God Bless The Kid Who Wrote A Letter To His Parents As His Teacher To Get Out Of School For A Week6/21/2016
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This Chick Who Allegedly Outed Richard Jefferson As A Cheater A Decade After The Fact Has No Respect6/21/2016
With winning comes notoriety. With notoriety comes exposure. With exposure comes - well, for lack of better wording - the likelihood of being exposed. Jeez Cat, how long you had these tweets in your back pocket? What'd you leave them in the pair of jeans you wore once and just so happened to find them when you were doing a little end-of-Spring cleaning? Completely forgot you had this information because RJ has mostly been a non-factor the last few years and then decided to release it when you saw he was having a late career resurgence in the NBA Finals? I bet Richard Jefferson thought he was well past the age where he had to worry about groupies coming out of the woodwork attempting to submarine his marriage. Thought that was one blessing that came with being a washed up NBA star that was just quietly playing out his final days. Guess he shouldn't have temporarily assumed the role of the Cavaliers 3rd best player on the game's biggest stage. That'll get every girl with a couple thousand followers to piggy back his success by speaking ill of his condom bowl. Just when he thought he did everything to emphasize safety in his 20's some random broad comes out of the woodwork to make him sorry in his 30's. He did the nicest thing an NBA boyfriend/husband has ever done for his girlfriend/wife by using protection. Yet, he still had his decade old bachelor spot blown up by some jersey chaser - that he allegedly didn't even get his own rendezvous with - just ONE game before finally becoming (and retiring) an NBA Champion? Just doesn't seem fair. I guess the good news is that he doesn't seem at all concerned by it...or sober for that matter...
I'll always miss the good old days RJ, and according to this story, so will you... I Have One Complaint About These Kids That Let Their Friend With Down's Syndrome Win A Race6/21/2016
Metro- Knowing it was their last school sports day together, a group of school boys decided to make it one their classmate Rory Kettles would remember.
Lining up on their final race, the group linked arms, ensuring their 11-year-old friend, who has Down’s Syndrome, would win while they all came joint second. The gesture brought parents at the event at Wrawby St Mary’s C of E Primary School in Lincolnshire to tears, in what was already an emotional occasion for all involved. ‘Being their last sports day they decided they wanted their friend Rory to remember his last running race by coming first,’ she said. ‘They all slowed down, put their arms round each other and ran together to make sure they came joint second.’ ‘Rory’s mum couldn’t believe it, but the boys acted like it wasn’t a big deal.’ She said: ‘As you can imagine I’m incredibly proud of all the children – it was something the children came up with themselves. Don't get me wrong, I love the gesture. I think it's pretty damn awesome that a bunch of camp-goers were able to think this up on their own without the urging of counselors or parents. That said, couldn't they have kept this race a little closer? There's nothing worse than feeling like a charity case. I know he's a little slow, but if that kid's brain works as well as his legs do then he might put the pieces together when he looks back and he sees every other participant holding hands 6 feet from the starting line. I admittedly don't know the mental aptitude of those with Down's Syndrome, but imagine finishing what was supposed to be a competitive event and turning around to see this shit... I'm assuming that Rory has been involved with every race all school year so he can probably recognize that they generally don't look like the photo above. What did these kids not trust each other to suppress their competitive juices throughout the entirety of a 40 yard dash? Were they so concerned about getting a spot at the podium that they decided to collectively finish tied for second? It's not exactly difficult to throw a race. In fact, it's pretty damn easy to look like you're trying without joining hands like you're engaging in group prayer. If you want to make the kid feel like he accomplished something then at least let him be able to feel an opponent in the rearview, because if he's "there" enough to understand that his friends let him win then it's actually more insulting than it is compassionate. Here's a lesson your teachers apparently skipped over: A little bit of subtlety goes a long way. Idea: A+ Execution: C- You've simply got to hand it to him. Picking the winner of the NBA finals wrong six years in a row is actually more impressive than correctly picking the winner of the NBA finals six years in a row. He's not even the designated Devil's Advocate on his own television panel and he's intentionally picked the incorrect side to argue on behalf of more than a handful of times consecutively. I know I only got a 'C' in Statistics 101, but it seems downright unfathomable that anyone - never mind a self proclaimed basketball expert - could be so automatic in fucking up a coin flip. Especially since it means he's picked against the best player in the sport the 3 times he's won, and picked for him the 3 times he lost. At this point LeBron would be better off incorporating the money he should be paying Stephen A. Smith under the table to bet against him into his annual budget. Ironic that it's the person who speaks in such a brash, obnoxious tone that it makes you question whether or not having all 5 senses is worth it is the one that would be better off choosing his NBA Champion out of hat while blindfolded. I guess it is true...what you are speaks louder than what you say. Stephen A. might want to trade in a few decibels for an accurate prediction, because what he is is wrong as fuck - no matter what unconscionable volume he says it at. Swaggy P Can't Be Too Happy That D'Angelo Russell Is Now Profiting Off His Snitching, Right?6/21/2016 As far as PG commercials for popular sneaker outlets go, this was pretty funny. Not laugh out loud funny, but it did put a smirk on my face when I saw D'Angelo Russell wind and fire through the open bay window and that's more than can be said for most marketing campaigns. However, while we all get - yet another - laugh at the expense of D'Angelo Russell's stupidity, I would have to imagine that Swaggy P just launched his remote against whatever hundred thousand dollar piece of furniture he is sitting on. I'm sure his breakup with Iggy Azalea was a longtime coming - even before SnapChat turned into SnitchRat - but the fact that D'Angelo Russell is now profiting off the stress he caused Nick Young has to have the latter fuming. If his career goes anywhere near as planned then the guy that was drafted #2 overall stands to make a lot more money over the course of the next decade than the bench player who makes JR Smith look down to earth. Now, not only does he have a bigger contract, but he's parlaying the destruction of his (most likely former) teammate's marriage into advertising dollars? I personally don't think this is a "too soon" situation, but I'm not the one that spent the last 2-3 months trying to gain back the trust of a crazy white girl that threatened to cut off my penis. If it were me, I think I might feel inclined to cut a piece of that 'Foot Locker' check to the guy whose ruined relationship made it all possible. Not just because it's the right thing to do, but because the verbal abuse Swaggy P had to endure from a scorned woman undoubtedly has vengeance on his mind, and it probably won't be too long before he no longer has a roster spot to lose. UPDATE: Not to pat myself on the ass, but I am pretty sure I was spot on...
This obviously shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone. I mean, the number of people beating off in the middle of the street in downtown Cleveland had to at least match the number of people laying in their dimly lit rooms with a bottle of 'Aveeno' conveniently placed next to the them on the nightstand. I bet more Clevelanders came themselves to the image of LeBron James crying in the fetal position than they did to anal POV's videos on Sunday night. Just saying, the fine folks of Akron did not need to watch a janitor plunge some lonely housewife to have the entirety of their pipes cleaned after Kyrie Irving hit that 3. I guess I just find the mental image of PornHub employees sitting around rooting for whatever team has the lowest population of perverts to be oddly hilarious. Obviously the premier online pornography site isn't struggling financially, but it's still hilarious to think that - all things being equal - they would rather the team in the less sexually uninhibited city win. I don't know what's happening behind closed doors in Oakland, but something tells me it's got NOTHING on Cleveland's search history. The guys (assumption) at PornHub know more than any of us would ever want to know about Middle America's favorite fetishes. I don't exactly pleasure myself to missionary love making, but whatever Ohio-ans collectively refrained from watching - as they were stealing firetrucks in celebration of their first championship in 50 years - should probably land some of them in prison. This is the only climax Cleveland was interested in touching themselves to, and you have to imagine that was at least a little disappointing for the people constantly monitoring the number of deviants watching barely legal teens get gagged... LeBron's Earned The Right To Return To Social Media With A Post Full Of Exaggerations And Mistruths6/21/2016
They said u lost a step, wasn't explosive as once was, the best days was in the real view, questioned your drive, your leadership, your commitment, you don't have killer instinct, going back home is the worst mistake in your career, he got the coach fired, players traded, won't work between him and Kyrie, Him and Kev won't work, love your teammates to much, there's no way he can deliver a championship in his hometown, etc etc etc.... But guess what THATS NONE OF MY BUSINESS #StriveForGreatness#ThisOneIsForTheLand#PutSomeRespeckOnMyName Hahahaha!!! Yes sir
Well, we all should have seen this coming. I would have to check the online NBA sportsbook odds, but I am pretty sure if you had yesterday as the day in which LeBron would make his "long awaited" return to the 'Gram then you probably had nothing more than your investment returned. Obviously his primary motivation was the desire to forever alter his legacy and insert his name into rarified air by putting up unforeseen numbers in an unforeseen comeback against the reigning champs and winningest team ever. Still, you have to imagine that the lust to rub everyone of our faces in it on social media was - at the very least - festering in the back of his mind. Was everything he said right? Absolutely not. I can promise you no one ever said he loved his teammates too much when he was subtweeting them from a private jet on his way to workout with a member of his former team. I also don't think there were too many questioning his ability to bring a championship to 'The Land' (pretty sure that nickname is going to stick now, might as well get used to it) after he did all be could to make sure it was a situation that was conducive to winning. Were some of the public's criticisms correct? Without a doubt. If Dan Gilbert swore under oath that bringing in Kevin Love and firing David Blatt were originally his ideas then I would demand that his phone and computer were confiscated as part of an investigation for perjury. Everyone that questioned his abilities on the basketball court is undoubtedly tasting their foot (and/or LeBron's proverbial dick), but that doesn't change the fact that some of the things he mentioned were valid critiques. That said, none of it matters. Did you watch Game 7? LeBron can reconstruct the narrative however he so chooses. He did what he said he was going to do. Doesn't matter whose hunger he questioned or whose job security he compromised along the way. History is written by the winners and - after the display we just witnessed - LeBron gets full editorial control. If he says everything that was said about him was patently false then we just have to take it lying down. At the encouragement of Draymond Green we labeled one of the best basketball players ever to walk this earth a 'bitch', and he's earned every single right to return the "favor" and more. Dwyane Wade Defended The Heat's 2006 Championship Against All Their Naysayers...10 Years Later6/20/2016
There's alot of coverage on the 2006 NBA Finals right now...One because it was the most controversial finals to date and today makes exactly 10 years to the date we won our first ever title as an organization and me as a player. It was one of the greatest moments in my life and probably one of the worst for the Dallas Mavericks. That's sports... we've all had our moments to feel both ways. Now what I'm reading about the series is unfair to me as a basketball player. Did I get some calls that I could have played through YES. We all do...but was I attacking every time I touch the ball...YES. This picture is an example of a play in game 5 that everyone said I didn't get fouled on. Listen most athlete have never committed a foul but D Harris my guy...this is a foul haa. All in all we did find a way to beat a team that was a much better team then us that season...but they got their payback in 2011 as a franchise so in my mind it's a wash..but iam proud to take a look back at these moments and say I had a hand in us winning our first ever championship. #2006
They say you learn something new everyday, and today we learned that Dwyane Wade is shockingly insecure about the legitimacy of the Miami Heat's championship a decade ago. I know that sounds crazy, but what are the other alternatives? I spend more time scouring the internet for bullshit opinions than anyone else I know and I haven't seen one damn person - other than guy defending it - mention a series that was played when Shaquille O'Neal was still able to get up and down a basketball court without a defibrillator. I recall watching those games and I don't even remember the officiating being as big of a deal as it was this postseason. However, if Dwyane Wade felt threatened enough to rebuke claims of chicanery then I have no choice but to think the David Stern era was once again well at work. Honestly though, where could this outburst have stemmed from? I feel like he had a couple friends over for Game 7 last night and they were throwing back beers and busting each other's balls. The asshole of the group probably said "Damn Dwyane, now LeBron has more valid rings than you" and it ate at him all night until he felt compelled to pick one picture of one foul to fend off fictitious haters that stopped talking about the 2006 playoffs two weeks after they ended. Nothing NBA players despise more than having their championships called into question, and D-Wade is displaying a level of paranoia that is generally reserved for the morally uneasy. This Instagram post came off reading like a guy who drunkenly came across a picture of his ex-girlfriend on FaceBook years after they broke up and decided to call her to say "I swear to God I never cheated on you!" before abruptly hanging up. It's just a whole hell of a lot more believable if you don't immediately jump on the defensive when the offense took their ball and went home ages ago. Okay Dwyane, whatever you say man. The only championship you won without LeBron is genuine. Does that make you feel better? It doesn't make me feel any better because I instantly became exponentially more skeptical of the authenticity of that statement once you came out of the clouds to safeguard it from non-existent opposition. Dwyane Wade couldn't look more guilty of being the beneficiary of biased officiating if he tried, and no one has accused him of that since 'Pirates Of The Caribbean 2' hit theaters. Metro- Don’t you hate it when you’re trying to advertise something for sale on Facebook and accidentally post nudes?
Jessica O’Brien swears she had honest intentions as she set out to shift her £400 white corner sofa. But nestled among the pictures of the leather settee she uploaded was a photo of her exposed chest in a purple lace bra. Unsurprisingly, the 25-year-old’s unusual post on a local buy-and-sell page quickly gained a lot of interest. Soon afterwards, Jessica wrote: ‘When you make an absolute schoolboy error on your buy and sell post!!!’ A friend said she was ‘mortified’, adding: ‘Some people have joked that it was for publicity to help sell her sofa but it was just an accident. ‘She’s really embarrassed.’ Oh yeah, that sounds perfectly reasonable. If there is anything I know about 25 year old chicks that have nude photos readily available on their phone it's that they aren't likely to know exactly what they are posting on social media before they post it. ESPECIALLY when it's a picture. Not like girls of that age and ilk treat the selection of which photos to put in a pic-stitch like it's a life and death decision that the future of the free world hinges on or anything. They're liable to post any old crap regardless of how it makes them look to their online community of family, frenemies, and perverts. Angle? Lighting? None of that matters to full bodied, curvaceous women. That's why I can't even think about blaming Jessica here. This wasn't a ploy to sell some shitty wraparound couch. Everyone knows that white furniture basically sells itself. The last thing it needs is an a accompanying pair of tits to increase it's resale value. Look how well that picture of this chick's massive breasts resting comfortably against her cheekbones blends in with 5 still shots of an ivory sofa with unsightly green pillows. It would have taken the high scorer on the 'Photo Hunt' machine at your nearest dive bar to pick out the differences in these pictures. You have nothing to be embarrassed about Jessica. Not just because those air bags could smother a wild fire, but because you quite clearly didn't include them in your ad to demand attention or gain more money. That would be way less understandable than blindly posting sexts of yourself without realizing.
Cleary it wasn't when the final buzzer went off officially making him an NBA champion. It definitely wasn't when he has in the locker room channeling his inner 'Texas Rattlesnake'. It wasn't even this morning when Kevin Love was still so deep in the bag that he had more than likely convinced himself that he actually was Stone Cold Steve Austin. Still, there has to be a moment - likely well after he finally sobers up - that Kevin Love emotionally distances himself from the the NBA Championship for which he was mostly a bystander. I am sure that he is happy to walk away from his stint in Cleveland (that hopefully has come to an end) with some hardware, because he needed something to make him feel a little better about the irreparable damage he caused his reputation over the last two years. That said, there's no way someone that was once such a dominant force can take all that much pride in a title that was largely won despite him. Something tells me Kevin Love will view this championship the way Brock Osweiler views "his" Super Bowl victory. He was probably super excited when they won it, but as soon as the novelty wore off and it was time to take a trip to the White House he was like "you know what, I think I'd rather just go to Texans practice". I just have to imagine that a few short months from now Kevin Love will be playing in another city and he'll be looking for all the "Texans practices" he can to take his mind off the fact that his own fans wanted him to be sat during the biggest games of his career. He deserves a ring for all the emasculation and criticism (some earned, some not) he received for being the square peg repeatedly bashed into a round hole in the Cavaliers lineup, but would it really shock you if that ring is collecting dust by the start of next season?
I'm not going to lie to you, I am mildly interested in the back story here. I don't know - or particularly care - who is in charge of the Detroit Lions twitter, but I need to find out how he was a quarter of a year late on wishing a rostered player a happy birthday. I mean, he ( or she I guess) wasn't even close. Wrong month AND wrong date?!? Can you even call something an "accident" if it requires that much pure, unadulterated negligence? Sure, I forget people's birthdays all the time, but that's why I never even try to get them right. I'm not even sure this is true, but I like to believe that ignoring the anniversary of someone's arrival onto this planet is less disrespectful than congratulating them on it without even caring enough to double check that you got the day right. More importantly, you know that first thought that went through Kyle Van Noy's head was "how, out of all the teams in the NFL, did I end up on the one that can't even properly run a twitter account?". This was just a stark reminder that he's trapped on the Detroit Lions and he'll have a one way, non-expiring ticket to the laughing stock as long as he continues to be. I'm sure he's glad he has a well paid job doing what he loves, but you have to believe he wishes it was with an organization that was capable of completing simple, kind gestures without unintentionally insulting their employees. If I were him I would just work extra hard, become one of the best players at my position, and then retire early. I'm pretty sure that's how things work in Detroit. He's only a couple of All-Pro nominations away from calling it quits and having people remember the correct season in which he was born. LeBron Landed In Cleveland In An Outfit That Spoke Enough Volumes To Drowned Out Draymond Green6/20/2016 A Kermit sipping tea hat? An 'Ultimate Warrior' t-shirt? I don't even want to discuss how both of those items of clothing are absolute fire in and of themselves. I don't even want to talk about how they both stomp directly on the still warm heart of a recently deceased Golden State team. I would rather point out that LeBron James - before traveling to play Game 7 against the winningest team in basketball history on the road in one of the most difficult buildings to win in all of sports - bought and packed a fucking victory ensemble. Forget Steph Curry's half court heaves and ankle breaking handle, LeBron worrying about what he was going to wear after completing a historical comeback before he even completed it is the cockiest thing we have witnessed from an NBA player this season. He still has moments where he acts like a "bitch", or a "fuck boy", or whatever the hell Draymond Green called him in Game 4. Hell, he even had a few last night. That doesn't change the fact that with 3 consecutive super human performances and a quick search of his closet he made the Golden State Warriors eat every last one of their words. I may not like the guy, but I'll be damned if don't respect the unrelenting heartlessness he showed his opponent immediately after said opponent questioned his manhood. I know it's none of my business, but I can't help but wonder how Klay's feelings are holding up. Mo Speights better use that formula to cure his team's calcium deficiency, because LeBron didn't even need sticks or stones to snap the backbone of the Warriors. He just needed to find his jumper and channel his new favorite clothing combo. Quick question Draymond...
One short plane ride to Vegas later:
If there is one thing you can definitively say about JR Smith it's that he is never not himself. The emotional rollercoaster he took for a spin last night is straight out of his very own amusement park. Not only that, but it was eerily reminiscent of his play on the court. It was up. It was down. It was bad. It was good. In fact, the only thing that ever remains constant about it is that it's always thrilling. I'll tell ya this, I wasn't interested in watching the reality show people were crucifying him for promoting during the NBA Finals. However, if going from an inconsolable ball of tears to dumping full bottles of champagne on unsuspecting women is in any way a preview then I should have programmed the DVR yesterday. Guy couldn't go more than a handful of hours without taking people's feelings about him and tossing them in a mixing bowl, but at least it's a sign that he always stays true to who he is - even if it does ignite the fuse of every single self respecting woman from sea to shining sea. Only JR Smith could tug on every last one of our heart strings and only be a puddle jumper away from needing a teammate to apologize for him. Only he could go from making us well up right along with him to making us scream "no, NO, NO!" at a moment's notice. Trust that there is a very good reason his daughter is so proud of him for simply not getting kicked off the team. P.S. Props to RJ for jumping in their and providing some savvy veteran leadership, because that girl was NOT happy to get drenched in tens (hundreds?) of thousands of dollars of bubbly. A little blame has to fall on her shoulders though. As they say, never turn your back on the shirtless guy in the club - whose eyes have been stoned oriental - when he has an open bottle of liquor in his hand. If that's not a Chinese proverb waiting to be published then I don't know what is. You know what I will never understand? People's incredible timing with viral videos. I am assuming this had to be set up considering the person shooting it just so happened to capture the perfect 6 seconds, but if I were in his shoes I would need at least 3-4 takes before I walked away with a Vine that was passable for public consumption. This dude had one shot - as thousands upon thousands of people were rushing to get out of a crowded arena quickly turned funeral home - and he absolutely crushed it. The outreaching hand? The all-too-cavalier (pun intended) dab? The look on Dell Curry's face as he rubbernecked the shit out of the guy that just took advantage of his vulnerability following his son's epic collapse? And all of it taking place on Father's Day?!?! That may be one of the most cold blooded displays I have ever seen encapsulated in a easily digestible clip, but it was so amazingly produced that it's hard to believe that the victim wasn't in on it. This kid (presumably) should get a goddamn Emmy for that flawless piece of short film making, because I don't think I am just speaking for myself when I say I would have fumbled my phone and likely spilled my beer if presented with this golden of an opportunity. Seriously though, say a prayer for the Curry family. I know that they been given the royal treatment since Steph unlikely ascension to super stardom, but the inevitable backlash is coming back to haunt them and it's coming in tsunami sized waves. Steph is getting killed for faltering on the floor when the lights got the brightest. His wife is getting murdered in the media for failing to realize it doesn't require a well concealed conspiracy for her husband to lose a couple basketball games. His 3 year old daughter has merciless amounts of slander being tossed her way on twitter , but luckily they keep missing and hitting some random 29 year old man from Tennessee. And last but certainly not least, his Dad is getting mocked on camera the one day a year we are supposed to leave patriarchs be. He brought the second best basketball player in the world onto this planet, and he's not even safe from being taunted with antiquated fad dance moves on Father's Day. It's just not right. It's absolutely fucking hilarious, but it's just not right. The Things That Made The Warriors So Fun To Watch Inevitably Cost Them Back-To-Back Championships6/20/2016
Look, I am not saying that unnecessary behind the back passes and forced off balance 3-pointers were the key to the Warriors historical season. It takes a lot more than video game-esque plays to win 73 games in the regular season and come within one victory of back-to-back titles. Golden State's ball movement, shooting, and ability to create matchup nightmares (in large part due to Draymond Green) were all critical to their success. That said, it's plays like those above that we were all so quick to praise when they worked out, so we shouldn't hesitate to criticize them when they don't. The reason that the Warriors were must watch television is because they defied the odds. Simply put, they played low percentage basketball at a much higher percentage than anyone else in the history of the sport. I don't exactly have stats to back this up, but considering they were the winningest team ever I feel pretty comfortable saying no team has been as prosperous while all but ignoring their own proclivity to turning the ball over. And it doesn't stop with reckless shots and fancy passes. The aggressiveness of Draymond Green - that people so often lauded throughout the year - finally came to a head...of a man's penis...multiple times...and likely allowed the Cavaliers to gain the confidence they needed to spark their series turnaround. Klay Thompson is crucial to Golden State because he brings the skill set of a #1 option without demanding the ball as much a #1 option, yet his failure to do so proved detrimental seeing as he was their most consistent player throughout the entirety of the playoffs. We love the Warriors because we have never seen a team play - and more importantly win - like the Warriors, but when those ill advised shots aren't falling they go from looking carefree to careless. Steph Curry could have driven past Kevin Love on like 13 different occasions in a 20 second span, but he was obsessed with the idea of tying the game when their was still plenty of time left on the clock. The 'And 1' street ball routine he put on in the closing minute of Game 7 of the NBA Finals was not smart basketball, and we should not act like it was just because we like the guy who was doing it. That's not to say that Golden State should change what got them with 6 points of a repeat but it is to say that who they are is not without potential pitfalls, and we saw them come to the forefront at the worst possible time.
Kyrie had just hit an absolute dagger of a 3-pointer. Steph Curry was panically dribbling around the arch looking for the smallest sliver of daylight to match it with a shot that was so forced it made LeBron's pop culture references look spontaneous. It was at that moment that I accepted that the Cleveland Cavaliers were likely going to win a championship, and I began to appreciate everything their fearless leader accomplished in literally dragging them back from the dead to do so. It's only right I call it a moment, because boy was it fleeting. I had hardly even began to absorb just how historical his efforts were before LeBron rose to throw down a thunderous insurance dunk over top of Draymond Green and ended up writhing around on the ground like he had snapped his arm in three places. Literally 10 seconds of game time away from forever altering his legacy and he still couldn't restrain himself from theatrics that would make a thespian roll their eyes. As if that weren't cringeworthy enough, he followed up a final whistle that cemented his place NBA lore by falling to the ground in a puddle of tears as 300 cameramen and - more importantly - his teammates just stood around watching. Never mind the fact that he was pounding the court with the hand he would have had you believe was no longer attached to his body just minutes before. I had already had enough of LeBron before he started putting his hands in the air with 3 fingers raised as if the first two fingers didn't represent the time he callously spurned the franchise he was now celebrating with on national television. Am I nitpicking? Absolutely. I am nitpicking because that's what we do to people that constantly beg for attention. It was a pleasure to watch him rise above it, but LeBron James has asked for every single criticism that has come his way over the course of his illustrious career. 'The Decision'?Proclaiming his Miami super-team was going to win upwards of 5-6 championships? The announcement that he was 'Coming Home' to finish what he started like he wasn't just doing it because it gave him a better chance to win? The flops? The subtweets? The nauseating quotes and borderline sociopathic behavior? People don't hate LeBron because of what he's able to do on the basketball court. People hate LeBron because he's a passive aggressive, narcissistic, self serving egomaniac that loves nothing more than engaging in mental warfare. Why else would someone hate a guy that's capable of this... Like it or not, it's 2016 and with as much of a look as we get into the lives of our favorite (and least favorite) athletes - personality undoubtedly matters. I am sure you can find the people that help harp on the fact that he was 2-4 in the NBA finals before last night. There are plenty that will call him un-clutch despite any and all evidence to the contrary. Get ready, because the amount of people singing his praises will likely be matched by the amount of people bringing up Michael Jordan's trophy case. You know what all those people have in common? They are too ashamed to say that the only reason they don't like LeBron James is because he's an insufferable human being. Maybe the same would be said about the psuedo-alcoholic gambling addict he is so often compared to if the media landscape was the same in the 90's. We'll never know. What I do know is that the best player I have watched with a basketball in his hands is also the most painful I have watched when he has a microphone in his hands. I respect his greatness, but it would be disingenuous of me to do so without also acknowledging his fakeness. LeBron James Is Your Finals MVP And A Failure Of The NBA To Recognize That Would Be Felonious6/19/2016 What I am about to say is actually a credit to the team that won 73 games and is on the precipice of back-to-back championships, because the Golden State Warriors are far too good to believe that any of their efforts in this series have been at all worthy of so much as a nomination. With the minor caveat being a Wilt Chamberlain-esque point total from one of Klay Thompson or Steph Curry in Game 7, LeBron James is your NBA Finals MVP. That's not an opinion, it's a fact. Whatever line of thinking you could possibly use to come to an alternate conclusion simply does not parallel rational thought. Generally I would agree that the losing team should never hoist an award, but that undoubtedly awkward moment would uphold the spirit of said award far better than giving it to any of the largely underwhelming players on the Warriors roster. I hate LeBron James as much as the next guy who despises self involved douchebags that haven't socially matured since high school, but even I can't justify letting his greatness go unrewarded. The things he has accomplished over the course of this series have been so incredible that they almost made forget -albeit temporarily - just how loathsome the person that is accomplishing them is when he decides to remind us of his personality. It's not just that LeBron James has been, far and away, the premiere player on the floor for almost every minute of the last 6 games, it's that we have seen nothing but the worst of the members of the winningest team in basketball. It's not just that he is the best option, it's that these finals have suffered from a dire lack of even remotely comparable options. Who else could you possibly give Finals MVP to? Draymond Green? The guy whose fascination with male reproductive organs resulted in a long overdue suspension that turned the series around and could -potentially- cost his team a championship? Steph Curry? The guy whose second biggest contribution on the biggest stage his sport has to offer was a temper tantrum that was so laughable that it sent his wife careening off this planet in a fit of online hilarity ? Klay Thompson? The guy who let LeBron's name slip from his mouth in a disparaging way and almost immediately had it replaced with every inch of Kyrie Irving's manhood? Giving any of those players an individual award after their failure to live up to expectations (granted, absurdly high expectations) would actually depreciate the value of that award. Unless you are criminally overvaluing Shaun Livingston's 20 point effort in Game 1 then you can't deny that 2016 doesn't have an "Andre Iguodala" like 2015 did. If the Cavaliers outlandish turnaround continues tonight then this is a moot argument, but - as ridiculous as it sounds - if the Warriors make history on their home court they should still lose basketball's most notorious individual accolade going away. Not just because LeBron is doing things we have never seen before, but because Steph Curry and company are doing things we have never seen them do either - and not in a good way. If my hating ass can see that then the NBA certainly should.
Perfect. Just perfect. Nothing will silence the NBA conspiracy theorists like an endorsement from a professional athlete. That's sure to keep everyone grounded. Who even cares that their primary sticking point is 2-3, potentially poor hand checking calls on Steph Curry? It's pretty obvious - to me anyway - that a league that's worth billions and filled with hundreds of athletes (and apparently actors) is so scripted that it makes 'The Young And The Restless' feel improvised. That theory is so damn flawless that it makes Beyonce appear to have woken up looking like the horse-faced member of 'Destiny's Child'. Can't possibly just be two great teams, featuring two superstar players, trading body blows down the stretch of the final round. Nah, not with the officiating last night. I don't know what the referees put on the bottom of the Warriors shoes, but it basically stopped them in their tracks when they were "trying" to play transition defense and slow down a Cavaliers team that IMMEDIATELY jumped out to a 20 point lead. It's actually amazing more people aren't talking about how rigged the game appeared down the stretch when the Warriors exploded to put up all of 11 points in the first quarter. Seriously though, I bet Ayesha Curry put Riley down for a nap and started flicking her bean to this tweet, and that should be a billboard-sized sign of just how preposterous it is to anyone that even considers agreeing with it. You want to tell me there was a little something other than justice behind the NBA's decision to suspend Draymond Green for Game 5 then I would absolutely agree with you, but what part of LeBron's historic night was fixed? Did Adam Silver just push the easy button up in the booth and his jumper started falling? Did he tell Steph Curry that his childhood dog - that his family sent to live with "a really sweet couple with a huge yard upstate" - finally kicked the bucket so he wouldn't be mentally prepared to play? A handful of bad calls doesn't mean the game is pre-determined, it means the officials stink. Ironically enough, that falls perfectly in line with what we have come to expect from them this season, so I am not sure why it's taken until now for a select group of idiots - David Price included - to assume fraudulence instead of negligence. Uproxx- This story hails from the Marine Corps Times, which screencapped a Facebook photo that threatens to attack gay bars with rifles. The post, which you can see in full below, shows a West Coast Marine proudly brandishing a weapon with a “coming to a gay bar near you!” caption. The closed Camp MENdelton Resale group (which boasts 25,000 members) quickly intercepted and removed the post. They banned the offending member — who reportedly also left a “too soon?” comment — from the forum for publishing hate speech.
Too soon? Of course it's not too soon! It's already been way past 100 hours since a sexually confused psychopath burst through the doors of a gay club, killed 49 people, and critically injured 53 others. It's not like we expected someone whose supposed to be protecting this country to wait more than 5 days before he brandished a comparable firearm and made a joke - for which I am still awaiting the punchline - about committing a similarly horrific act of violence. Jeez everybody, un-bunch your panties. If Jarhead over here had waited any longer than a week then his super hilarious one-liner would have already been irrelevant and fallen on deaf ears. That's the problem with this country these days. Everyone is just looking for a reason to get upset. Can't even appreciate a good old fashioned homophobic knee-slapper just because the LGBT community is still reeling from one minor prejudicial act of mass murder. Hasn't anyone else heard that a good laugh is the best cure for anything? I suppose posting something that's even remotely funny would be the most efficient way to get that laugh, but who am I to start judging everyone else's sense of humor? This one probably killed in the foxhole. Like they say, different strokes for different folks. Sure, most people will find this ridiculously offensive and alarmingly threatening, but I bet that there's someone out there - laid up in a desert focused on narrowly avoiding death - that could be coerced into begrudgingly smiling at it. P.S. I'm going to be pissed if they kick him out of the corps. This guy has short term sacrificial distraction written all over him. A Bunch Of People Are Tweeting Mean Things At Riley Curry, A 29 Year Old Man From Tennessee6/17/2016
The tragic aspect of this story is that there is a 29 year old man from Tennessee that doesn't appreciate having the Riley Curry twitter handle. It's not the people tweeting horrific things at a toddler - that happens to have a professional athlete as a father - that bother me. It's the grown ass recipient with no sense of humor that I am upset with. I suppose it's a little bit sad that people have so much hate in their heart that they feel it necessary to direct it at someone who may or may not be potty trained, but you'd have to be living under a rock to not understand that those people exist. Plus, it's not like she's actually the one seeing them. Hell, I wish she was. If her mother is any indication then she would handle this situation in a far more amusing way than sending butt-hurt tweets to mediocre morning shows. That's why this guy who has sole ownership of @rileycurry is an ungrateful asshole. Maybe he - unlike the vast majority of people on social media - doesn't enjoy entertainment, but the rest of us are just out here trying to have a good chuckle at the expense of the lowest possible brow. So Riley (the adult one), give that stick in your ass a nice little tug and realize how lucky you are, because you can say a lot about the mental capacity of the composer but don't tell me that this tweet didn't make you laugh...
I suppose you could make an argument that the rest don't exactly possess the same comedic value, but if he wants to switch handles then I will gladly take the extra mentions as long as 10% of them put a smile on my face. This might make me a bad person, but I find the concept of getting a first hand view of people's stupidity through blind insults that were meant for an oblivious infant to be oddly hilarious. You just got to make sure it's done right, which is something the following people have to work on...
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