That hurts. I mean, that one really, really hurts. Nothing takes the oomph out of a spirited storm off quite like a locked door. Ron Rivera tried to boldly send the message that he's tired of answering pointed questions about concussions after the Cam Newton fiasco in Week 1 and - due to no fault of his own - he ended up looking like a overly sensitive brat. I realize that the time that it took him to get out of the room didn't alter his point in any way, but the difference between swiftly slamming the door behind you and standing there scowling as someone helps you dramatically changes how your outburst is perceived. If all I saw was an empty chair and heard the boisterous thud of his departure in the background I would be much more inclined to agree that the inquiry that caused it was out of line. However, after watching Ron Rivera stand helplessly at the exit I can't picture him as anything other than a whiney child standing at the end of the candy aisle with his brow furrowed and his arms crossed. I almost wish that he just casually moseyed on back to the podium so that we could forget that little snafu ever happened. Watching him slump out of the presser after all the built up tension and animosity had long been sucked out of the room was damn near more detrimental to his mini-rant than stepping back to the mic and retracting it completely. Old Riverboat Ronnie went all-in on the odds that someone wouldn't child proof the door, and he ended up woefully giving whatever amount of intimidation he had built up back to the house.
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Metro- A rapist was caught by his DNA after he took the wrong condom from the scene of the attack.
Dawood Mohammed, 26, raped a prostitute in a beer garden twice before picking up a condom and leaving the scene. He then destroyed it thinking he had got rid of the evidence. But forensics later proved that he had taken someone else’s discarded condom, leaving the one he had used at the Harp of Erin in Bradford, West Yorkshire. Bradford Crown Court heard that Mohammed had previously paid for sex with his victim but this time there was a confrontation. He told her not to scream and then raped her twice. Judge David Hatton told Mohammed he had forced the woman against her will to have sex, and added: ‘The nature of that woman’s work does not affect, one jot, the seriousness of your offending, nor the inevitable trauma that she will have suffered.’ Where to begin with this one? I guess we can start by saying that clearly not every one is cut out to be a rapist. Obviously we'd all like to think that no one is cut out to be rapist, but Bill Cosby made it pretty clear that having non-consensual sex with people can be a criminal "calling" of sorts. I think I can state - pretty definitively - that call was not meant for Dawood Mohammed. Critiquing a sexual predator's plan of attack might unintentionally imply that there is a "right" way to rape someone (spoiler alert: there's not), but this way was so wrong that it deserves dissection. The fact that this dude couldn't keep track of which condom was his is like a drop in a bucket of his egregious mistakes, and that's saying a lot. Not only raping a hooker like a frugal asshole, but raping a hooker he's gone to before that can easily identify him? Not only raping her once, but making sure she truly felt violated by hanging around post-rape until he built stamina back up and was able to do it again? Doing all this in a place that's apparently a pretty popular spot for public fornication? There's no such thing as a "best" kind of rape, but somehow this was undoubtedly the worst kind. This guy committed so many fatal flaws that they probably would have had a fairly easy time nailing him down without the latex glove full of his semen left at the scene of the crime. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad they found it because - ipso facto - it means that this scumbag was walking around with another man's load festering in his pocket. Still, have to to imagine that the sexual assailant that loiters where he molests couldn't have lasted too much longer as a free man...even if he didn't mix up bags of neatly packaged, easily identifiable DNA. PBT- The fans captured his attention, from walking on the street (“Yo, D-Rose, we can go to the playoffs,” a passerby said) to Philippe for dinner to ending the night at 1Oak nightclub (“Welcome the newest member of the Knicks, Derrick Rose,” the DJ shouted over the mic).
The next day when Rose drove by Madison Square Garden on his way to his presser, he took a photo from inside the car of the MSG Marquee, which said “Welcome, Derrick Rose,” and had a customized photo of himself on the digital board. The Knicks showed him in his new No. 25 uniform. “I was feeling a lot of love,” Rose said. “You feel that a little bit in Chicago, but it’s not on that level of New York, so it kind of makes you anxious to actually get on the court. It’s, like, ‘Man, they’re excited that I’m actually there.’ I haven’t even picked up a ball yet, I haven’t made a basket yet, and I can only imagine how they’re going to act when we start winning. I think it's gotten to the point where we should feel bad whenever we criticize Derrick Rose for something that came out of his mouth. Some people just weren't meant to formulate their own original thoughts and have them broadcasted to anyone, never mind millions upon millions of more intelligent strangers. I thought we learned that lesson when the guy that just acted like New York doesn't have the most fickle fan base in sports did everything short of indicting himself on rape charges. I mean, not knowing the meaning of the word 'consent' is pretty bad, but it's not nearly as egregious as thinking that Knicks fans are going to keep tickling his taint if he has two bad games in a row. For Christ's sake, the guy might as well go into witness protection if his knees cause him to sit out more than a week. I don't why I expected a shameless moron to realize that New York loves every one of it's players before they've actually played in New York. I guess I was too lenient with the benefit of the doubt, but how could Derrick Rose not remember that it took Melo 5 seconds in blue and orange before he had his very own Diddy song and now the people that were singing it wish he was still dodging Zika over in Rio. Derrick Rose basically explained all the reasons why he can't believe he's already so beloved, but all he really did was give the main reason why he is still beloved - he hasn't picked up a ball yet. I bet this quote didn't even offend the city of the Chicago. It probably just made a condescending grin curl across their collective lips as they patiently wait for the D-Rose in the Big Apple experiment to backfire in inglorious fashion. — Jeff Kranz (@kranzman) September 20, 2016 Poor guy. One second he's just casually checking his Tinder matches, and the next he's gone viral for completely undermining everyone that truly believes standing on two feet during the National Anthem is the end-all, be-all when it comes to properly respecting the United States. Just trying to respond to a text in a timely fashion and all the sudden he's a social pariah that likely has the vast majority of the Facebook community scrambling to find it's feeble-minded footing. It's a shame this dude is undoubtedly going to face backlash. After all, what is more Patriotic than helping to hold an obnoxiously large American flag as you like tweets about how Colin Kaepernick compares favorably to Osama Bin Laden with an ode to the military playing in the background? I guess someone had to bear the cross. I mean, with the amount of people ready to snap a candid photo at a moment's notice and the percentage of people that just mindlessly rise for the anthem like a frustrated kid going through the motions at Sunday mass, it truly is unbelievable that it took this long. Personally, I think it was well worth the wait. Some kid not even remotely considerate of what's going on around him as he barely keeps that oh-so-sacred representation of our country afloat? The backdrop of three African American football players who are standing at attention while simultaneously bringing awareness to important causes like inequality and oppression? Those that will unquestionably take umbrage with the latter instead of the former despite another innocent black man getting gunned down in the street as of yesterday? It's almost too perfect. Symbolism seems to the overarching theme that everyone in adamant opposition of Colin Kaepernick - and those that have followed his lead - have desperately grasped onto. The flag symbolizes this and only this. The anthem symbolizes that and only that. You know what that kid symbolizes? The level of appreciation that 90% of people had for an antiquated song before a backup quarterback used it to remind them that even the best country on the planet has a shit ton of problems. Say what you want about sitting, kneeling, or raising your fist during the anthem, but don't say it's not infinitely more productive than what most of the people standing are afraid to admit they are doing or thinking about while it's playing. Former Bills Offensive Coordinator Greg Roman Got Canned Moments After He Was In A Team Picture9/20/2016
HA! And people thought the Bills decision to axe their offensive coordinator was a panic move to throw people off the scent of the Ryan brothers' never-ending stink? Bet they feel pretty stupid now. Nothing speaks to how necessary the termination of Greg Roman was quite like the abruptness of his firing. Some might say that having him in the team picture moments before sending him to the unemployment line reeks of a flustered franchise in complete flux. Some might even think that unplanned, impromptu personnel decisions are characteristic of poorly managed organizations. To them I say, sometimes when you know, you just know. If that weren't the case then how do you explain every shitty, spur-of-the-moment marriage proposal that inevitably ends in a lifetime of health and happiness. I mean, it's unfortunate that it finally registered with the Bills front office that one of their most accomplished employees no longer fit their future plans almost immediately after they dolled him up in Bills merchandise and had him pose as part of a team he only spent 1/8 of the season coaching. Not the best timing I suppose. Still, you're not going to sit idly by and keep a guy on the payroll just because he does his job really well and his presence in a yearly photo - that won't be public until well after he was dismissed - makes your entire franchise look like a suspiciously nepotistic clusterfuck. What? Were they supposed to value performance and public perception over the sanctity of a brotherhood? Goddamn it Twitter. Always begging for cleverly worded, up-to-the-second announcements in regards to the goings on of sporting events. I'm not saying the platform was responsible for some underpaid intern accidentally dropping the name of the most infamous white supremacist organization that flowed seamlessly into a first name that unfortunately doubles as an unforgivable slur, but it certainly made it possible. How could you expect some poor kid to quickly turn the visual of a boring ass baseball game into a witty, interactive conversation AND make sure he avoids offending entire races and religions? You realize how much that is to keep track of when fans are constantly refreshing their feed hoping for immediate updates? The way I see it, this was nothing more that the perfect storm of terrible circumstances. One of the most unhittable pitchers in the league on the mound? A man named Kiké batting .200 for the opposition? The K's were bound to pile up against him, and the poor bastard responsible for notifying the fans of them in an engaging way was bound to mash them together to form the world's most reprehensible pun. Are we looking to place blame? Why doesn't it fall on the shoulders of Mr. and Mrs. Hernández for not having the bicultural wherewithal to make sure their son's name wasn't an excluded accent mark from antagonizing all the Jews (soft 'J'). I mean, who doesn't blindly ignore forms of punctuation that aren't easily accessible on a keyboard? Hell, If copy/paste didn't exist I would have already piled up an anti-semetic smear campaign just by trying to refer to a baseball player by his birth name. As long as we are pointing fingers then why not point them at the Klan for using their initial branding to indirectly associate themselves with a sport that didn't let black guys play at the time? I don't want to completely excuse what is a pretty obvious forehead slapper, but we can at least acknowledge that a lot went wrong before a teenager mindlessly crafted 140 extremely unfortunate characters? Lee Zeldin, step right up! Congratulations Congressman! You sir, are taking home the all-too-auspicious award for having the hottest Colin Kaepernick take on social media. Considering the ENDLESS amount of competition, it might be the most impressive accolade that a person could achieve. It's very possible it completely confuses the ways in which common courtesy is used in the English language, but who am I to question the guy with the American flag in the background of his headshot? He's obviously more in tune with the goings on in this country than everyone that doesn't cleverly position themselves in front of our nation's colors whenever a picture is about to be taken. That's why I have no choice but to believe the correlation he just made between some fat dude going around planting pipe bombs on behalf of the radical Islamic state and an Islamic backup quarterback kneeling in opposition of oppression holds a little bit of water. Forgive his wording because I'm pretty sure that Lee Zeldin didn't actually apprehend the suspect himself and therefore he isn't personally deserving of gratitude, but one thing is for sure - Colin Kaepernick owes a 'thank you' to someone. How dare he enable terrorism by way of peaceful protest. As far as I am concerned, he basically valued equality over the well being of innocent Americans. No irony there. First he spits in the face of the military by refusing to salute a flag that represents the armed forces and ONLY the armed forces, and now he is encouraging the use of explosives by acknowledging inherent racial injustices? Will this guy stop at nothing to tear this country apart?!? That remains to be seen, but NOTHING increases the racial divide like refusing to outwardly show appreciation to the police officers that cleaned up the mess he created by empowering anti-Americans with one bend of the knee. ESPN- "This group, I’m telling you, and I said this to them -- there’s no sugar-coating a loss, but their effort and their want-to, all those things are in place," Saints coach Sean Payton said Monday after his team’s 16-13 loss to the New York Giants. "Now we’ve got to find a way to detail the specifics, and that starts with us as coaches.
"These days after (losses), we’ve got to be brutally honest with ourselves, not only just the players, but with the coaches as well, and we’ve got to be better. It’s not gloom and doom, but when you play in a game like that ... the field position, the mistakes made on your side or on their side of the field can be significant." Oh whew, the effort and 'want-to' ARE in place. You know, after watching the last two games I had the feeling they were competing pretty hard, but sometimes it's just nice to hear it from the man who knows better than anyone what they are capable of. Apparently this year's New Orleans Saints team is capable of not completely embarrassing themselves against mediocre competition. Quite the step in the right direction if we are being honest. Makes perfect sense that things aren't "doom and gloom" in-house. Sure, they are 0-2 for the 3rd time in 3 years after losing extremely winnable games in distinctively excruciating fashion, but at least they are trying! Everyone knows that exerting energy is what puts asses in the seats and trophies in the case. Who cares that they appear to be marred in irrelevance during the twilight of their Hall Of Fame quarterback's career? It's not about whether you win or lose, it's how you play the game. I know this because if it wasn't then the black cloud of season's past would be hovering over a locker room that hasn't housed a winner in far too long. According to their head coach the franchise forecast is much closer to sunshine and rainbows than it is to dark skies and impending disaster. So, they let a two touchdown lead get washed away in week one, and rained offensive incompetence all over a stellar defensive performance in week two. The weather has since cleared up, and that will to win is finally shining through. It might not actually result in any wins because teams that find ways to lose generally make a habit of it, but at least I can feel comfortable knowing that they are giving it their all. That's really all you can ask for out of a professional football team that just gave it's coach a 5 year extension. It's not like the NFL is a cutthroat business or anything. No reason to focus on yet another dreadful record to start the season when the hard work that went into attaining is really what champions are made of! Simply nothing more satisfying than a moral victory. LBS- The Vikings committed four false starts in Sunday night’s game against the Packers, with the offensive line responsible for three of them. Guard Alex Boone said the fans were simply too loud and made things difficult, even when the home team was on offense.
“It’s loud, for some reason, in the stadium,” Boone said, via Ben Goessling of ESPN. “There’s a lot of times where we can’t hear the center. We could barely hear the snap count today a couple times — a couple false starts, because guys wouldn’t know when the snap was going. I’m not saying it’s the fans’ fault, but I’m just saying, it would be nice if they would shut the f— up a little bit.” Should a player ever tell the people paying ungodly amounts of money to watch him come play football to "shut the fuck up a little bit"? Probably not. I would imagine that restraining yourself from doing so is the best way to stay on the right side of safe/sorry. That said, if there was going to be a circumstance when it was socially acceptable to give your fans the old 'STFU' it would be the moments following a stadium christening win over a heated rival. I mean, sometimes it's those people you appreciate the most that are in the greatest need of being abruptly silenced, but it's all about making sure you pick the right time to stick the proverbial sock in their collective mouth. There isn't a Vikings fan in the world that is critical of Alex Boone's words, and the truth is - there is none that should be. Not only because their team won a game over one of the best quarterbacks in the league with a quarterback that they picked up two weeks ago, because but they did so despite having a group of supporters that were too goddamn loud when they were trying to put points on the board. It's still one of the most perplexing conundrums in all of sports. People sacrificing their time and money to venture out to stadiums without understanding the concept of keeping those stadiums relatively quiet when their offense is trying to operate. Fans that are supposedly fully invested in the result of the game compromising that result with their undying inability to be fucking silent. Doesn't make a lick of sense to me, or -apparently - Alex Boone. How publicly intoxicated does one have to be to forget that noise isn't always a good thing? I would have thought that the players desperately waving for their home fans to tone it down would have been enough of a reminder, but I guess I was wrong since a member of the winning team was adamant enough to use expletives to get his point across.
Look, obviously the dude that likely still has no idea where he is right now is an idiot for getting physical with someone twice his size. In fact, that may have the most ass-backwards role reversal in the history of incited violence. That's why I have no choice but to believe that the initial jab was nothing more than a drunk guy overestimating his ability to perceive depth and control his motor "skills". There is no other explanation for Mr. Miyagi's oft-ignored drop-out to instigate a fight with a man that could easily turn him in to his own personal marionette than it being a taunt gone wrong. I simply refuse to believe there is enough liquor in the world to give a small Asian man the impression that smashing a large black man's sunglasses into his face is a decision that is favorable to him. Nope. As far as I am concerned, the guy that woke up overly sensitive to light and started walking sideways into the wall still thinks he cleverly stopped his hand mere centimeters from his concusser's nose. No doubt in my mind he's convinced he flawlessly executed the "I'm not toucccccching you" game. Well, that is if he remembers anything from yesterday, which - come to think of it - is a pretty optimistic assumption. P.S. Little unnecessary for the cholo in the straw hat to jump in. With the Asian dude's level of intoxication, pretty much any punch thrown at him could be considered a "sucker punch". I'm sure he deserved that last haymaker, but I think we could have done without a third-man-in when the second man seemed to have Bruce Lee's alcoholic nephew right where he wanted him. LBS- As Bart Hubbuch of the New York Post notes, Moore was furious when he was called for a questionable pass interference penalty while defending Beckham on 3rd-and-8 in the first quarter. Beckham caught a 13-yard pass on the very next play, and Moore felt the receiver should have been flagged.
“I didn’t like it, man,” Moore said. “It was one of those things where [Beckham] is trying to pull himself through. He does that a lot, and he kind of gets away with it at times. It’s something I mentioned to the refs. It is what it is.” Beckham finished with a game-high eight catches for 86 yards. Moore told Hubbuch that yanking defenders and pushing off is “Beckham’s staple on those deep balls,” and the Saints asked Gene Steratore’s crew before the game to keep an eye on it. “They obviously brushed it off,” Moore said. “It’s something he gets away with pretty regularly. I guess it’s something you’ve got to live with. … It didn’t surprise me that he was doing it. But it surprised me that they were letting him do it and were letting us go out there and play. I guess that’s how it’s going to be.” First, let's address the least important question that this quote not-so-indirectly asks. Does Odell Beckham Jr. get away with offensive pass interference more often than the average NFL wide receiver? The answer - quite obviously - is yes. Actually a more appropriate answer is "no shit". Of course one of the most exciting players in all of football gets preferential treatment from the officials, and personally - as a Saints fan that was a victim of it no more than 24 hours ago - I have no problem with that being the case. Would I have been cheering louder than any other person in the building if Odell got flagged for pushing off? Absolutely. However, I am not going to sit here and act like the Saints haven't gotten a couple of offensive assists when the concept of the "superstar call" worked in favor of Drew Brees. So no, I don't have to go back and look at a lick of game tape to know that Odell Beckham is as suspicious as his sexuality when it comes to trying to create separation. I just can't get too upset when the fact that he's a shyster is widely accepted by everyone in the sport. Now, let's address the most important question that this quote not-so-directly asks. How does Sterling Moore benefit from publicly alluding to Odell Beckham's acts of gamesmanship? The answer - quite simply - is that he doesn't. That's my biggest problem with a cornerback scrutinizing his opponent after getting thrust into the unenviable position of guarding him one-on-one. It makes him look like the sorest of losers. His point - which isn't a terrible one per se - gets lost amidst his perceived bitterness. Sterling Moore, all things considered, played his ass off yesterday. He didn't exactly lock down his side of the field, but - considering he was scooped off the unemployment line about 10 days ago - his performance in keeping one of the league's best pass catchers in check was about as impressive as you could hope for. If not for his efforts the game would have been long over prior to a last second field goal. Unfortunately, I can't truly celebrate those efforts today, because I am too busy trying to stand guard of what appears to be his painfully hurt butt. Barring some unforeseen miracle in which the Saints offense and defense start showing up to the stadium on the same day and will this team to the playoffs, Sterling Moore won't be lining up across from Odell Beckham at any point in the near future. That's why blaming the refs only stands to get draw him negative attention when his play was nothing less than overwhelmingly positive.
I am not the type of person to criticize a professional athlete for having rooting interests well before they were selected to play in a city not of their choosing. That's why I respect John Wall's support of the team he's been cheering for since childhood...even if it does make him one of those front running, insufferable assholes we all grew up with. There's no clause in his contract that says he has to wholeheartedly back every other local team, whether the fine folks of Washington, D.C. think that he should blindly do so or not. That said, with the current state of Washington sports he probably could have benefited from reppin' his squad - that happens to be considered a rival in his home city - in a slightly more understated way. As much as I love the throwback Emmitt Smith jersey, it doesn't exactly help one blend in with the sideline crowd. Not that the starting point guard for the Washington Wizards was going to go unnoticed anyway, but would it have killed him to try a little harder? Maybe throw on a navy Cowboys tee and wait until your'e not within view of the entire stadium to dap up Dez Bryant? After all, his own team hasn't exactly done the city proud, and publicly alluding to the turmoil between it's top two players probably didn't garner him any good will. Not saying that the guys doesn't have the right to represent his favorite football team however he sees fit, but - in retrospect - he likely could have saved himself an unnecessary headache. Something tells me that the fans of an 0-2 Redskins team and a perennially disappointing Wizards team aren't taking to kindly to John Wall getting his only meaningful victories at their expense - whether that makes any logical sense or not.
Tough to argue with the guy. I wasn't on the selection committee for Team North America so I can't speak to what they were looking for in their players, but I would have to imagine that youth and talent were at the top of the list. So, so close for our boy Beau. If only his selfishly horny parents had conceived him one year later and had a little more skill coursing through their gene pool when they did. Then their eldest son would be representing the New Jersey Devils as part of the most exciting team competing on an international stage. I mean, Beau's fragile body was basically built for a short tournament like this. Pretty disingenuous that the higher ups likely judged candidates on how they performed during 82 game seasons when some players are better suited physically for two weeks of relative health at a time. I guess taking that into account wouldn't have done too much for the chances of a 24 year old role player trying to make a 23-under team full of superstars, but it's still something to consider. A couple hundred more points and a failure to check ID's and he was basically a shoe-in. We spend so much time focusing on the eligible guys who were actually snubbed, but what about the ineligible guys that could have potentially been snubbed if they were far more accomplished? Where's their Buzzfeed-style list on sports websites who's primary source of hockey knowledge is the stats category on NHL.com? NYDN- It was “Wear a Football Jersey Day” for employees at the Kroger grocery store in Springfield, Ohio, Sunday, as the NFL season kicked off with a huge round of games.
Elijah Scott was excited. It was a chance for the 16-year-old employee to wear his new Colin Kaepernick jersey. He put it on, went to work, clocked in and started bagging groceries like he normally would. When it came time for his lunch break, he says his manager asked Elijah to go home and change clothes. Mind you, many employees were wearing NFL jerseys, but only he was asked to go home and change. Elijah says he was told a customer complained to the manager and said he "wasn't going to shop there again" if Elijah was allowed to wear the "disrespectful" jersey. Let's just get this out of the way right quick. Sending the black kid home from work for wearing a jersey that represents the athlete who has been most outspoken in favor of equality for African Americans is - for lack a better, less egregious word - discriminatory. Unfortunately for him, the world is a shitty, prejudice place. That may seem like a lazy rationalization for some Kroger manager who just wanted to get through his Sunday without dealing with pissed off patrons, and that's because it is exactly that. You see, regardless of the racial ramifications, the customer is always right...even when the customer is a simple minded dickhead that can't stock his fridge without causing a scene. Sadly, it's just business. The underpaid fan of the player that kneels during the National Anthem is more replaceable than the obnoxious jerkoff that threatens to boycott the store in opposition of the presence of said player's jersey. That may suck for low level baggers that want to make a social statement with their attire during a gimmicky casual Sunday, but it's true. I don't know too much about the type of person that complains to grocery store management about what one of it's employees is wearing because I generally try to avoid those people at all cost. I do, however, know that they will purchase their half pound of low sodium ham elsewhere out of principle. The demographical data of a grocery store's clientele is undoubtedly extremely diverse, and that means it undoubtedly includes a bunch of brainless jackasses that think refusing to stand for the National Anthem is an outright act of terrorism. Be that as it may, the money of a brainless jackass is worth just as much as the money of the most educated of intellectual. If there's one thing this kid should take away from this experience it's not that the world is full of hardheaded idiots. It's that working minimum wage public service jobs usually subjects you to more of them. Sadly, they usually don't stop until they get what they want...even if what they want is the person throwing their microwave dinners in a paper bag to change his shirt.
This is the type of gesture that can't help but bring a smile to your face, force a tear to your eye, and send a reminder to your heart that it actually still exists. Not that any honorary tribute made to commemorate a fallen member of your opposition is more noble than any other. It's just that this one felt a little more special because of how unnecessary it was. Sam Foltz didn't tragically pass within the last week. He had no connection to the University Of Oregon. That, however, didn't stop them from going out of their way to stress that the former punter of a non-conference opponent - who they faced for the first time in God knows how long this past weekend - is gone but not forgotten. The bouquet? The placement on the the 27 yard line? That was preplanned. Considering the timing, it wasn't something they felt forced to do. It was something they felt compelled to do. The world can be such a terrible place sometimes that disasters, like the one that cost Sam Foltz his life, can get swept under the rug after a quick ring around the 24 hour news cycle. Honestly, before Nebraska lined up with ten men on the field to memorialize their teammate, his horrific death during the offseason had slipped my mind. I hardly think I am the only one either. Sadly, with catastrophes taking place seemingly bi-weekly, it's difficult to keep track and properly mourn them all. Credit to the University Of Oregon for doing so by paying their respects to the memory of a competitor long after it would be treated as a sign of disrespect not to. It's moments that transcend sports- such as this one - that make sports about so much more than the game. The more things change the more they stay the same. If we are being honest I have never truly understood what the fuck that means, and if we are being even more honest I still don't. However, it seems to apply here so I guess it must be true. Two games played. Two excruciating last second losses that seemed all too avoidable. Two polar opposite game scripts. Now, don't get me wrong, it's not surprise that the Saints offense managed to resemble some neutered version of itself when playing under natural light. Not the first time that Drew Brees and Co. treated the outdoors like like it was as foreign to them as it is to the gamer that hasn't had a concept of time since he first found marijuana. Sometimes they would even have you believe that the entirety of their pre-professional careers weren't spent running and catching on organically grown grass. Still, as much of a problem as the elements have been in the past, it's never been this bad. Was the weather just too mild? Was the possibility of precipitation - that never actually came - that nerve wracking? I don't know, but I do one of the Saints worst offensive performances in years just happened to coincide with what was likely the most gutsy, impressive defensive effort we will ever see from a unit that battled what appeared to be insurmountable odds all day. The Saints defense gave up 9 points. NINE points. After the unfortunate injury to P.J. Williams their starting corners were an rookie undrafted free agent and a guy that was picked up off the street approximately 10 days ago. Yet somehow, against one of the most dangerous wide receivers corps in the league led by one of the unstoppable players in the universe, they managed to keep their opposition to single digits. A 4th down red zone stop? Three forced turnovers? A goal line stand on a series of downs that started on their one yard line? Forget yesterday, Dennis Allen should be free from the wrath of Sean Payton for the rest of the season after his defense - that had plenty of excuses to fall back on- repeatedly gift wrapped extra possessions to an offense that had not a single legitimate reason for it's ineptitude. There's just no other way to put it, this one falls on the shoulders of the man that was just given a 5 year extension after two sub-.500 seasons. This one should have the man that just turned the offseason into one long negotiation period for a contract that guarantees him over $44 million over two years looking in the mirror. Considering that an 0-2 record basically amounts to a death sentence in the NFL, the two most important members of the Saints organization failed them with their season on the line. The offensive wizard and the first ballot Hall Of Fame quarterback put up 13 points when - for the first time in God knows how long - a paltry 17 would have outright won them the game. I know people will look at the blocked kick that was returned for a touchdown as the difference because technically it was, but I refuse to blame a loss on one special teams mishap when so much has been invested in an offense that was absent for a vast majority of the afternoon. If I wanted to get into specifics I could talk about how the only thing more lifeless than Coby Fleener's on-field heart is the money invested in him. I could criticize whoever decided that Brandon Coleman - a guy who has the stature of an NFL caliber receiver and the hand-eye coordination of a drunk sorority girl - was the person to trust with securing the team's two most important throws. I could scold Ken Crawley for failing to knock down a ball that appeared to be throw directly to him and eventually ended the game. I could nitpick little instances that cost the Saints a game that was there for the taking, but doing so would let it's head coach and it's starting quarterback off the hook for an afternoon full of incompetence. The most ernest of "get well soon's" to P.J. Williams, the most genuine of hat tips to the defense, and the most disparaging of lifeless glares to the offense. They, and they alone, squandered the opportunity for this team to be destined for more than another 7-9 season long struggle.
SportBible- Introducing Jeferson da Conceição Gonçalves, aka "Jefinho." The Brazilian Paralympic star is on the verge of becoming a three-time gold medalist while being heralded as the "Paralympic Pele."
By the young age of seven-years-old he was completely blind, a few years before he took up the beautiful game since taken it by storm. Despite never seen the iconic Pele in action, he feels honoured being dubbed with the impressive tag. "It's an honor for me to be compared to an athlete like Pelé." I've always thought that the most impressive athletic feats are those that are so physically overwhelming that they go the comprehension of the average sports fan. I guess by that logic Jeferson da Conceição Gonçalves AKA 'Jefinho' AKA 'The Paralympic Pele' is the most awe inspiring athlete of all time, because I will NEVER understand how a blind person just maneuvered around a soccer field like that. Don't get me wrong, I get the logistics behind it. I know that those without all their senses rely more heavily on the senses they do have. It's just that watching someone hear their way through a bevy of defenders without the slightest of hesitations and putting the ball in a perfect spot of the net that he can't even see doesn't make sense to a person that is a useless pile of shit without their sight. As someone that has a hard enough time not stubbing his toe when trying to make his way through a dark room that he's been in thousands of times, I can't begin to fathom blindly accelerating without the fear that I could be half a second away from a head-on collision. Pretty sure if you slapped a blindfold on me it would take me the entirety of the first half to make it from one end of the pitch to the other, and that's under the assumption that I was the only person on the field and wasn't required to maintain ball control. Meanwhile, 'The Paralympic Pele' is just dominating people like he doesn't suffer from the exact same handicap they do. I'm not sure if this is an incredibly offensive insult or the highest compliment that a blind athlete can receive but that son of a bitch plays like he can actually see. If only for that reason, he's deserves the nickname he goes by. UPDATE: Not a one snipe wonder...
The Bills Fired Their Offensive Coordinator After Putting Up 31 Points In A Loss To The Jets9/16/2016
I'm not saying that I don't feel bad for Greg Roman. After all, the guy appeared to be pretty good at his job and was no more than a couple hours removed from putting up 31 points against potentially the most dominant front seven in all of football. Unfortunately, his termination as offensive coordinator was the only possible way to provide a quick fix to a team that seems destined for yet another losing season. Ok fine, it was actually the only possible way to provide a quick fix to a bad team that involved both Ryan brothers keeping their jobs, but isn't that the most important thing here. You think Rob Ryan stopped binge drinking in New Orleans just so he could head up to to Buffalo and get axed the first time his continued inability to properly do his job cost his team a game? This isn't even related to nepotism, how could Rex fire his wing eating partner just days after getting his lap band removed? Come on now. The Buffalo Bills organization can't concern themselves with taking logical steps to win football games. That would go in direct opposition their main goal which is making sure the members of the most lovably inept football family are employed in the NFL. Personally? I'm happy for Rob Ryan. The guy has been desperately searching for a gig where results don't matter and he finally found one hiding (or trying to hide) under his brother's increasingly flabby wing. So while we are mourning one man's undeserved firing let's take a quick second to look on the bright side. Another man achieved his dream of not being held accountable for his failures in a league in which job security is supposed to be predicated on success. What you call a scapegoat, I call a sacrifice. Unbelievable. Simple unbelievable. No, I am not talking about the idea of a cop being able to stay cool under pressure and finding enough in common with a guy hanging off the side of a bridge to get close to him and save his life. That's certainly impressive and admirable, but it's not unbelievable. What is unbelievable is the fact that the guy hanging off the side of the bridge didn't swan dive to his death the second a stranger started trying to pander to him by talking about sports. I don't have a suicidal bone in my body. Never have, never will. That being said, if I happened to be taking in the view from atop any type of elevated structure the quickest way to get me to leap desperately towards the bottom would be to engage me in a discussion about my teams for which you clearly have no knowledge. Back when I was sitting in a cubicle I would have dangerous, homicidal thoughts when co-workers tried to consult me on the potential outcome of upcoming games. You think I wouldn't take one single, inevitably fatal step to achieve the instant gratification of ending an unwanted, informed conversation about sports? If there's one thing that can get me to do something crazy that I'll probably end up regretting it's using my fandom against me to force a stop and chat that's not remotely close to being beneficial to me in any way. I'm glad all parties are safe, but - seeing as they are - I really have to question just how much that guy likes his Redskins and Gamecocks. Simply put, that cop's useless drivel about them would have sent any real fan careening to a watery grave while screaming "I can't take this shit anymore". Let me guess, Catholic school? Actually, now that I think about it, it's an insult to the most devout of Catholics to consider that a "guess". Of course it's a Catholic school. What other type of school would use arithmetic to try to push it's antiquated agenda through the guise of word problems? Honestly, I'm not even hating on the question. Any place other than a Catholic school and I would be appalled by then inappropriateness of that unnecessary insert, but at a Catholic school it's just called integrating lesson plans. A little two birds, one stone action. Hey, these kids had to learn how to manipulate statistics just like they had to learn that loving someone of the same sex automatically makes your impending afterlife experience a little more...well...humid. Might as well use the former to hammer home the latter. Plus, it's pretty clear the situation presented is strictly hypothetical. 70% of the men in town married? 90% of the women in town married? Yeah, maybe in 1971. In 2016 we have this thing called a divorce rate and I'm pretty sure it's currently a number that resides somewhere in the middle of both those percentages. If we were really looking to be lenient then we could give this teacher the benefit of the doubt, because this place where everyone is joined happily in holy matrimony is clearly a fantasy land. An overly conservative fantasy land where gays are shunned, but a fantasy land where men and women never grow tired of each other's bullshit. Since that clearly doesn't exist I think we can just consider every aspect of this question fabricated, and not at all a sign that the person that came up with it needs to be put out to pasture. |
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