TMZ- Eric Decker did NOT want to be a part of the Tennessee Titans' national anthem demonstration on
Sunday -- the team made a decision "without him knowing" ... so says his wife, Jessie James Decker. The Titans players issued a statement after they played the Seahawks saying the team decided not to go out on the field for the anthem because they "wanted to be unified in our actions today." "The players jointly decided this was the best course of action. Our commitment to the military and our community is resolute and the absence of our team for the national anthem shouldn't be misconstrued as unpatriotic." But Jessie James Decker is calling BS on the situation ... saying, "My husband was not made aware it was time to go out for the game. Unfortunately a decision was made for him without him knowing." Jessie also posted a long message on Instagram explaining why she loves the national anthem -- and Eric commented, "Preach baby." ------- Look, I'm not entirely familiar with the intricacies of 'bro code' or 'man law' because I'm no longer a teenage douchebag that believes people with a penis should follow a distinct set of rules and regulations so that said penis appears bigger to their overly self conscious peers. I would imagine some stipulation about not outing a professional athlete who is telling a white lie to his super hot significant other is included in there somewhere, and that's why I want you guys to keep this information between us... ::whispers::...there's no fucking way that the Tennessee Titans hoodwinked an 8 year veteran into being in the locker room with the rest of his teammates during the National Anthem. Now, I have no doubt that that's the spur-of-the-moment excuse that Eric Decker decided to go after getting confronted by his pissed off wife who - if we are being quite honest - has a particularly odd amount of important childhood anecdotes in which the National Anthem played a central role. However, I have an inkling that not wanting to become a massively polarizing figure as the only guy from EITHER team to stand on the sideline played a much bigger factor in him "losing track of time" than he's be willing to admit. As if the fact that he has damn near a decade worth of professional game day experience isn't enough evidence that he knows the routine then the "preach baby" response on social media was a classic class of overcompensation. Let's just put this it this way, I am inclined to think that Eric Decker would have found a way to see through the trickery that was allegedly organizational diversion if his wife were the one actually singing the Anthem. Mostly just because even the most legitimate alibi wouldn't have gotten him out of the dog house if he wasn't in plain sight during her performance.
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What if I told you that even a concept as inherently "good" as unification could be turned into a heaping load of hypocritical horseshit? What if I told you that 'togetherness' was only a one way street that led directly to the comfort and satisfaction of those who are just a little too used to being comfortable and satisfied? What if I told you that a house divided is only praiseworthy when that division continues to give one historically vocal side their (obnoxiously loud, repetitive) voice? Actually, screw the what if's, because Drew Brees can unintentionally imply that for me...
Obviously I take no umbrage with a veteran honoring the flag the only way he's ever known how, but is it not completely ass backwards to cry for "unity" and also heap praise on the ONE guy that decided to break apart from 52 of his teammates in order to do what he felt right? The people that actively place some alternative, fabricated meaning on something as harmless - and well explained, ad nauseam - as the taking of a knee have begun to treat it as a blow to some fictitious sense of solidarity (because their first 47 justifications for feeling so irrationally upset fell flat). Yet, they'll treat Alejandro Villanueva like a hero for blowing off an organizationally orchestrated boycotting of the National Anthem? Now, Alejandro Villanueva is - indeed - a hero. However, he earned that label by putting his life on the line for the rights granted by the First Amendment, not by becoming a pillar of self righteousness to people who are more mad about a non-violent response to police brutality than police brutality itself. What he did by standing in salute of the flag from that tunnel was exercise self expression, just like a countless number of his peers did in refusing to succumb to a threat made towards their job security by the dumbest, most divisive political leader of the last dozen lifetimes. Simply put, if a uniformed response to a fucking song really is undeniably symbolic of 'unity' then Alejandro Villanueva is just as guilty of compromising it as Colin Kaepernick initially was. So let's stop acting like those that agree with Trump's dismissal of a socially aware athlete as a "son of a bitch" are truly concerned that their insanely illusionary view of America as "great again(?)" might get distorted, when we all know the backlash is the result of something much more self serving being threatened. Hint: it doesn't not rhyme with 'schmivilege' and/or 'schmissful schmignorance'.
Look, I love Drew Brees. Even when he's slinging touchdown passes in a playoff game for a franchise that's much better built to compete for a championship then the one that is currently dragging him down, I will still love Drew Brees. What he has meant to the Saints' organization and everyone that is even mildly emotionally invested in its success can't possibly be overstated. That's why I want to follow his lead and believe in this team...but I simply can't. Maybe it's because I enjoy keeping my feet grounded in reality or maybe it's because I have spent enough time reading the Bible. Whatever the case may be, the last three seasons of "Sunday school" have taught me that running on blind hope will only end in slamming face first into the wall of inevitable disappointment. If I were to believe in the unbelievable, I would need just one logical reason to, and - through two increasingly unwatchable games - this team hasn't so much as given me a glimmer. Like, other than the play of a rookie cornerback that has now officially been declared 'out' for this upcoming Sunday, what would give even the most nauseatingly positive of Saints' fans faith in this team?
I wouldn't consider the impotent offense that stands a better chance of closing the door on its head coach and his head scratching decision making than closing out a touchdown drive when the game is still in reach to be a source of optimism. The defense that impressively manages to break their own record in becoming more historically piss poor ever single year, and will probably serve as the elixir for Cam Newton's ailing shoulder this weekend certainly won't get me to shoutout the holy spirits. This is usually the part of the week when the sting of a terrible loss would start to fade, and the eternal optimism of Sunday's unknown would begin to creep in. However, with so, so, so much recent and eerily reminiscent evidence of how things are likely to play out, can you even say it's truly unknown anymore? At best, this version of the New Orleans Saints is consistently inconsistent. At worst, they are flat out dreadful. Time well tell which of those is closer to true, but - with their irrationally confident 'Hall Of Fame' quarterback set to become a free agent at the end of what looks to be another woeful season - this regime doesn't even have fucking time to deperately pray for good fortune anymore. TheSportingNews- The NFL won't rule out holding Cowboys running back Ezekiel Elliott out of Monday's game against the Cardinals if the U.S. 5th Circuit Court of Appeals rules before then on whether Elliotts's six-game suspension should or shouldn't stand.
NFL VP of Communications Joe Lockhart says the situation remains at the discretion of commissioner Roger Goodell if there is a ruling over the weekend. "I can't rule out ruling (Elliott) out," Lockhart said Friday morning (via the Fort Worth Star-Telegram). In an effort to give the Cowboys and their opponents the opportunity to game plan for either of two eventualities — Elliott playing or not playing — the NFL asked in its filing with the appeals court in New Orleans that it rule by Sept. 19 or Sept. 26. ------ Full disclosure, my immediate inclination was to type "LOL wut?" and click post. Unfortunately, I felt obligated to expand on that lack of rationale, but it'll probably make the following more entertaining if you keep that perfectly succinct - and incredibly fitting - line of thinking in mind while reading... Nope, it's not that the NFL is incapable of ruling Ezekiel Elliott out of a stand-alone, primetime game that takes place in three days. It's that that they are incapable of ruling out the prospect of having a ruling on the eligibility of Ezekiel Elliott prior to the stand-alone, primetime game that takes place in three days. Try to wrap your head around that for a second, but - be forewarned - I'm on the cusp of a migraine trying to figure out the difference. Talk about vintage NFL. Their Vice President of Communications - the man paid handsomely to deliver messages to the general public that paint the league in a good light - turned the potential for domestic violence-related news into actual news despite the fact that might not even end up being newsworthy. It's almost as if a multi-billion dollar business is taking some sort of sick and twisted, masochistic pleasure in how badly they bungled their first honest foray into the world of disciplining the (alleged) assailants of women, because they seemingly will not shut the fuck up about it. This is complete and utter reckless speculation on my part, but I'm starting to get the gut feeling that Ezekiel Elliott will play out the entirety of this season. Call it a hunch, or call it a reminder that Tom Brady's frivolous punishment was ultimately pushed back a year by the appeals process. Whatever the case may be, there's a strong possibility that the running back, who the NFL tried their damnedest to make an example of, won't serve a single second of his suspension in 2017. Yet, here we are, spending all of 2017 discussing his playing status - that his employer had repeatedly and fruitlessly attempted to have changed - on damn near a weekly basis. We shouldn't forget that Ezekiel Elliott may have potentially placed his hands on a (proven crazy, but still innocent) woman, but I'll be damned if the league that's currently paying his game checks shouldn't want us to for the time being. TheBigLead- The Athletic’s Don Banks joined the Darren Smith Show on 1090 AM in San Diego on Thursday to discuss the disastrous Los Angeles Chargers. This week, Banks wrote a piece about how quickly things have gone south for Dean Spanos and his team in LA and during the interview he went ever further.
Banks even suggested the NFL is quietly talking about moving the team back to San Diego. “I have been painted a picture from people I’ve talked to that the league was sympathetic…to Dean Spanos’ plight. Feels like he had been a ‘league guy’ feels like he had waited kind of his turn on the relocation front, thought he had the votes the year before — Jerry Jones and Stan Kroenke pretty much outmaneuvered Dean and Mark Davis with the Raiders to be the first in line for LA. So it was almost as if this was a bit of a make up. “I can tell you this Darren, there are people in the league — including the commissioner — they did not want to see San Diego forsaken. They would rather there be a team in San Diego. If there’s anything viable that they could find to put the league back in to San Diego, I think they will be in that camp strongly.” “They’re saying the right things now and they’re going to keep a stiff upper lip and say that ‘we knew that this was going to be a hard slog uphill.’ There’s a lot of concern already. And there’s a lot of people who are thinking, ‘How can we put up with these optics for the next three years if the Chargers can’t improve the situation in Carson?'” “I think they’re talking about it. I do. I think there’s already a level of concern at how far south it’s gone, that there are at least people talking about it…I don’t think a true tipping point has been reached, it’s too early for that. But I think there’s enough concern that people are saying, ‘What’s the best option perhaps among bad options?" -------- We probably shouldn't be that surprised, right? I mean, it's shocking in the sense that a professional sports team has never relocated to a nearby major city only for that city to play such a stubborn game of "hard to get" with their interest that said professional sports team almost immediately had to reconsider their decision. However, let's not pretend it's the first time we have seen two parties that are wrong for each other at risk of getting back together after initial breaking up over petty, irreconcilable differences. If I know anything about relationships (I don't) then that half-empty soccer stadium is symbolically the NFL equivalent of that shitty rebound fling that tell yourself is going smoothly because it's with anyone other than your ex. Now, if we are going to keep with that analogy then you could probably draw the conclusion that noted dumbass Dean Spanos became far too invested in what was supposed to be an explorative period by outright marrying his franchise to Los Angeles before even engaging and seeing all that "she" had to offer. Still, it's only natural to want to settle back into an equally as bad, but far more familiar situation when change doesn't go as expected. The Chargers basically volunteered themselves Los Angeles' side-chick, and are now stunned that they aren't getting the most bargain basement of wifey treatment that the Rams are getting. At least if they head back to San Diego they can become a priority again, even if it's due to no other reason than lack of options. Now, something tells me that Dean Spanos' pride would need to be regurgitated for him to be able to swallow it. That said, considering how ruthlessly Los Angeles is chewing up and spitting out the Chargers, that bird-brained bastard might actually end up getting force-fed back to San Diego sooner rather than later. Don't Worry Ladies, Albert Haynesworth Will Have Sex With You Regardless Of Your Skin Color9/22/2017
Woman of the world, hear ye hear ye! Albert Haynesworth is officially back on the market and he wants to make sure that not race, color, nor creed can tame his interest in literally any of your genitals. That's right ladies, even the Redskins may re-apply. Come one, come all, and see if your vagina has what it takes to settle the 6'6, 350 pound former professional football player that's days removed from alleging that his white ex-girlfriend beat his ass beyond the brink of legal action. Note to the entirety of the fairer sex: Let not size, shape, nor nationality deter you from trying to catch that abnormally large squirrel and giving him the nut he so desperately seeks. Considering the amount of baggage he's lugging along with him, it might not be as hard as you think... ----- TMZ- Ex-NFL superstar Albert Haynesworth claims he's the victim of domestic violence -- alleging his baby mama physically and verbally abused him ... and TMZ Sports has the police report. The drama between Haynesworth and his ex, Brittany Jackson, went public Wednesday when she accused him of skipping out on child support for their young son. Jackson's a former college basketball star who says she also played in the WNBA. Haynesworth -- who reportedly made more than $50 MILLION during his NFL career -- fired back with allegations of his own..."Not only has she called me unthinkable names she has been extremely violent," Haynesworth claims. The 6'6", 350-pound defensive tackle says he called police on the woman more than 10 times during their rocky 2-year relationship. "I have witnesses and bruises but me for some reason still tried to protect her by not sending her to jail bc I didn't want to ruin her so called career and name." ----- I guess the defensive tackle that (fairly literally) flopped out of the NFL mere seasons after being gifted a 100 million dollar contract has never had the keenest eye for priorities, but - damn - I thought he would have learned something from becoming the poster child for dead money and wasted talent. Of all the things to publicly address as a grown man that got his dick kicked in for failing to use his 50 million dollar net worth to pay child support, and he felt an aside to diffuse the six year old statement he made dismissing black women that served as his only defense against sexual assault was necessary... ----- BET- Albert Haynesworth, a nose tackle for the Washington Redskins football team, has a history of bad behavior, which includes everything from stomping on an opponent’s head to punching a man in a traffic altercation. In February, however, the six-foot-six, 300-pound 29-year-old may have made his biggest mistake to date. According to a waitress working at Washington, D.C.’s W Hotel, Haynesworth fondled her breasts while her hands were full of glasses at the time. Haynesworth was slapped with a sexual abuse charge, which he’s been fighting ever since. Haynesworth spoke up early to say that charges against him were bogus. And not just because he was innocent, but because he “[doesn’t] even like Black girls.” That’s according to statements allegedly given to a detective who was investigating the case. Besides that, Haynesworth supposedly said, “I know what this is about: [The waitress] is just upset I have a white girlfriend. I couldn’t tell you the last time I dated a Black girl.” ----- Hey, I guess I can't judge a newly single man for bringing up his past transgressions in hopes of ending ending his sexual segregation and finally opening up his dating pool to all comers in 2017. Not sure this is the right time to discuss his lack of discrimination towards future exploits, but I guess it's nice for female minorities to know that they can catch a pity bone from a disgraced pro athlete. Ya know, if they can deal with the fact that the person potentially giving it to them can't even defend himself against the (allegedly crazy) white baby mama that he refused to reimburse for their child. Whew, I'm glad he finally cleared everything up for us by giving black women the opportunity to stand on line for an oh-so-bumpy ride on the Albert Hayneworth express....
The Kings And Canucks Played In Shanghai, And Had Their Mascots Explain Penalties To Chinese Fans9/22/2017 After watching this about three times trying to decide whether this mascot-run penalty tutorial was an example of the type of innocent, but egregious condescension that Americans have made their calling card...orrrr the perfect way to grab the eye of the casual Chinese fan, I have come to a conclusion... It's actually both. I was cringing pretty hard during the intermission entertainment that treated those in attendance like a bunch of foreign idiots that had no idea what they were watching by trying to teach them the game through a performance that appeared to be the lovechild of 'Disney On Ice' and 'The Three Stooges'. That said, I'd be willing to bet that all six people - in a city that's populated by 24 million - that decided to show up for the NHL's laughable attempt at growing their game overseas found themselves most intrigued by watching people dressed as animals trying their oversized paws at vaudeville. I'm not sure this kind of blatant patronizing would fly in other hockey-less areas of the world, but credit to NHL for doing this song-and-dance for a handful of people from the one culture that's just eccentric enough to appreciate it. I guess my only complaint with that game of instructional charades was that it wasn't thorough enough. I suppose it would have run a little long if 'Bailey' the lion and 'Fin' the whale were tasked with providing all the examples of what a goddamn slash is. That would probably require an hour long variety show in and of itself since the integrity of the spectacle would be compromised by them yanking off their heads off and trying to translate to the audience that the NHL is still working on defining that one. I don't know, maybe it's just me but penalties are the one aspect of the game that I wouldn't currently be trying to explain to the untrained eye without spoken word since even the most diehard of fans and veteran of players are having trouble wrapping their minds around the nauseating concept of a face-off violation. Luckily, I hardly think the target audience was paying as much attention to the lesson as they were to comical way it was being taught, but if they did truly want to learn then that class would have required extensive, postgame office hours. NYPost- A lawyer for Aaron Hernandez said Thursday that the former NFL player — who committed suicide in prison — had suffered from a “severe” case of the degenerative brain disease CTE.
The attorney said that an autopsy showed that Hernandez, who died at 27 while serving life in prison, had a disease common in players called chronic traumatic encephalopathy. The lawyer, Jose Baez, said in a news conference Thursday, that researchers determined it was “the most severe case they had ever seen in someone of Aaron’s age,” according to The New York Times. In addition, Hernandez’s fiancee, Shayanna Jenkins-Hernandez, filed a lawsuit against the Patriots and the NFL — claiming they did not warn him about the brain disease, according to TMZ. “Aaron had stage 3 CTE usually seen in players with a median age of death of 67 years,” Jenkins told the site. Filing on behalf of her daughter Jenkins seeks “redress for the loss of parental consortium… based on the negligent conduct of Defendants that deprived her of the companionship and society of her father, Aaron Hernandez.” ---- In the sense that modern science - in the form of Will Smith with a piss poor accent - has taught us that we shouldn't be surprised when people that spent the vast majority of their formative years smashing skulls with with their peers develop a disease that deteriorates the brain, I suppose this news isn't all that shocking. Still, I can't imagine it's something that Roger Goodell and Co. wanted to hear. I hardly think the NFL played the role of the Manitowoc County Police Department in 'Making A Murderer' who was far more dangerous to society than Steven Avery. To put it bluntly, Aaron Hernandez was way too shitty of a person to blame all his flaws as a human and every black mark on his rap sheet on the repetitive head shots he willingly put himself at risk of taking. That said, the fact that professional football could have potentially played even the most minor of roles in turning a run-of-the-mill criminal into a cold-blooded killer (of others, as well as himself) is an awful, awful look for the league. Let's put it this way. If we can't definitively say that someone with an extensive list of priors was of a relatively sound mind that was clouded by nothing more than a little bit of weed when he shot multiple people dead then there is no type of outlandish behavior from still living football players we that should be feel comfortable being quick to judge. Considering the asinine amount of evidence that he left behind, I already thought that Aaron Hernandez' brain was filled with rocks so I'm not going to plea on behalf of his mental health postmortem. It's just scary that the inherent dangers of the most popular sport on the planet have absolutely given the widow of a now-deceased 27 year old every right to.
HNHH- The Big Baller Brand is accused of stealing logos again, this time by the owner of a Canadian yoga studio who claims the logo used on LaMelo Ball's Melo Ball 1 signature shoe is actually hers.
In an interview with CTV in Ottawa, Hana Engel, owner of the Modern Body yoga studio in Canada says, "I don’t want it to be, ‘Oh she’s a little yoga studio in Ottawa Canada, who cares we can get away with this,' it’s my logo and I protected it for a reason," said Engel during an interview with CTV. ------- Why yes, the oh-so-orginal concept of taking two different letters and using their shared boundary to form a logo. Creatively speaking, it's almost impossible for the merging of paralleled lines to become an example of paralleled thinking. Sure, great minds might think alike. However, genius minds - like that of the owner of a small yoga studio in rural Ontario - are always responsible for unique and authentic ideas that can't be duplicated unless they are literally stolen. Man, even with all the unforgivably stupid things that LaVar Ball has said and done, I never thought he would stoop this low. I mean, scouring the internet looking for niche workout facilities outside of the country that were unlikely to be familiar enough with basketball to know that a high school hooper jacked their intellectual property? Talk about absolutely despicable and totalllllllly intentional behavior that couldn't possibly be the result of a mere coincidence. In all honesty though, I love this move from Hana Engel. Unless she's legitimately a crazy person (which is not totally outside the realm of the possibility), even she knows she is totally full of shit in claiming that this was a vicious, premeditated infringement on a small business' likeness. That said, why not use that angle to her advantage? We are talking about the 'Big Baller Brand', and going to small claims court to battle over a copyright is undoubtedly some "small baller" bullshit. Any obnoxiously egotistical, outrageously outspoken man whose company is worth it's weight in undeserved self importance would just make it rain with literally all the money that it would take to get this issue resolved in a timely manner. That would be the optimal outcome for some lady whose flexibility classes could probably use a financial kick in the yoga pants. P.S, Marty's still better...
Welp, as is always the case when Bruce Arians decides to take a good-humored jab at the legitimacy of a relatively stupid question, he's not wrong. If he could just get his hands on Denver's non-replicable players - or some nearly as talented version of them - then he probably would have a pretty good idea outline for how to handicap the Cowboys' offense. Hell, he might need nothing more than a second shutdown corner and the temporary acquisition of the most unstoppable pass rusher in the entire world to put on a poor man's performance of the defensive clinic that gave Dallas nightmares last weekend. Who knows, if the Cardinals first act is reminiscent enough of the one that put the shackles on Ezekiel Elliot then he might spend the entire second half of the game sitting Indian-style at midfield with his arms crossed and his brow furrowed. Just slip Von Miller and Aqib Talib into some Cardinals jerseys when no one is looking prior to Monday night's game. That's not too much to ask, is it? I mean, how else is Bruce Arians going to follow the prototype without having pros that fit that type?!?
FTW- Lions TE Eric Ebron took exception to a hit Landon Collins laid on him on Monday Night Football and went to the media to lash out at the Giants safety.
“I was pissed off,” Ebron said. “I was pissed off at that little punk of a safety they’ve got over there… “Collins, he played a good game, that hit just [expletive] me off and I didn’t feel like celebrating,” Ebron said. “I wasn’t in that kind of joyful mood. It was still a good game. He played his butt off trying to guard me. I commend him for that.”
In the argument between a tight end whining about being on the receiving end of a textbook form tackle that should probably be included in some type of NFL instructional video and the safety boasting about his coverage on a guy that had a handful of catches and a touchdown in a decisive victory, I deem no one the winner. Eric Ebron gets a nod for the passive aggressiveness of "he played his butt off trying to guard me", and Landon Collins the same for making light of just how absurd the complaint is in the first place. That said, I am awarding neither participant a single point in this insanely idiotic spat that was predicated on largely irrational thoughts. May god have mercy on their souls for making us all dumber in trying to understand how potentially the most legal tackle of all time resulted in two grown men basically debating who was the bigger loser. Newsflash guys, it's us for having to pay it a second of attention when it flashed across our timelines. A Group Of NFL Players Sent Roger Goodell A Proposal For League Orchestrated Social Activism9/21/2017 ahoo- Current and former NFL players campaigning for racial equality and criminal justice reform wrote a lengthy memo to league commissioner Roger Goodell officially seeking overt league support in their effort, including an endorsement for an activism awareness month, Yahoo Sports has learned.
The 10-page memo, obtained by Yahoo Sports, was sent to Goodell and executive vice president of football operations Troy Vincent in August, requesting wide-ranging involvement in their movement from the NFL. The memo seeks an investment of time and education, political involvement, finances and other commitments from the league. It also sought to have the NFL endorse the month of November as an activism awareness month, similar to the periods of league calendar dedicated to breast cancer awareness and military recognition. It was endorsed by four players: Seattle Seahawks defensive end Michael Bennett, Philadelphia Eagles safety Malcolm Jenkins, former Buffalo Bills wideout Anquan Boldin, and Eagles wideout Torrey Smith. A league spokesperson declined to comment on the memo or Goodell’s communication with specific NFL players. The four players who co-authored the letter either didn’t return requests for comment or declined to speak about it, citing an agreement to keep direct communications with Goodell private. “To be clear, we are asking for your support,” a portion of the memo reads. “We appreciate your acknowledgement on the call regarding the clear distinction between support and permission. For us, support means: bear all or part of the weight of; hold up; give assistance to, especially financially; enable to function or act. We need support, collaboration and partnerships to achieve our goal of strengthening the community. There are a variety of ways for you to get involved. Similar to the model we have in place for players to get involved, there are three tiers of engagement based on your comfort level. To start, we appreciate your agreement on making this an immediate priority. In your words, from Protest to Progress, we need action.” The memo was divided into three major parts: an overview of current player activism; a call for specific efforts and resources from the NFL to aid that activism; and a request for a league-wide initiative dedicating the month of November to activism awareness – similar to the league’s support of National Breast Cancer Awareness month. The memo also included a potential timeline for the execution of wider-ranging NFL support, starting in late August 2018 and punctuated by a Sept. 9 “Announcement of Owners/Players Support goinagentg into opening day.” It finished with several pages of an addendum detailing specific aspects of criminal justice reform the players believe are necessary, including police accountability and transparency, bail reform, the criminalization of poverty and other areas. --------- I guess my only question is, how did it took Roger Goodell to open this letter? I suppose that we should just be happy that he did considering he left the video of Ray Rice going 'Wreck It Ralph' on his then girlfriend's jaw to collect dust, but still there's no way this was an "immediately open while standing in front of the mailbox" situation. At some point he probably realized it wasn't in his best interest to just pretend that an extremely intricate proposal from an outspoken group of socially active athletes didn't exist. However, I would venture to guess it took him until at least a day or two after Labor Day Weekend to slice open an intimidatingly sized parcel that was staring up at him from underneath his pile of piss test requests since late August. There's just no way he saw that collection of names and mentally marked it as urgent. If I know one thing about the Commissioner of the NFL it's that promptness is most definitely not his thing when it requires him to work with subject matter that is actually serious. I think we've learned over the last year that the NFL doesn't exactly prioritize racially charged issues, so if you think that a 10 page memo aimed at getting them to put time, effort, and money into appropriately acknowledging them was 'Priority Mail' then you are beside your mind. If this was an overnight order for an American flag that spanned the entire length of a professional football field then Roger Goodell would have been tapping his foot on his stoop while impatiently waiting for the UPS driver, but a letter asking for a similarly contrived show of togetherness on behalf of black athletes looking for nothing more than equality? Yeaaaaah, no doubt that one was left to wait for a rainy day. ESPN- “I could pull up my Twitter right now and there would be a fat comment in there somewhere,” he says. “Like I could tweet, ‘Today is a beautiful day!’ and someone would be like, ‘Oh yeah? You fat.’ I sit there and wonder: ‘What do you get out of that?'”
…And while he lost weight — albeit slowly — getting down to where he wanted (around 240 pounds on his 5-foot-11 frame) and keeping it off was a miserable slog during his Packers years. In the meantime, people photoshopped pictures of Lacy’s stomach to make it seem like he had a Santa Claus physique. Someone searched through his Twitter account and noticed that back in college he had an affinity for Chinese food, and he loved tweeting about it. They screenshotted every tweet and made a collage that quickly went viral. “I always called it China food,” Lacy, 27, says with a grin. “There is no way around it, I love sesame chicken and shrimp fried rice so much. It’s awesome.” He chuckled at first, but the collage also stung. It kept showing up in his feed, an endless cycle of snark, rebooted each day. “It sucks,” Lacy says. “It definitely sent me into a funk. I wish I could understand what they get out of it.” …Lacy is bombarded with insults every time he opens an app on his phone. “You just can’t shake it,” he says. “And no matter what, you can’t say nothing back to them. You just have to read it, get mad or however it makes you feel, and move on. I could be 225 and they’d still be like, ‘You’re still a fat piece of s — .'” -------- Yup, this should do it. If I know the internet like I think I know the internet then this will definitely silence the haters. After all, the best way to get trolls to stop making the same repetitive fat jokes about an overweight professional athlete that can't stop eating China food is to have that professional athlete do an overly dramatic sit down interview talking about how hard it is to take a joke about his inability to stop eating China food. Surely all those outspoken strangers online will be able to sympathize with the fact that he can't put down the extra spare rib when the only requirements of his multi-million dollar job are to power his will and control his portions. I suppose some might consider this 'Onion'-esque sob story to be laughably counterproductive, but those people clearly don't understand that ESPN historically provides quite the generous spread. Listen, I get the frustration that results from being on the ass end of fat jokes from hundreds of thousands of strangers. I really do. It sucks that Eddie Lacy has to live with the fact that people are probably going to make jokes about his weight no matter what his weight happens to be. However, it's a bit premature to complain about the inaccuracy of those jokes before they are even inaccurate. Saying that a 225 pound Eddie Lacy would still be the target of online bullying is probably true, but - after taking one look at Eddie Lacy - I can definitely say that it's also very much a hypothetical. Honestly, at this point I find it completely and utterly disingenuous that Eddie Lacy hasn't embraced his belly. What a terrible role model for the overweight community. Just think the wonders a professional running back that refuses to adhere to society's "athletic" norm could do for the self esteem of big people everywhere, and instead he's bitching about Twitter mentions? Really!?! We are talking about a guy that was collecting a biweekly middle class salary because he was able to shed 2-3 measly pounds between offseason weigh-ins. He made more money off getting signed as a gluttonous garbage dump than a vast majority of people will make working their 9-5 for the next 12 months. When you've legitimately profited off tipping the scales it might be wise to wipe away the Lo Mein noodles, lean in, and take some harmless - albeit excessive - ribbing on the chin. If only because you have backup right underneath it. NJ.com- In his first public comments Wednesday, Jets acting owner Christopher Johnson offered a firm and direct response to the idea that the organization is tanking in 2017. "It couldn't be further from the truth," he said. "I want to win every game. Every player in that locker room wants to win. What you're seeing, I think, are growing pains. These are young guys. There are some older guys on the team. Some of them, they're doing an extraordinary job. But I think you're going to see this team get better and better and better. That's what I'm looking for. And we are definitely not tanking." ------- Oh...okay... I want you to close your eyes and picture an alternate universe in which this patently absurd declaration were true. In that mysterious world - where the New York Jets have made a tried and true organizational effort to compete - exists the only acting owner in sports that is markedly worse at running a successful franchise than Christopher Johnson, and he just so happens to be Christopher Johnson's twilight zone twin. I know that one of the 32 extremely wealthy men tasked with upholding the competitive spirit of a product that's worth billions upon billions of dollars doesn't stand to benefit from saying that his team is actively compromising it. That said, if the New York Jets truly aren't tanking then plausibly going 0-16 is actually the least of their worries. In essence, the league likes to hear that the Jets are definitely trying their hardest to win. However, that same sentiment might give their most loyal fans a goddamn aneurysm, because it would mean that their owner isn't qualified to staff a McDonald's, never mind an NFL front office. Really what it comes down to is avoiding the word "tanking" when you are actually tanking. Like, if a journalist even brings it up you need to fake an irregular heart palpitation or something, because trying to change it's definition is a surefire admittance that you're guilty of it. Though their piss poor quarterback play might suggest otherwise, the Jets aren't voluntarily throwing games away. Every player in their locker room is a professional athlete who understands the fragility of their status as such that isn't going to risk their future employment on the off-chance they get to share said locker room with a hypothetical highly-touted college kid in the future. If that were what "tanking" was then tanking wouldn't exist in professional sports because you don't reach that level of competition without being irrationally competitive. Tanking doesn't involve asking your players to lose. It's a dedication to employing players that are physically incapable doing literally anything else. If that's not what Christopher Johnson's goal was when he traded/let go of damn near every above average player on the Jets' roster and decided to roll the dice with a quarterback trio of Josh McCown, Christian Hackenberg, and Bryce Petty then he's somehow far, far dumber than he thinks his audience is. Just what youth sports needs. A couple strong male role models...letting their frustrations with each other result in the type of sloppy, awkward wrestling match that you'd expect to see near the bathroom of a dive bar right around last call. I don't what initially caused the argument that led to one grown man trying to choke the life out of another grown man, but I have to imagine it was something super important...like a disagreement over what situational play was less likely to get completely botched by absent-minded 8 year olds. Seriously though, how weird would it be for me to say that I can kind of understand how something like this might come to pass? I'm not excusing the two adults that made complete asses out of themselves in front of other men, women, and children in broad day light, but you have to be pretty passionate about football to want to coach it. I'm sure that passion results in aggravation when you're trying to get little brats to stop running around as aimlessly as those magnetic pieces in the old school electric football game. Sure, it's asininely immature to get violent in front of those that have sponge-like brains that are supposed to be learning from you, but - relatively speaking - it's more acceptable than publicly berating a 3rd grader for cutting off his route short of the sticks. Considering society's uptick in ADD, I can't fathom the patience it takes to teach kids their blocking assignments, so I'm just glad that Buddy Stephen's potential protege decided to ring the neck of someone who is of age. The Baltimore Ravens Tweeted And Deleted A Photoshop Of Queen Elizabeth That You Can't Unsee9/20/2017
I...I...I...just can't tell you why, but I find this photoshop incredibly intriguing. It's obviously ill-advised and surely at least mildly offensive to the nation that had it's prominent female monarch defaced on behalf of online fan engagement, but intriguing nonetheless. Maybe it's the attention to detail required to include the red raven eye or maybe it's the bird's unbelievably smug smirk caused by the schnoz of a 91 year old woman, but - regardless of it's level of appropriateness - that photoshop is nothing short of mesmerizing. Now, I don't know what kind of "recreationally enhanced" thought process led a social media manager to 'Microsoft Paint' a purple bird across the face of anaristocrat that is basically the personification of nobility, but something tells me that this is proof positive that England isn't ready for it's own football team. There are probably a bunch of Londonites perturbed that their city is opening up it's stadium doors to an organization that - if only for a couple of seconds - valued retweets over royalty, and to be true NFL city you have to embrace even the most shamelessly American aspects of it's fandom. It's a real "if you can't accept us at our worst then you don't deserve us at our best" situation, if you ask me. Granted, the version of "our best" that they get annually get treated to usually involves the Jacksonville Jaguars so I suppose I can understand their irritability, but the United Kingdom is going to have to have to let a hell of a lot more unbridled obnoxiousness slide if they want to have an NFL team all to themselves one day. “We embrace any team that comes, we’re certainly happy to have the Chargers in L.A. But I think we could have been happy with just one [team], too.” - Los Angeles Mayor Eric Garcetti ----- I guess my only question is whether or not Dean Spanos and crew did literally ANY research whatsoever before deciding to uproot the Chargers to Los Angeles. Seriously, is it possible that an NFL owner didn't have even one single conversation with a knowledgable person that might have a better idea of well the presence of his organization would be received before moving it within the geographical equivalent of a spitting distance away from another recently relocated franchise? Like, I know it's far too early to make an official judgement on a team that's still years away from playing in a regulation size stadium that was built for their sport, but if the 'Los Angeles Chargers' end up being even mildly successful it certainly won't be a credit to their ownership's extensive investigation into fan interest in the area. I wasn't a fly on the wall so I can't say for sure. However, if the mayor's apathy towards their addition is any indication, then the Chargers' idea of a "focus group" may have been sitting a bunch of wealthy, out-of-touch white men in a conference room and having them stare intently into each other's eyes while beating their dicks to the thought of penetrating the Los Angeles market. Due to his profession, Eric Garcetti had all the incentive in the world to sound excited about the Chargers on a public platform...and he essentially gave the same answer you'd give to a waitress that asked if you wanted a refill on a half-full glass of water. Comparatively speaking, that response made "eh, I guess so" sound like "yes sir, may I please have another". If that's not a sign that the Dean Spanos did the much, much more costly version of submitting the official seating chart and paying the caterers before even sending out the RSVP's then I don't know what the hell is...
So, there it is. The 1st round pick - that was attained via the trade of their former All-World tight end - has officially been flipped for a future 5th round pick. The player who went from a promising prospect in his rookie season to a damn near unplayable liability in even the most piss poor of defenses one year later officially has a new home, and I'm a little concerned with my initial reaction to the deal. If you ignore how high Stephone Anthony was selected then getting anything of note for a guy that probably only claimed one of the last couple of spots on this year's roster so that the organization could potentially trick another team into taking the bait on his unfounded potential has to be considered a steal. A draft pick becomes a sunk cost once you make it, so it makes no sense to keep inflating that price by dumping time and effort into an investment that you've yet to get a legitimate return on. The fact of the matter is that the former Clemson linebacker has been given more than enough opportunities to prove himself, and with those opportunities he proved that he's not any better than the collection of mid-round picks, lost-cost veterans, and former backups in front of him. In the sense that a known player that likely should have gotten cut retrieved the unknown that is a future player, you have to love what the Saints did here. On the other hand, it should probably make fans a bit squeamish that this is low the bar has been set by the current regime. Like, as far as getting bang for their buck, turning a former 1st round pick into a future 5th round pick is sadly one of the beneficial trades they've made of late. I guess what I am trying to say is that the fact that they managed to get an asset for Stephone Anthony shouldn't make you feel any better about how laughably they managed the asset that they used on Stephone Anthony. I don't care how much you love Max Unger, because this move is basically an admission that the Jimmy Graham trade - like so many before it (Kenny Stills, Darren Sproles) - was an abject failure that officially did less than nothing to fix a dog shit defense. But hey, with the way that defensive players like Malcolm Jenkins and Akiem Hicks have prospered following their departure from New Orleans, I should probably count my lucky stars hoping that Stephone Anthony doesn't develop into the second coming of Zach Thomas on Miami's watch. Sadly, that would have to be considered a win with often the Saints have ended up on the losing end of personnel decisions.
NorthJersey- The Devils announced on Tuesday that veteran center Brian Boyle, signed as a free agent this summer, has been diagnosed with chronic myeloid leukemia, a bone marrow cancer.
“It’s largely treatable and it appears to be early in the disease,” said Dr. Michael Farber, the medical director of executive health at Hackensack University Medical Center and the Devils team internist. There is no immediate timetable for Boyle to begin treatments – Farber said Boyle’s CML can be “largely treatable with medication” – but Boyle said he’s hoping to be in the Devils’ lineup for their Oct. 7 regular-season opener against the Avalanche at Prudential Center. Boyle said he has been feeling fatigued this summer but chalked it up to having a 2-year-old and an infant while traveling between Florida, Boston and New Jersey. But bloodwork taken on Thursday when Boyle reported to Devils’ training camp for medical testing produced the diagnosis. Still, Boyle, 32, was very upbeat on a conference call to announce the news. “I’m expecting to live my life, to live a normal life,” Boyle said. “I believe I’m in good hands." “My mindset is on Oct. 7,” Boyle added. “I don’t like missing games. I feel as close to normal as you can feel." -------- Oh...okay? To be honest, I'm not too sure how I am supposed to feel right now. Somber? Relieved? Some extremely uncommon combination of the two? Like, obviously I am glad that they caught this early on so that neither Brian Boyle's career nor - much, much more importantly - his life are likely to be in serious jeopardy. However, it's pretty damn rare that you simultaneously get news that someone has a form of cancer annnnd will also potentially be ready to resume athletic competition at a professional level in no more than three weeks. I suppose it's better this way, but it's certainly odd to digest a diagnosis of one of the most debilitating diseases know to man...at the same time as finding out that that the person stricken with it is could already be well on his way to triumphantly beating it. If I don't come off as sorrowful right now then it's solely because Brian Boyle's shockingly casual and overwhelmingly positive outlook - from both a personal and professional standpoint - leads me to believe that I shouldn't be. That's surely the hard-nosed, irrationally confident hockey player in him showing itself, but it's also probably a reflection of the timeliness of the medical testing that ultimately uncovered an insanely hazardous health issue. Either way, thoughts and prayers go out to Brian Boyle and his family, and let's hope there's no reason to feel anything other than unbridled optimism until he can get back to officially living a cancer-free life both on and off the ice. For what it's worth...
Western Michigan 'Roided Up Their Mascot, And Now There's a Petition Out There To Change Him Back9/19/2017 Change– Buster Bronco is an icon. A fun loving WMU goofball. At the sidelines of a football or basketball game, or out in the community, Buster is Kalamazoo’s favorite mascot. But Western Michigan University has changed him, “updated” him to be more lean and athletic. In the process, we’ve lost the very heart and soul of who Buster is. What is wrong with the Buster we’ve had? He’s classic and has a unique look for the university that’s been around for years.
Let’s bring the Buster we know and love back. Fight on fight on for Buster! ------- Change for the sake of...well...change, what could possibly go wrong!?! Honestly, I find it fairly amazing that sports organizations - whether they be professional or collegiate - almost exclusively find a way to screw up decisions that don't even need to be made in the first place. It's like they don't realize the sentimental value of tradition or the age old, fool proof concept of leaving well enough alone. If it's not broke then don't fix it, and a fairly dumpy horse named Buster that calls a college campus home was most definitely not in need of a lifestyle makeover. Obviously it's a non-story that WMU changed their mascot from a potentially stoned Bronco who is as lovable as he is dopey to some high horse, fratty douchebag who cares too much about his appearance. I just can't seem to figure out why they even thought that dosing their mascot with HGH would be met with praise in the first place? I swear, it's like the people whose job it is to relate to fans don't realize that those fans spend the average school night taking years off their life. Why would they want to wake up at 6AM on a Saturday in order to binge drink until they can't see straight just to stumble inside the stadium and get body shamed by a vascular horse who came straight from working out at the stables in a jersey that's two sizes too small for him? They should bring back the original Buster. Not only because he's relatable to the people he engages with, but because the new Buster is try hard asshole that didn't have the common courtesy to wait until after graduation to better himself. Plus, I'd rather have a mascot that's looking for munchies than one that's prone to mood swings. |
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