.
“There has been, in place for a number of years, not to this extent, but for a number of years, a little bit of a, and I hate to use the word, but I can’t use another one, but a fine system, disciplinary for our players and such. And I think it’s come out of bowl type stuff,” athletic director Whit Babcock said via the Times-Dispatch. “So I was not aware that we were doing that. It’s not against NCAA rules. It’s probably more prevalent than people think, but I was not aware of it.”
Babcock also said the practice “will be discontinued immediately.”
I'm going to be honest. I really wanted to go rogue on this one. I was all set to defend Virginia Tech for fining their players out of pocket. Was going to take some stance that the only way to successfully deter unwanted behavior is to hit the players where they, quite literally, can't afford to be hit. Really just harp on the fact that you shouldn't fight against a system that is ultimately responsible for your biggest vulnerability. You know, just to be an asshole and play devil's advocate even though I detest everything that the NCAA stands for. Like I said, I WAS going to say those things...
That's when I thought the infractions would read something like "Theft: $20", not "Accidentally dripped on a toilet seat: $100". I thought I was basically going to see a list of rules that would fit seamlessly into a bunk at a teenage summer camp, not a list that looks like it was pulled directly from a concentration camp. Shit, shave off Bud Foster's goatee and die his mustache jet black and Virginia Tech football is basically a mirror image of Auschwitz. With that said, let's delve into some the more ridiculous transgressions on this sheet...
Missed Classes: Thank God I wasn't talented enough athletically to play for the Virginia Tech football team, I guess? No joke, I would have needed every penny of that scholarship if I went there, because I would have paid an entire tuition in fines for missed classes. More importantly, we now know who wasn't crushing the college scene in his day. Missed classes on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday are less expensive than Tuesday and Thursday? Uhh, well worth it. Come on Bud. Football Sundays?Two-for-Tuesdays? Thirsty Thursdays? If you're going to be a dick, at least be a well studied dick.
Study Hall: Wait, is this Virginia Tech football, or Virginia Junior High football? Listen, I understand that it makes sense to have a designated time devoted to the players academics. However, when you institute something that's generally meant for children, you can't turn around and fine them for missing it like they are adults. Not to mention that disciplining a student athlete for being 5 minutes late is just chastising good behavior. In college 5 minutes late is the equivalent of 15 minutes early. My roommate didn't even know what time one of our classes started until he almost showed up 30 minutes late the day of the final.
Dirty Dorm/Dirty Locker: So we aren't even penalizing players are actual infractions anymore? We are just going to penalize them for minor inconveniences? Why don't you just change this rule to read "Being between the ages of 18-21: $50". Young adults are disorganized, that's just a fact. Especially when those young adults are trying balance school, football, and a social life. Cleaning? Ain't nobody got time for that.
I get it. College coaches view football as more than just athletics. They treat it as opportunity to teach their players how to become men. With that said, they aren't truly men until they are getting PAID for their hard work. The NCAA is already treating them like interns, we don't need universities stepping in to treat them like servants. It's okay to mix in a little tough love without bankrupting these kids. At the end of the day, they should be able to grow as people and still enjoy college life. That's not possible when you are jacking their lunch money for missing breakfast.
Independent- A Justin Bieber lookalike who spent $100,000 (£65,000) to look like his idol has been found dead in a motel room, his representative has confirmed.
Toby Sheldon was reported missing on 18 August and was last seen in West Hollywood. The 35-year-old’s body was discovered in a room in Motel 6 in the San Fernando Valley on 21 August.
The circumstances of his death are unknown and no cause of death has been given, according to Deadline. Drugs were found in his room, a law enforcement official was quoted as telling TMZ.
Describing his decision to undergo plastic surgery, he said: “What brought me to Bieber was the whole package: the full cheeks, the full temples, the bright open eyes, the full luscious lips and spacial framing. [He’s] just extraordinarily beautiful.
He told TLC in 2014: “Some people buy fancy cars or fancy mansions. What I do with my money is I get surgery to look more like Justin Bieber.”
And there he is, Toby Shelton, the cautionary tale of why you should never live outside of your means. I am not even talking about finances. I have no idea what Toby Shelton's bank account looked like. I do, however, know that he was in a Motel 6 when he died and that's about the most un-Bieber place in the entire world. There are child laborers in sweat shops that would rather pick up another shift than take up hostage in a $60 a night motel room. The irony here is that if the actual Justin Bieber was in a Motel 6 he would probably kill himself too. You know why? Because that would mean that he somehow became Toby Sheldon. Being Justin Bieber isn't just about looks, it's a lifestyle. A lifestyle that undoubtedly doesn't include stops at a Motel 6, no matter how long they leave the light on for him.
You got to be covered in bad ass tattoos. Have 6 pack abs. Fly in private jets. Fuck a new smoking hot girl every day of your life. Without all of those things you just become a super flat chested dyke. In this case, a super flat chested dyke that looks like they spent every cent of $100,000 on facial augmentation. I should probably be a little more remorseful for a guy that just passed away, but I just don't have it in me. If your dream is to look exactly like someone else then you have a limited amount of time on this Earth anyway. It was a never ending reach for an unattainable goal, and I'm glad he's finally been put out of his misery. He's in a better place now. A place that isn't dominated by plastic surgery and some creepily composed grin. I appreciate that he stayed true to his idol by overdosing on drugs, but would it have killed him (no pun intended) to do it in a Hilton? This isn't just your legacy we are talking about Toby, it's the legacy the man you patterned your face after. Couldn't at least give me a Bieber-esque scene for the Grand Finale? Dude looked like Bieber, but he lived like a bar-back. That's never a recipe for success.
BSO- A man’s date with his mistress went wrong after his wife spotted them together on TV during the live broadcast of a football match.
The man in Harbin, Heilongjiang province took his mistress to a football game while under the guise of hanging out with colleagues last week.
The pair did not wear football shirts like most fans, making them stand out when a cameraturned to the audience. The man’s wife and mother-in-law saw the pair on TV and “immediately went to the stadium to capture the mistress,” according to Tencent News.
The angry mother and daughter dragged the mistress out of the stadium by her hair, all the while cursing her. The dramatic scene drew dozens of onlookers who recorded the incident on their phones.
The three women later got into a taxi while the man disappeared, according to witnesses interviewed by Tencent News.
You know what, this may go against every commandment in the Bro Bible, but I am glad this fucking guy got caught cheating at a football game. I am not the cheating type, but let that be a lesson to all men out there not to take your side piece to a sporting event that's going to be broadcast on television. Do they not have sitcoms in China? Every time you go to a public place with someone you aren't supposed to be with and there are cameras you are going to somehow get caught. It's a time honored tradition as old as 'Saved By The Bell'. Shit, I'm just surprised an errant ball didn't mysteriously leave the field of play and clock this guy upside the head. That's what he gets for not only spitting in the face of fate, but not even dressing the part as he did it. I know it makes it easier to see with a little red box drawn around them, but I still don't understand how two people that are dressed relatively normally look so out of place. It's like they are emanating an aura of mischief. Must be one of those cases where you can just tell, based on almost nothing, that someone is acting shady.
Let's take away the fact that there are cameras around. A football game is a TERRIBLE place to bring a date. In fact, it's a better place to bring your wife. You and your wife know each other. You don't have to talk much. You're not trying to get in at other's pants. You can just sit there and enjoy the game without interruption. Generally I would say a male is the perfect companion for such an event, but if you had to bring a female, your wife is absolutely the choice. You don't try to impress a girl by bringing her to an event where she is not the focus of your attention. For someone who's fucking multiple women, he certainly doesn't know too much about them.
Hey, I don't want to tell my fellow man how to choose a mate, but if you are a pathological cheater, don't marry the woman that's going to get in her car, buy a ticket to the game, and rip your date out of the stadium by her hair. Especially when that girl has enough trust issues to be watching a game she doesn't care about in hopes of catching you doing exactly what you were doing. That's not something you learn about someone later on in the relationship. You either know you got yourself a crazy bitch, or you do a hell of a job of ignoring the warning signs. I don't know the geography of China, but if I were him I would find the quickest way out of the country. Don't worry about your belongings, they are already ashes.
Ronda Rousey- "I don't know if you saw the Floyd thing, where he said, 'When you make $300 million in a night, give me a call.' I actually did the math and given the numbers in my last fight, I'm actually the highest-paid UFC fighter, and I'm a woman. And I think I actually make two to three times more than he does per second. So when he learns to read and write, he can text me then."
Floyd Mayweather- “Big bank take little bank. Let’s play and see how much money you got. Last time I checked I was #1 on Forbes. She will never be at my status. Keep trying to get publicity.”
Yeah, yeah, I know how crazy this sounds, but don't be quick to write this off as the mindless rumblings of a lunatic. Let's look at the facts here. These two won't shut the fuck up about one another. They are from two entirely different organizations. Neither's finances affect the others. Yet, despite never having a single face to face interaction, they refuse to stop hurling insulting at each other. I, for one, can't help but think they would rather be engaging in a different form of tongue lashing. This reads like every elementary romance that has ever spawned from throwing rocks at your crush from across the playground.
"But, Floyd can't read or write!" Uhhh, and? He's basically the high school drop in every movie ever made that pulls up outside your parents house on a Harley. You know how often that guy gets laid? Always.
"But Ronda Rousey has too much pride to sleep with a known domestic abuser!" Well, if the rumors that she is currently dating Travis Browne, a married UFC fighter and alleged wife beater, are true then we may have to let go of our squeaky clean perception of Ronda Rousey. Who would have known? Floyd Mayweather is her type!
"But Floyd disrespected Ronda by not knowing who she was!" You know what turns a woman on more than not acknowledging her existence? Fucking NOTHING.
Face it, just like most women, Ronda needs to be challenged. She needs a real man. A man that can protect her (or apparently do the exact opposite). A man that can take control physically in the bedroom. Hell, I can't believe I didn't see it before. Floyd Mayweather is that man. There's sexual tension dripping from every overly critical word they utter in reference to one another. It has all the makings of the world's greatest hate sex. An interracial sexual encounter between the toughest female on the planet and the best boxer in the world? Throw that shit on Pay Per View. If these two are so concerned about money they could both stand to make a shit ton of it. Hell, It'll be the first time in a long time that Floyd Mayweather will be getting paid to be the aggressor. That in itself makes it worth the price of admission.
Daily Dot- Leaked files from last week’s Ashley Madison dump reveal plans by Avid Life Media (ALM), the site's parent company, to launch an app that allows men to rate each other’s wives, the Daily Dot has discovered.
The app, which was going to be called “What’s Your Wife Worth,” also appears to attach a dollar amount to the women based on a their rating. Its design seems similar to other apps that enable users to rate images of women and men based on looks.
In a June 2013 email, Noel Biderman, ALM’s chief executive, offered some feedback on the app’s development. “Choice should be ‘post your wife’ and ‘bid on someone's wife,’” he wrote, adding: “I am not sure we should be asking for real names—rather usernames.”
The app was apparently never completed. Biderman asked “what ever happened to our app?” in a February 2014 email. A colleague replied that the app was “horribly developed.” An installation file for the incomplete Android application is attached to the email.
If you want to question Ashley Madison on their ethics then you have more than enough information to do so, but don't you dare question their business development. What's the hardest part about expanding your brand? Say it with me now, "KNOWING YOUR TARGET AUDIENCE". Ashley Madison and it's employees may not uphold the highest of moral codes, but they know what their consumer wants. Now, this app never even got close to off the ground, probably because it's socially frowned upon to attach monetary values to nonconsenting woman on a website. In fact, it's pretty much the harmless, online version of selling women into prostitution, but that's not neither here nor there. The point remains that a man that is willing to use a website dedicated to cheating to commit adultery is the same kind of man that harbors a great deal of concern for the looks of the women whose company he keeps. While I don't necessarily agree with the premise of throwing your wife's picture on a website and having a bunch of strangers argue about her aesthetics, I do realize that it has a better chance of saving a marriage than ruining one.
Look at it this way, you got a bunch of dudes that undoubtedly don't respect their wives. They wouldn't be fucking broads off the internet if that weren't the case. 100% of the people on Ashley Madison are in a broken relationship, whether they realize it or not. Well, this may seem superficial, but one of the best ways for a man to regain appreciation for his life partner is by having a bunch of other dudes tell him how hot she is. Pretty simple concept. It feels good to have something that other men want. Now, of course you run the risk of finding out that you are married to a packing mule, but in that case the marriage was beyond repair anyway. Did this whole blog objectify the FUCK out of women? Of course. Just try to keep in mind we are discussing the intrinsic value of an application that appraises woman based on a picture posted by the person that vowed to love them for better or worse. Pretty tough to come out of that one looking like a feminist.
P.S. Sophia is a 6.5 tops. I wouldn't pay more then $20 fake internet dollars for a girl in that silly ass hat.
A Buckeyes Fan Underwent Heart Surgery In Michigan, And His Biggest Concern Was Waking Up A Wolverines Fan
On the surface? Just a little kid making one of those completely irrational little kid statements that'll leave every parent clamoring about his cuteness. However, if you can't relate to this little guy than you don't have sports running through your blood. This kid basically said "hey Doc, I would rather die than become a Michigan fan". That's a level of dedication to his team that I can respect. Hell, this kid probably thinks that Michigan sucks so much that he is convinced the only way to become a Wolverines fan is by a doctor surgically inserting it in your heart. Plus, who hasn't harbored an irrational hatred for a region based solely off it's sports teams. This kid probably doesn't even realize that Michigan is a state. Probably gets that question wrong on his geography test every time. Michigan isn't a region, it's a football team, and it's a football team this kid hates with at the entirety of his soul. That's basically the reason I hate Philadelphia. That entire city is a dumpster fire and I am basing that solely off of my experiences with their sports fans at their sports venues. I have never been to Cleveland. I just assume it's not worth it because they haven't won a championship since The Great Depression. Does anyone view Oakland as anything other than a cess pool of grown men in costumes running around stabbing each other? I know I don't. Like it or not, sports shape the way we view certain areas of the country. So while it's adorable that Ivan thinks a doctor can change his rooting interest, I don't question his line of thinking, because I would rather take my chances with divine intervention than go under the knife at a Penn State affiliated medical center.
Get well soon little man. Football season is right around the corner and the Buckeyes need you at full strength.
NJ.com- Former Rutgers offensive lineman Anthony Davis tweeted one of the violent videos of Wednesday's Virginia shooting, drawing scrutiny on Twitter for posting the graphic footage.
Videos from alleged gunman Bryce Williams of Wednesday morning's Virginia shooting of two WDBJ employees and an interview subject during a live broadcast were posted on Wednesday. While Twitter quickly removed Williams' content, it still remains viewable in other forms.
The video Davis posted shows Williams standing behind the three victims and then opening fire. The video is still posted on Davis' Twitter page as of 1:30 Wednesday afternoon.
Davis quickly received backlash from other Twitter users, demanding that he delete the Tweet. Davis did not directly reply to any comments, but he did send this Tweet 14 minutes after posting the video, which has since been deleted.
Bravo Star Ledger, bravo. Grind that ax, and grind it good. There's your hard hitting news of the week. The story of a disgruntled former employee murdering an innocent reporter and cameraman? Nope. The racial undertones of an African American homosexual committing that needless execution? Nah. It's the former Rutgers offensive lineman that tweeted out a video, albeit horrific, that literally 90% of the world saw anyway. That's fucking journalism baby! A "trusted" online publication ignoring the social ramifications of a VIRAL MURDER to continue to run the Rutgers name through the mud.
Jesus Christ, they are starting to make my stance on all things 'New York Rangers' look astute and objective. Still wondering why Rutgers AD Julie Hermann would love to see the Star Ledger, metaphorically speaking, go down in flames? This is just a guess, but it's probably because they are the only newspaper that cries 'SCANDAL!' every time they hear the 'R' word. Is this just a desperate attempt to get people to forget that they tried to turn an innocent e-mail from Kyle Flood to a faculty member into WaterGate? I would be disgruntled too if my 'story' got buried after Kyle Flood released a rational response basically laughing it off just a half hour later. I guess I got to admire the perseverance? The Star Ledger just keeps dropping the anvil hoping that sooner or later Rutgers is standing underneath it. The Wile E. Coyote of online news, just searching for a leg to stand on...
Do I agree with Anthony Davis tweeting out that video? Not really. It's certainly not something I would do. However, he's well within his right to do so, and I don't think it did anything to increase the viewership of the incident. If you wanted to watch it, and I use the term 'wanted' extremely loosely, then you were going to watch it, whether Anthony Davis shared it on social media or not. Unless we are going to assume that the 100,000 people that posted it before him are all supporters of this lunatic, then maybe we can stop short of implying that Anthony Davis is too. I know this may be hard for The Star Ledger to understand, but just because a twitter handle of a Rutgers is graduate is attached to a video of a senseless murder doesn't mean that it's owner was complicit in pulling the trigger.
Metro- She may be the world’s premier cartoon heroine, but according to one school, Wonder Woman and her Golden Lasso of Truth are too are absolutely not suitable lunchbox fodder.
According to Redditor twines18, who posted a copy of the letter and offending lunchbox on Imgur, the lunchbox contravened the schools dress code which states children aren’t allowed to bring ‘violent images’ into the building.
The letter states: ‘We have defined “violent characters” as those who solve problems using violence. Super heroes certainly fall into that category.’
But despite much outrage on Reddit, twines18 pointed out that the child’s parents aren’t upset with the school. In fact, he claims they ‘find it more hilarious than anything.’
The ultimate conundrum. What ever shall we do? Let a female super hero get marginalized, or let violence, in the form of a plastic food carrier, run rampant in our schools? The only worthy competitor for irrational outrage is equal, but opposite irrational outrage. This is like the Lakers/Celtics of misplaced anger. Looks like our growing concern over violence won this time, but you bet your ass that the feminists will put the work in over the offseason and come back stronger next year.
This is a great start. You really got to attack these problems at their root. Start with lunch boxes, and then we can worry about shielding the impressionable minds of children from the news, contact sports, every action movie ever made, and most importantly, any and all forms of military activity. Matter of fact, it really leaves me questioning why we are poisoning our youth by having a class called 'History'. You know how you show children that violence is the best way to solve their problems? Teach them about our country's past. These bastards that keep shooting up schools? They are just the kids that didn't fall asleep during Social Studies.
I don't want to generalize, but with the increasing pussification of school districts you really have to wonder if teachers have just quit on our children. You send your kids to school to learn something and all they end up learning is that everything is bad. Why go through the work of teaching kids the difference between right and wrong when you can just tell them everything is wrong. We have gotten to the point where that is the safest way for school districts to avoid being reprimanded. Why explain to a child that Wonder Woman protecting the world through the use of violence is the polar opposite of punching someone you don't like on the playground? Don't teachers have it hard enough trying help the youth of America memorize their times tables?! You want to be a parent? You better be ready to educate your own sniveling little brat, because it appears that school has just become a place to send your kid for a few hours while you work to provide for them. A place that's more concerned with covering their own ass than fucking teaching anyone anything.
P.S. I'd rather starve than be the little kid bringing his lunch to school in a brown paper bag. Those fuckers are the ones that grow up to be violent.
I really, really want to criticize this camera guy. After all, he really only has two jobs. Keep the camera shooting at Usain, and don't violently run into the back of his ankles when he's not looking. That's the extent of his job description. While that may be seem like a relatively light workload, that definitely doesn't account for the newness of the technology. Yeah, segways have been around for awhile now, but hands free segways/hoover boards are a fairly new phenomenon. A new phenomenon that, as of now, is much better suited for athletes and rappers that are trying to look cool in public. The fact that these machines don't require hands does open up a world of possibilities in terms of multi-tasking. There's no doubt about that, but can we maybe focus on making sure this guy has mastered his motorized big wheel before we give him the task of closely following an all-world athlete? You learn to skate, and THEN you learn to play hockey. They basically had this guy try on his first pair of skates and then threw him out there on defense during the State Championship.
"Hey Usain, after you finish there's going to be a guy riding directly behind you on a hands-free motor vehicle, that requires close attention to weight distribution, and he's going to be putting all his focus on the 50 pound camera he's holding."
Seems a little more ridiculous now that you think about it, right? I'm not blaming the guy that got blindsided during his celebratory lap, but we, as a society, we need to be more skeptical of technology. Trusting this guy to flawlessly execute a camera shot on a vehicle that is like 6 minutes old is like hopping on the first ever attempted flight with the Wright brothers and falling asleep before takeoff. Usain Bolt shouldn't be frantically looking around for any signs of impending danger like he's trying to toddler proof his house, but since his legs are his life I might steer clear of people whose job it is to drive while distracted.
What constitutes something being considered a pattern? It has to happen more than twice, right? Good, the last thing I want to do is become known as the person that disparages people that commit suicide or those that have suicidal thoughts. We'll just consider the fact that I am a couple paragraphs away from doing so for the second time in two days an unfortunate coincidence.
I have a question. What ever made Jonathan Martin think he was cut out to play professional football? I am not even talking about his talent. Clearly he had enough of that given that he was selected in the second round of the NFL draft. I am talking about his mental stability. Dude, has been a head case with no self esteem since he was 10 years old. Did he think that type of personality was going to fit seemingly into an, often off color, NFL locker room? Did he think that the competitiveness and the national exposure that comes with an NFL roster spot were things that meshed well with his insecurities? How can he get along with teammates when he can't even get along with himself? Word to the wise Jonathan, it's much easier to accept someone if they already accept themselves. I find it very hard to believe that there wasn't a single fucking person that took Martin for who he was as he grew up. We aren't exactly talking about Jackie Robinson here. He's not the first light skinned black dude to go to a primarily white school. He's not the first teenager to feel uncomfortable in social settings, or do something he didn't feel comfortable doing in an attempt to be 'cool'. That shit is just part of growing up. The entire plight of Jonathan Martin seems pretty clear to me. He has no fucking identity. He's still is that "chubby, goofy, socially-isolated, sensitive kid getting bullied" because he has never let himself be anything but that person. That person probably shouldn't be on a field with the strongest, meanest athletes in the world as they attempt to manhandle one another. Shit, I don't even know how that kid lasted through playground games without crying, nevermind the most physically demanding occupation on the planet.
Yeah, Richie Incognito was kind of a dickhead, and he deserves, in part, the social backlash that he received. However, let's not let that overshadow the real issue here. Jonathan Martin did an awful job of choosing his career path. I don't care how good he was, he stood no chance of having a lengthy, successful career in the NFL. He's a grown man. He has to own that decision. That's not his high school's fault. It's not Stanford's fault. It's not the NFL's fault. It's not even Richie Incognito's fault. In NFL terms, Jonathan Martin is kind of a pussy, and while there's nothing wrong with that, his negligence in recognizing it let to a scandal that now defines him.
You want me to dust off that transcript that shows an adequate 'B+' in Psychology? If I were playing therapist I would say that it's very telling that Jonathan Martin needed to give a second hand account of a first hand history. Dude can't even talk about his problems as if he were the one that experienced them. I hope he gets the help he needs. It's long overdue.
First of all, Happy National Dog Day. Second of all, I am not entirely sure what this picture effects more, my view on Ken Daneyko or my view on foofy dogs. I think I'm just going to go ahead and meet in the middle and say that it's clear Ken Daneyko has a soft side and it's clear that foofy dogs aren't all that deserving of the bad rap they receive. Really it just goes to show that Ken Daneyko is happily married to a woman more attractive than him and he's willing to make my sacrifices. Let's keep it real, if this were Kenny, 'The King', from back in the day he would have a pair of twin pit bulls slurping Budweiser out of his old hockey helmets. They would certainly do the theme of this picture more justice than two ankle nibblers that are hardly capable of tearing through an authentic NHL jersey, but I digress. Kenny Daneyko the family man has come a long way from flexing and doing WWE style promos in the locker room mirror, and with that maturity has come a hot wife,a pair of kids that have a sick pair of pipes, and two little girly dogs. Not a bad life for a man that has more Stanley Cup rings than original teeth.
Bravo Dano, Bravo.
BSO- A California high school football coach has been relieved of his duty, after he appeared in a rap music video, the Los Angeles Times reported.
Otis Newell, a father of two whose wife in the same school district, was fired as the defensive coordinator at Simi Valley High School because the district objected to his portrayal of a drug dealer operating out of an ice cream truck in a rap video.
Another coach who saw the hip-hop video, titled “U Need It, I Got It,” went to officials to complain.
Newell, raised in the Watts section of Los Angeles, explained that the depiction is what he saw as a youth.
“It’s a depiction of pretty much how I grew up, and there’s no secret that in the city where I come from, drugs and gang violence were everyday parts of my life,” he told KCAL 9 and sister station KCBS in Los Angeles.
Love it. Love everything about it. From the high school football coach that was fired for being a rapper that promoted selling drugs to his inability to comprehend why that's frowned upon. Comparing hustling drugs to hustling to make a tackle? GOLD. All hustles were created equal! Such a fantastic key word to throw out there in this situation. Who can argue with that logic? If that doesn't get him his job back, nothing will. I'll give him this, the guy is still chasing his dream. A high school defensive coordinator with a wife and two daughters still shooting music videos, with above average production value, might I add? That's dedication. Especially when you have to know that all it takes is one person to see that and you're fired. Probably not the most responsible thing to do as a family man, but I'll be damned if it ain't the gangsta thing to do. Fuck logic. This is hip hop baby!
I wish I was a fly on the wall for the firing...
"Umm, Otis, is this you selling drugs out of an ice cream truck in this rap video?"
"You know that you can't do that when you are in charge of a bunch of developing, impressionable kids, right?"
"Well, if they see an authority figure doing something like that they might think it's okay for them to do it too."
"You gotta hustle in this world."
"Otis, I like you. Please say something sensical and take down this video so I don't have to fire you."
"You need it, I got it."
"Sigh, pack our things Mr. Newell."
There's a lot of jobs that you can simultaneously do when you are involved in the rap game, but working at a high school is undoubtedly not on that list. In fact, it probably tops the list of jobs you can't do while rapping. He had to know he was going to get fired, right? Hell, I don't know, the guy has more degrees than I do, I would imagine he's got to have something up his sleeve. I guess the good news is that is that you're only one mediocre hit song away from fame in the new era of hip hop?
I Can Appreciate The Man That Sued For 10 Million Dollars In An Attempt To Copyright A Chicken Sandwich
Source- There are many things you can copyright, but a chicken sandwich is not one of them, a US appeals court panel ruled Friday.
Because of the ruling, a former employee of a fried chicken franchise is not entitled to a percentage of the profits from a sandwich he "authored," wrote Chief Judge Jeffrey Howard in the decision of the US Court of Appeals for the First Circuit. The plaintiff, Norberto Colón Lorenzana, had filed a complaintseeking "All the earnings produced by his creation"—an amount not less than $10 million.
"The sandwich consists of a fried chicken breast patty, lettuce, tomato, American cheese, and garlic mayonnaise on a bun," the judge wrote. Colón had claimed that both the recipe and the name of the so-called Pechu Sandwich "is a creative work, of which he is the author," the judge noted.
Colón failed to persuade a district court, which pointed out that the Copyright Act protects works of authorship in eight categories, none of which includes chicken breasts placed between two slices of bread. The appeals court upheld the ruling.
"A recipe—or any instructions—listing the combination of chicken, lettuce, tomato, cheese, and mayonnaise on a bun to create a sandwich is quite plainly not a copyrightable work," Howard wrote. The name of the food item is also not copyrightable, because copyright protection cannot be extended to "words and short phrases, such as names, titles, and slogans," Howard wrote.
I think we can all agree that frivolous lawsuits are just another phenomenon that are contributing to the downfall of society. I can't even imagine the money and man hours that have been wasted in taking nonsensical arguments to the judicial system. With that said, we have spent about 6 months talking about the air pressure in a football, so we have set a a pretty terrible precedent. A precedent that inevitably embraces a person's right to have their day in court, no matter how absurd their claim.
You want to hate the man that is trying to copyright a chicken sandwich for $10 million dollars than I can't fault you, but I certainly can disagree. Outside of any success financially, having your own sandwich is like the pinnacle of manhood. Now, imagine if that sandwich happened to be a staple on every American dining menu in the country. Sure, the chances of winning that lawsuit are next to nothing, but do you know why frivolous lawsuits have become a problem? Because sometimes people find a loophole. Sometimes some dumb broad, with no hand eye coordination, dumps scoring hot coffee on herself and walks away a millionaire. For every 1,000 cases that get thrown on to the scrap heap after being laughed out of court, there's always one that unites a fool and his unearned money. If the reward is $10 million dollars and the ability to call any ordinary chicken sandwich your own, then the risk of lawyer fees and a day in court is well worth it. Even if the panel of judges that presided over this ruling did waste a day where they could have been overseeing something important. If the system is broken then it's our duty as citizens to purge it for all it's worth until someone decides to fix it. Trying make 8 figures off a $2 sandwich is just the American way of achieving the American dream.
(Insert relevant 'Curb Your Enthusiasm' clips here)
Well, there's only two things that could have happened here. Either Junior Galette finally shaving one of the best beards in the game is responsible for his torn achilles, or karma finally caught up to him. I'm not big on religion, and I recognize that there are endlessly of examples of people whose lack of character is not conducive to their wealth of success. With that said, Junior Gallette has remained fairly healthy his entire career up until this point. Could it be coincidence that months after being outed for whipping a women with a belt, and weeks after airing his former teammates dirty laundry that Junior Galette's season came to a premature end? Sure, it COULD be a coincidence. However, I think, for once, I am going to view this through the scope of "everything happens for a reason". Even torn ACL's. Just goes to show that even tricking the dumbest owner in professional football into signing you can't save you from that bitch Karma. Hell, she's been hunting you down ever since you smacked her homegirl in the back of the head with your Louis Vuitton belt. I want to feel bad for a player that I rooted valiantly for, especially when this injury is so catastrophic to his career, but I just can't. Not after the second, third, fourth, and fifth chance he was given. I guess the NFL's failure to suspend Galette was based more on their belief that fate would eventually that the reigns of a man that produced that much stupidity in one offseason. I think I speak for all Saints fans when I say that I'm shocked that Galette's torn tendon is likely responsible for the end of his career, and not his mouth.
Gawker- In the Wall Street Journal today, Jason L. Riley has a very... interesting reading of what Straight Outta Compton and N.W.A. were all about:
"The film is more interested in presenting the rappers as authentic voices of decent young black men in poor communities who are regularly victimized by police. Still, the viewer can’t help but notice that our protagonists regularly engage in criminal behavior, dress like gang members in areas infested by ruffians and defy the police who suspect them of being up to no good. Their problem is not that the cops harass them but that the cops interfere with their lawbreaking."
"In one of the film’s early scenes, designed to illustrate the kinds of experiences that shaped the rappers’ upbringing, a young Ice Cube is riding home on a yellow school bus when a group of gang members pulls alongside in a sedan. Some of the kids on the bus start shouting out the window and playfully flashing gang signs at the men in the car. The gang members respond by stopping the school bus, forcing their way inside and putting a pistol to the head of one of the teenage taunters. The scene suggests that the biggest bane of the black community isn’t the police officer but the black hoodlum. Yet Ice Cube and other gangsta rappers would go on to great fame and fortune penning lyrics that claimed the reverse."
You mean to tell me that not all gang members in Compton are good guys and not all members of the LAPD are racist? To think that I wasted all that money on a movie ticket for a cinematic experience that was based, in part, on a false narrative! I can't believe the members of an all black, ground breaking rap group painted themselves as a heroic bunch of upstart artists that were being discriminated against by the police when they HELPED PRODUCE THE MOVIE. Where has all the integrity in filmmaking gone?
This may be hard for a right winged journalist that probably didn't see a black person until college to understand, but we know that the story told by 'Straight Outta Compton' is a glorified version of their history. Let me ask you a question Mr. Riley. If you were writing an autobiography about yourself, would you include a chapter about the time you drank too much vodka, threw up on your girlfriend, and pissed yourself in public? I didn't think so. We paid for production value. If we wanted hard hitting facts we would have stayed home and watched documentaries on Netflix. The people that were interested enough in hip hop music, and more specifically N.W.A., to watch a two and half hour movie about them know that they had their fair share of skeletons in their closet. I think the film actually did a more than adequate job of showing that they weren't only victims of unenforced police brutality, but also victims of the area in which they were raised, the peers they grew up amongst, and at times, even their own decision making.
My favorite part about this Wall Street Journal review of 'Straight Outta Compton'? The fact that you know this subject got passed around the room a half dozen times until someone was like "Hey Jason, you're turn to fall on the grenade buddy". This guy had less than zero interest in going to see this movie. I picture him in there with a notepad and a pen. Constantly scratching his head and furrowing his brow. Furiously scribbling down notes. I bet he had "the bane of the black community" underlined like 5 times. Can't even blame him, that's just a hard hitting journalistic reference right there. He definitely didn't realize that red and blue are gang colors, just assumed that all the ruffians in black clothes were trying to fit into an atmosphere of crime. You think it's a coincidence that this guy choose one of the first scenes as the main example in his article? There's not a shot in hell he sat through that whole movie. He probably already had a full page of notes, front and back, and was safely in his car relieved that he didn't let a hard 'N' slip in public by the 45 minute mark. Let's be honest, if he watched the whole movie he probably would have written an entire editorial about how Jerry Heller is a victimized, sympathetic figure. I know I sound pessimistic, but I seriously might pen a letter to the Wall Street Journal requesting that Jason L. Riley cover all predominantly black music, movies, and social phenomenons. I don't know about you but I'm psyched to see the result.
Think Progress- A group of black women were escorted off of a train taking them on a wine tour after a white woman complained they were laughing loudly. After the women, who are all members of a book club, exited the train they were met by a group of police officers.
According to a Facebook posting by Lisa Renee Johnson, one of the women in the group, the trouble started when a woman approached them and said she was annoyed by their laughter.
The complaint that this is “not a bar” is perplexing considering the primary purpose of the train is to serve alcohol.
A maître d’ also told them they were making too much noise. Asked who was complaining, he said that “people’s faces are uncomfortable.”
Johnson said the group of women — 10 black and one white — were then paraded through all six cars and escorted off the train where police were waiting for them.
The group received a full refund but Johnson also wants an apology. “It was humiliating. I’m really offended to be quite honest. I felt like it was a racist attack on us. I feel like we were being singled out,” Johnson told the San Francisco Chronicle.
Word of the incident spread of social media under the hashtag #laughingwhileblack.
For those of you that have seen a Kevin Hart movie in the theatres, you know where I am going with this. For those of you that have not, I hope you have a healthy lung capacity, because this observation is sure to take your breathe away. Black people, even when sober, have a tendency to be loud in public places. That's only exacerbated when they are together in close quarters. It probably shouldn't be news to anybody that when you let a group of black women on a train you are probably leaving yourself open to a number of noise complaints. This isn't a racist statement at all. Trains are fucking MISERABLE. Black women may be loud, but you can bet your ass they are entertaining. Just because a couple of stuffy white folk are used to sitting in silence in an enclosed space for a number of hours doesn't mean you get to persecute the people that are making the most of a crappy situation. Who would you rather sit next? This old haggard twat whose wrist looks like a road map...
or these fun loving women that happen to be African American?
Let's play a little game called "Who Is The Real Victim?"
Option A: The sober white woman on a wine tour that is annoyed by laughter.
Option B: A group of black women that got kicked off a wine tour for laughing.
Fucking repressed white women. You will never meet a bigger group of hypocrites in the world. They are the first people to get flustered by the smallest inconvenience when sober, and the first people to be unbearably loud and obnoxious after one too many glasses of wine. Ever walked into a house where there was a game of Bunco going on? It's like sticking your fucking head in a jet engine. One time I stopped by my parents house to pick up clothes during Bunco and I had to check my pockets for my hearing when I left. Yup, same people that are ready to burn the mall to the ground when 'The Gap' discontinues their favorite blouse are the same people that take a sip alcohol and automatically revert to white girl wasted. Drunk white women make DMX sound like Mozart. The stereotype that black people are loud exists for a reason, but give some suburban house wives enough chardonnay and they'll make black people blush (metaphorically speaking, of course). I'm not even saying that the people that complained are racist, but I am saying that they are a bunch of woeful bitches that could suck the fun out of a baptist church. We'll save the prejudice label for the people that didn't say anything, but "looked uncomfortable". Actions speak louder than words. If you look uncomfortable around a certain minority you might as well just throw a white hood over your head and move to the South. I have done a lot of babbling about "victims" and "crime", but it's probably good that they got these women off the train before those silent, socially awkward motherfuckers opened up their mouth to reveal their closed mind. Regardless, what I think what we can all agree on is that an aggravated caucasian broad on a wine tour does not know how to 'do' a wine tour. Although, maybe that's an institutional problem...
P.S. As far as hashtags go...
Apparently Buying His Son A Mermaid And Broadcasting It To The World Makes This Guy The Best Dad Ever?
Metro- When his son Azai picked one out following a party he was over the moon, and even used the opportunity to promise his kids that he will ‘love and accept’ them no matter what life they choose.
Mikki said that when Azai first chose the doll it ‘didn’t surprise me at all’.
‘Azai is equally fascinated by princesses and robots. One moment he’s all boy, the next he’s expressing a softer, more angelic side,’ he said.
‘For me this behaviour rings more authentic than playing one note all the time.’
Rather than judging his children, Mikki says his job as a dad ‘is to provide a safe playing field for my boys to play whatever game they choose, or better yet, create their own game’.
Don't get it misconstrued, I appreciate this guy's message. Accept your son or daughter for who they are, no matter what path that choose in life. Seems simple enough. Didn't need some dad to sit there in a hot car videotaping his sons and their historically feminine toys to teach me that. However, for someone that seems so gung-ho about letting his children make their own choices, he certainly did a hell of job of putting his kid in a box. I'm pretty terrible with kid's ages, but I am going to go out on a limb and say that child is probably like 7ish. Does a seven year old having one mermaid doll automatically make him predisposed to dick? I understand that sometimes homosexual tendencies exist at a young age, but maybe let him grow up a bit before you go broadcasting it to the internet. Yeah, I get it, this guy didn't actually say that his kid was gay, but he certainly implied it. You don't make a viral video about your kid actively choosing an Ariel doll unless you are making an assumption about his sexuality. I would bet a nice chunk of change that their are heterosexual guys out there with some Little Mermaid skeletons in their closet.
This is the same thing as signing your son up for Little League, and assuming that it's because he is a prototypical male that love sports. Maybe he just wants to get up close and personal with boys in tight pants. Maybe he really ran out that infield single because he was looking forward to an ass slap from a teammate or two when he got back to the dugout. You may think your child is beaming with homosexual flare right now, but you might change your tune when he's sitting in the living room in his underwear and poking around at Ariel's subhuman rack. Maybe he just heard the term "chasing tail" on television and completely misunderstood it. Being an open minded father is a good thing, but that way of thinking shouldn't include an over analyzation of every decision your child makes. If this kid grows up to be gay this Dad is a hero, but if he grows up to straight it won't take long for him to resent his father for airing his most embarrassing purchase to the entire internet. This self proclaimed 'Dad Of The Year' candidate may be progressive, but that doesn't mean he's not presumptuous.
CBS- A boarding school in central Massachusetts is being sued by parents who claim the school’s Wi-Fi signal is making their son sick.
The Worcester Telegram & Gazette reports that the unidentified plaintiffs have filed a lawsuit against the Fay School in Southboro. The parents say their 12-year-old son has “Electromagnetic Hypersensitivity Syndrome” and has suffered headaches, nosebleeds and nausea since the school activated a stronger wireless signal in 2013.
The family is seeking $250,000 in damages and wants the school to switch to Ethernet cable Internet or turn down the Wi-Fi signal, according to The Telegram.
The school said in a statement that a company analyzed the Wi-Fi and found the signal is well within federal safety limits.
“Isotrope’s assessment was completed in January 2015 and found that the combined levels of access point emissions, broadcast radio and television signals, and other RFE emissions on campus ‘were substantially less than one ten-thousandth (1/10,000th) of the applicable safety limits (federal and state).” the school said.
Well kids, it was fun while it lasted, but it appears it's time to shut down the advancement of technology. Yeah, I know the internet possesses endless value in the classroom, but fucking Matty Migraine over here has an underdeveloped brain. We can't risk giving him a nosebleed or anything. Maybe it's wrong for me to downplay "electromagnetic hypersensitivity syndrome". After all, I don't know what it's like to have it. It's possible that it really does has a negative affect on this kid's life. With that said, it's not on society to seize to progress just because one kid's brain hurts. Would it be inappropriate for me to suggest home schooling?
It's 2015, I can get the internet on a motherfucking aircraft thousands of feet in the sky. If WiFi really gives this kid nausea then his body should have already become acclimated to being nauseous all the time. There is signals flying over our heads, or into our phones, or between our ears literally all day. If your body can't handle that then it's a failure of evolution, not a failure of the school system. Survival of the fittest buddy. Adapt or die. I don't want to blame the kid, but those are some antiquated genes his parents passed on to him. I view electromagnetic hypersensitivity syndrome the same way I view AIDS. That disease is a past generations problem. We outgrew that shit. If you are the one person that hasn't then you should be isolated, if not quarantined. We can't risk letting a sickness from the invisible awesomeness that allows us to scour the internet from the most unlikely of places becoming a 'thing'. This kid is like patient zero for an illness that could take down the world as we know it. The last thing we should be worried about is integrating him into a public setting with a bunch of vulnerable children. We need to move this family to a house in the middle of the woods where he can live out the rest of his life as a member of the bottom of the food chain. Make no mistake, if you gave everyone else in that school the choice between this kid's health and the requirement of Ethernet cables to use 'Google' then we are looking at a unanimous decision. This kid is like a grandparent. He's not built for the age of the internet and he can't do menial tasks, like walking around in public, without being in pain. Unfortunately, much like the older generations, that doesn't bode well for the remainder of his lifespan.
P.S. ...Or this is just a blatant attempt at a shameless money grab. Got to respect the move of blaming invisible wavelengths for causing sickness.
For starters I just want to thank Bill Simmons for numbering those tweets. Made it exponentially easier to remember where I was when I was embedding them, and for that, he get's a tip of the hat from me.
Now on to more pressing matters. Hmm, where to begin? Well, for one, I have no idea what goes on behind closed doors in regards to the management of the Los Angeles Clippers. It's pretty easy for Bill Simmons to say that they are a train wreck and that Steve Ballmer is clueless when he gives ZERO examples following such a damning criticism. Makes it pretty hard for the general public or the Twittersphere to either agree or disagree with his outrageous proclamations. I assume he is using his standing as a season ticket holder and his proximity to the franchise to justify being "in the know"? I guess that would make these statements seem a little more concrete. That is, until you do a little digging and realize that Simmons has constantly harbored an irrational amount of contempt towards the Clippers since Doc Rivers came over from Boston.
Like I said, I don't know if the Clippers are a shit show behind the scenes. All I know is what I see on the basketball court. Last year that happened to be a team that was 10 minutes away from the Western Conference finals. This year it's a team whose success is yet to be determined, but whose talent level is undoubtedly higher. Considering the other two teams that Simmons labeled as dysfunctional are two of the worst basketball teams in the league, I can only imagine that on court performance has something to do with his opinion. Are the Clippers just an exception to that rule because it doesn't fit his narrative of an anti-Ballmer/Rivers bias? I don't know, but for a guy that seems to know a hell of a lot about the Clippers, he just gave us six consecutive tweets that lacked an substance whatsoever. Haters gonna hate.
P.S. A list of functionality that doesn't have the Knicks in the bottom three was formed by a journalist that I can't take seriously.
Live look at Steve Ballmer...
Or more likely...