Metro- A photo of the Children in Need mascot with a young girl appears to show a penis as part of the Pudsey costume.
And the BBC has revealed that the outfits ‘are not designed to look as this one does’. The mother of a seven-year-old girl who took a picture with Pudsey told The Sun: ‘There didn’t seem to be anything wrong at the time, but I sent the picture to my sister and she replied telling me to have another look. ‘It could be they were genuinely raising money for Children in Need, but who is to say this wasn’t a paedophile using the charity suit to get near kids?’ Having been contacted by the woman, the BBC said: ‘The Pudsey mascot suits are issued with guidelines on how they should be worn and used to make sure Pudsey’s appearances are appropriate. While I have no idea what a teddy bear penis would actually look like, I do have to admit that whatever is dangling between Pudsey's legs does seem to be a fairly accurate portrayal of an unaroused dong. Fortunately, I have it on good authority (my own personal common sense) that companies don't mass produce anatomically correct costumes of children's cartoon characters. Shit, I'm pretty sure even the most dedicated of furries shopping at the most adult of superstores have some slicing and dicing to do before their outfit is ready for the bedroom. Call me crazy, but I just can't see there being a huge market for a BBC bear sporting a flaccid piece of material that mildly resembles the male reproductive organ. That's why I am going to assume that either a rip in the undercarriage or a Kriss-Kross-esque wardrobe malfunction caused an unfortunate visual for this poor bastard sweating his actual dick off while taking pictures with a bunch of enthusiastic kids with a paranoid mother. I mean, seriously. Other than a ruined photo-op, what is there to worry about here? I don't know any pedophiles so I can't be positive, but I would venture to guess that if they did manage to get their dream job hugging kids in the mall then they wouldn't go out of their way to make themselves look like the stuffed animal equivalent of a sexual predator. Let's be real, a child molester that open would've never made it through Chris Hansen's first season. At worst, this was some teenager playing a sick joke, but more than likely it was the result of some hungover idiot not paying attention when he put the suit on. Regardless, if you see a sliver of furry material hanging by a crotch of a costume that represents the logo of the UK's biggest charity for disabled children and immediately think "I'm so sure that's a dick that I am going to take this to the media" then you are the one with the sick mind.
0 Comments
You're probably saying to yourself "why the hell should the inability of the Rams left tackle to apparently do anything right make me feel better about the Saints season?". I can assure you the answer to that has very little to do with the fact that they could easily be taking advantage of that glorified turnstile come Sunday. You see, it's not the person that currently resides at #1 in penalties over the last two years that should help you realize that this year's 4-6 is not like last year's 4-6, it's the person sitting idly at #2...
I guess what I am trying to say, in the most simplistic of ways, is that things aren't "Brandon Browner bad". That might seem like a moral victory and I can assure you that is absolutely is, but this Saints team - despite sporting an all-too-familiar win-to-loss ratio - is not the same as we've seen in recent years. I don't want to say they are better than their record says they are because I wouldn't want the mere implication to make Bill Parcells' turkey neck tremble in defiance during Thanksgiving week. However, if the 2016 Saints are truly representative of a 4-6 team then the 2015 Saints were more representative of a 1-9 team at this point, and I genuinely believe that's only a mild overstatement. The defense is mediocre - which is too say that it's vastly improved - and even while making a myriad of unforgivable mistakes they has hung tough with basically every "good" team in the league that's not coached by Bill Belichick. The special teams play has been comical at best and handicapped at worst, but that issue pales in comparison to watching Brandon Browner frantically clutch jerseys and desperately grasp at ankles while opponents lightly jogged by him with ease. This team - as disappointing as they have been at times - looks to be headed in the right direction. It would take a miracle to make the playoffs given their undeniable inconsistencies, but their performance throughout what is unquestionably the first light part of their schedule should say a lot about them going forward. Let's hope it's only good things, because any steps back would really put a dent in the relative progress they have made thus far. Personally? I remain optimistic. I mean, how could I not be with some nameless man walking in off the street 10 games in to fix the kicking woes that have been directly responsible for half the team's losses?
Ray Lewis criticizes Joe Flacco for his "lack of passion":
Joe Flacco answers back:
"It's a little surprising coming from Ray," Flacco said after Friday's practice. "But it's been something I've dealt with probably back before high school. It's just part of my personality. When things are going good, it's questioned as if it's a good thing. When things aren't going as well as you might like them to be, it's always a question as to whether is my personality is that of one fits what an NFL quarterback should be. It's not anything I'm not used to. But it is a little bit different coming from Ray." Ray Lewis apologizes:
Look, I don't have a problem with Ray Lewis apologizing for saying disparaging words about a former teammate that helped him go out on top with a second Super Bowl ring. What I do have a problem with is him using his criticism of a former teammate and his subsequent apology to said former teammate as a completely contrived way to get himself, and his new network home, some publicity. Ray Lewis was sitting there going back and forth with a person that talks out of his ass so much that it's debatable whether or not he needs a breathe mint or a colon cleanse during a live segment that was dubbed "What's wrong with Joe Flacco?". He literally rambled on and on about his former quarterback's flaws as a player and person for upwards of two goddamn minutes. Don't you dare try to tell me that wasn't prearranged when it was sure to get people talking about a conversation that took place on a channel that nobody fucking watches. I understand that Ray Lewis' role at FS1 is just to ramble on and on until he gets a reaction, and that's fine. I just don't need to hear him preach about how his full length dissection of a player's personality "wasn't about" that player. I'm actually more insulted by the fact that he apologized to Joe Flacco for shitting all over him, because it's serves as a refusal to admit that he was just doing his job. Ray Lewis has carved out a nice niche for himself by being the hypocritical, holier than thou former athlete whose words contradict a playing career that was riddled with controversy and crime. The only thing less respectable than doing that is saying "sorry" for it when he knows damn well that he's not. HA! A bird getting shit on by a person! Get it, because birds usually shit on people? GENIUS! And somewhere in NFL headquarters, Roger Goodell just let out a sigh of relief. This simply has to be the type of thing he was looking to see when he banned teams from engaging their followers using despicable things such as their own goddamn highlights. After all, he basically forced professional organizations to illicit the help of poop jokes for their online interactions with all the endless amount of penalties he's set in place to shield children from all the evil air-humps of the world. I would have to imagine that ironic, disrespectful claymations that resort to bathroom humor are just elementary enough for his liking. This does a perfect job catering to the all important kids whose innocence has been compromised by the PG-13 celebrations of NFL players. Hopefully watching a Play-Doh Viking drop a discolored deuce on an overly cheerful, unsuspecting cardinal will make our youth forget about all those sexually suggestive dances and the excessive violence of the sport in which they take place. Stuff like this should serve as a hell of a distraction as Luke Kuechly is getting carted off the field looking like he just had a decade cut off his lifespan. And to think, it likely wouldn't have come to fruition if the NFL didn't want to keep all eyes on their own thoroughly monitored account that would never post anything that needed a 'Parental Advisory' warning.
It's no secret that I was a pretty big fan of Beau Bennett's ability to make light of his injury woes before the season started. The thing is, it's easy to be entertained by humorous admissions of fragility when said fragility isn't having an tangible impact on your team during meaningful stretches of the season. I would be lying if I said I wasn't a little bit worried that the bloom would come off Beau's rose when he was watching from the press box after fracturing the roster's depth the first he was helped off the ice. Fortunately, the health concerns that have become a source of comedy have yet to become a source of frustration. For that reason I'll continue to laugh along with every retweeted photoshop as long as the target of it isn't posting it from a hospital bed. I can't say I will find them as funny if Beau Bennett is on the IR, and that's mainly because he has proven to be a solid contributor to the lineup since being inserted into it. That might sound like a glorification of a player who has all of zero goals on the year, but I actually think it's quite a compliment to say that he's been able to stand out in a positive way despite finding new and improved ways not to score. Years of watching an offense more fruitless than Dustin Byfuglien's diet probably has me hardwired to find the good in players that can't find the back of the net with the help of their WAZE app, but I stand by my opinion that Beau Bennett's playing some damn good hockey recently. I want to say that being able to finish at a level that didn't give Jacob Josefson's miserable shooting percentage some excessively depressing company couldn't hurt, but with Beau Bennett who is say what is or isn't a necessary safety precaution?
I'm not here to question the character of Dak Prescott. I have no reason to believe he's not a super great guy that picks up after himself, respects other's property, and even does a fair bit of work in the community. I just think the reaction to a video of him grabbing his own rebound says more about those reacting than it does about him. Seriously, if feeling compelled to finish the play after embarrassing yourself by failing to a complete a fairly simple task is a reflection of how good of a person you are then my non-recycling ass is basically Mother Teresa reincarnated. I think some people are convinced this is an example of his meticulousness but as someone that has (probably wrongfully) considered himself a competitive athlete for quite some time, this was just Dak wanting to see his last shot go through the "hoop" before leaving the "court". Nothing more, nothing less. I'm not saying the guy doesn't take his trash out to the curb every garbage day, I'm just saying that this little 6 second clip isn't proof positive that he does. I'm all for praising the the game day rituals of a rookie quarterback that hasn't lost in two months, but maybe we can raise the bar for what we find exemplary about his season. He's accomplished far too much on the field to require a collective fluffing from the public every time he decides to keep the sidelines clean by slamming home a dixie cup to make himself feel better about missing the trash can from 2 feet away. I know the current standards for NFL quarterback play aren't exactly high, but they shouldn't be so low that we feel the need to commend them for not littering. P.S. Poor Tony, guy put on a fake ass smile for so long that it eventually stuck. Won't be too long before he's not allowed within 100 yards of a playground with his new look... If there's one thing you can be sure of in sports it's that when Colin Kaepernick literally does anything - on or off the field - his intentions are going to be judged. That's why i would imagine there are a couple schools of thought in regards to him choosing to keep a public record of every dollar he's donated to the cause he damn near martyred his entire reputation in support of. Surely there are some that think it's just him looking for credit, just as there are some that think it serves as proof of his efforts to an increasing skeptical public. Let's be honest, Kaepernick7.com could probably cause such a completely unproductive debate about the socially acceptable amounts of anonymity and candor that it could have been the subject of a 'Curb Your Enthusiasm' episode. Myself? I tend to think this is just an act of self preservation. A way to show people that he's actually working to his million dollar pledge and committed to making a difference. In theory I can respect such a move from someone who willingly put himself under a microscope, but in practice he's done a pretty shitty job of shielding himself from criticism. You see, people aren't taking to the internet to look up the good that Kaepernick has done. Instead they are taking to the internet to look up everything he or hasn't done that can potentially damage his legitimacy as the spokesperson for equality. That's not to say he shouldn't publish a website that details every charitable cent spent, buttttt maybe that should have been second on the agenda behind registering to vote. Far be it for me - someone who didn't vote - to tell another person what to do with their inalienable right, but I'm not the figurehead for a movement that works in direct opposition of the campaign of a Presidential candidate who seemed to cherish his role as an oppressor. I don't give a fuck if Colin Kaepernick wrote in the corpse of Malcolm X on his ballot, as long as he was legally able to fill out a ballot. Either protect your image or don't protect your image but don't half-ass it and throw a bunch of monetary figures around after basically inviting analysts to take shameless, unnecessary pot shots at you, because that's the type of shit that will always have overly "Patriotic" people questioning your motives... Fine, I Guess It's Time To Admit The Devils Are A Better Team When Taylor Hall Is Playing11/20/2016 I know, I know. It's only been three games and it seems a little early to tip-toe out on to the most vulnerable of limbs, but I think I'm already comfortable conceding that the Devils are better off when their fastest, most talented forward has two fully functioning knees. I don't want to jump any guns or anything, but not having a creative playmaker - that can make something out of nothing - at their disposal may be of detriment to an offensively starved team. That's not to say Taylor Hall's stint on the IR is going to completely counterbalance the Devils unlikely hot start. I actually think there has been a lot to be optimistic about during his short absence from the lineup. Unfortunately, the decrease in margin of error - that is the direct result of his injury - is the type of thing that's going to cost them games like their undeserved loss to the Ducks. Giving up two goals in such a short amount of time that they could both be included in one social media clip isn't exactly going to lend itself to the success of a team that's playing without a top 5 shot producer in the entire league. Now, if someone found the fuse box and gave a particular special teams unit an injection of power in their play then it would probably do wonders in easing the burden of losing their best winger for a month. If the two guys that combined for 60 goals last year contributed even 60% of what they were expected to coming into the season then maybe the Devils aren't currently treating a game against a Cup finalist as a chance to salvage a road trip. If the rest of the forwards didn't collectively decide to sit back with their thumb in their ass and stare in awe as Devils' defenseman actually produced offensively then maybe the last two contests play out a little differently. Not having (the new, improved) #9 on the ice certainly isn't the only thing has cost this team points. It's that not having #9 on the ice makes the rest of their issues that much more glaring. That said, the Devils proved they can handle the adversity in Dallas. Unfortunately, they also proved that it can get the best of them in Los Angeles. The fact of the matter is that they are far superior to last year whether or not Taylor Hall is playing. The depth, team speed, and offense from the backend are all markedly improved. The real question is whether or not they are superior enough to hold serve towards the top of standings until he returns. I think this upcoming game against the Sharks should do a hell of a job of answering that, because the mixed bag of results has been filled with anything but consistency. SportingNews- Now, in his first season in the China Basketball Association, the 6-8 small forward is still chucking it up from long range. Smith attempted 18 3-pointers, sinking seven, in a 41-point outing during which he also grabbed 19 boards and blocked five shots off the bench.
It's...it's...it's perfect. I don't know even know what else to say other than that has to be considered the game of Josh Smith's life. No, it wasn't remotely efficient nor did his team actually win, but....numbers baby! Eighteen three pointers? Making them at a percentage that's juuuuuuust barely good enough to justify shooting more? Racking up so many rebounds and blocks that you have no choice but to assume he's an athletic freak that's contributing heavily on both sides of the floor? If my hypothetical children are really into overrated basketball players that were given far too many chances and had ZERO self awareness then I am going to show them this YouTube video, because no one embraced the "let it fly" mentality quite like J-Smoove. The man who undoubtedly sat back down at his locker after a loss in a sub-professional league and started nodding his head in approval of his stat line. God bless Josh Smith. There may never another person that lasts as long in the NBA without having any understanding whatsoever of his role on an NBA roster. P.S. Best cameo ever or best cameo ever? LBS- One source, who was close to Rodgers for years but is among the many who have since been cut off by Rodgers entirely, said the quarterback has not spoken to his family since December 2014. Don’t feel too bad, J-Mike. Immediate family members don’t even have his cellphone number. When Mom and Dad sent Christmas presents to the quarterback and his girlfriend that year, the source said, those gifts were mailed back in February. He was set to be the groomsman in the wedding of one of his closest friends, the source said, and texted the day before he couldn’t attend.
He didn’t attend his grandfather’s funeral—the same grandfather he once called before every game. He fired a business manager he’s known since high school. The family was told they were no longer welcome in Green Bay. If Dad wants to attend a game now, he buys tickets on StubHub or goes through another player’s family. ------------ Oh, come on! Not this again. More stories that paint Aaron Rodgers in a negative light? Is this guy every going to be given the benefit of the doubt? So he completely ignores the existence of his immediate family. Big deal. Does that automatically make someone a shitty human being? You probably shouldn't miss your grandfather's funeral, but think about how many times gramps tried to inconvenience with him with post-game chats. You'd skip the celebration of that old, dead bastard's life too if he always annoying you by wanting to keep in touch and show that he cared. Little bit of a weird move to return Christmas presents to the sender, but who hasn't opened a package from family and had the urge to say "I don't want this shit, nor do I care enough to return it"? Aaron Rodgers is basically a pioneer for not just sending a disingenuous "thank you!" text and encouraging the repeated giving of half-assed gifts. I'll admit, I don't know why he went off the grid with his entire inner circle, but on the flip side he's never not returned one of their phone calls. Bet you can't say the same. You want to play the blame game? How come now one ever points the finger his 'Bachelorette' brother? I bet Jordan caused this whole rift between Aaron and everyone - besides Olivia Munn - who has ever loved him. Personally, I don't see why a ridiculously public figure wouldn't be so upset by his brother's attempt to share an iota of spotlight that he would cut all communication with every single person in his life that he doesn't happen to be fucking. I guess what it comes down to is that I am really tired of seeing such a great guy and awesome teammate get the short end of the stick. On the field or off the field, it feels like he's always biting the bullet for someone. Whether it be his lackluster receivers, his forever leaky offensive line, his incompetent coaches, or his lifelong friends that selfishly expect him to honor his commitment to be in their wedding parties - Aaron Rodgers always seems to play the role of the bad guy. I mean, have you ever listened to the analysts during a Packers game?!? It's just never-ending chatter about how Aaron Rodgers mopes and bitches after every incomplete pass. All they talk about is how goddamn stupid people were for trying to call him the "football equivalent of Michael Jordan". It's a constant Rodgers roast and I, for one, am sick of it. Why can't we - as a whole - blindly accept that he's a totally zany, likable dude that might be the greatest football player to ever wear a helmet despite doing very little - of late - to earn any of that praise? P.S. Olivia Munn must be smuggling the goddamn secret garden between her legs, because Aaron Rodgers literally lit the rest of his social life on fire as soon as he entered it. Symbolism on a hundred, thousand, trillion...
I don't think I am saying anything that everyone else wasn't thinking at the time, but this scene right here was downright terrifying...
The fact that one of the best defensive players in the sport was clearly in a different universe was scary enough, but watching him suck in short breathes as if he had to be reminded to take advantage of an endless supply of air was a scene unlike any I can remember seeing on a football field. Not to compare serious, potentially life threatening injuries, but it was almost harder to watch a player struggle to do something we all mindlessly do every other second than it was to watch an incapacitated player lifted and carted off under someone else's volition. As sad as it is, it takes a lot for us to stay tuned when a player is being tended to, but I'm pretty my eyes were as big as ever as they focused intently on one of the biggest, baddest dudes in professional sports looking like a lost puppy that was trying to relearn involuntary human actions. We all joke about how poorly the NFL has handled the head injury epidemic, but it's shit like this that really reminds you that there are morons that won't even admit how detrimental they are while making millions upon millions of dollars off the sport responsible for them. Obviously it's an occupational hazard of playing such a violent game, but - damn - it really puts it in perspective when it's so frightening that both teams temporarily take their mind off said game and focus it on 1 of the 106 people playing it at that given time. Props to Roman Harper for letting Luke Kuechly know it's bigger than football, and let's all hope that he gets well soon. I'll consider this a good sign...
I am not sure whether it's more accurate to say that Morgan Rielly was at a loss for words or if he literally lost the words when trying to comment on the Toronto Maple Leafs youth. Whatever the case may be, going completely blank not only made him one relatable son of a bitch but it perfectly portrayed just about every hockey fan's feelings about the future of the sport. I was just having a chat about the likes of Mitch Marner and Connor McDavid last night, and I'm pretty sure the most commonly used word throughout the conversation was "whew". That may be because there were a couple beers involved, but certainly not enough empties to justify forfeiting all understanding of the English language. That stunned silence that resulted from an NHL player's brain freezing is indicative of what Auston Matthews and Co. have brought to the table more so than calling it "impactful". That empty air space was more telling than the use of an empty compliment. What these kids have been able to accomplish less than a quarter of the way through their rookie (in some case sophomore) seasons is so jaw dropping that it actually takes effort to pick it up off the floor and explain how important it's been. So don't feel bad Morgan. We've all been in that situation where a word escapes us and we feel like the dumbest person within a 10 mile radius of the room we are standing in. It just so happens that in this case it was insanely appropriate. P.S. A tip of the hat to the reporter that stepped in with the assistance. If only everyone were nice enough to interrupt the awkwardness and stop someone from surrendering to "....you know what I mean" or some other replacement term for what they were originally going to say. Then the world would be a much better place. Sometimes you just need to be told there is something in your teeth and sometimes you need to have your sentence finished for you. Let's work together here folks. h/t BarDown LBS- Mike Trout won the 2016 AL MVP award, the Baseball Writers Association of America announced on Thursday. The honor marks the second of Trout’s career, although I’ll argue it should be his fourth (yes – he deserved in 2012 and 2013 over Miggy).
Trout won the award over Mookie Betts, who finished second. Trout received 19th 1st-place votes, 8 second-place votes and 356 points overall. Betts received 9 1st-place votes, 17 2nd-place votes and 311 overall points. The voters pretty much proved it was a 1-2 race between the two of them. 27 of 30 voters had Trout in the top two of the MVP voting; one had him third; another had him fifth; and then you had Oakland-based writer John Hickey, who voted Trout 7th. Hickey, who covered the A’s, saw Trout in person multiple times this season, and the Angels outfielder shined in those games. Trout batted .418 with five home runs against the A’s this season, posting a 1.172 OPS against them. Let me start by saying that - as a casual baseball fan - I didn't know too much about the AL MVP race. I did, however, know that by no count was Mike Trout staring at the ass of SIX people in front of him. So yeah, in that sense it is ridiculous that one particular media member had him ranked that way. At first I thought it was an unforgivable offense for a writer from a rival city to use his bias to try to deny an incredibly deserving player a fairly prestigious award. Then I asked myself "why do I know the name of said writer, why do I know he's from a rival city, and why do I know that he filled out his ballot like an overly subjective asshole?". Literally the only reason that John Hickey ranked Mike Trout 7th is because he knew we would find out that he ranked Mike Trout 7th. I know baseball is a little bit behind the times, but this is the age of the hot take. The era of saying shit that you don't even necessarily believe just because it will get more people to tune in has been upon us, but apparently it has just sunk it's sharp, retweet-seeking teeth into baseball. I don't want to tell the MLB how to conduct their business but it might be a good idea to put a little ink to that unwritten rule book of theirs, because it's ambiguity just got taken advantage of by someone that valued clicks over candor. I can't even say I knew that MVP voting wasn't anonymous/sworn to secrecy. Of course the fact that it isn't led to a situation like this. Mike Trout had a 7th place vote for the same fucking reason that 15,000 people tried to elect a dead fucking gorilla as President of the United States. Here's a hint, that reason isn't because they thought they would have a significant effect on the outcome. That reason is so that they could tell people they did and garner the subsequent attention. The sad truth is that this will make John Hickey more successful at his craft. They might be fueled by the hate of Angels fans or the love of A's fans, but those views are undoubtedly going up because - for better or worse - original opinions have become more sought after than good opinions. P.S. Plus, look at the guy. Are you really surprised? Reebok Is Playing 'White Knight' (No Pun Intended) To Unhappy (Former) New Balance Owners11/18/2016
Reebok: The official brand of non-neo-nazis! Usually I would argue that having a political affiliation can only be bad for business, but I'll be damned if I can't make an exception when it's in opposition of a bunch of Trump-thumping Klan members. New Balance left the door cracked open by endorsing a President-elect that pandered - at least in part - to a bunch of outspoken skinheads, and Reebok is kicking that bitch down and stealing every member of their clientele that feels a wee bit uncomfortable wearing what could be mistaken as white supremacy sneakers. That's just taking advantage of your opponents weaknesses as far as I am concerned. I suppose they are creating their own weakness by ignoring the blatantly racist market, but no trade is without consequence. Ya gotta give something up to get something in return. When you're in the business of selling fashion forward footwear then an exchange that nets you the attention of minorities and the type of people that are sympathetic to their inherent plight is just about as lop-sided as the CP3 trade. Credit to Reebok for seeking out a competitive advantage where you'd least expect it - in the perceived prejudice of the company churning out orthopedics for the impending President of the United States. What a world we Iive in. Bet when Reebok created that "I am what I am" slogan they had no idea it would eventually come to stand for "a progressive, understanding human that believes in equal rights". Oh, when the stars align. Actually, scratch that. I'm not an astronomy major, but I feel like that happens far too often to be an accurate analogy. What's the time intervals between the planets aligning? 100 years? 200 years? I'd say somewhere in the middle is about a reasonable expectation for when Saints will finally manage to turn in a respectable performance in all three phases of the game on the very same night. This team simply plays the exact opposite of complementary football. I want to say that means they play supplementary football, but since their problems aren't rooted in geometry I'm going to have to assume that there are no words that truly explain just how out of sync the offense, defense, and special teams are during at any given moment. Honestly, expecting both sides of the ball to work in conjunction with the kicking game is like expecting three single girls to go out for ladies night and for none of them to end the night crying in the back of an Uber while trying to put her broken high heel back together. It's like putting three people from three separate generations at a Thanksgiving table, saying "so, politics?", and hoping that it ends in a productive, mutual beneficial discussion. A game in which all facets are all working together at even a mediocre level is the Saints' white whale, and their ever-so-slight playoff hopes have drowned trying to find it.
One important question was answered last night. We now know just how "special" a special teams unit can be. Fielding a kickoff that was blatantly going out of bounds for the second time in two weeks? Not only having a chip shot blocked, but having it immediately (or almost immediately) turned into points that ultimately cost them the game? The Saints special teams are only special in the sense that they might medal in the 'Punt, Pass, and Kick' competition if one were to be held during 'The Special Olympics'. I know bounties are a sore subject, but are they as frowned upon if they are only placed on someone in your own locker room? I'm not saying that I hope something bad happens to Greg McMahon, but I am saying there would a little something in it for someone if an "accident" were to take place. Clearly that's the only way Sean Payton is going to replace a Special Teams Coordinator who I would imagine has CTE from all the times he's smashed his head against the same brick wall. Sometimes I just wish this team would suck. As an optimistic fan, 4-4 while riding a hot streak will always seem promising. It will always get me to lean in over the flame. It will always end in me inevitably getting burnt. The Saints somehow make 4-4 seem like 6-2 when in reality it might as well be 2-6. There is no reason, other than the cruelest of fate, that this team hasn't won the last two games. They've made more mind numbing mistakes than any stoner in any over-exaggerated anti-marijuana ad and they have still been mere plays away from victory. The good news is that this team will never cease to be entertaining. The bad news is that more often than not they'll be heartbreaking as well. Props to the defense because people will see that an incredibly average Carolina team had 20 points at halftime and blame them, but the fact of the matter is that they've CARRIED this team the last two weeks. Larry has finally got going, but Curly and Moe are tripping him up. Maybe one day, in the distant future, this team won't have to give a weekly award for 'Stooge Unit Of The Game'. Lions' DeAndre Levy Is Most Proud Of The Time He Shattered Joe Paterno's Leg When He Was In College11/17/2016 Uproxx- [Levy] was most famous for a 2006 play against Penn State, a sideline tackle that accidentally drove him into coach Joe Paterno, breaking JoePa’s left leg. Ten years later, Levy now calls that incident “my proudest moment in college,” as history has since revealed Happy Valley’s sad secrets. “That dirtbag, man,” says Levy of Paterno, who was recently implicated as being aware of child sexual abuse committed by his assistant Jerry Sandusky as early as 1976. “We’ve gotta stop prioritizing sports over humanity,” says Levy. “Just because somebody can throw a football or coach football, they’re excluded from their wicked acts.”
Ah, the ultimate question. Is it better to have broken the leg of one of the most accomplished college football coaches ever and not found out he was complicit in dozens of young, vulnerable children getting molested until six years later, or to have never broken his leg at all? I guess the answer would have to be the former, but it does suck that DeAndre Levy probably felt a little bit of sympathy for that loathsome son-of-a-bitch immediately after it happened. It really is a tragedy that he didn't find out his proudest moment was his proudest moment until he hardly had any recollection of it. I would guess he can't even put a number to the amount of times he's watched video of that hit after learning that it shattered the bones of an enabler of child rape, but it's still not the same. If only he knew then. We could have saved a handful of children from a lifetime of traumatization, and DeAndre Levy could have put a little extra hot sauce on that knee-shot. I know there are plenty of college memories that I took for granted while I was creating them but that's because I was too damn drunk the whole time, not because they were hidden from me - and the rest of the world - by a deep-seated code of silence that all-but-encouraged pedophilia.
ICYMI: Russell Westbrook said he doesn't pay attention while watching tape on upcoming opponents. So, safe to say that Tracy McGrady was a pretty big advocate of film study, no? That was straight passion oozing through those airwaves. That made Kanye West's "I'ma let you finish, but..." look like an appropriate interruption. T-Mac dropping an R-Tard right on Russell Westbrook from the rafters without so much as a "is it my turn to speak yet?" hand raise to his co-panelists. Chauncey Billups deserves a goddamn title belt for rolling with those punches. ESPN might not be too happy and Michelle Beadle is undoubtedly going to ask for an increase in salary if she's also on babysitting duty, but that wasn't the worst analysis I have ever heard. I wouldn't go as far as describing it as "expert" because it was really nothing more than elementary name calling, but - in fairness - it was pretty accurate. Like I said earlier, what we as fans love about Westbrook is that he's the athletic embodiment of 'IDGAF'. That doesn't change the fact that the only real way to describe his refusal to watch game tape is - excuse my french - retarded. Someone who is getting paid by a major corporation to talk about it live on air might want to think about biting his tongue until he can clean up the language up a little bit, but I'd say the general consensus is that what Russell Westbrook said makes him look incomprehensibly stupid. Calling him mentally handicapped might offend some people that aren't capable of putting up triple-doubles without proper preparation, but some other synonym for 'ignoramus' would have been spot-on commentary of the topic at hand.
And that, my friends, is how you get ejected from a professional sporting event and still end up a sympathetic figure. Devin Booker may have told that official he was going to fuck his mother, never call her again, and write her house number on the wall at the nearest rest stop shitter, but I couldn't be more convinced he was the one wronged here. That probably has something to do with him having the face of a 13 year old that hasn't even considered purchasing a razor yet and the guilt-free eyes of an adorable puppy, but his graciousness in getting tossed definitely played a part too. I'm not saying that giving a sarcastic thumbs up, waving bye to your teammates like you just got off the school bus, and calmly signing an autograph for a fan is always going to win you the poll of public opinion, but it's certainly worthy of more compassion than literally all of Boogie Cousins' premature exits. The referee probably did nothing more than his job, but I bet you can't tell me you watched that video and didn't instinctively think that ejecting Devin Booker was a bit of an overreaction. Hell, I'd argue that this all-too-polite interaction actually showed up that official more than a player stomping off in a fit of hysterics, because there's no way someone that looks that innocent is getting T'd up twice unless they deserve it. Hey Klay, first beer bro? Really toughening up that image of yours, one overacted slug from a bottle of alcoholic piss water at a time. I don't care that an NBA player chose to engage in a little post-game nightcap mid-interview, even if was inarguably forced considering the subject of said interview. I don't even want to criticize the person in question for their choice of adult beverage because that would be just as douchey as the way that person reacted to taking a sip from it. What I will say is that I was temporarily paralyzed by second hand embarrassment when Klay Thompson let out an "ahhhh!" so unnecessary that even 'Coors Light' themselves would yell "CUT!" during the filming of their commercial. I wouldn't even be surprised if they tried to charge him for that product placement. Seriously, the only 'Silver Bullet' I want after listening to that cringeworthy audible aftermath is one right between the eyes on behalf of the person that just gave us all a haunting flashback to our early high school years. There will be some overly sensitive parents that say Klay Thompson is a role model that shouldn't be endorsing substance abuse, but trust me when I say that what I just witnessed was the furthest thing from an endorsement. There are freshman frat brothers across the nation that just watched that Instagram video and thought - if only for a second - about taking a night off because the oft-forgotten member of the 'Splash Brothers' just unintentionally pulled the curtain back and showed them that drinking doesn't inherently make you awesome. Remember those old "tobacco is whacko when you're a teen" ads where they used to make to cigarette smokers look like meth addicts for dramatic effect? Klay Thompson's "too cool for school" act while wearing a flannel buttoned up to his Adam's apple just did a similar disservice to drinkers that aren't insufferable assholes that need to remind those around them that they totally drink...bro. Phil Jackson Just Stuck It To Every One Of His Critics By Retweeting the 'Posse Foundation'11/17/2016 I think it's time we come to realize that Phil Jackson - despite spending his entire illustrious career working with African Americans - is still just a 71 year old white dude that's prone to unapologetically saying some inappropriate shit from time to time. I'll admit, I didn't think too much of it when he used the word "posse", but upon further reflection it's tough to argue it isn't at least somewhat racially suggestive. You know what kind of people don't engage in silly activities like "further reflection"? Senior citizens. This shouldn't be news to anyone. It's the same reason you respond to a grandparent saying some mildly discriminatory shit by bitting your lip and looking away instead of ruining your family's Thanksgiving by firing back at them across the dinner table. Phil Jackson is too damn old to change his mind or admit he's wrong. Why do that when it's so much easier to find one tweet, in a web of billions, that implies "posse" has a positive connotation? Give an old man some insight and he'll grumble for hours, give an old man a single source and he'll refer to it until the day he passes. We look at this retweet like it's nothing more than trolling, but for Phil Jackson it was the ultimate dropping of the mic. And hey, he may not be right but at least he's just became a little harder to argue against. Last time I checked they don't name charitable organizations after derogatory terms. You want to say he should have said "entourage" instead? I just checked social media for about 5 seconds and I didn't see any 'Entourage Foundation' putting kids through college. I don't want to dig too deep here, but does this mean LeBron is against higher learning? Just saying, it might be something to consider with his history of schooling. Trying to turn the namesake of a respectable organization into some racially charged slur? It's shameful really. How can you say that skin color has anything to do with a word when the advisory board of the foundation that adopted said word as their own looks like this...
|
Categories
All
Archives
January 2020
|