Political 'Personality' Sean Hannity Calls Out Barack Obama For Questionable Workout Regimen3/9/2015 Huffington Post- Sean Hannity of Fox News showed off his mixed martial arts skills on air -- after working in a verbal jab at President Barack Obama's workout routine.
In a segment featuring Hannity training with former UFC light heavyweight champ Chuck Liddell, the conservative host practiced punching and kicking while getting pointers. "If you hit me, I'm in the hospital, right?" Hannity asks Liddell. But Hannity's intro might have produced the most memorable hit. Showing a clip of Obama performing a step routine while he lifts light weights, Hannity pokes fun at the president's "really really strenuous workout" and pulls no punches in further dissing the commander-in-chief's gym work. Is this what mudslinging in 2015 has come to? I mean, I know political figures are no stranger to any and all types of criticism, but the president's workout routine? Aren't there enough debatable issues to attack without criticizing Obama's preference to lift for tone instead of bulk. I get the feeling that Sean Hannity is the type of person that spends more time walking around the gym and critiquing stranger's workout habits than actually working out himself. Probably carries a gallon of water and a towel with him at all times too. Hey Sean, if you need a reason to go around bragging about how awesome your workout habits are then start doing crossfit. No one cares that your popularity has given you the opportunity to train for two whole hours (humble brag city) with Chuck Liddell. There's a reason why you have time to call up UFC fighters and spend an entire day filming yourself in the gym to craft an elaborate joke, while Obama is busy running the country and sneaking in the occasional workout. Christ, Hannity is one short step away from instragraming gym selfies and #bulkingseason hashtags. Now, I'm not going to lie. If you ask me, the president's workout plan does look a little soft. But that's the point, you would have to ask me. I truly believe that if you go around judging other people on how they choose to stay in shape you are the worst kind of hard ass. Plus, if we are talking strictly calories burnt and muscles built I would say that Obama has the upper hand, even in a much shorter video. What did Hannity even accomplish in that "one on one two hour workout". Looks to me like he learned how to throw a punch and play drums on a punching bag. Welcome to 8th grade Sean. Just because you lean hard right doesn't mean you could land one. If you are going to be the asshole that brags about how much better your workouts are you better at least look like you workout. No one wants gym advice from a guy that look like it's his first time. If an Arnold Schwarzenegger doppelgänger comes up to me and tries to fix my form, I am all ears. If a 50 year old in sweatpants tries to correct me I am taking his lunch money and putting him in a home. If simply working out with someone who is tough makes you tougher by association then Sean Avery would have had a far longer career. Chances are he will be wishing he had that Obamacare if he actually tries those moves on a living, breathing human being. I wonder if he knows that no matter how many punches he throws he will never work off the sexual frustration that comes with being a staunch conservative douche. Fall back Hannity, this is a no flex zone.
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What better way to celebrate the beginning of a winning pedigree than by continuing a tradition as old as time itself, putting the proverbial nail in the Flyers coffin. I was going to say that I'm surprised that Philadelphia didn't hold a 40th anniversary celebration for their last Stanley Cup this year. Then I realized that nearly all the players and fans that were around to enjoy it are probably resting peacefully next to the Flyers playoffs hopes. Live look at the Flyers season... Ironically enough, in 1974, then Flyers Head Coach Ray Shero famously said "win today and we walk together forever". Little did he know how true that statement would stand to ring. It's a good thing too. Hell, if there was any time stamp on walking together the Flyers would have passed it by now. The Doc Emrick narrated championship tribute that was aired 20 years ago was named "The Title Is Team". A name that couldn't have been more fitting. A lot of words were repeated this past weekend in regards to the group men that took the ice just 20 years after taking out a page in the history books. Team. Family. Selfless. Sacrifice. If there was ever a team that embodied what it meant to play for the logo on the front instead of the name on the back it was the 1995 Stanley Cup Champion Devils. After the alumni game on Saturday Ken Daneyko mentioned the word 'fraternity'. I think what makes this team, and this event, so special is the casual observer's ability to relate. While maybe not in the most traditional sense, I think that most people can say they belong to a fraternity of sorts. Whether it be a team you played for growing up, a group of high school friends, or maybe your college buddies. Most people have a group that can withstand the test of time and distance. A group that no matter how long it's been, every memory feels like yesterday. To see how cool the weekend was all you had to do was look at the faces on the ice. There wasn't one player that didn't spend the large majority of the weekend with a smile on their face. In fact, I think Lou Lamoriello's face might be stuck like that. That doesn't bode well for future contract negotiations. As they announced the all too familiar names over the loud speaker yesterday I saw the beginning stages of, what looked like, a tear coming from the eye of Sweet Lou. And that's the story of the time that I first realized that Lou Lamoriello might potentially have tear ducts. Marty Brodeur telling Tom Chorske after game 2 of the finals that he felt as big as the net and that there was no way the Devils were going to lose. Scott Stevens taunting the Red Wings bench to the tune of "you're next". Mike Peluso crying his eyes out on the bench with mere minutes left before hoisting the cup. For every story we know, there are hundreds more that we don't. All of which were probably discussed in detail over a few beers this weekend. I don't know why, but I vividly remember sitting in my parents room as a nine year kid watching game 2 against the Pittsburgh Penguins. The Penguins already had already won game one and had just tied up game two with just over a minute to play. My mother was bitching at me to go to bed and telling me "nothing is going to happen in one minute". I remember it as clear as day. No sooner had she finished that sentence did Scott Stevens unleash a bomb from just inside the red line and proceeded to beat the rest of the Penguins to the puck to slide a backhand past Ken Wregget. Every time I see that goal I get chills. I was just a 9 year old fan watching on television. I can't process being able to relive something like that as a player. I get goosebumps every time I watch the highlights. Every time I see Randy McKay scour the glass after scoring in overtime. Every time I see Lemieux unleash a clapper past Ron Hextall to give the Devils a lead with less than a minute to go. Every time I watch Scott Niedermayer fly end to end and net his own rebound. Every time I watch hometown hero Jim Dowd put home the game winner. Every time I see Scott Stevens nearly behead Victor Kozlov. Every time I watch Marty stuff Kris Draper on the goal line with just the shaft of his stick. It all seems so surreal, even all these years later. They say the first one is the most special. Unlike losing your virginity, this is a first that no one involved will ever regret. It wasn't just the fact that they were an underdog , or the dominant fashion in which they reigned victorious. 1995 was significant because it marked the beginning of an era. It signified what it meant to be a Devil and play Devils hockey. A distinction that carried them through to two more Stanley Cups and decades of success. No matter how much time goes by, or how infrequently they keep contact, no one can ever take away their spot in history. No one can ever take away what they mean to each other, what they mean to this fan base, and what they mean to this franchise.
SI- The Albany State men's basketball team was steam-rolled by Tuskegee, 80-63, at the Southern Intercollegiate Athletic Conference tournament on Tuesday. But while Albany State's basketball team advanced to the semifinals, the cheerleaders and dance team were sent home.
During halftime of the game, a brawl broke out between the two universities' spirit leaders. The SIAC later released a statement saying the spirit squads would be banned from the rest of the tournament. I have always maintained that cheerleading is most definitely not a sport. That's not to say that I can do it. That's not to say that it isn't difficult. That's not to say that it doesn't require an extreme amount of athleticism. I just fundamentally don't think that something can be a sport if it depends on the presence of another sport to even exist. Something can't be a sport if 95% of the time that it is being performed it is being performed against no competition. The one or two actual competitions per year don't warrant the label of sport. With that said, if this is what new school cheerleading is about they can put it on the bottom-line on ESPN tomorrow. Fuck it, give them their own channel. Hire analysts to look at game tape. We don't even need basketball or football games to distract us from the action of two squads throwing bows between "be aggressive" chants. A good old fashioned girl fight is arguably more entertaining than any soccer game, outside of the the World Cup, that I have watched. It's easily more intriguing than a division 1-AA football game. Hell, if we started airing cheerleader brawls on television it would instantly be the highest rated female sport. Prep the set for the next 'Bring It On' movie. Make sure to bring extra band-aids and an economy size pack of hair extensions. They can just put these chicks in the movie if they want. Everyone knows production is cheaper if you go with virtually unknown cast members. Not like you need any acting experience to play a cheerleader anyway. Woman Loses Gym Membership For Complaining About Transgender Woman/Man/Thing In The Locker Room3/8/2015 ABC News- Yvette Cormier, a 48, said she was walking into the Midland Planet Fitness locker room last Saturday when she saw someone "dressed like a man."
The person was wearing a wig and "a little bit of blush," but was "huge" and appeared "very manly," Cormier told ABC News today. "I just stopped right there in my tracks," she said. "It was a man for sure." Cormier, who had been a Planet Fitness member for two months, said she went to the front desk immediately. The man at the desk told her that Planet Fitness policy is "whatever gender you feel you are, that's the locker room you're allowed to go in," she said. Wait, I'm confused. Was this just some chick that looked like a dude? Was it a girl with a penis? A boy with a vagina? This damn gender neutral craze is confusing. Can't people just stay whatever gender they are born? If you're born a man but you are into shopping or feelings, just be a feminine dude. If you are girl that is in to Tonka trucks and sports, just be a tomboy. That used to be enough back in the day. Now every damn person that identifies with the opposite gender thinks they need their clothes and sexual reproductive organs to represent such. I don't want to have to play a game of x-rated "Guess Who?" to figure out who/what I am looking at. You think blurring the lines between genders has no consequences? I bet this chick would disagree with you. She just took about 3 steps back on the Kanye workout plan. How is she supposed to pull a rapper, a ball player, or at least a dude with a car come summertime? This is such a Planet Fitness move. They only have weights that go up to like 30 pounds because they don't want to intimidate the out of shape schlubs that roll their ass in there off the street. They give away pizza on Fridays because the mentally weak jabronis need some incentive to unroot their ass from the couch and walk on a treadmill for more than 5 minutes. And now they side with transgenders in all locker room disputes. Seems like a pretty damn stupid business plan to me. If I had to guess, a majority of the people that go to Planet Fitness are still rocking their original genitalia. I would think if you were going to alienate a group it would be the one that doesn't even know it's own gender. That's probably the best way to keep cashing the highest amount of $10 monthly checks. Stop trying so hard not to offend people PF. Shaming people is half the reasons gyms exist in the first place. I'm not saying transgenders aren't people too, but at the same time they don't deserve special treatment. Isn't this policy basically saying that a girl with a dick can basically walk into either locker room depending on how he/she identifies itself that day? Does that mean if I join Planet Fitness and I'm feeling especially moody and sensitive that I can walk into the girls locker room? That just doesn't seem fair to any parties involved. If Planet Fitness is so concerned about this they should just build a 3rd locker room and label it 'TBD'. The best way to solve confusion it to accept uncertainty. Fair to say the presence of a cock in a women's locker room can be deemed 'uncerainty'. If this girl had consulted me none of this would have happened. I have a very steadfast rule in regards to situations like this. If you don't know, don't look. Don't ask. Don't make it weird. It's the best way to avoid making yourself look like a jackass. With that said, you have to have a gender to join a gym. That seems like a pretty fair guideline.
ABC News- "Why is it so hard to see black and blue?"
That's the question many had when a photo of #TheDress "broke the Internet" last week, dividing the majority of users into those who saw white and gold and those who saw black and blue. But today, the Salvation Army in South Africa is using the question on a new photo Twitter PSA fighting against domestic violence and abuse against women. The PSA shows a model wearing a gold-and-white edited version of #TheDress. More controversial than #TheDress, though, are the black and blue bruises and cuts covering her body. So close Salvation Army, sooo close. Unfortunately, like a large majority of 16 year old girls on MTV...you're late. Such a missed opportunity. Who is in charge of their marketing? An entire book club of housewives who laugh about internet sensations weeks after they have become old news? How did it take this long? Black and blue was a lay-up. They should have had this ad viral before people even changed their first opinion on what color the stupid dress was. Quick question, who is a bigger victim of abuse? The chick that is done up in a bunch of makeup looking like she just went a couple rounds with 90's Tyson, or the dead horse that this ad keeps beating? Damn, If only someone found this magical dress a year ago. That would given the Salvation Army plenty of time to create this ad and deliver the message before Ray Rice turned an elevator ride with his wife into an MMA match. Poor guy was just a victim bad timing. Listen, I know what they are trying to do. They are trying to make a popular subject and turn it into their own. Unfortunately the internet moves quick. We aren't using dial up anymore guys. You want to take advantage of the news of the day you better get it out THAT day. When I saw this ad my first reaction was "not this fucking dress again". It wasn't even until closer review that I noticed the girl's face closely resembled a dalmatian. I would rather douse this dress, and anyone in it, in flames rather than feel bad for them for half a second. This reminds me of when the NFL did their low budget ass "no more" campaign. Literally could have put it together in two minutes. Yet it took them two months, two months in which the whole domestic violence issue blew over, for them to finally put it out. The subject of an ad is very important, but so is it's timing and cultural relevance. There's a difference between viral and virus. Unfortunately for the Salvation Army, this dress has become the latter. This goddamn dress makes me sick, no matter what message is attached to it. Sports Illustrated- Pacers great Reggie Miller stopped by Jimmy Kimmel Live! on Thursday night and talked about his reputation as a trash talker, and how he learned early on to keep quiet around Michael Jordan. Still think it's a coincidence? P.S. How about the stones on MJ to call himself 'Black Jesus' before he had even won a championship? P.P.S. Never forget 'The Knick Killer'. The Guardian- The threat that Islamic State (Isis) poses to Egypt has become ever more apparent in recent weeks. Isis’s murder of 21 Egyptian Christians in Libya last month, as well as the killing of at least 30 soldiers by an Isis-affiliate in Egypt’s north Sinai desert, made the group’s once-distant terror seem much closer to home.But while fear is a common response for many, one Egyptian wanted to laugh in the face of adversity. And he decided his own wedding was the best forum in which to do so.
In an attempt to surprise his bride and their guests, Ahmed Shehata, a 25-year-old medical graduate, arranged for relatives to dress up as Isis militants and pretend to kidnap his new wife at their wedding this week. To the soundtrack of the notorious Isis anthem, masked men entered the wedding of Shaimaa Deif, a 23-year-old medical graduate, and strong-armed her and Shehata into a cage reminiscent of the one in which a Jordanian pilot was burned alive last month. Hey, to each their own. One of the biggest obstacles in marriage, or some I am told, is keeping it fresh. Being adventurous. Not letting the union get dull and monotonous. No one wants to watch the same old boring wedding rituals. A wedding day is a day for the bride. As long as she gets what she wants, the wedding is a success. If being kidnapped by ISIS makes her panties damp who am I to judge? Her soon to be husband would know better than anyone else. I would imagine having great sex is crucial to starting off a marriage on the right foot. A little role playing on night one never killed anyone. Sure, most people stick to a little nurse on patient action. Maybe a little cowboy and indian if you're racially insensitive. Bet this is the first wedding themed around mocking a terrorist organization. I'm not saying it's something I would do, but what do I know. I barely understand half the fetishes that exist in today's society. Just add this one to the list. If there is a time to be offensive it is during your wedding. Everyone is going to compliment you and say how great it was regardless. You could have the worst piece of shit wedding in the world and everyone in attendance would swear it was the best time they have ever had. That's just a social contract. You accept a wedding invite and you agree to put a smile on your face for 4-5 hours, for better or worse. I don't care if ISIS really big barge through the door and hijack the wedding. You sit there, sip your drink, enjoy the festivities, and pray you don't get killed. If we are being honest, there are times during a traditional wedding that I wish ISIS would come and kidnap me. Two people getting married that are destined for divorce. A long drawn out church ceremony. A best man trying way too hard to be funny. A maid of honor inevitably butchering her speech. There are certain moments when I would give anything to be anywhere else, that includes tied to a chair in the middle east with a knife to my throat. P.S. When the music drops at around the 1:30 mark that looks like the most fun, I have ever had, in my entire life. I don't care if you are black, white, yellow, purple, an ISIS supporter, an ISIS surviver, if you don't want to throw back a few beers and jump directly into that cage then I don't trust you as a human being.
And then there were two. Count them. Two out of the 53 active players that donned the black and gold uniform just five years ago to go down in infamy as part of the franchise's first SuperBowl championship. Drew Brees and Marques Colston. That's it, that's all.
I have been on record saying that the running back position is an overrated position in football. Hell, as a undrafted running back out of the University of Illinois, Pierre Thomas' entire career is a testament to the fact that good running backs come from the damnest places. Just earlier this week I said that I agreed with the Eagles trading Shady McCoy for a linebacker with All-Pro potential. It's just too easy to find a serviceable replacement these days to justify paying a tailback upwards of 11 million a year. So with that said, from a talent standpoint, I can't make too much out of the Saints releasing a situational running back who has gotten up there in age. As I reference Pierre Thomas as situational running back I do him a distinct disservice. Perhaps the term I am looking for is 'a jack of all trades'. It's not that Thomas was great in one situation only, it was that he was very good in all situations. I make a big deal about losing Pierre Thomas not because he was an All-Pro running back. In most cases he wasn't even a starting running back. However, his contributions to the game on a weekly basis were undeniable. It's been said that football is a game of inches. No one exemplified that more than PT. He's the running back that turned a 1 yard gain into a 5 yard gain without you thinking twice. A player that never missed an assignment in terms of pass blocking. A player that rarely fumbled or let a ball his hands that he didn't catch. Pierre Thomas may be one of the best screen running tailbacks to ever grace the gridiron. That's a testament to his patience, vision, and ability to break tackles. As I wax poetic about his abilities on the field, I overshadow his true value to the Saints. Pierre Thomas was the very definition of selfless. In an egocentric NFL, it's hard to find a player that will put aside personal stats for the good of team. It's hard to find a player that will say all the right things and do all the right things. Without question he has sacrificed his career starts to remain in a rotating trinity of running backs that the Saints employ on a yearly basis. Sometimes he was the most talented back, often times he was not, yet you never heard a peep from him. He was the consummate leader. The consummate teammate. 2009. The season that the Who Dat Nation will never forget. The playoff run that was marked by many memorable moments. To say that Thomas had hand in a few of them would be disingenuous. Without Pierre Thomas the Saints aren't playing in the SuperBowl. Whether it be his 40+ yard catch and run touchdown, his 9 yard rushing touchdown, his lengthy kick return in overtime, or his converted 4th and 1 where he went up over the top of the defense to put the Saints in game winning field goal range. Pierre Thomas was one of the few reasons that pigs flew, hell froze over, and the Saints made it their first Superbowl. Of course no one will forget his touchdown that came after "ambush", the infamous onside kick to start the second half the SuperBowl. I hope Sean Payton knows what he is doing. You can't run an NFL franchise based on sentimental value. However, last year's roster purge of veteran players, and the subsequent loss of leadership, coincidentally resulted in the loss of more games than any Saints fan would have imagined. While Thomas' production on the field is replaceable, it remains to be seen if his team first attitude is as well. I think I speak for all Saints fans when I wish the PT Cruiser luck during the next stage of career. He'll always be a member of Who Dat Nation, and he'll always be a part of history. Classy as always, even in his departure....
Never forget....
Huffington Post- After crashing his vehicle during pre-season testing, Formula One driver Fernando Alonso is said to have woken up having no memory of the past 20 years of his life.Quoting a report in the Spanish daily El Pais, The Telegraph writes that Alonso awoke from the crash believing that it was the year 1995.
"I'm Fernando, I drive go-karts and I want to be a Formula One driver,” the 33-year-old two-time Formula One champion is quoted as telling doctors. Damn, 13 going on 30. Jessica Garner would be proud. What are two things that everyone always desires? Everyone always wishes they were younger and hopes that they find a job that they love. Imagine waking up tomorrow and being 13 years old and having already accomplished your dream job? If all I had to do to to experience that was survive a near fatal car crash I think I would make that trade. It's like '50 First Dates', but instead of waking up to find out your mother's dead, you find out you already have everything you have ever wanted. Sure, he's not actually an younger, but age is but a number, right? You think you're 13, you act like you are 13, and you are basically 13. I think that makes every girl that has ever slept with me a pedophile. What wouldn't you give to wake up and have someone ask you what you do, and your immediate response is "well, I ride go-karts". That's pretty frowned upon for a 30-something, but for a 13 year old it sounds like a utopia. I think the play here is selective amnesia. Take a couple weeks off to ride go-karts before you have to go back to F1 racing to pay the bills. I'm pretty sure he can pull it off too. I think surviving a life threatening situation earn you at least a couple months of goodwill. A little grace period to go off the rails and live however you choose. Who can question you on that? You can use the phrase "I almost died" quite a bit before people start calling bullshit on your untraditional lifestyle. Most people have an excuse, granted a damn good one, for not just waking up and doing whatever the fuck they want. Fernando Alonso, however, was granted a free pass, and all he had to do was crash into a wall at 200 MPH. I want to feel bad for DeAndre Jordan here, I really do. We have all had moments, whether they be at our jobs or during our day to day lives, where you just go completely comatose. Completely forget where you are, what you are doing, or why you are doing it. Now granted, a vast majority of us don't do it while we are getting paid millions of dollars to play a professional sport, but we do it nonetheless. So if that was Jordan's only gaff in a game the Clippers should have won running away, I would be far more inclined to give him a pass. Unfortunately, DeAndre did a fantastic job of getting the TrailBlazers back in the game in the first place, after the Clippers held a double digit lead with just minutes to play. Here is the thing. If you are going to go 0-6 from the goddamn free throw line, while the other team is intentional hacking you to get back in the game then all other facets of your game have to be dialed in. You can either shoot free throws like a blind person with no motor skills or you can forget to put home a game winning dunk with under a second to play. You can't do both. I know basketball is a team sport, and I am criticizing a mere handful of plays, but if players had their own personal records for their role in the outcome of a game, Chris Paul would be walking away 1-0 as Jordan would be 0-1. Got to feel for Chris Paul here. Has to look like a kid who didn't get what he wants in the grocery store because DeAndre Jordan can't tell the difference between a shot clock and a game clock. When time is of the essence and there is a situation that you have no control over you tend to lose your mind. I am completely sympathetic to this situation, and anyone that has watched me play hockey knows why. Sometimes you just have to completely embarrass your teammates to make sure they don't make the same mistake again. Bet you next time DeAndre won't stand there looking like a 7 foot dope holding the game in his hands while being 2 inches away from victory. The funniest part about this is that while DeAndre Jordan stood statuesque with ball raised in one hand like he was lady liberty, he was holding the ball just out of Paul's reach. Got to imagine that if he brings that rebound down it is getting taken faster than Sasha Grey's anal virginity. What a time to go braindead. NBA players shoot after literally EVERY single whistle, and the one time they don't it's when it could actually make the difference in the game. Some are willing to give DJ a flyer on this one because Chris Paul was the only person on the floor that knew there was a game going on. Four other Clippers and the entirety of the Portland lineup were standing there with their hands on their dicks like they were at home watching the game on the couch. Hell, I was standing 100 feet away from the play and I didn't even know what was going on. However my job at basketball game is to drink beer and obnoxiously stand up and walk away after alley-oops, not pay attention to the intricacies of the game. How many wrongs does it take to make a right? Just because you are surrounded by idiots doesn't mean you can go without criticism when you act like an idiot yourself. Just because all your friends drove home drunk too, it doesn't mean it's not your fault when you're the one that crashes into a telephone pole. Maybe they should work on this in practice. Every time Chris Paul screams, DeAndre Jordan has to dunk a basketball. Turn it into a Pavlov's dog situation. Ironic given the fact that this closely resembles an owner scolding a dog after he shits on the floor, while the dog just sits there mindlessly staring into space. P.S. Besides setting up what should have been a game winning play call, what were they talking about during the timeout? There were 2.5 seconds left, you would think the fact that two buzzers were set to go off during that time frame would be a topic of conversation. C'mon Doc, we are taking away that PhD until further notice. Your one job is make sure your players know the situation before they go out to execute it. P.P.S. In case your lip reading skills aren't up to par, that's a pretty blatant "shoot the motherfuckin' ball".
Yahoo Sports- "On behalf of our clients Dion Phaneuf, his wife Elisha Cuthbert and Joffrey Lupul, we have sent a letter to TSN demanding that TSN issue a formal apology and pay a significant amount of damages to each of our clients for broadcasting a false and defamatory tweet during their trade deadline show yesterday. We are sending a similar letter to the author of the tweet, Mr. Anthony Adragna. It is bad enough that there are people who spend their time using social media to publish such false and malicious stories, but it is made much worse when a reputable media outlet like TSN gives broad circulation and credibility to these false stories by republishing them as TSN did. If TSN and Mr. Adragna do not immediately comply with the demands set out in our letters, we have instructions from our clients to immediately commence a lawsuit against them. Our clients will not be discussing this matter with the media.” This is it. We knew it was coming. The death of free speech. The death of social media. Who would have thought it would have come at the hands of a couple of uptight hockey players. If you can start suing people that say derogatory things online than the internet just became a far less entertaining place to be. Can someone let me know if this is actually a thing so I can cancel my Verizon appointment for tomorrow? I don't need to find out that I am going to need a lawyer for every tweet I have ever sent, or blog I have ever posted. Seriously though, 95% percent of the things said on twitter are offensive to either a person or a group of people. If everyone starts tossing around internet law suits like they are chicken teriyaki samples lawyers are going to have to start working 24 hour shifts. Do I think that TSN should be held responsible for airing a slanderous tweet and subsequently making life harder for the Phaneuf family? Absolutely. No one wants the public perception to be that a teammate is fucking their wife behind closed doors, whether it is true or not. No doubt that someone needs to be fired. Is that somehow the fault of the person responsible for the tweet? Hell no. The Leafs play in the biggest hockey market in the world, and despite a plethora of talent, they are fucking terrible. There are probably 100,000 tweets a day that get published that belittle the Leafs players, families, and front office. Just because TSN's social media consultant fell asleep at the wheel for a few minutes doesn't mean you can pick out the one internet troll that accidentally worked his way onto an international broadcast. If you could profit off morons disparaging you on the internet than Barack Obama would quadruple his salary on a daily basis. And why the fuck is Joffrey Lupol involved in this lawsuit? If anything, unsubstantiated rumors of him giving it to 'The Girl Next Door' are a compliment. Maybe they aren't the best thing for locker room chemistry, but it's certainly nothing I would be pressing charges for. There are definitive victims in this case. They are Phaneuf and his wife. Joffrey Lupol, his multimillion dollar contract, and his league wide reputation as a cocksman do not get to play the victim. If someone published a tweet saying that I had taken down one of the baddest broads in Hollywood it might be worth a retweet, but it's certainly not a million dollar lawsuit. I don't care who she is married to. As a teammate he should stand behind Dion and continue to refute the alleged fabrication, but he certainly shouldn't benefit monetarily. If I were Lupol I would hold a press conference to say that "while I am not spearing my teammates wife, I do appreciate the notion that I am conquering Grade A caliber women". I think this is one of those situations where your best bet is to laugh it off as a stupid joke and move on. The bigger deal that you make it, the more credence it receives as a legitimate possibility. At least it would explain why Leafs organization is deteriorating faster than Joe Paterno after a pedophilia scandal. Twitter is like the internet equivalent of 'The Purge'. It's a kill or be killed world out there. Dog's eating dogs. People verbally assaulting other people. There's no such thing as crime. No such thing as slander. If you get murdered on the internet there is no life sentence to be served. There's no justice. There is no peace. It's anarchy. On the other hand, If you take something someone says seriously on twitter than it's your own damn fault. That's why we are supposed to have reputable news sources like TSN to weed out the dredges of the deep dark internet. The day that Twitter becomes regulated is the day that we officially live in a police state. America is about free speech and laughing at the expense of others. The day we overturn the First Amendment is the day that we raise a red flag and paint a hammer and sickle on it. The 1980 US hockey team overcame communism to take home a gold medal, and Joffrey Lupol can't even overcome 140 characters of satire. Really shows how much we have regressed as a society. You want to turn a tweet that has the potential to negatively affect a family into a lawsuit then by all means do so, but let's make something clear. The victim is Dion Phaneuf, and his puck slut of a wife, and the defendant is TSN. Lets leave Lupol, his paper thin skin, and an aspiring twitter comedian out of this. P.S. While we look into the rumors of some teammate on teammate crime we might not want to overlook that thigh grab. The Toronto locker room might be much more of a soap opera than we originally thought....
CBS News- Likely Republican presidential candidate Ben Carson believes that being gay is a choice, because prison has turned "a lot" of ostensibly straight people into gay people.
In an interview that aired Wednesday on CNN, Carson was asked whether being gay is a choice, and he replied, "Absolutely." "Because a lot of people who go into prison go into prison straight, and when they come out, they're gay," he explained. "So, did something happen while they were in there? Ask yourself that question." Let's play a little game of "get in the mind of an ignorant radical republican bigot". I got to say, as someone that normally steers clear of any sort of political controversy, this has become one of my favorite games. Might grab a 6 pack and stay in this Saturday and practice my strategy. Anyway, a black republican? Where have I heard of this before? Oh shit! Life imitating art, Jay-Z and Nas said this would happen! So here's my question, what could possibly make Carson think that being gay is a choice. Might this have something to do with it? Well well well, would you look at that? Ben Carson used to be a rabid democrat. I wonder what changed his mind? Could it have been 4+ years at Yale, associating with predominantly white right wing activists? Could it be that Ben Carson changed his political beliefs not because he had some intellectual awakening , but because it was extremely convenient for him at the time? Well doesn't that sound familiar. Does anyone really think that prison turns people gay? More often than not people that go into prison straight come out straight. Just because they undoubtedly had some very gay experiences doesn't make them homosexual. Is Ellen Degeneres still straight because she took a few dicks in her in adolescence? Being open sexually during a prison term is convenient for the sexual needs of inmates just like being being a republican at Yale is convenient for having a social life. "So, did something happen while they were in there? Ask yourself that question." Why yes, something did indeed happen when they were in there. It's a little thing called rape, ever heard of it? Pretty sure rape of any kind doesn't determine your sexual orientation. I think most victims of the despicable crime would agree. Listen if people come out of prison gay it's because they no longer know how to associate with females. It's not because they would rather ravage a man from behind. Technically speaking, being gay is a choice. Homosexuals do make a conscious decision to out themselves as such. Its a conscious decision that is based off the unconscious attraction they feel to the same sex. Being gay is a choice in the same way that a child choosing to play with trucks or barbies is a choice. It's not a choice in the way that choosing an outfit to where is a choice. There is a very right and a very wrong answer depending on the individual. If being gay was a legitimate choice, that wasn't a matter of preference, do you think that gay males would choose to penetrate an asshole all the time? All things being equal, the vagina just seems like a much safer, and more comfortable place for a penis. I actually like when these stories come out. They make me happy. Not because I agree with Ben Carson. Not because he makes even a modicum of sense. But because, if someone this dumb can be a presidential candidate I have a legitimate opportunity to be the leader of the free world. Is this there a list somewhere? I want to sign up. I'll be preaching for the day after the Super Bowl to be holiday and for four day work weeks while Ben Carson is up there alienating the vast majority of a increasingly liberal society. I can guarantee right this second that I have a better political platform than Ben Carson, and I am as versed in politics as James Winston is in the English language. It might be a small win, but I am more fit to run this nation than the guy that compared homosexual relations to pulling a Sandusky or taking Lassie from behind. P.S. Someone give Ben a polygraph and ask him if he has ever watched lesbian porn. If he says 'no' then he certainly isn't fit to be president, and if he says 'yes' than his entire campaign is shattered. Grow up Ben. Gay is the new black. Society is cool with it now. Your forefathers would be ashamed. P.P.S. If this guy in charge of anything more than putting his shoes on the right feet than I am moving to Canada. I mean, really? Huffington Post- Current New York Giants punter Steve Weatherford and former Seattle Seahawks wide receiver Sidney Rice announced Tuesday that they have decided to donate their brains to science in an effort to better understand the long-term cognitive effects of football.The two NFL champions made the announcement at a press conference in celebration of Brain Injury Awareness Month. “I know it may surprise some people that I’m donating my brain,” Weatherford wrote in a statement provided to The Huffington Post. “But it’s going to a great cause, and hopefully it’ll help everyone realize that they need to be healthy and take care of their brains like they need to take care of their bodies.” I respect the hell out of people that give up their right to their brain, or their liver, or heart in the afterlife. With that said, I am far too much of a simpleton to sign off on it. Yeah, I know there isn’t a single organ that will be useful to me after I pass, but they are still MY organs. I treat the rights to my body after I am gone like the shirt that still hangs in my closet and hasn’t been worn in 10 years. The one that just gathers dust, but you refuse to give it to GoodWill because it’s YOUR crappy shirt. Well, my brain is MY crappy brain. My brain after I leave this earth is like the frozen pack of chicken that sits in the back of the freezer for years. Despite my lack of use for it, I don’t feel right giving it to people that need it far more than I do. Maybe I am some kind of post mortem hoarder. Maybe I just don’t want scientists to realize that my brain is completely useless for anything other than sports knowledge and immature jokes. Can’t imagine my parents would be proud to find out the area of my brain for dick jokes was twice the size of the average human being. Anyway, it’s definitely commendable for Rice and Weatherford to give up the rights to their brains. Science needs to get their hands on Sydney Rice’s brain ASAP. Although, I suppose for the time being they could throw a few strands of DNA in a bowl of applesauce and get the same results. I mean, the guy has gotten his bell rung more than the Vatican. It probably resembles the puff of white smoke that appears when a new Pope is chosen. The thing is fried beyond recognition. Taking a closer look at Rice’s brain could teach us a lot about concussion protocol. In fact, once he kicks the bucket I am instantly buying stock in Vortex and NERF. One look at that mangled cerebral cortex and Goodell will have them playing flag football in a padded room. Rice’s brain contains more law suits than an entire afternoon of daytime television. Wouldn’t be surprised if Sydney’s body goes missing hours after it’s expiration. The NFL let’s anyone with two functional eyes and a C or better in biology within spitting distance of that thing and they compromise their entire net worth. As good of an idea as it is for Sydney Rice to donate his brain to science, it is equally as pointless for Steve Weatherford to do so. It is widely known that Weatherford works out about 80% of the time he is awake. I’m pretty sure his brain is the only muscle that doesn’t get stimulated upwards of 1,000 times a day. All the guy does is kick footballs and lift heavy things. Can’t imagine his brain has much to offer. You could take his brain this very second and he would function just fine in his day to day life. Wouldn’t be surprised if he just wants the eternal satisfaction in knowing that scientists couldn’t even penetrate his muscle bound membrane. Sorry Steve, when science said they needed the organs of ex-football players, they weren’t talking about kickers, no matter how physically imposing they may be. This is probably just a desperate attempt to get his name spiraling throughout the inter webs. Some people sell their soul to the devil to attain the unattainable, while Steve Weatherford sells his brain to science to garner some notoriety. I actually respect the attempt. Positive publicity as a punter essentially is the unattainable. Nice try Steve, but what else is for sale? You know, besides your pride, dignity, and HGH prescription? P.S. Don't tell him I said that....
Swagger on .500, thousand, trillion. Nice to meet you completely average record, it's been far too long old friend. If we are going by the transitive property, I believe tonight's win makes the Devils the most 'now' team in hockey. Who's more now? I mean, by the end of that game the Devils didn't even have to have the puck cross the line before they were awarded a goal. I know Peter Laviollete disagreed as his tears flooded the Visitor's bench, but why delay the inevitable? The Devils don't blow leads anymore. What do you think this is? Three months ago? The Prudential Center. Newark, NJ. The hardest place to play in professional sports. Suck it Seattle. 12th man? Pretty sure the Devils only had 12 fans fight the weather and show up and they still willed the boys to victory over the best team in hockey. Strength in numbers doesn't matter if your numbers have strength.
If I had known that the Devils firing Peter Debeor would have resulted in them retroactively receiving a 4th overall draft pick I would have packed his bags myself. I used to be excited when I saw Adam Larsson step on the ice for warmups, never mind actually play any meaningful hockey. Now I am surprised if he goes an entire game without being responsible for a handful of scoring chances. His snipe that put the Devils up 1-0 early was sexier than half the women I have slept with. There have been mixed results with former players taking on coaching jobs, but maybe there is something to Scott Stevens using his Hall Of Fame credentials to coach up the defense. Besides dick size, I'm not exactly sure what the difference of opinion was between him and Debeor, but it's safe to say Scotty and his third arm have erected the young defense in a way Pete never could. It's not outlandish to say that at the ripe age of 22, Larsson has matured into the best two way defenseman on the team. A team that, with significant help from Cory Schneider, has become one of better defensive teams in hockey. Hell, they have been harder to penetrate than a lesbian feminist on the rag. Let's get this out of the way. I do not like Marty Havlat or Michael Ryder. With that said, I have to feel bad for them. It's just my duty as a good natured human being. Lou Lamoriello's decision to sit them both in favor of playing Peter Harold at forward is the most humiliating thing that can happen to someone. Granted, it was probably the right decision, but embarrassing nonetheless. Think about this...The Devils took their worst defenseman, and decided to play him out of position instead of playing two players who have had successful NHL tenures to this point. That's the equivalent of slapping them the face, spitting on their shoe, and then kicking them in the dick when they look down. Open the suicide hotline. Their is only so much humiliation a man can take. Hopefully Lou has Havlat locked up in a padded room somewhere. Chances are he will still come out injured. I don't even think Ryder got sat. He is still finishing up the last drill they did at morning skate. At this point, I'm not even sure what it would take for Havlat or Ryder to get considerable playing time. I do know that if the entire team breaks out in mumps again they are suspects one and two. I can't believe there is anyone out there that thinks the Devils unloading two foreign senior citizens off their roster is any sort of fire sale. With all due respect to Jagr and Zidlicky, both are addition by subtraction. Jagr was unhappy, and I'm pretty sure Zidlicky had gone senile. That's the only explanation for some of his turnovers recently. The guy was more unpredictable than a woman going through menopause as of late. Probably just as fertile too. Either way the Devils are winning, and winning at a rate that no one other than Lou Lamoriello could have even imagined. If the stars align and they make the playoffs it would be nothing short of a miracle, but recent success has given hope for a much brighter future. Three relatively high draft picks can only speed up the 'transition' as the Godfather of NHL executives likes to call it. ` This is why Lou doesn't rebuild. I don't know where the Devils go from here into next season in regards to the coaching or the roster. However, it's safe to assume the arrow is pointed up. With one of the best goaltenders in the sport and an embarrassment of riches on the back end, the Devils are a couple difference makers on offense away from being a playoff team. If the NHL has proven anything over it's existence, it's that all it takes is a playoff spot to be a Stanley Cup contender. Despite a continuing lack of high end talent, the Devils have turned around a season that was exempt on any positives whatsoever. Time to close our eyes, and ride that Ginger wave into the postseason. At the very least, the Devils have bought some excitement back to New Jersey.
SBNation- This is heartbreaking, or it would be heartbreaking if Jordan Leopold wasn't traded to the Wild at the NHL deadline. His family got their wish, and now their dad is home. It was awesome to see that two teams could make this work and the ramifications are far greater than hockey.
Eleven years old and already a master of manipulation. Talk about a young girl making her gender proud. For my money, there’s no better bet for success than young Jordyn. Whether that being the field of medicine, law, motherhood, or gold digging housewife, she already knows the power she possesses. This isn’t some 6 year old girl who can barely formulate English words pining for her Dad to come home. Kids know far more these days than their preceding generation did at the same age. She's been plugging away at keywords since she was in pampers. She knows it’s a business. This was a strong arm. It wasn’t delivered to the Minnesota Wild front office. It was circulated online. No better way to get your way than to tug on the heart strings of the masses. You want to make waves among a business as bottom line oriented as professional sports than you better go viral and influence public perception. Fantastic move by young Jordyn. Put a professional organization between a rock and a hard place. Either they trade for Leopold and make it look like their business is being influenced by a preteen, or ignore the request all together and look like the bad guy. You can convince me that Jordyn is nice young gal, but you can't convince me that she is a naive young gal. This is the most calculated move I have seen from a non-asian in all my existence. I got to wonder how Jordyn’s father, and namesake, feels about the trade. On one hand, he is close to home and got traded to a team that has a legitimate shot at making the playoffs. That’s a far cry from the slowly sinking ship he was aboard in Columbus. On the other hand, an NHL team let an 11 year old influence his future in the league. That doesn’t necessarily speak highly of his talents. I guess the pros outweigh the cons, but as a professional I would think that you would want a team to have a little more anxiety about separating with you. I know this doesn’t fit the narrative that the media is trying to portray, but there is no way that the letter was the main reason Jordan Leopold got traded back to his hometown. Hell, I feel like Leopold gets traded three times a season, it was only a matter of time before he made his way around the league and back to Minnesota. This was a trade that made sense for both teams. It’s just a hell of a coincidence that it happened to satisfy the pleas of a young, outspoken girl. Be that as it may, got to love the public relations spin the Blue Jackets General Manager tried to pull upon trading Leopold.
All wells that ends well, I suppose. If the media is going to glorify a story, it might as well be in a positive way for once...
P.S. Not that they were intentional, but you got to believe that the misspellings worked in her favor. Smiley faces and bad grammar only become stigmatized after puberty. Until then they seem cute, sincere and non-threatening. |
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