Let's just get this out of the way right quick, no one should be endorsing this behavior. Russell Westbrook is a professional athlete that gets paid an absurd amount of money to play basketball. That's his full time job and he should treat it as such. That means doing things off the court that can increase his efficiency on the court. Like it or not, he's a leader that should be setting good example in the locker room. Sitting there fucking around on his phone during film study like he's a teenager taking advantage of a substitute teacher is unquestionably a surefire sign that he takes his job for granted. That said, you're a goddamn liar if you say you're not glad he does. This right here? This complete dismissal of the importance of knowing his opponent's tendencies? This is why we were excited to watch Russell Westbrook this year. The flat out cockiness? The braggadocio? If anything, basketball fans encouraged this attitude. We wanted to see him average a triple double while jacking up 35 shots a game. We wanted to him bolt down the court in 1.2 seconds and try to throw down over the entirety of a starting 5. We wanted him to treat every single possession like it was a metaphorical middle finger to Kevin Durant. We wanted him to act as if NBA arenas were his own personal playground. Russell Westbrook simply wouldn't be Russell Westbrook if he was making the "right" or "fundamental" basketball play. That probably makes him an absolute nightmare to coach, but it makes him a goddamn treat to watch. The day that he stops treating professional basketball like a pickup game is the day when the Thunder no longer have a spot on the DVR. I'll admit, he's definitely taken that "now I do what I want" mantra just a littttttle too literally. However, I doubt the game tape on the Rockets showed that they were susceptible to point guards dunking over their big men with their off hand when the game is on the line so I can't really say I'm not happy that he choose to play spades instead of watching it...
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Well...shit. I'm not going to say that this conveniently anonymous man - who is undoubtedly old, rich, and white - is correct because his theory requires a level of cynicism that is even unfamiliar to me, buttttt I'm not exactly at liberty to tell you he's completely wrong either. That's certainly one scary ass way to look at modern society. However, this is a nation that just voted a reality TV star their President-elect while ignoring a campaign that used racism, sexism, and every other divisive type of '-ism' to pander (at least partially) to the uneducated. You mean to tell me you can definitively say it's a nation that's not willing to go back to ignoring life altering brain injuries - that we've already turned a blind eye to for decades - while enjoying our Sunday football? We let "grab 'em by the pussy" slide after a couple days. Who's to say we won't sweep a little more domestic abuse under the rug? This country will ALWAYS love it's sports more than it's politicians, and we just rewarded one of the latter with 4 years of leadership after he treated us all like brainless pawns. Will a regression in the Oval Office boost the NFL's ratings? I have my doubts, but it's more likely that it helps them than hurts them. Our collective intelligence doesn't seem to be trending in the optimal direction, and that's the best case scenario for a league that insults it literally every time they do a Vikings offensive line-esque job of protecting their own fucking shield. P.S. You want to know how much this election fucking sucked? This analogy indirectly implies that the woman nicknamed 'Crooked Hillary' who deleted more confidential e-mails than the entirety of Middle America has ever sent was the ambassador for "the truth" by default. h/t Neil Greenberg
First of all, have some respect for yourself Pittsburgh. Bullying Washington by rubbing a Stanley Cup banner in their face is like pushing a kid in the mud after you've already pulled his pants down around his ankles. You already embarrassed them enough. Pick on someone that can defend themselves. Second of all, yikes. Washington might just regret not tucking their tail on that one, because that was about as cringeworthy as comebacks get. If I really had to choose I'd probably rather live in D.C. than Pittsburgh, but now is certainly not the time to throw the Capital building on a banner and remind people you're the home of The White House. Regardless of your political beliefs, I think we can all agree that keeping up with the election made grinding away in a steel mill look like an enjoyable alternative. The person running the Capitals twitter was pretty much in a no win situation with the team's wealth of playoff failures, but I think pretending you didn't see that tweet was a better PR tactic than using your city's political importance as a Trump card*. * Yes, I already hated myself for making that joke before I finished typing it. Taylor Hall Is Out 3-4 Weeks After Knee Surgery, And It's Time To See What This Team Is Made Of11/16/2016
You want to look on the bright side? Good, so do I. The dark side is a place Devils fans have sent far too much time the last couple of years, and I refuse to revisit it just because the team is facing one of the inevitable trials and tribulations that result from a long, grueling season. I'm sure the Devils knew that losing Taylor Hall for a fairly significant amount of time was a distinct possibility when he was shipped back to New Jersey to have his knee examined yesterday, and that didn't seem to dampen their spirits too much while they played their most complete game of the year. If this team isn't going to let it's effort be effected by the absence of their most dynamic offensive catalyst then I'll be damned if I am going to let my hopeless optimism be effected either. Did the upcoming, road heavy schedule ahead just become a little more daunting? Sure. Are a couple of underperforming players going to have to find their game rather quickly? Absolutely. I'd say that two of those players combining for an overtime goal that pushed the Devils win streak to five was a hell of a sign that that may be coming to fruition. There were no shortage of players (Bennett, Zacha, Lappin, etc.) that took advantage when given an increase in responsibility last night. If that continues I see no reason why this news should be treated as an obituary. This west coast swing was supposed to be a test of this team's character regardless, so why not have it be the ultimate test that requires the upmost focus and consistency from a group of players that seemed dead set on making the playoffs before they got off to this unlikely start? There's never a good time to have your most talented player in a walking boot, but the best (and I use that term loosely) time would probably be when your riding high off a 5th straight victory without him. If the Devils can weather this storm then they may just be better for it in the long term. Am crazy for trying to convince myself that Taylor Hall's injury could prove beneficial? Probably, but check back with me when (Also See: If) they lose a game without him, and make sure you have meditation tips when you do.
Full disclosure? Before two minutes ago I wouldn't have known who Lil' Yachty was if was he sitting across from me at a food court trying to dunk his french fries in ketchup and inevitably missing the tray completely. Obviously that's all changed now, because...well...I don't encounter all that many people with bright pink dreadlocks. Still, I am not familiar with his music though - given the current state of hip hop - I would venture to guess he sounds a lot like a low budget 'Future'. Myself? I'm more of a fan of older artists that were attaching 'Lil' to the front of their rap name when it was still cool, so excuse me if I am wrong for assuming that Lil' Yachty is not someone with staying power in the music industry. More importantly, this guy has to lose his black card, right? As a white male I am fairly certain that I'm not allowed to be the one to officially apprehend it, but I would like to let this blog serve as a notice to the NAACP that there is some African American imposter roaming the streets disparaging their culture. I don't believe in the "either ya sling crack rock or ya gotta wicked jump shot" mantra (R.I.P. Biggie), but I think it's fair to expect rappers to attempt dunks without looking like a toddler that's being held up just a littttttle too far away from a full size rim by their guardian. I don't know what the bare minimum for being able to retain your 'blackness' is, but it's got to be more than the athletic abortion I just witnessed. TheBigLead- Wake Forest coach Dave Clawson said his university is concerned Louisville had access to the Demon Deacons’ game plan before last Saturday’s game and is trying to get to the bottom of it.
“We are concerned that there was some type of security breach,’’ coach Dave Clawson said Tuesday. “I have shared it with Ron Wellman, and we’re doing everything we can to make sure all of our information and data is more secure moving forward.’’ Wellman, Wake Forest’s director of athletics, said Clawson told him of the possible breach on Friday, the day before the Deacons’ lost to the fifth-ranked Cardinals 44-12. Wellman said a member of Wake Forest’s traveling party found the documents at the stadium. Here's what I am not going to do. I am not going to say that Dave Clawson is full of shit. If he just happened to have this particular conspiracy theory waiting in his back pocket then he surely would have busted it out when his team got smacked around by NC State, or when they were humbled by the cadet-athletes of Army, or when they lost literally any other game in which the other team knowing their strategy would have had an effect on the outcome. Why claim that Louisville stole your game plan when Lamar Jackson would have left his footprints all over your back with or without knowing whatever lackluster defense you were planning on laying out in front of him? That's why I have reason to believe that Louisville did have access to Wake Forest's game plan...I am just not at liberty to say that they went out of their way to get it. There's no doubt in mind this was a "finders keepers" situation, because there's no way Bobby Petrino's drunk ass took time that would have been better spent boning boosters to orchestrate a heist of Wake Forest's personal belongings. Sorry Dave, but you only have your own locker room to look into. My bet is that some backup long snapper missed the can when he read "...vs. Louisville" and went to throw away the playbook he undoubtedly wouldn't need. If I were to play the odds I'd bet that a Demon Deacon - who had already resigned himself to a demoralizing loss - got a little careless with his confidentials. That makes way more sense than a National Championship contending team risking their season to get a leg up on some cupcake competition. Yes, even if that team happens to be coached by a man that's just untrustworthy enough to run for President...
I should be happy for this guy. I should be half-heartedly tapping my fingertips ever-so-gently against my palm just to avoid being the only person not clapping. After all, it can't be easy to be John Tortorella's trusted video assistant. Having to review game tape in a matter of seconds so you can quickly make the final decision on plays that could be decided by as little as a centimeter is hard enough. Now imagine trying to do it knowing you'd held personally responsible by some temperamental asshole if the referees had a difference of opinion on what could very easily be a judgement call. I don't envy Dan Singleton, but I certainly do have respect for his ability to tune out a loudmouth, know-it-all and do a job that could potentially have a very real effect on the outcome of professional hockey games. That's why I really want to say it's nice to see him get his due from the entirety of the Blue Jackets' locker room... ...but unfortunately, I can't. Everyone knows that the quickest way to get someone to repeatedly do something is to praise them for it the first time, and the last thing hockey needs is more offsides reviews. You hand out one Revolutionary War hat to honor the work of a video assistant, and next thing you know every footage analyzer whose 20/20 vision is under-appreciated is going to try to challenge their way into consideration for a team presented post-game award. I think I speak for the vast majority of people that haven't benefited from a successful offsides challenge in the last 5 minutes when I say that the unnecessary breaks in action that they cause are momentum killers that are a complete burden on the viewing experience. I'm not entirely sure why they chose to inconveniently fix something that no one thought was broken, but I do know that encouraging rarely utilized film coordinators to play their version of 'hero ball' is only going to make that practice more common. Couldn't they just buy him a cold one and call it a day instead of giving him a premo ass patting in front of his peers?
P.S. Great call though...
I really, really wish that headline was meant in a "I want to crack open a beer and raise it up high in honor of a man who is handling adversity about as well as a competitive, professional athlete can" sort of way. Unfortunately that speech made me want to sit alone in a dark room guzzling warm whiskey from the bottle while accepting that the quickest path to failure is trying. Holy shit Tony. Maybe next time give the viewing public a little heads up before you delve into the most depressing public appearance ever made by someone that wasn't just diagnosed with a terminal disease? You don't just casually turn on 'Marley And Me' if you don't have the urge to get emotional, so I would prefer to know beforehand if I'm going to subject myself to an afternoon full of second hand dejection by listening to a quarterback talk about the bleakness of his immediate future. You know how I know how painful it was for Romo to express his true feelings here? Half the damn statement was given from a second person point of you. It was a bunch "you this" and "you that" like it was a director explaining the plot of some fateful biographical film to the actors he was recruiting to play in it instead of a shell of man accepting the slow death of his prime. There were times throughout that you couldn't even tell he talking about his own career, and I think that's because his personal story has become so disheartening that he was actively trying to separate himself from it. I know it's been fun to rag on him for being an overly fragile player that's prone to disastrous 4th quarter interceptions, but the saddest part of all of this is that I instantly feel uncomfortable making Tony Romo jokes. It almost feels like that would be considered speaking ill of the deceased, because the man up there on that podium was as close to dead inside as someone with a pulse can possibly be. On the flip side, if there was anything that could get him his starting job back it's this video, because Dak Prescott might legitimately quit football just so he never has to go through what Tony Romo just went through in front of that microphone. Uproxx- “I played a prank on my mom,” Howard said on the Doug Gottlieb Show on CBS Sports Radio on Monday. “I wanted to see her reaction, so I told her, I said, ‘Mom, I just got this big contract, $150 million.’ And she was like, ‘Oh my God, from who?’ I said, ‘Utah Jazz,’ and she started crying. And I said, ‘Mom, sorry, I was just joking, I’m coming home to Atlanta.’ And then she was super happy and my family was super excited.”
HA! Whatta knee-slapper! Straight out of the "mom, I just got a call and dad's been in an accident....just kidding, he's out picking up pizzas!" school of comedy. Classic misdirection! Really makes you wonder why Dwight hasn't made his rounds in stand-up during the offseason. It's probably because it's hard to lay low and avoid your nursery full of relatively father-less children when you're a goddamn laugh factory whose on-stage performances would be so sought after that your schedule would have to be public. Say what you want about Dwight Howard, but he has a lot in common with some of the best comics on Earth in that he's a loathsome, narcissistic shit-bag. If you ask me he's got all the "qualities" of a good joke maker. You don't have to believe me though. Mothers know best, and he brought his to tears with a prank so funny that it made her start bawling uncontrollably! You know what's crazy? I am not even sure that this actually took place. Not because I don't think Dwight Howard is enough of a sociopath to derive pleasure from upsetting his mother for no apparent reason, but because it's exponentially more strange to still think it was hysterical enough to discuss it on a radio show months later. If there is an athlete who would just completely fabricate something like this on the spot believing it was the most hysterical prank ever pulled it would be the center for the Atlanta Hawks. I'm sure he got Doug Gottlieb to chuckle after he flashed his big, goofy ass smile that he uses to disguise the vile person that lies beneath it, but that gag stinks and any public figure that would go around using it as their air-filler on a widely disseminated platform is not to be trusted - on or off the court.
2013. Two thousand and fucking thirteen. That's the last time the Devils had a 5 game win streak. If that's not a sign that this team isn't the same as years past than I don't know what is. That's not to say that a couple home-and-home sweeps of bad teams and a shorthanded victory over a beat up Western Conference foe is some sort of 'Miracle On Ice', but it kinda feels that way after the fleeting spurts of success we've been forced to glorify the last few seasons. I have to admit, it's pretty refreshing to take a break from searching diligently for positives and just enjoy the overall performance of a team that's really starting to click. I won't pretend I wasn't worried going into last night's game with Taylor Hall in the press box, but their ability to withstand the temporary loss of far and away their most talented player not wearing goalie pads actually makes me more hopeful for this team's future. Amazing how much more room there is for optimism when your bottom 6 isn't made up entirely of players that players that make great veteran leaders on an AHL team. Seriously, Beau Bennett - a guy whose increasingly impressive play has yet to be represented in the goal column - stepped in and the first line didn't miss a beat. Pavel Zacha got moved up in his place and instantly became far more noticeable on the ice. You'd think those promotions would leave much to be desired in the bottom of the lineup, but the "4th" line was probably their most consistently good unit throughout the entirety of the night. For the first time in a long time the Devils don't just have depth in the sense that they have a bunch of players sitting around waiting to play, they have depth in the sense that those players are capable of actually contributing something. The Devils didn't "find" a way to win last night. They just flat out won. They did so by playing step-for-step with one of the most dangerous teams in the league, and they did so when they could have made plenty excuses as to why they didn't. If their record wasn't enough for you to consider this team improved then just take a look at the two most maligned players on the roster from a year ago. Travis Zajac still isn't going to win any Hart Trophies, but his two way play has quieted nearly every "salary cap guru" that loved nothing more than bringing up the contractual status of the most defensively adept forward on a team with plenty of money to spend. Like it or not, the guy who many considered better suited for a 3rd line role has been a steadying force at the top of the lineup for a 9-3-3 team. Might be time to just shut the fuck and admit that there's a reason that he's been trusted with playing alongside every transcendent talent the Devils have rostered since he's come into the league.
The only player that's been more of a pleasant surprise? The player whose improvement was absolute necessary if the Devils had any hopes at a playoff run. I think a lot of people knew that Damon Severson had the skill set to do what he's doing, but starting the season with an unnecessary turnover that cost his team their opening game had some - such as myself - worried that the confidence still wasn't there yet. Is that egg on my face or the residue left over from Damon Severson running his big sweaty balls straight across my forehead? I don't know what type of talent he's "showing" his bedroom to, but something has that man feeling like he can do no wrong and it's been a goddamn treat to witness. Everyone that has ever taken a road trip knows that the most fun part is always the beginning so Devils fans should proceed with caution during this West coast swing. That said, by playing probably their best overall game without their best overall player this team showed that they have no intentions of slowing down. Let's hope that whatever has kept Cammalleri out of the lineup isn't as tragic as it's starting to seem and that Taylor Hall's maintenance day was that and ONLY that. Not just because bad news would really put a damper on how fun this whole winning thing has become, but because I'll need to enlist the help of a pregnant woman to teach me proper breathing exercises if I gave to keep reading tweets like this....
P.S. You thought scoring a game winning overtime goal was an awesome feeling? Imagine the celebratory shit afterwards... Amar'e Stoudemire Is Over In Israel Trying To Hand Over His Goggles To Refs That Can't See Good11/15/2016 If you're a player that had your NBA career cut short by knee problems and a decision to sign a long term deal with a franchise that could render anyone a "has been" then doing whatever the hell it is that Amar'e Stoudemire is doing out in Israel has to be the next best option. If you still have that itch to play professional basketball then why wouldn't you go overseas, buy part of a team, put yourself in the starting lineup, and start trash talking officials that are too damn scared to say anything back to you? Amar'e Stoudemire is Roger Dorn. Roger Dorn is Amar'e Stoudemire. We are witnessing scenes from the all-too-rare "based on a fictional story" tale of a former All Star's new life. He may not be playing in the most Major of League, but the level of shit he can get away with more than makes up for the difference in competition. Can you imagine how fast he would get tossed if he tried to "correct the vision" of an NBA referee? Instead he's getting a "hey now, be nice" look from an official that he basically just called blind. Is there any doubt he was on the floor for every minute of that game before immediately soaking in the red wine bath (that he had installed in his own personal locker room) and doing a little light Torah reading? Fucking Amar'e Stoudemire. Who could have seen this tranformation coming? From dynamic power forward in one of the most prolific pick-and-roll offenses in basketball history to a rich, Jewish player-owner in the Middle East. If the internet is lucky then this may start a trend.
Precautionary? PRECAUTIONARY!?! What do you mean precautionary? Hey Coach Hynes, why don't you take proper precaution so that my optimism doesn't end up on the long term IR? If you're so worried about the long term health of those invested in the franchise then how come bottles of prescription pills weren't overnight delivered to the doorsteps of season ticket holders who were brought to the brink of a panic attack by hearing this obscure ass news? I know it's only been 14 games, but I don't even know what this team looks like without Taylor Hall anymore. I guess I never expected him to play in all 82 games, but - I got to be honest - I was really looking forward to being pleasantly surprised. Now I'm stuck wondering if a couple of points against the Sabres gave Adam Henrique and Kyle Palmieri the boost they need to re-take the reigns of an offense that has since been transformed into something that doesn't require the excessive, heart compromising intake of caffeine? I don't like this. I don't like this at all. A lower body injury? That's a Lou Lamoriello-esque level of uncertainty that I'm simply not prepared to handle heading into an all-important road trip. If the word's "status quo" even think about slipping from John Hynes' lips I'll be on the first flight out to Dallas to formulate my own second opinion on the condition of the fastest legs in the league that don't belong to Connor McDavid. How dare he hit me with this indefinite bullshit during a 4 game winning streak. If Cory Schneider wasn't starting in net I would have already been arrested for trying to massage the most important thighs in the Devils locker room back to full strength before puck drop. Precautionary, HA! What does he think this is, some type of long season that requires even the most well-conditioned athletes to sit one out and heal their bumps and bruises for the good of the long haul? Fucking unbelievable.
Metro- Two school children shot themselves dead in an apparent suicide pact after live-streaming an armed standoff with police on Periscope.
Police found the 15-year-old couple ‘dead with gunshot wounds’ inside a house in the northwestern Pskov region of Russia after the standoff, the regional Investigative Committee said. The National Guard special forces said in a statement to TASS news agency that they found ‘the bodies of a girl and a young man with clear signs of suicide,’ stressing they did not open fire. Investigators said police were called to the house in the village of Krasniye Strugi as part of the search for a missing teenager, only for a police car to come under gunfire. Katya said in the footage posted on Periscope that there were guns in the house because her stepfather is ‘in the special forces’. Special police spent hours negotiating then stormed the house using stun grenades and found the teenagers shot dead, investigators said. Fucking kids these days. You turn your back for ONE second and they are out doing drugs, having unprotected sex, and live streaming police shootouts that result in suicide pacts. The line that differentiates 'far' from 'too far' in the never-ending search for online acceptance undoubtedly keeps getting pushed back. However, I would like to think we haven't reached a level where "Like to shoot at officer, RT to shoot myself" is something that could potentially exist in the depths of social media. That's not to say that a couple snow days can't result in some stir craziness, but I'm pretty sure that one of the reasons NetFlix was invented was so 15 year old Russian kids didn't break out their parents firearms and start self sacrificial Cold War's when the thermometer plummeted. Do I have to be legitimately concerned that the next generation would rather put a bullet in their brain for shares than go sledding, or is this just a Russia thing? Seriously, how much technology is enough technology to cure teens of their boredom? Would one more fucking iPad to dick around on have saved these kids lives? Ehh, probably not. I'm glad they didn't have it regardless, because these two were destined to be involved in a school shooting sooner rather than later. P.S. Huge win for the "marijuana is a gateway drug that ruins your life and the life of everyone around you for ever and ever" brigade.... The teenagers transmitted footage of their last hours in which they smoke, drink and answer classmates’ messages. The NFL Is Using "The Dress" (Yes, That Dress) To Promote This Week's Thursday Night Football11/15/2016
It's only Tuesday and I already feel dirty. As a Saints fan, I have no choice but to tune in to what is sure to be a mistake ridden contest - between ill-prepared, exhausted teams - that sets football back to the days of leather helmets. However, that's not even why I am disgusted with myself. After all, I am no stranger to feeling obligated to watch piss poor mid-week football. Instead, I am dreading my Thursday night viewing experience because it will be the first time I will be forced to indirectly endorse the use of a 9 month old online phenomenon in the promotional process. Other than not watching 'Thursday Night Football', I don't know if there is a way to let the NFL know that it's not okay to pander to millennials using a viral sensation than died a tragic death 3 internet decades ago. Unfortunately, not watching is simply not an option. And I understand that this now infamous picture had yet to hit the worldwide web when these teams faced off on a Thursday last year. I know that the debate between the hues of some ugly, antiquated dress disastrously happened to match up with the "fortuitous" color rush schemes that the NFL picked for a gimmicky rivalry game. I get it. Other than the timing, it's relatively clever. The only problem is that timing, by definition, is everything. So considering this timing is "traffic jam when you're already late" bad mixed with "won the lottery and died the next day" atrocious, I feel comfortable saying that this commercial is absolutely unacceptable. Especially since it's directed at a demographic that hates nothing more than being reminded of the dumb shit their goldfish brains were momentarily intrigued by in the past. Sigh, if only I could help contribute to the ratings tumble they undoubtedly deserve for this disgraceful attempt at trying to relate to the viewing public. h/t Deadspin DeAndre Jordan Made Some Free Throws Denying T'Wolves Fans Free Yogurt And Let Them Know About It11/15/2016
Wait, that's all DeAndre Jordan needed as motivation to make his free throws this entire time? Practice after practice. Offseason after offseason. He's put up hundreds of thousands of shots in hopes of improving at the foul line, but denying strangers free yogurt was the only thing that could get him to bear down and focus on his fundamentals? He's had countless people desperately suggesting that he shoot like a goddamn grandmother, and the primary problem with his stroke was that there wasn't enough pro bono gelato hanging in the balance? The pressure of playoff basketball couldn't make him a respectable shooter, but - ironically - the pressure of awarding an entire arena a complimentary dessert was just enough to get him to start taking advantage of the charity stripe? Seriously, that's the most emotion I have ever seen from DeAndre Jordan after successfully making an uncontested 15 footer, and it was just because he denied opposing fans the sheer thrill of getting free shit. He reacted like he just dunked all over someone which makes perfect sense since he just posterized every tastebud in the attending audience. Half surprised he didn't go ahead and wag his finger, because that rejection was so sweet it should have been sponsored by 'Pinkberry'. I suppose the main question is how do you recreate those all-too-specific circumstances in other cities that aren't Minnesota, and I'm glad I don't have to answer it. That's for Doc Rivers to figure out...as I feverishly pound my fist against my forehead while an NBA game slows to a screeching halt in hopes that DeAndre Jordan will shoot the losing team back into it from a line where there are no frozen treats at stake. Russell Westbrook Got T'd Up For Kicking An Opponent In The Groin In The Most Original Way Possible11/15/2016 This is going to sound hypocritical since I spent the entire postseason taking Draymond Green to the woodshed (by saying a bunch of mean things about him on the internet) for trying to concuss the head of every penis that came within his 5 foot respect radius, but I don't think Russell Westbrook should have been T'd up here. I know he very likely heel kicked his defender's testicles into his torso on purpose, but he did do in such an inconspicuous way that I would have been just fine letting him slide wth nothing more than an offensive foul. I hate flopping just as much as the next fan. We should expect our professional athletes to play through more contact than the kid that shows up to every gym class with the same damn doctor's note. Surely Russell Westbrook wasn't touched enough to warrant flailing his appendages around like a child who was told to "put it back" while walking down the cereal aisle with his mother. That said, we also watch sports to see people do things that we are physically incapable of doing and I'll be damned if anyone that is reading this can tell me that they are able to seamlessly take a jump shot while reverse punting the dick of the person directly behind them. Say what you want about the social acceptability of no-look low blows, but don't me what you just watched doesn't require talent. For a second there I thought that this play was merely accidental, and that's a benefit of the doubt that Draymond Green will never get if he keeps making his abuse of genitals look so uncoordinated and athletically unimpressive. P.S. I don't think I would ever give Russell Westbrook a technical if I were an NBA official. If him dunking the ball off his own chest into orbit is any indication then I would want no part of drawing the ire of his attitude... FoxSports- Seahawks quarterback Russell Wilson is joining the investment group looking to build a new NBA/NHL arena in Seattle's stadium district.
Lead investor Chris Hansen said Monday that Wilson is ''a young, smart and passionate entrepreneur,'' and is joining the group as a business partner. Hansen's been the primary investor in the project, with members of the Nordstrom family and former Seattle SuperSonics team president and minority owner Wally Walker also part of the investment group. I gave this a lot of thought. Theoretically, I can't really hate on a professional athlete for fully embracing the city he plays in and deciding to include himself in a project that could potentially bring his fans something they've spent years pleading for. As much as it pains me to say this (since their fanbase is a bunch of self important dicks that created a collective nickname as if they have tangibly contributed to the Seahawks success or something), Seattle is a great sports town. It's tough for me to argue that their quarterback shouldn't be fighting to bring them an NBA or NHL team when even I think they probably at least deserve one of the two. That said, this is Russell Wilson we are talking about, so I will stop at nothing to find the bad in a career move that seems unnecessary at best. It's not that I have a problem with him joining the cause, it's that I just don't see how he enhances it. Other than being a recognizable public figure, what is Russell Wilson doing to bring this plan to fruition that a bunch of billionaire businessmen haven't already? It's not money. They certainly have plenty of that. It's not hard work. Between football, raising a rapper's child, making up for all those months that he wasn't fucking his fiancee in the name of the Lord, and tinkering with his never ending list of cliches there's no way he has the time to hammer out the logistics of moving a sports franchise. In reality, his association with the Sonics Arena Group only benefits him. I guess I shouldn't be surprised that the king of lip service just wants to receive undue credit for something that would or wouldn't have happened with or without his endorsement. After all, this is the same dude that name drops Jesus so often that you'd think he was looking for a 'Fast Pass' through the pearly gates. Yup, same guy that panders to a high power so much that you'd think he was trying to get his name in contention for that deluxe cloud-side apartment in the sky. Of course he wants a pat on the ass for something he would have done nothing (other than fondly speak of) to facilitate. I would imagine that's the same reason he thanks God every time he's able to wipe his ass without getting a little bit of shit on his finger. Meet Evan: The 9 Year Old With Down Syndrome Whose Reaction To A Made Basket Will Make Your Day11/14/2016
FTW- Evan Brown is 9 years old and has down syndrome. His family are big fans of East Tennessee State University’s women’s basketball team.
They decided to attend an open practice that was being held for fans where they got the opportunity to meet players and coaches. At the practice, the team’s head coach noticed how loudly Evan was rooting for the team and invited him onto the court. He scored a basket with the help of player Kelci Marosites and his reaction to was epic. I'll be honest. After the first three seconds of this video I was going to sarcastically rag on that ETSU player for brushing up on her fundamentals (in classic women's basketball fashion) by laying the ball up off the glass and finishing the play instead of letting the kid get a few more shots at making it himself. Then Evan went into full celebration mode and brought a rare, unfamiliar warmth to my cold, lifeless heart. Unfortunately in doing so he put a big ass smile on my face and made it next to impossible for me to be try to be funny about this sequence of events. In fact, the only joke I can even think of after watching that clip in full is that Evan enjoyed assisting on a basket more than I have ever enjoyed a single fucking thing in my entire life, and that's really more of an indictment of myself than anything else. In all seriousness, I'm a little bit jealous. There is no amount of adult happy that matches "nine year old kid that's so excited that he doesn't think twice before kissing strange older women on the cheek" happy. So props to the ETSU Women's Basketball Team and their head coach for making this happen, because it clearly made one afflicted little boy's day/month/year/life more than they possibly could have imagined when they first invited him on to the court. Finally We Get A "Reasonable" Answer On Why The NHL Does A Terrible Job Marketing Personal Rivalries11/14/2016
Okay, I admit it. I'm really stretching the definition of the word "reasonable" here. After all, that isn't just a fairly legitimate explanation. The league avoids shining a spotlight on it's most entertaining talents out of absolute necessity. I mean, if the NHL can't learn from it's mistakes then what can they learn from? And before you go babbling on about growing the game and all that happy-go-lucky horseshit, I ask you to remember the great Crosby/Ovechkin ratings recession of 2009. Need a refresher? No big deal, it was just two of most exciting hockey players in the universe damn near ruining the spirit of the sport by going head-to-head in a well publicized series that went the distance, featured three overtime games, and one in which both netted a hat trick for their respective teams. Shit, I was half surprised people kept watching all the way through to the finals after how badly Sid and Ovi scared off the casual viewer by hogging all the postseason attention with their own mano-a-mano matchup. Is that what all these people that are clamoring for Connor McDavid, Auston Matthews, and Patrik Laine to get more airtime want to see? Young superstars developing personal rivalries that are encouraged by the viewership of multiple nationally broadcasted, primetime encounters? Have they no respect for the team aspect of hockey? What kind of world do we live in where the best players are more worth watching than the 4th line grinders that are paid to protect them? I suggest those people that hate the "all for one, one for all" mentality start watching basketball. Lord knows the NBA could use the ratings after ostracizing all their fans by glorifying their most provocative athletes. A Basketball Writer's Marriage Vows Were All Sports References, So How Long Until He Regrets That?11/14/2016
Credit where credit is due. I read "basketball writer gives vows made up entirely of sports references" and I already expected to loathe this video before I even heard one single line. The fact that I didn't hate it despite being preprogrammed to hate such a thing speaks to how well it was executed. Sure, it was clearly done for social media stardom, but I'm willing to let that slide because I can't help but appreciate the diversity of the analogies. Seamlessly fitting J.R. Smith, Ricky Henderson, J.J. Redick, Wayne Gretzky, Mark Messier, and multiple mentions of analytics into a speech and having it coming off as genuine is not easy, no matter what the intentions were behind it. That said, this was an awful decision. Assuming he's not suicidal, then his wife obviously gave this the stamp of approval before he went through with it. However, I don't see that mattering too much when she's holding this over his head for as long as they both shall live. I don't even think this ends in divorce because the new bride would be an idiot to give up her eternal upper hand. The guy just used the most honest, heartfelt, loving words he will ever say to his wife to go viral in the sports world. Something leads me to believe that this isn't the perfect relationship and therefore maintaining it will require a delicate series of checks and balances. This dude just pissed away his only bargaining chip in exchange for likes, retweets, and shares before he even consummated the union! I'm not even close to married and I know that the key to staying married is equality in the power struggle. This poor bastard will forever be crawling out of the grave he just unknowingly dug himself by being the worst dressed person at his own wedding and blatantly pandering to strangers on the internet. The Mrs. may have been cool with it when it happened, but there will come a day when it's used in an argument. On that day, and everyday forward, you can bet your sweet ass that Eric Fawcett will be saying to himself "it just wasn't fucking worth it". h/t FTW |
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