BYE FELICIA!!! As a matter of fact, I take that back, because I wouldn't want to insult Felicia's coverage skills. Plus, Brandon Browner probably holds on to a man better than she ever could. Anyway, Amen. A-FUCKING-Men. And they say that only bad news comes out on Fridays? HA! This is the best news have gotten all year. Fuck the Panthers and the Broncos. The moment I read this screenshotted Facebook post that originated from Instagram but ended up as a tweet was my Super Bowl. Where's my confetti? I am about to make it rain tears of joy. No more weekly, obligatory blogs about Brandon Browner being an asshole. I might even see an incomplete pass this year that doesn't result in a yellow flag being thrown 3 seconds after it hits the ground. I don't even need a Lombardi Trophy to celebrate a victory of this magnitude.
Did Brandon Browner just write a love note on his way out the door? Is this one of those "don't know what you got until it's gone situations"? Ever gotten super comfortable in a bad relationship and then had the other person end it. Then, and only then, do you finally realize that you have actually been a huge cocksucker to that person for months and months on end. I think Brandon Browner just had that moment of clarity. That moment where it all clicks and you say to yourself "oh yeah, this is actually all my fault". Yes Brandon, you do deserve this. You earned this unemployment. Part of me wishes he didn't take this as respectfully as he did. I don't want Brandon Browner waxing poetic about New Orleans. I wish he just kept kept running his mouth -like he did all year- so people could realize the true lack of intelligence we are dealing with here.
New Orleans doesn't want your love Brandon. Saints fans don't want your appreciation. Oh course it's a great city. Oh course it's a great organization. We don't need the guy that constantly took the fans and the franchise for granted to confirm that for us. The dickhead's dickhead is trying to leave with class? Is this the figurehead of fuckery bowing before us? If this virtual thank you card took physical shape I would fly it back to his doorstep, wipe my ass with it, and light it on fire. Thanks, but no thanks. No, you are not fucking welcome. You don't get to suck that badly on the field, act like a true jackass off the field, and leave on good terms. Not after the blown assignments, stupid penalties, fights with the media, arguments with your coaches, and rants on social media. It's far too late for pleasantries now Brandon. Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.
And now, a photographic tribute to Brandon Browner's time as a New Orleans Saint...
::Intermission/ Pause for laughter::