We Just Not Going To Talk About How The United States Basically Stole Soccer From The World?6/11/2015
Hey FIFA, you thought that whole corruption ploy was just an act of jealousy, huh? That it was just yet another strong arm attempt by the United States? Another way for us to flex our muscles as a national power? A reason to ruin your party because we weren't the guests of honor? Well, you're probably exactly right, but don't say it didn't do some lasting damage.
The women have always been one of the top teams in the world and now the men topple traditional European powers in the Netherlands and Germany? The timing is too perfect to be a coincidence. Time to take the one thing we have never been the best at. Sorry FIFA, but it was just a matter of time. Soccer is ours baby. We are winning games before we even step on the pitch. If soccer is 60% mental than the rest of the world already 60% lost. All these countries are trying to cover up their paper trails while we are in their heads tap dancing on their brain. Up in that ass spray painting the walls red, white, and blue and shit. Under their skin like puppet masters. Using our iron fist to sodomize their pride. Making German people show actual human emotions for the first time since Hitler was in office. If that's not a sign of a broken spirit than I don't know what is. The world has tried so hard to keep us out and we broke down the door the best way we know how. By uncovering a bunch of white, greedy motherfuckers with their hands in the cookie jar. What did you think we weren't going to find out? If there is a country that can spot some good old fashioned white collar crime it's the US of A. We invented the scandal. Pyramid schemes, embezzlement, money laundering, racketeering. Those are straight out of our playbook. Hell, Ponzi schemes got their name from an American. That's our offense. You can't just run our sets and think it's okay because you're on the other side of the world. You didn't think we were going to come for retribution? That's the only thing we do better than crime! Don't worry, you can keep the money, but we're taking your sport.
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CSN- For the second time this week, the Tampa Bay Lightning head coach went to Chicago Cut Steakhouse with a party of 20 and again got a free meal for his entire group.
Charles Barkley picked up the check the first time and movie star Vince Vaughn - a noted Blackhawks fan - had the honor Tuesday night. Cooper and Vaughn are apparently old friends and the actor stopped to hug Cooper and chat with the Lightning coach for about 10 minutes upon arriving at Chicago Cut. After Barkley's kindness a couple days earlier, Cooper wanted to repay the favor for Vaughn, but the celeb wouldn't let that fly, according to Chicago Cut managing partner David Flom, who recapped the ordeal to the Chicago Tribune: “Cooper called me over to his table and said ‘Hey, I want to pick up Vince Vaughn’s check,’” Flom said. “He was doing it to be kind because of the Barkley thing. I tell the server and then walk by Vince’s table. Sure enough, Vince looks at me and says ‘I know that guy just called you over to pick up my check. That’s not how we roll in Chicago.’ He goes ‘This is Chicago, my town. This is how we treat people. I got his check.’ How can you argue with Vince Vaughn? I said, ‘OK, no problem.’ I go walk away and he stands up and says ‘I got his check. This is Chicago.’ “So we go over to Cooper and he goes ‘Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me. Twice with 20 people and I haven’t paid once.’” Don't get me wrong, I am all about respect. Yeah, it's pretty cool that Vince Vaughn picked the tab for Jon Cooper and the rest of his party, However, if you are going to do so, do it out of the kindness or your heart, not because you have some ulterior motive. Is it even respect if it's a move that's meant to shed light on the disrespect being shown by the Tampa Bay Lightning? Don't tell me that "this is how we treat people" wasn't a direct shot at the Lightning's ticket policy and dress code for visiting fans. Don't tell me "this is Chicago, my town" isn't an insult to the city and franchise that employs Jon Cooper. Vince Vaughn basically paid a couple thousand dollars to take a cheap shot at the Tampa Bay Lightning. In essence he spoon fed them a bunch of $100 steaks and then kicked them directly in the dick. It's the equivalent of paying for someone's funeral and then spitting in the open casket. Everyone has that friend. The friend that doesn't pick up a round of drinks just to be a good friend. He picks up a round to establish power over the group. To show that he can. The friend that isn't paying for things to make sure everyone has a good time, he is paying for things to make sure everyone knows he is responsible for the good time. Now, regardless of intent you are still going to accept free things because spending your money isn't going to make him a better person, but there is a difference between being considerate and authoritative. I don't think that Vince Vaughn picked up the tab to show that he has a lot of money, but he damn sure did it to establish dominance over the city that Jon Cooper calls home. I think he made that pretty clear when he stood up and announced it to the restaurant. Oh well, jokes on him, I bet that was a killer slab of beef. P.S. Poor Tampa Bay. Such a likable team and head coach, and it's all being tainted by a crappy city and a front office's stupid policy that does nothing but hurt the NHL. The Player's Tribune
Scott Gomez: So I’m in the showers, shampooing or whatever, when all of a sudden I hear this deep, booming voice. “No. Fucking. Way.” Finally, I peak my head out the shower and see Dano standing in front of a mirror, making his pecs bounce like Hulk Hogan. And I say, “Hey King, is everything okay?” He turns to me. He doesn’t laugh or smile. “No, it’s not okay,” he says. “There’s no fucking way a 36-year-old man should be looking this good!” Ken Daneyko: I was getting up there in age at the time, but I was still pretty strong. So I was flexing in the mirror, grunting. Maybe I was screaming. Kind of like a WWF wrestler would, you know? “Oh my god! You gotta be kidding me. There’s no way!” I remember (Gomez) poking his head out around the corner all sheepishly. “Hey King, is everything okay?” And I was still all pumped up from lifting. So I said something like, “No! Hell no! There’s no way a 36-year-old should be this jacked!” I have to admit, when I first started reading this I thought Gomez was giving an exaggerated version of the tale. Giving the story a little more juice if you will. I thought Daneyko's account would maybe bring it back down to earth a little bit. In retrospect, I am an idiot. Why would I ever question the lunacy of Ken Daneyko? Of course he was going all meathead in the mirror after a gym session. I bet in the next chapter he follows up his wrestling promo by shotgunning a beer and smashing the can on his skull. That's just the type of thing a person that is completely void of any offensive talent has to do to get the nickname "King". Think about that. Ken Daneyko, as probably the least purely talented player on the roster was the 'King' of the locker room. You could probably start an entire website dedicated to the unspeakable things that Dano did over the course of his career to earn that title. Got to respect Kenny going all in once he got caught too. Getting busted eyeing yourself up is one of the most embarrassing things that can happen to a person. Never mind talking to yourself while you do it. Might as well turn it from an awkward confrontation to an all time story by dropping a punchline that lacks any humility whatsoever. Might as well get a laugh out of a situation that has one completely naked dude questioning another half naked dude's sanity. More so than having a high level of dedication to the sport you've got to be tough as nails and be a little bit of a loose cannon to last 20 years as a physical presence in the NHL. Ken Daneyko may have a loose screw or two, but maybe that's what you need to last two decades in the game and retire a champion. Here's the problem with this. It is always better to argue with your head instead of your heart. trust me, I know from experience. I love this woman's passion. I love her dedication to her team. Hell, she's probably the most devout fan in the entire state of Arizona. However, at the end of the day, what did she really say? The mayor doesn't pay for tickets? He doesn't fully support the team? Yawwwn. Want to tell us something that we don't know? I'm not sure if this lady realizes that while it would be nice if the mayor was fully invested in the Arizona Coyotes, it's certainly not a job requirement. In reality, there are probably 1,000 reasons to criticize this guy. Having the Super Bowl festivities moved to Scottsdale was a good start. A little research would have went a long way in this scenario. Many of his actions have probably put the team and the location of the franchise at risk. Dumbing it down to saying he isn't supportive enough doesn't really lend enough credence to his transgressions. It doesn't matter how loud you are if you aren't really saying anything. While I am sure that this lady was speaking the mind of a majority of her fan base it's bound to fall on deaf ears. Especially when her point of emphasis was that politicians get certain financial benefits strictly because of their position. I'm pretty sure that is widely acknowledged as one of the only pros of being mayor.
Minus one point for censoring herself and saying 'butt' instead of 'ass'. No good rant can possibly be completed without at least a cuss or two in it. Plus, the whole thing really loses it's luster when there is no mic to drop. Plus one point to the mayor for not responding. Everyone knows you never win an argument with an irrational and aggravated female. Source- Steven Ewald tried to pull off his best version of “The Graduate” when he went to a wedding on Saturday to get his girlfriend. Ewald allegedly forced her into his car afterwards, according to the Sun Sentinel.
According to the arrest report, Ewald’s girlfriend was exiting a limo that had pulled up at the venue when he came over and said that the two needed to talk. A witness said that he grabbed her arm, but she shook him off. As the wedding party lined up to enter the venue, they found that she wasn’t with them and saw Ewald bringing them to his car, according to police. At that point, they called the police when they realized what he was doing. According to the Sun Sentinel, Ewald is charged with kidnapping and battery. He is being held at the Palm Beach County Jail on $4,000 bail. Everyone imagines that perfect rom-com moment. That moment where the ex-boyfriend bursts through the church doors and sweeps the soon to be bride off her feet. The moment where she willingly shits on the guy standing across from her at the alter. The moment where she metaphorically spits in the face of every person that traveled from far and wide to be present for her wedding. The moment that is super awful for most parties involved, but becomes super romantic when you add in some beautiful background music and a mushy plot. Here's the thing about that moment, it's not realistic. Not because a woman has never changed her mind about the person she is marrying. Because there is too much pressure from her friends and family to be able to accept her ex-boyfriend back in the middle of her wedding ceremony. You know how you avoid a case of your ex-girlfriend adhering to social norms and marrying her fiance? Well, you kidnap her obviously. Honestly, it's pretty genius. Get her to neutral ground. Give her some time to really give it some thought without the burden of hundreds of people staring at her in anticipation. Of course, it's always possible that 'no' really meant 'no', and you end up in prison facing kidnapping and battery charges. However, it's also possible that you two crazy kids realize you made a mistake and end up together forever. You can say what you want about Steven and his tactics, but don't say he won't do anything for love. Sporting News- Baylor basketball forward Rico Gathers was arrested Tuesday for allegedly stealing a cart full of household items from a Walmart.
Police said Gathers was spotted by a store employee loading two pillows, a tote bag, a water dispenser and trash can into his shopping cart before leaving the retailer in Waco, Texas, on June 1, according to the Waco Tribune-Herald. The items were valued at $171. The employee recognized Gathers, who police said has been suspected of stealing items during previous visits to the store, and provided investigators with surveillance footage from the incident two days later. Gathers turned himself in Tuesday and was charged with theft under $500. He was released Wednesday after posting $1,000 bail. Have we reached the point where we get to start considering the NCAA an accomplice for all these crimes? Stealing crab legs from Publix is one thing. Stealing pillows and a tote bag is undoubtedly another. I wouldn't exactly consider a trash can a luxury. Come on NCAA. I know a majority of these athletes are getting their entire education covered financially, but they are kinda responsible for making your organization a multi-billion dollar industry. Would it kill you to buy them a couple of household necessities? Rico Gathers is a college kid. If he gets caught stealing you expect the basket to be full of video games, condoms, and booze. When it's something as menial as a place to put garbage then that's egg on your face. Pretty strong indictment of how tight funds for a D1 college athlete. As much as the NCAA is at fault for student athletes living like homeless people, I can't completely absolve Rico Gathers of all the blame here. I know it's probably different for someone that weighs in at 6'8, 271 pounds, but you got to be a better thief than this. I know it's hard to stay under the radar when you are taller than most of the display cases in the store, but is a little subtlety too much to ask for? If there is anyone as dumb and clueless as a Walmart shopper it's a Walmart employee. Maybe bring a friend and have him act as a distraction. Maybe don't make bi-weekly visits to the same store and never visit the checkout counter. You don't exactly have a very forgettable face or body type. You go back to the well too many times it might run dry. Either that or they'll just catch you trying to steal a water dispenser. Same difference. P.S. 'Gathers' as a last name for someone that gets caught stealing is poetic justice. The Lakers Want Everyone To Think That Jahlil Okafor Can Be One Of The Greatest Lakers Of All Time6/10/2015 BSO- We spoke with a high ranking source in the Lakers organization who tells us the team put Jahlil through an up close and personal workout this morning — just like they did with Kobe back in ’96 — and the 19-year-old was nothing short of spectacular.
“Just off what we saw out of today’s workouts, Jahlil has the potential to not just be one of the best big men in the league but one of the best to put on a Lakers jersey.” In fact … we’re told that the team is so enamored with Okafor that they plan to have reps spend the entire day with him … culminating with a wine and dine sesh at a fancy L.A. restaurant later tonight. Well, I learned one thing from that little Okafor dick sucking session. The Lakers definitely want Karl Anthony Towns. I know the Minnesota Timberwolves don't have a solid track record of having the keenest eye on draft, but if I, as a casual fan, can see through this smokescreen then they certainly can too. I'm not a huge poker player, but I'm pretty sure this is a vintage example of overplaying your hand. It's like when you are trying to make a trade in fantasy football and you keep including the player that had a career game for you the week prior. However, Okafor's '4 touchdown game' was apparently the best pre-draft workout in NBA history. Sorry, but I'm calling bluff. Why else would you put unnecessary pressure on a kid that you want to help turn the franchise's fortunes around? Lakers fans are already expecting the world of him without you mentioning that his ceiling is his own banner hanging from the ceiling. Was the burden of winning in the city of LA not enough weight to put on the kid's shoulders? Analyze that statement for a second. Think about the talent that has come through those doors. Wilt Chamberlain, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Magic Johnson, Kobe Bryant, Shaquille O'Neal. That's an all time, all-NBA team. By saying that Jahlil Okafor has the potential to be one of the greatest Lakers of all time you are saying that he could eventually start in that lineup. I'm not saying that Jahlil Okafor isn't a great player. I'm not saying that the Lakers wouldn't be happy to have him. However, the reality is that he is a few notches below being a surefire NBA superstar. If he had the upside that the Lakers brass claims he does it wouldn't be a secret. He would be the consensus #1 draft pick a la LeBron James. The Lakers wouldn't even be working him out because all that would separate him from Minnesota would be the time remaining until the draft. I respect the attempt, but even a franchise as blind as the Timberwolves can see through that thinly veiled gamesmanship. Daily Mail- These sickening pictures show a 'devious' convicted paedophile enjoying himself in a children's park during an outing with a young family whom he had targeted for more than one year. Hospital DJ Matt Richards was captured grinning at the camera as he played on swings and slides during a trip with family and a young child to a park in Waterlooville, Hampshire. But, unbeknown to the young mother, the 46-year-old had been banned from contacting youngsters after being jailed for sex offences against a 15-year-old girl. After being released from jail for those crimes, he had changed his name, before beginning a year-long campaign to worm his way into the unsuspecting family in order to get closer to the child. But the pervert's 'manipulative' methods were finally uncovered when the mother learned of his real identity and founds articles relating to his sordid criminal past. He has now been jailed for 33 months for breaching the terms of his release, in what the judge said was clear attempt to 'behave in a sexual manner with those children.' The mother, speaking anonymously about her ordeal, said: 'It's sickening to think he would do so much, for so long - nearly a year - to get to a child. That's some kind of obsession, it's really scary.' The 46-year-old had previously been convicted of several crimes relating to a teenage girl whom he had met while working as a hospital DJ. It's a fucked up world we live in. That's why you got to keep your head on a swizzle. As pessimistic as it seems you've always got to stay suspicious of people you don't truly know. That applies ten fold when it comes to taking care of children. So, is it incredibly disgusting that this guy got out of prison and immediately changed his name to make it easier to find his next victim? Yup. Is it disturbing to know that a pedophile could be persistent enough to spend up to a year around a family in hopes of ending up alone with the children? Absolutely, this guy is as as sick as they come. However, that's what kiddie touchers do. In order to molest children you have to be extremely dedicated to doing so. It make not be the most praiseworthy hobby, but it's not the easiest either. So at the risk of victim shaming, can we please ask these parents to be a little more dedicated to the safety of their children? It's one thing to let the nice old man next door take care of your kids. It's a whole different story when you see a 46 year old's eyes light up while playing on the playground. In my opinion he isn't even old enough to cross the barrier into being known as the harmless grandfather type. Don't let the gray hair fool you. I don't know if there are certain characteristics that are consistent with most pedophiles, but if there are this guy has ever last one of them. No man should get that much joy out of sliding down a 5 foot slide. I'm not saying that every man that has smiled while going down a children's slide is a pedophile, but I am saying that you shouldn't let them watch your child alone. Just got to play the odds on that one. If the person playing with your kids enjoys the playing more than your kids it's probably not just the thrill of the swings that they are after. This guy may be guilty of sexual misconduct and tricking his way into a family's circle of trust, but they are guilty of ignoring some very telling warning signs. Mainly the child-like twinkle in his eye and the stiffy in his pants while he refuses to wait his turn to sway back and forth on the indecipherable squiggly pole thing. P.S. Becoming a hospital DJ in order to get closer to a 15 year old girl, who I am assuming was probably in the hospital for a reason, has got to be one of the most elaborate tricks of the pedophilia trade, right? Probably shouldn't have let him see the light of day after that one. Just my opinion.
BSO- Tiffany Render wants a Florida court to find that Howard is the father of her 5-year-old daughter, and slapped the 28 year old with a paternity suit on May 12th.
There was speculation that Render was one of the eight mothers of Howard’s eight children back in 2010, when it was reported that she gave birth to a daughter named Layla. Apparently, Howard and Render had worked out a custody agreement and settled on child support outside of court around the time the girl was born. But Howard, judging from the filing of the paternity suit, reneged on their agreement, allegedly. If Howard is established as the legal father of Render’s child, the mother will likely seek a legally binding child support agreement. Dwight Howard is bad at a lot of things. Living up to his potential, maintaining any likability whatsoever, fatherhood, and of course, public relations. Come on Dwight. Collectively society has a short attention span these days. I am sure there are a bunch of people that forgot you have 8 children by 8 different women. You have to use that max contract to make sure it stays that way. What sense does it make to pay the first seven mothers and then put up a fight with the eighth? It's all or nothing 'SuperMan'. You'e pockets are already hemorrhaging. Why stop the bleeding when a few more drops could blind the public eye until at least next season? I actually don't even care if it's his child or not. After the fifth one by the fifth different mother you should lose the benefit of the paternity test. Is anyone questioning Bill Cosby's 30th victim that went public with accusations? Hell no, everyone just accepts that he probably did it and that's good enough for them. You pass 5 paternity tests in a row and we can just assume that 6-8 are going to come back with similar results. Leave it to Dwight to wait until he had an irresponsible sex life to develop a pattern of consistency. It might be a reputation that he doesn't want. It might be a reputation that will cost him a substantial percentage of his lifetime income. However, it's a reputation that he's earned. Hey Dwight, maybe it's best to just hold up your end of the bargain instead of reminding the viewing public why we hate you so much. SFGate- Frank, a 50-pound pet tortoise, has been found in western Michigan after a two-day search.
Owner Bradley Clark tells The Grand Rapids Press that he got a call from someone who said the tortoise was munching on flowers Tuesday, 7 miles from home in Kent County's Ada Township. The female African tortoise disappeared Sunday from Clark's yard in Plainfield Township, near Grand Rapids. Clark believes the 12-year-old tortoise escaped through a damaged part of the fence. Clark says he got about 100 tips. Two girls found Frank about 100 feet from Clark's home and released the tortoise in a field. Clark plans to fix his fence. He says the hunt for Frank has been "kind of a crazy roller coaster." Is it safe to say a man that can't properly take care of a 50 pound tortoise can't take care of himself either? The first place they should bring you after you lose a tortoise is the doctor so you can get a vasectomy. You can't keep your prehistoric turtle in your backyard then how could you possibly be expected to care of a child? Now, granted, a man that owns something like that probably doesn't have to worry about the acts necessary to reproduce too often, but it's better to be safe than sorry. Trust me, if we had a little Bradley wandering the streets with his head in the clouds then we would all be sorry. If you can lose an animal that big and slow then you can pretty much lose anything. This guy could probably lose his penis but I half expect that he hasn't found it yet. He got 100 tips about an animal that moves at a snail's pace. Might be time to install a tracking device, apparently he's not exactly Sherlock Holmes. Never mind the fact that you have to be a pretty creepy dude to own a tortoise for 12 years and a couple little girls next door find it and don't even know it belongs to you. I don't know about you, but I don't think a person that strange should have a couple of young girls within 100 feet of his house. Although he must be a blast at amusement parks if hunting down his tortoise is considered a 'crazy roller coaster'. Yahoo- A Kazakhstan student has been fined after dressing up as his girlfriend and trying to take an exam in her place.
Loved-up Ayan Zhademov, 20, was desperate to help his 17-year-old girlfriend out when she told him she was worried about an upcoming test. Ayan was fined £1,400 after his stunt. (CEN)Zhademov took her place by donning a black wig, putting on make-up, and wearing her white blouse and grey skirt before sneaking into the exam hall in Zhetisai, south Kazakhstan. But eagle-eyed exam administrators spotted him and took him aside for questioning. Zhademov's cover was finally blown when 'he tried speaking in a high voice, but it was obvious that he was a male'. A spokesman for the exam board said: 'We suspected it might be another woman that had taken the candidate's place, but we never suspected it was a man that had taken her place. At least not until he started speaking. Zhademov was then fined 1,400 GBP for his actions. Respect Ayan, Respect. You can call this guy a terrible person for trying to cheat on behalf of his girlfriend and compromising the integrity of the the test. You can take the complete opposite approach and call him a hopeless romantic whose love knows no bounds. Whatever side you take on this, you are absolutely wrong. First of all, everyone cheats a little bit in high school. Maybe they don't dress up someone of the opposite sex and send them in in their place, but a cheat sheet here and a little ink on the wrist there never killed anyone. Second of all, if you think this guy dressed up as a woman as some sort of romantic gesture you are beside your mind. If there is anything I know about stupid 17 year old girls it's that I would rather look like them than listen to them bitch incessantly. This wasn't a move to save his girlfriend's test scores and get her into the university, it was a move to save his own eardrums. Teenage girls are insufferable and irrational when they are happy, never mind after failing the biggest test of their life. Ayan just decided he would stop at nothing to avoid holding the phone to his ear and not paying attention for two hours. You want to tell me he did a shitty job attempting to look like a woman? That's fine, I COULD buy that. However, I am going to have to see a picture of the girl before that opinion has any validity. Hell, even the administrators didn't realize he was actually man until he talked. He continued that charade way longer than I could have. I would have been made after I scratched my balls after question 2. If anything this kid is guilty of growing up in the wrong country where people actually care about grades. If he tried to pull this off in America his girlfriend would already be 3 dicks and an abortion into her freshman year because her teacher would be busy pounding airplane bottles of vodka from underneath her desk. Fuck a passing grade, dressing up like the opposite sex is courageous now, he would've earned her a 4 year scholarship in the states. I got to say though, this pose really accentuates the Adam's apple. Clean it up Ayan. Son Of Famous Evangelist Is Boycotting His Bank For Portraying A Gay Couple In Their Commercial6/10/2015 Gawker- Having discovered the concept of the boycott, Graham then urged others to join him, writing, “Let’s just stop doing business with those who promote sin and stand against Almighty God’s laws and His standards. Maybe if enough of us do this, it will get their attention.”
I consider myself a very accepting person. Generally that statement would be followed with some diatribe about how I am okay with homosexuality, but since it's 2015, that pretty much goes without saying. I say I am accepting because I accept those that don't accept homosexuality. That's not to say that I understand them. It's not to say I associate with them. However, they are entitled to their beliefs no matter how stupid and antiquated they may be. With that said, boycotting places that provide service to gay people is a pretty risky proposition. By that I mean, your options in establishments become very limited. You don't know want to go to a bank that has a couple gays in the commercial? To each his own. Enjoy outsourcing your money to Russia. I heard they are real sticklers with the interest rate. Can't imagine it will be too convenient to fly to Indiana every time you want to eat out. I welcome homosexuality not only because I believe everyone is equal, but because I don't feel like staging a walkout if I end up behind two dudes kissing at my favorite pizza place. Hell, if I had to boycott every clothing store that allowed gays I would have to walk around dressed like a homeless person or a Saudi Arabian national. At this point I would have to trade my television in and entertain myself strictly though radically religious podcasts. There used to be a time when being gay was inconvenient. We have now reached a point where it's way more inconvenient to be homophobic. Fuck the back of the bus, if you want to be segregated from gays nowadays you better be a big fan of walking. Franklin Graham may be ready to travel far and wide to complete menial everyday tasks, but I'm certainly not. If it means only traveling a block away to get my dry cleaning then they can squeeze my ass and call me 'Daddy' on the way out. P.S. Nice try Franky... Unfortunately for Graham, the tendrils of the international homosexual conspiracy run too deep to ever truly escape: As CNN Money notes, the Billy Graham Association’s new bank, the North Carolina-based BB&T, doesn’t just depict gays in commercials but actively supports them as a sponsor of Miami Beach Gay Pride. FOX- A zoo in Illinois is investigating a controversial photo that some are calling “racist.”
The photo shows a woman wearing a Brookfield Zoo uniform with the caption: “At work serving these rude (expletive) white people.” The photo sparked outrage from some customers and was shared thousands of times of social media. Zoo officials confirmed the woman is an employee. They said in a statement: “Yesterday, we became aware of the actions of a single employee which we agree are unacceptable. This employee’s statements in social media are in violation of our policies and do not reflect our institution’s values. We have zero tolerance for these kinds of divisive behaviors. We treat all employment matters confidentially, but rest assured that we have taken prompt action to remedy the situation.” I think we have gotten to the point where everyone should be well schooled in the art of what it appropriate and inappropriate for social media. Operative word being 'should'. Let me help this girl out for a second. Work selfie? Okay. Tagging your employer when your caption insults a certain race of people? Not okay. Maybe you should write that one down sweetheart. It might come in handy next time Mrs. Rosenblum wants to complain about the price of a souvenir cup and you get an itchy trigger thumb. Now, like I said, this woman is certainly in the wrong, but she's probably not actually wrong. Does that make any sense? If I were her coworker right before she took that picture there is a good chance I would have been next to her saying 'damn, that lady was rude'. Alas, I am not black so I probably wouldn't have generalized my entire race. Regardless, this post may be inappropriate, it may even be insensitive, but I wouldn't call it racist. If this is racist then going to a rap concert and saying 'Wassup y'all? At Wiz Khalifa dealing with these loud ass black people' is racist. It's not something you should put out into the world, but it's also probably very true. White people are the worst when it comes to dealing with service employees, especially when it's in crowded places and they are with their snot nosed kids. This girl probably deals with rhetorical questions, misplaced anger, passive aggressive eye rolling and foot tapping all day. It's just how things are. White people, are entitled and ruthless when it comes to waiting for anything. We all have that one caucasian friend that is ready to stiff the waitress when his food isn't on the table and piping hot 10 minutes after ordering it. We've all had to bury our head in our hands when our mother threw a conniption in 'The Gap' about their return policy. Ever seen a bunch of white housewives waiting in line at Verizon technical support? That may be more of a zoo than the one in Brookfield, but that doesn't mean it's okay to label them animals online. This Cleveland Weatherman In An Outrage Over The Non-Call On LeBron James Is A Terrible Winner6/9/2015 Listen, I understand someone getting upset about the egregious non-call on LeBron James late in overtime, even if he didn't get called for his walk just prior. However, after your team wins the game, that both teams tried so valiantly to lose, your right to go on air bitching about some call in a game that contains 1,000 different judgment calls is revoked. It's okay to be a shitty loser. In fact, if you aren't a shitty loser then I don't know if you can call yourself a real sports fan. Being a shitty winner, on the other hand, is a different concept all together. This guy couldn't have gone on air happy that a team decimated by injuries is somehow tied with the Golden State Warriors? Couldn't celebrate his team reviving hope in a city that had seemingly been without it after news of Kyrie's season ending injury? Are we to believe that LeBron James has never been the beneficiary of a questionable call? How much of a curmudgeon do you have to be to find the negative in something as positive as an NBA Finals win? Come on man. Relax. You won. Try to be happy for two seconds. Focus on pointing at a bunch of those weather patterns that probably won't even come close to manifesting themselves. Use some really bad pun about precipitation falling harder than Steph Curry's shooting percentage. Tell the citizens of Cleveland whether or not they should bring an umbrella with them to work tomorrow. Give them some inevitably flawed information so that they can post about how easy your job is via Facebook a mere 12 hours later. Whatever you do stop crying about a call that ended up having no impact on a game you won. It's disingenuous, and quite frankly, it's petty. No one likes a shitty winner, and you are as bad as they come. Sports Illustrated- “The players won't like this, but I wish they all would stop growing beards in the postseason,” Lazarus told the Chicago Tribune. “Let's get their faces out there. Let's talk about how young and attractive they are. What model citizens they are. (Hockey players) truly are one of a kind among professional athletes. I know it's a tradition and superstition, but I think (the beards do) hurt recognition. They have a great opportunity with more endorsements. Or simply more recognition with fans saying, 'That guy looks like the kid next store [sic],' which many of these guys do. I think that would be a nice thing.”
Now, I understand what this guy's point is, but in reality it makes no sense. I don't understand how hard it is for people that are responsible for making important decisions to realize that there are 3 demographics of people in terms of hockey fandom. You have the people that will watch no matter what, the people that won't watch at all, and the people that casually watch during the playoffs. The people that are always tuned in would know what these guys looked like if they were in blackface with a patch over their eye, so I am assuming we are worried about the casual fan here? Guess what, the casual fan is watching for the entertainment value. He doesn't care about a bunch of European guys with extravagant beards. He isn't going to be the difference between a hockey player's popularity reaching a point where endorsements become a real possibility or not. The casual fan isn't spending money on hockey. He's enjoying the NHL playoffs for what they are, an edge of your seat thrill ride. He is watching because it's convenient, not because he has strong ties to any of the players. One of the coolest aspects of the NHL postseason is the tradition and superstition. One of the coolest aspects of hockey players in general is how they are willing to dedicate everything, including their appearance, to winning the Stanley Cup. Why ruin that so a bunch of people that won't care about hockey in a few weeks will find Steven Stamkos attractive or will be able to pick Patrick Sharp out of a lineup? We are talking about hockey players here. No one is paying any more attention or any less attention because a player looks like 'the boy next door'. If they were that interested they would pay attention during the regular season. Let's try not to reinvent the wheel here Mark. These guys are professional athletes playing one of the most physically demanding games on the planet. We don't need to worry about their appearance like they are set to host Saturday Night Live or star in the pilot of a new NBC sitcom. The people you are concerned about are the same people that are already fully invested in the sport, no matter what it's athletes look like. WPTV- According to Vero Beach police, Jessica Scoville and her husband David were sitting and smoking cigarettes inside a laundry room area on the rear porch of their residence when 61-year-old Leon Thurston appeared in the open doorway and told them they were being loud.
David Scoville told police that Thurston appeared to be carrying a black baton in his right hand and a small Derringer firearm in his left hand that was pointed toward him and his wife. Scoville told police that Thurston said that Jessica was coming with him and then struck Scoville twice in the right shoulder area with the baton. Jessica Scoville told police that Thurston took her to Charles Park where they walked around a dirt track and he spoke to her for the next few hours. According to a release, Scoville says that when Thurston got up to go to the bathroom she saw her opportunity to get away and was able to flag down police officers, who then swarmed in and apprehended Thurston. Thurston told detectives that he walked around with her and spoke to her to "blow off some steam", according to police. Police say he claims he was not going to hurt her or do anything "inappropriate" to her, that he just wanted to talk. Ugh, neighbors are the worst. Always complaining that you are too loud, or asking to borrow something, or inviting you to things you have no interest in attending, or apparently kidnapping you from the laundry room and making you walk around the park with them for a few hours. We really would all be better off if we just avoided our neighbors at all costs. Sure, they may be very friendly and you may get along with them great, but honestly, what are the chances of that happening? I think it's best if we just all just look straight ahead and focus on our own lives. Poor guy. In reality this was just a sweet old man that was tired of a couple making a racket in the laundry room and just wanted someone to talk to. Probably has no wife or family to confide in. Just wanted to take a few laps around the park with another voice that wasn't resonating from his own head. In college my landlord was the same way. He used to come over unannounced and yell at us for the apartment undoubtedly being a train wreck. Then he would basically hold us hostage in a house he owned by talking to us about school, and life, and the 4th roommate that we had illegally living there. This woman thinks a couple laps around the park on a warm summer night were bad? Try getting talked to at 9AM following tequila night while sitting in a complete and utter box of filth. Now sure, he didn't beat any of our significant others over the head with a baton and wield a pistol to keep us honest, but the point stands. If this guy got charged with armed burglary, aggravated battery, aggravated assault, kidnapping, false imprisonment, and carrying a concealed firearm then my landlord had to be guilty of something. If only I knew back then that I was a victim of something other than a mean hangover and the bubble guts... P.S. Biggest rookie kidnapping move ever to let someone get away because you had to use the bathroom. Watch a movie for me one time Leon.
BSO- Galan—who said the incident “wasn’t my greatest moment” in what may go down as the understatement of the year—is thankfully OK after the incident (and by “OK,” we, of course, mean “alive…even if he’s got an eviscerated testicle”). But after he was violated by the bull, he fell down and started bleeding profusely from his groin. He had to be taken to a hospital immediately and treated for his gash. Despite everything he went through, though, he still plans on fighting bulls in the future and is really downplaying what took place.
“These things happen when you go in the ring,” he said. “But bad things can also happen just walking down the street.” It's got to, right? How much could being a professional matador pay that you could watch someone 'bleed profusely from the groin' and still have the willingness to hop back into that ring? Oh yeah Galan? I can get my manhood blown off walking down the street? What streets do you walk down bro? It's like the people that say you can die getting out of bed. I would legitimately rather die getting out of bed than have a bull rip my nut off. Sure it could happen to anyone...anyone that's occupation is to provoke an animal that has deadly weapons sticking out of it's head. No joke, I can't think of anything worse possibly happening. You hit me in the groin with a NERF ball and I am probably down for the count. Never mind the horn of a musclebound bull running full speed. Seriously, I have said this before, but it applies here too. If a bull ever catches me in the scrotum, no matter what the situation is, I demand to be shot in the back of a head like a gimpy thoroughbred. Life just isn't worth living at that point. The months upon months of recover would be worth what? Being known as the guy with mangled balls. People don't forget. That shit will attract more attention than the chick walking around with full blown herpes on her lip. People constantly staring at your groin and wondering how bad it looks. People constantly asking you questions and reminding you that the area that makes a man a man probably looks more like a blind kid putting together a Mr. Potato Head of male genitalia. No fucking thanks. There's nothing 'okay' about not being able to look down at yourself naked without crying. Washington Post- The most authoritative study ever done on the impact of “Sesame Street,” to be released Monday, finds that the famous show on public TV has delivered lasting educational benefits to millions of American children — benefits as powerful as the ones children get from going to preschool. After “Sesame Street” was introduced, children living in places where its broadcast could be more readily received saw a 14 percent drop in their likelihood of being behind in school. Levine and Kearney note in their paper that a wide body of previous research has found that Head Start, the pre-kindergarten program for low-income Americans, delivers a similar benefit. The researchers also say those effects probably come from “Sesame Street’s” focus on presenting viewers with an academic curriculum, heavy on reading and math, that would appear to have helped prepare children for school. Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hold the phone! You mean to tell kids learn just as much from a walking, talking 7 foot yellow bird as they do from going and playing with blocks with a bunch of other dumb little kids. I can't believe it. I won't believe it. How dare you sit here and tell me that the social interaction that takes place in preschool has no bearing on a child's future. That would mean that mothers pay to ship their children off to a disorganized zoo instead of taking care of them themselves. That would mean that mothers would rather put someone else in charge of their crying, puking child in order to get some free time. I refuse to be told that a woman would rather enjoy an empty house while someone else wipes their child's ass after he/she shits themselves. It's a damn shame that we have become so petty to think that preschool is for the parents benefit. Just completely trivializing the curriculum being put forth by these professional educators. When's the last time 'Sesame Street' did an episode on learning to hold it in? When's the last time 'Sesame Street' taught a whiney little brat to stop pulling hair? Sure, Count Von Count may be able to get a child to count to 5, but he can't teach him to not to throw a lego at Susie's head. I think it's time we give parents more credit. It's either that or prep the foster homes when these parents inevitably go batshit from constantly cleaning up their child's bodily fluids. Daily Mail- Caitlyn Jenner has been named in her first lawsuit just one week after introducing herself to the world of the cover of Vanity Fair.
Jessica Steindorff, was the driver of a Prius that was hit by Jenner in February in an accident on Malibu's Pacific Coast Highway that ultimately left one woman dead. She is now suing the reality star claiming she suffered serious medical injuries and lost wages, and lists the defendant as 'Bruce Jenner a/k/a Caitlyn Jenner.' Well, why didn't you say so?! You didn't need to load her up with a ton of makeup, fake tits, 3 hours of photoshop, and give her a 'Vanity Fair' cover to convince me she was a broad. All you had to do was tell me she had a shitty driving record. I almost feel bad that I ever questioned the legitimacy of Caitlyn's femininity. The bitch can't drive. At least her looks finally reflect her ability to operate a motor vehicle now. Whew, no wonder everyone is so happy for her. The roads are finally safer. Can't be out there looking like a man and driving like a woman. It gives other people on the road a false sense of security. I'm just surprised that there isn't a strong contingent of people out there fighting to drop the charges. After all, we have done everything else necessary to completely evaporate the existence of some dude named Bruce. Caitlyn Jenner sitting on the bench for the crimes committed by some ugly old guy seems like wrongful persecution to me. Goddamn justice system never gets it right these days. P.S. No wonder Caitlyn has a fantastic pair on her, the doctors certainly had enough man boob to work with.
FOX- “I was one of the only white people in the area when that was happening,” Brooks told KDAF. “You can see in part of the video where he tells us to sit down, and he kinda like skips over me and tells all my African-American friends to go sit down.”
“The cops showed up and the parents immediately started yelling, ‘you need more cops, there’s too many of them.’ And most of the kids weren’t even involved. It was a fight between a mom and girl, which had nothing to do with all the other kids that she apparently needed more cops for,” Brooks explained. “My heart dropped as soon as he pulled his gun,” Brooks said. “They were just a bunch of kids having fun on their last day of school.” You know what gets lost in a lot of these videos of cops overstepping their bounds? That there is always a fucking person there recording and the cops nearly always ignore the presence of who is inevitable going to get them put on administrative leave. I feel like the first thing I would look for as a cop is some smug little shit holding a camera phone to my face. Now I don't know if this cop's rage fueled fit was racially motivated or not. I wasn't there. What I do know is that one of the only white teenagers in the area was casually walking around like he was going for a Sunday morning stroll while Officer HGH was slinging black girls to the ground face first and pulling guns on black boys in bathing suits. Far be it for me to make assumptions, but I am pretty sure he told every black person in a 2 block vicinity to sit down while the white kid was 5 minutes into getting him fired. Just skipping around making small talk with every black kid whose ass had been banished to the grass. He could have sparked up a blunt and played 'Fuck The Police' out of a stereo atop his shoulder and he still would have been invisible to that officer. If I am in that situation the white boy is getting cuffed first. Show these motherfuckers I mean business. I'm starting to feel like I would make an excellent police officer. I may need a little practice on the barrel roll, but I am certainly not making the same mistakes this guy did. White kid with a camera phone? He's the first victim. Two birds, one stone. Now you're not being filmed AND you're not racist. That would have bought this guy all the acts of prejudice he could possibly ask for. It would have bought him at least 5 more minutes of abusing his power. Hell, it would have bought him his job back. The world doesn't think your racist if the world doesn't see you being blatantly racist. My father always said, "you don't have to work as hard if you work smart". Now this cop isn't even allowed to work because he was guilty of working stupid. I don't care how right you THINK you are as a police officer, if someone is filming you then you are probably going to be viewed as wrong. That's why you can't ignore the pudgy white kid that only has his phone because he's fully clothed and avoiding popping his top off at the pool at all costs. He may not be the one causing a raucous, but he's the one that is of most danger to you.
P.S. Good on this kid for maintaining the artistic integrity of the video. His heart may have dropped when the cop pulled his gun, but his filming hand stayed strong.
P.P.S. Demanding NINE more cop cars is outrageous. |
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