Even I will admit that the title of this post is a little misleading. Obviously the nod has to go to God for constructing the world in seven days, but Ray Shero and Co. transforming the state of the New Jersey Devils in only 4 games is pretty goddamn (no pun intended) impressive. There are people that take months, and even years, to flip houses, meanwhile John Hynes just flipped the fortunes of an entire sports franchise in like 10 days. The oft-mentioned rebuild that many thought the Devils were set to undergo for the next few years is already complete. In real estate terms the sign has been nailed down in the front yard. Fly the balloons and schedule the open house bitches, this team is back. This team is special. Now, obviously those are relative terms, considering I don't expect the Devils to be skating Lord Stanley's Cup around the ice this summer, but one thing this team definitely isn't is bad. Rebuilds are how bad hockey teams justify long periods of ineptitude. If the Devils have proven anything this year it's that they aren't a bad hockey team. Shit, 10-3 after starting of 0-3-1? I would go as far as saying that to this point "good" might not even do them justice. Does that mean they can't turn around and lose 10 straight and make me look like an asshole? Of course not. However, nothing to this point, other than an undying sense of pessimism amongst the fanbase, shows me that is going to come to fruition. This team is gritty, persistent, and whats's that other word I am looking for? Oh yeah, RELENTLESS. They win games they should. They win games they shouldn't. They even win the symbolic, "too good to be true" games.
Come on. A 4-0 shutout of the Pittsburgh Penguins? Ray Shero, John Hynes, and Bobby Farnham reigning victorious over the organization that, at one point or another, sent them packing. You could masturbate to a picture that perfect. Is this real life? It's starting to feel like that time I woke up hungover and drooling on my couch when I was balls deep in Jessica Alba just seconds prior. I can't take that type of heartbreak again. Did someone drug me? I don't even think I can sleep long enough to dream up the euphoria that the last 13 games have brought me.
The Devils dominated a Penguins team that by every measure offensively is a far more talented team. Cory Schneider posted his first shutout of the season and honestly with how great he has been playing it seems almost criminal that it took this long. Mike Cammalleri had a wide open net and decided to slide it five hole in what has to be cockiest move a player wearing red and black has made since some backstabbing Russian got homesick. Bobby Farnham scored a goal that defied geometry and now has any many goals this season as SIDNEY FUCKING CROSBY. The Devils missed multi-breakways and still scored FOUR goals. Think about the team you have watched over the last two years and let that sink in. Who are these guys? Where did they come from. The world may never know, but one thing is for certain, they are NOT in need of a drastic renovation.
Who did it better?
OR....
Call it recency bias or pro-American prejudice, but I am taking Bobby "Wild Thing" Farnham.
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NOLA- In the second half, the Redskins poured it on, even adding a defensive touchdown when Dashon Goldson returned an interception 35 yards early in the fourth quarter.
The pass from Brees tipped off receiver Marques Colston's hands.Brees, who was being backed up by rookie Garrett Grayson, stayed in the game even as the blowout got worse. At one point in the fourth quarter, he appeared to wave off the punt team and the Saints failed on a fourth-and-4 deep in their own territory. Let me be clear, it's not that I agree with one side over the other in this situation. Down by more than 30 in a game that your team has shown no interest in showing up to, with an "offensive" line that is living up to it's name, you really don't stand to benefit too much from going for it on 4th down at your own 30 yard line. Still, as a fan you don't want to see your team quit on a comeback, no matter how inevitable. Regardless, that decision had no effect on the outcome of the game, but it very well may have an effect on how we view Sean Payton's standing in the locker room. Do I think Drew Brees and Sean Payton can't overcome a minor disagreement in a game that was well in doubt anyway? Of course not. They are basically conjoined at the hip. Their pinnacle of their careers paralleling one another. Their success predicated on their ability to seemingly share a brain. The most concerning thing about Drew Brees waving off the punt team that Sean Payton sent on is that they weren't on the same page. Saints fans have been present for the highest of highs to the lowest of lows during the Sean Payton and Drew Brees era. We have seen some great teams and some pretty bad teams. However, all throughout those years, the one thing that remained consistent was an unforeseen level of agreeance between head coach and starting quarterback. If that no longer exists then I am not so sure that Sean Payton's oft-discussed potential departure isn't what's best for both parties involved. It seems, according to this article and it's corresponding GIF that Sean Payton, before quickly sending the punt team out, had no idea it was 4th down. That's inexcusable. I don't know if he has lost this team, or he has lost his passion for coaching, but the Sean Payton of years past, much like Drew Brees, never thought a game was out of reach. He was never mentally checked out. I don't believe that it was anything more than Drew Brees' competitive spirit that was responsible for him being outwardly defiant of his coaches orders. I certainly don't think he intentionally showed a lack of respect for the head coach he has always maintained such a great relationship with. I do know that's how it will be seen by the public. That, along with a host of other issues surrounding this team, may just be the fall straw that inevitably breaks up one of the most formidable coach/quarterback combinations in NFL history. It would be easy to turn a blind eye to a play that, all things considered, didn't really matter. However, if it happened to two people that weren't named Sean Payton and Drew Brees on a team that wasn't the New Orleans Saints it would be huge news. So let's not act like that alone makes this insignificant. This team is in complete meltdown mode and it's not just one meaningless, unsuccessful 4th down try that's evidence of that...
It was mere days ago that I said that DeSean Jackson giving Jay Gruden a titty twister was an assertion of dominance and a sign of complete disrespect. If my words were to ring true then I am not even sure how to describe what happened to the New Orleans Saints yesterday. I suppose it's only fair to say that not only did they get titty twistered, but they got wet willied, indian burned, and ball tapped all the way up and down the field for the better part of three hours. The whole nine, and the only reason they didn't get the 10th is because that would mean they picked up a first down, something they rarely did after the first two drives.
Basically the Saints got emasculated. Mostly by a below average Redskins offense, but once they learned that their defense wasn't ready to stop anyone, also by a below average Redskins defense. Through the entirety of Sean Payton's tumultuous, yet successful, tenure in New Orleans that was likely the worst performance we have ever seen from a team he coached. It's not just that they were completely outclassed by a bunch of 'C' students, it's that were submissive in doing so. Even in the most lopsided of defeats the Saints have always shown some sort of fight. Not this time. Many thought the Saints team that got shellacked by the Eagles was one of the past, but it turns out that very well may be who this team is closer to being. A team that can beat mediocre teams, but can get flat out embarrassed by some of the worst the league has to offer. By my estimation that makes them a bad team, and nothing more.
You can blame new faces. You can blame injuries. However, none of those things were being discussed when the Saints were winning. You can't tell me these players aren't capable of winning when they have won before. Two weeks ago Saints fans were talking about playoffs, and now even mentioning the word would send Jim Mora into a cardiac arrest. Bottomline, the Saints were out-coached, as well as outplayed, on both sides of the ball yesterday by a team whose calling card isn't exactly it's talent level either. That's two weeks in a row you can say they lost to a team that would likely trade rosters with them if given the opportunity. That's not just a personnel issue. It's not just a coaching issue. It's an organizational issue. Losing to Kirk Cousins by 33 points means that change, and not of the small variety, is imminent. With the bye week upon us it seems like nothing less than a certainty that Rob Ryan is fired. However, you can't help but wonder if yesterday's lack of effort could signal the need for something more...
Either way, you can say sayonara to this season...
The Guardian- Missouri football coach Gary Pinkel, who supported his African American players’ boycott of team activities backing campus protesters, said Friday that he has been battling non-Hodgkin lymphoma and will resign at the end of the season. Pinkel, 63, was diagnosed with the form of blood cancer in May and received treatments through the spring, but never made his illness public until the university announced his resignation on Friday. Missouri will play BYU in Kansas City on Saturday night in a game that had already taken on immense significance given his players’ boycott that helped force the resignation of University president Tim Wolfe. The players announced their boycott on Twitter last Saturday night, saying they would not practice or play until student Jonathan Butler ended a week-long hunger strike. Butler was demanding that Wolfe step down due to a lack of action on a series of racial incidents on campus. The next day, Pinkel tweeted a photo of nearly the entire team and coaching staff linking arms and said the whole program backed the boycott. Wolfe resigned on Monday and campus chancellor R Bowen Loftin was replaced later in the week. Pinkel has become a polarizing figure in Missouri this week. Many graduates have criticized him for supporting his players, saying he threw the campus into chaos. He was later scored by the protesters after he told a Kansas City sports radio station that he should not have included a reference to their protest in his tweet. Pinkel said he had already made the decision to step down on 27, October the day after undergoing a PET scan. First and foremost, all good thoughts and prayers go out to Gary Pinkel. I can't even imagine dealing with all the normal crap that comes with coaching college football, plus your entire team boycotting a game due to racism, all while privately battling cancer. You can say whatever you want about his actions in the wake of a student protest, but the guy is one tough son of a bitch. His livelihood is the most important thing, and I think I speak for everyone when I say we are all praying for his prolonged health. With all of that said, he completely mismanaged his cancer diagnosis. I'm not say you should ever "use" your cancer to your benefit, but there are certain situations where it is totally justified. If he was going to make his prognosis public anyway, then why not do it two weeks earlier and save himself a headache of epic proportions? The way I look at it is this, Gary Pinkel basically watched a lit cigarette get dropped in the woods and turn into a full blown forest fire while he had a water bottle in his hand the whole time. He essentially watched his football team go all-in and take the whole pot, and didn't realize he had the Ace Of Spades in his back pocket until he took his pants out of wash the following week. If Gary Pinkel let his resignation become news 10 days earlier the man that hired him likely still has his job right now. Above all else, the football team and their potential refusal to play in a game is what got the President of Missouri fired. If that very same football team was dealing with terrible news about their Head Coach's health then Student 1950 would have had a lot less people concerned, I'll tell you that much. At the very least they would have put their mutiny on the back burner until the end of the season. Cancer always trumps racism, everyone knows that. You can't fight a battle on two fronts. You have to conquer one at a time. Why not conquer the one that is actually winnable? Gary Pinkel's cancer could potentially be curable, unfortunately racism at the University of Missouri is not, no matter who is in charge. If you're a football player at Mizzou, how could you possibly rationalize showing support for some rich kid who is intentionally starving himself because of a poop swastika over your coach that just got diagnosed with the one of the most debilitating diseases known to man? You can't. I applaud Pinkel's refusal to make it about himself during such a volatile time, but with the added stress he was undoubtedly experiencing from circumstances he had nothing to do with, maybe he should have. He might have saved a couple of jobs in the process. The guy had to support his players, and in turn not defend his President, because he was in between a rock and a hard place, but the sympathy one gets from fighting cancer can move mountains. In this case, I think the never-ending battle against racism could have waited. After all, a man's health was at risk. I'm not going to say it, but I will let Larry David do it for me. A "non-Hodgkins lymphoma" kinda sounds like... Some College Athletes Are Putting Tape Over The Nike Logos On Their Shoes To Protest Sweatshops11/13/2015 Yahoo- On Tuesday, a group of unidentified students at Georgetown University appeared on campus with white tape covering the Nike logos on their shoes. Their mission: to take a stand against Nike's questionable labor practices abroad.
Because of the university's partnership with Nike, student athletes are commonly seen sporting Nike and Jordan Brand gear during games. However, social activist Jim Keady, who advocates for the improvement of sweatshop working conditions, has been holding discussions on campus regarding the treatment of workers at Nike's sweatshops abroad. In a student talk held Monday titled "Behind the Swoosh: Sweatshops and Social Justice," Keady discussed the improper labor practices at Nike sweatshops. According to The Georgetown Voice, he discussed how workers at the factories make only $1.25 per day and described "working and living conditions in these factories as cramped and dirty." You know, we have gotten so wrapped up in these ridiculous racially motivated protests taking place at colleges all over the country that we are missing out on true acts of heroism. Covering up the Nike swoosh. That's how take a stab at the injustices plaguing this world we live in. I can't think of a better way to fight for the youth of third world countries than by wearing the shoes that they make then putting masking tape over the logo. That's how you hit a multi-billion dollar brand wear it hurts...the eyeballs. Give them a sight they can't bear to see. Their product besmirched by a sticky adhesive cloth. That's sure to up the daily wage of sweatshop workers by at least a dime. If that won't do it then nothing will, because you surely can't expect kids to stop wearing them altogether. Not only because Georgetown is contractually obligated to make sure they wear them, but because those cheaply made sneakers are basically pillows for your feet. They might be made by poorly compensated pre-teens, but you would swear they are the work of angels. You can't full on boycott Nike until they start making a shittier product. That's actually the real problem here. These workers are doing way too good of a job for $1.25 a day. That's probably because they are being threatened with an untimely death if they don't, but the fact still remains. A crappy product = less sales = more efficient protests = raised wages. Everyone knows when you don't feel appreciated at work you have to halfass the fuck out of your job until they inevitably give in and pay you more money. That's a concept as old as the timecard itself. You either start attaching the soles with Elmer's glue, or you depend on a couple college kids that are just trying to make themselves feel less guilty about how privileged they are through the use of a empty gesture. Your choice I guess. ABC13- A 9-year-old boy is being threatened with sexual harassment charges for sending love notes to his 4th grade crush.
School officials say the boy got in trouble because he sent multiple love letters to the girl, ABC affiliate WFTS-TV reports. One note talked about how the girls' eyes "sparkled like diamonds" while others had hearts drawn on them. The boy's mother says other students started teasing her son, claiming he wanted to see the little girl naked. That's when school officials called him to the principal's office. "That's when the principal proceeded to tell me that it wasn't appropriate that he was writing the note and that if he writes another note, they are going to file sexual harassment charges on my 9-year-old," the mother told WFTS-TV. Just another instance of nice guys finishing last. Now usually nice guys don't end up with sexual harassment charges, especially when they are only 9 years old, but hey, that's the America we live in. The biggest crime in all this wasn't an actual crime at all. The real crime is that this kid was going about it all wrong. Before the principal stepped in this kid had a first class ticket to the friend zone. That's not how you get 9 year old girls to like you. The way to get a 9 year old girl to like you isn't through written word, it's through physical abuse. You have to throw a rock at her, or push her into the dirt. I know the PC police don't want to hear it, but that's the truth of the matter. Girls like assholes, whether they are 9 years old or 30 years old. Since 9 year old boys haven't yet developed the ability to give backhanded compliments they have to give backhanded slaps to the arm. I will give the school officials this, there is something off about this kid. I don't know what it is, and I certainly don't think he needs to catch charges, but 9 year olds shouldn't willingly sit down and write full on descriptive paragraphs about anything, never mind the girls they fawn over. They should be calling them "stupid" and sticking their tongue out at them. There is nothing remotely sexual about this story, because the kid writing glittery notes has no chance of getting laid by this girl at any point throughout his middle school or high school career. She's going to be banging the kid that spent his formative years calling her ugly. Poor kid needs to stop. Not because his notes are inappropriate, but because they are having the the exact opposite of the desired effect.
Yahoo- “It’s a different game today,” Curry told Spears. “I don’t know many shots he got up but he didn’t have a three-point line. A hundred? That would be tough. If I shot like I did in New Orleans and played full 48, maybe got 20 more shots up, I might [have] got 75-ish. That’s shooting the ball really well, too. A hundred, probably not.”
Goddamn it, do you see what we've done? We have created a monster. Did you hear this quote? Listen closely. Those are the words of a man on a mission. Words that would not have been uttered from that very same mouth 52 weeks ago. Last year Steph Curry was just happy to have an invite to the party. This year he's throwing the party and dancing on motherfuckin' tables in the middle of it. Last year Steph was walking up to buffet line asking nicely for another serving. This year he is piling 5 steaks on his plate at once, and knocking everyone else's over on the way back to his seat. "Casually talking about scoring 75 points in a game Steph Curry" is a Steph Curry we have never seen before. He's no longer like "golly gee, sure would be nice to win". Now he's like "it's not worth winning if you can't win big". My God, a couple people say the Warriors had a lucky road to the Championship and all the sudden the kid goes on a war path. It's as if 'NBA Live' is reality and Steph Curry has the controller. Dude just went in and boosted all his attributes by 10 points. As a Clippers fan, it's downright scary. Besides Swaggy P, the only players who would ever publicly proclaim that they can score 75 points in game are players that really could score 75 points in a game. I think this summer a lot of people questioned whether or not Steph Curry had the killer instinct of a Kobe Bryant or a Michael Jordan. Whether he had the drive to turn the Golden State Warriors into an all time great team. He is going out of his way to answer those questions loud and clear. Call it what you want. Confidence? Definitely. Cockiness? Maybe. Whatever it is, it lends itself to greatness. Fire&Ice
Cory Schneider “I think if you ask any goalie, if we have to choose one, I'm sure they'd rather the equipment be smaller rather than the net be bigger,” Schneider told The Record. Henrik Lundqvist “Right now, I feel like the size of the equipment fits the body pretty good, so if they need to make a change, the net is one way to go,” Lundqvist said. Shocker of the century. The Stay-Puft marshmallow man doesn't want to reduce the size of the goalie equipment. King Henrik can't possibly envision himself being effective while wearing some Queen-sized mattresses on his legs. You know the reasoning as well as I do. Lack of confidence. If they decide to increase the size of the nets then Henry can just blame the nets. If he starts giving up a ton of goals with less padding then that GAA is a complete reflection of his actual ability between the pipes. What's wrong Henrik, you've been reducing the width of your ties for years, don't want to stay consistent with your equipment? Too afraid that pucks won't magically hit you if you are wearing moderately sized padding. Big old Swedish meatball is concerned he might actually have to react to a shot? Fucking disingenuous asshole is going to come over here and completely compromise the integrity of our North American sport because his equipment "fits his body pretty good"? I have seen you in a slim fitting suit Henrik, that equipment doesn't fit that all that well. If Henrik's equipment fits him good, then those big ass sumo suits fit me pretty good. Maybe I can throw one of those on and get a tryout with the Flyers. God forbid someone depends on their hand-eye coordination to play the sport at the highest level. Meanwhile, the best goalie in the tri-state doesn't even need goalie equipment. With less restrictions he'll really be able to flash his true reflexes.That's the spirit Cory! Tape some pillows on his legs and give him a first baseman's mitt and he'll probably win the fucking Vezina. Give that ginger some soccer shin guards and a padded Under Armour shirt and he'll rob shooters and steal souls with the best of them. Equipment is overrated, it's all about talent. Talent that is oozing through those beautiful, fair-skinned pores. Henrik Lundqvist just wants to play in front of a soccer net so he has more excuses. He's been leaning too hard on that "wahhhhh, my team can't score in the playoffs" one for years. Cory Schneider has been playing behind the worst offense in the history of the hockey for two years now and you don't see him complaining. That's because he's a physical specimen the likes of which Sweden has never seen. Of course Cory Schneider wants to bare it all. It will give him a chance to show off his athletic prowess. Decrease the pad size and the NHL gains an All-World goaltender. Increase the net size and the NHL gains one whiney, metrosexual Swede. Your move Bettman. Do it for America.
YardBarker- “As many as 8 percent of men and 0.5 percent of women with Northern European ancestry have the common form of red-green color blindness.
“Men are much more likely to be colorblind than women because the genes responsible for the most common, inherited color blindness are on the X chromosome. Males only have one X chromosome, while females have two X chromosomes. In females, a functional gene on only one of the X chromosomes is enough to compensate for the loss on the other. This kind of inheritance pattern is called X-linked, and primarily affects males. Inherited color blindness can be present at birth, begin in childhood, or not appear until the adult years.” This may come off as insensitive (this is going to come off as insensitive), but too fucking bad. Know what I care about more than the viewing experience of colorblind people? Super awesome football jerseys. They are exponentially more important to me than the vast minority of people that couldn't tell the difference between two bad teams. Shit, the only good thing about the game last night was the jerseys, so if you couldn't see them then there was no reason to watch anyway. I promise all you colorblind people out there, you didn't miss anything that you haven't already been missing for years. Even if you are a Jets or Bills fan that game was probably better off unseen. I am not trying to be mean. I know color blindness if a handicap, but isn't that kind of the point? I'm sorry you were born with a condition, but if my friend breaks his leg I am not going to be walking around on crutches too. When you have a handicap there is going to be some shit that is going to be more inconvenient to you than others. If your biggest inconvenience is the inability to watch a Jets/Bills Thursday night game in the middle of November then you are doing pretty well for yourselves. I would go out on a limb and call it one of the benefits of your condition. Can't get mad at the NFL for putting a red team against a green team. What's next? We have to change the Christmas colors to purple and orange? That doesn't seem very fair to us non-colorblind folks, now does it? Quit your bitching, because when I first turned the game on I was confused too. I thought I was watching the old school Patriots versus the old school Eagles, so maybe it's not all sunshine and rainbows for the other 92% of us either. BES Report- After nine weeks, the BES is still holding steady at 64.4 percent accuracy in predicting straight-up game outcomes. The record now stands at 65-36 (.644) after a 10-4 showing in Week 9.
This week’s rankings unveil the Bengals (8-0) as the new No. 1 team in the BES. This ends a five-week reign by the Patriots (8-0) who previously held the position since Week 4. The Bengals were already closing in on the Patriots in our Week 8 rankings. A dominant divisional victory over the Browns (2-7) in Week 9 gave them the momentum needed to finally seize the top spot. Saints quarterback Drew Brees leads the No.2-ranked BES Offense. Also in the Top-5 we find a major head-scratcher with the Saints (4-5) at No. 4. The BES seems influenced by the Saints recent body of work where they’ve compiled a 4-2 record in their last six games. That stretch includes with pivotal wins over the Falcons (6-3), Giants (5-4) and Colts (4-5), all of whom ranked higher than the Saints at the time. BES! BES! I'm all in baby. I don't even know what it stands for, but I am sold. I have always said that the worst thing that happened to football was a playoff system. Can't believe college football determines a National Champion by their performance on the field. They need to go back to plugging a bunch of crap into a computer and seeing what pops out. That's the real way to determine who's the best. Did you hear all the controversy when the committee released the first set of playoff rankings? People were up in arms! That would never happen with something like the BES. Could you imagine what a tragedy it would be if the undefeated 2004 Auburn Tigers had made it into the National Championship game off their resume alone? It would have been the single biggest injustice in sports history. That's why the NFL needs to adopt the BES as soon as possible, and I am not just saying that because the Saints, at 4-5, are somehow the best non-undefeated team in the league. Do I know how these rankings were determined? Of course not, but you can bet your first born I am not going to go back and check. Why would I risk finding some fatal flaw in the formula? The Saints are the 4th best team in the NFL, and thus, at the very least, in the virtual NFC championship game. I don't even know how someone could argue that. It's math guys. You think you're smarter than a computer? Men lie, women lie, numbers don't. Check the scoreboard bitches, 3.03. Bet the Broncos didn't think they would get leapfrogged by a team with 4 more losses, did they? Oh well, that's just the unpredictable nature of sports at work I guess. The BES is 64.4% accurate. Did you know Tom Brady's completion percentage this year is only 68%, Saying you don't trust the BES is pretty much like saying you don't trust Tom Brady and who would EVER say that? BSO- Johnson and Griner connected at a basketball camp in Las Vegas in 2013. Johnson noticed that Griner — drafted first overall that year by the Phoenix Mercury — found excuses to hang around her. One night, when a group of friends went to see Cirque du Soleil, Griner made her move, sitting next to Johnson and putting her arm around her.
Ordinarily, Johnson would have brushed off such a move from a woman, she says, but on this night, she went with it. With the buzz from a round of tall cocktails and the acrobats flying in the dark, the evening felt “pretty romantic,” she says. “I wasn’t thinking about her being a female. She was just somebody who was showing me a really, really good time.” More drinks flowed after the show, and Griner escorted Johnson to her hotel room in the wee hours. In the room, things got interesting. “It was really awkward because what do you do when you’ve never been in this situation with a female before?” Johnson says. Griner, deep-voiced with dreadlocks and size-17 feet to anchor her lofty frame, put Johnson at ease with her swagger. “We finally laid down and were about to go to sleep. Of course, there was a little bit more that happened,” Johnson says. “As I was getting more and more comfortable, more and more was happening.” Some people wanted to define her. “Not a lot of people understand it. They wanted me to be a lesbian who converted from being straight,” she says. “It just doesn’t work for me like that.” She remains straight, she says. She simply fell for an individual. “I’ve had men that needed to step up more as a man than Brittney,” she says. “I was set.” What's the best part about sex, or relationships for matter? Come on, you know this answer. Starts with a 'C', rhymes with 'mace'. There ya go! Now, for gay people, whether male or female, the uncertainty that comes with that chase is far less mystifying. Why is that? Well, I'm not exactly a psychologist on all things LGBT, but it's pretty much a fact that men understand men better than women, and women understand women better than men. For that reason, there is a lot less guessing when it comes homosexual relations. I'm not saying every homosexual wants the same thing. I am saying that a gay man can see through another gay man's bullshit better than a woman could. A lesbian can understand the clusterfuck of emotions going through another lesbian's head better than a man could. I would think that would take a large majority of the unpredictability out of it. Sex with a person that you're on the same wavelength with being easier to obtain seems pretty awesome to us straight folks. Shit, if I found dick even moderately enticing I would become gay in a nanosecond. Pretty sure the swipe:sex ratio on 'Grindr' is higher than the average human beings body temperature. Ever see a gay couple fight? Exactly, neither have I. It's like they don't even live in the same fucking world as us. Always smiling, and happy, and dancing and shit. Being gay is like society's prescription drug. Except for one small problem. Making the act of sex easier eliminates the exhilaration of the chase. So, as a homosexual, what do you do to achieve that very same exhilaration? You start fucking straight people, DUH! Sure, the conversion rate might be lower, but it appears that Griner's game isn't just good on the court. This sounds hypocritical because as a straight man the last thing I want is to be hit on by a guy, but if I were gay I would only hit on straight dudes until last call. Imagine how awesome it would feel to change someone's sexual orientation, even if it was just for a night. That's how you keep your sex life exciting. Gay people will always have other gay people to use as a backup plan, but getting a heterosexual male, or female, in the sac is like an 8 seed winning the NBA championship, and everyone wants to play the underdog. Yahoo- According to WFAA's Mike Leslie, Bryant was upset at ESPN columnist Jean-Jacques Taylor along with some other reporters. Leslie said the altercation lasted about 15 minutes, and Bryant was upset at what some of the media members had written and tweeted.
Several other Dallas media members tweeted broad statements such as "Dez is unhappy," but didn't dive into what actually happened. It wasn't until after news broke that Bryant blew up on the media that the Cowboys wideout told his side of the story. "Yea I blew up on the media but report why I blew up on y'all," he tweeted. "Saying I don't give f— about me and calling players n—s is not professional. If you going to tell something tell the whole thing...I'm done with the situation... I hope everyone is having a great day." According to Leslie, Bryant is accusing Taylor, who is African-American, of calling Cowboys receiver Devin Street the n-word. Leslie also says Street came to Bryant's defense at one point during the altercation and said that "escalated the matter further." Pray for the white beat reporters. Yeah, I know. It sounds crazy, but for once it is the white people that are deserving of our thoughts and prayers. Why you ask? Well, I don't know if someone used the 'N word' in the Cowboys locker room, but I do know that there will be people that assume that someone did. Those people certainly aren't going to jump to the conclusion that that someone was the black reporter. You know when you were a kid and something got broken around the house? Your parents would come home and be like "who broke the flower pot?". Now usually that answer would be you, but on the one odd occasion that it wasn't how hard was it to explain to your parents that it was your sister that did it? That's what a black journalist using the 'N word' in an NFL locker room is like. It's like the one time your sister broke the flower pot. Now imagine if "your parents" were an uneducated angry mob of people that were dying for a good reason to get outraged. If I were a white writer for the Dallas Cowboys I would immediately hop on whatever publication I wrote for and plead my innocence in an editorial that was entitled, in bold, 'It Wasn't Me'. Look at how pissed Dez Bryant is in the video. Why would we assume it was the black dude he's mad at for using the racial slur? I know it's not okay for anyone to use that word, and especially not the '-er' version, but society has pretty much programmed us to believe it is not a big deal when it is a "black on black crime". When I first read about this story I was shocked until I reached the part that said "and the reporter was African American", and then I was like "psssh whatever, I'm going to write about how this sucks for white people". Again, that's a terrible reaction to have, and a professional that is being given access to athletes should never disrespect them. Still, I just don't find myself offended when the 'n word' is exchanged between black people, even if it is done in a derogatory way. I guess that's the collateral damage of rappers making MILLIONS off a genre of music that glamorizes a form of that word.
Let's go back to October 27th. The Devils were riding a 4 game winning streak with a bad Columbus team coming to town. The game started off about as good as a scoreless game could start out. The Devils ran the Blue Jackets up and down the ice seemingly at will. But a funny thing happened in that game. It was halfway through the third period and the game was still knotted at zero. It was only then that Columbus potted three goals in what seemed like 12 seconds, thus putting an end to the unlikeliest of streaks. I'm not going to lie. That loss hurt. Not just because it was a loss to a bad team. After all, the Devils are supposed to be a bad team too. It hurt because it brought the fans back to dark, dark place. It brought us back to the last few years of Pete Deboer. It brought us back to a time when the Devils would come out dominant, fail to score, and inevitable lose in heartbreaking fashion. What we have learned since then it that this is not the same team. Sure, they lost a game they should have won, but that can happen to anyone, and if you need evidence of that then look no further than last night's game against the Stanley Cup Champions. The Devils might lose a game or two that they shouldn't, but this isn't a team that's going to make a habit of that. This is a team that is going to win just as many that they should lose.
I don't even know how to describe this team. They are certainly resilient. Untimely goals and bad penalties would have broken the back of Devils teams of years past. This team has proven that there is no situation that is too overwhelming for them. Undeserved 5 minute majors? No sweat. Giving up a late game tying goal against a vastly superior team? Brush it right off the shoulder. When the Blackhawks tied it up last and immediately went on the powerplay there weren't too many fans thinking they were going to pull out a victory, never mind a regulation victory. An opportunistic Devils team is not something we are accustomed to seeing. Two goals on five shots in the second? A late powerplay goal to ice the game in the third? Sure, Corey Crawford wasn't exactly at the top of his game, but yet again this team proved us wrong, and I hope to God they don't stop now.
It is almost criminal how little I have written about Cory Schneider this year, and there is a reason for that. He's too consistent. He never stands out as THE reason the Devils won a game, because he's the SOLE reason that they have a chance at winning every game. He makes the tough saves look easy, and the easy saves look borderline snooze worthy. Last night was one of those games where the Devils didn't stand a goddamn chance unless that beautiful, unshakeable ginger was between the pipes. You see him across from someone like Corey Crawford, a two time Stanley Cup winner, and you really get an appreciation for how consistently great Cory Schneider has been. He's one of the few goalies in this league that can give up the rare bad goal, and not have it effect his confidence in the least. I can't say I have seen him play a single bad game this year, and that's why his truly remarkable efforts tend to go unnoticed. Last night they did not, because if anyone else was in net for Devils they probably lose by at least 3 goals. So Cory, I apologize. Just know that your continued excellence is the only reason that you don't get mentioned enough.
I think the most exciting part about this team is that we really don't know what this team is yet. It feels like every night there is a new player making a significant contribution. Last night that player was Sergei Kalinin, a guy that has played only 16 games on North American ice, but has been looking better shift by shift. In a way his progression says a lot about this team, because while they have been pulling wins directly out of their ass as of late, they are only going to get better the more the play with one another.
Current Mood:
Some will say this is a good thing. They'll say that it shows that Head Coach Jay Gruden and enigmatic wide receiver DeSean Jackson are actually friends. They would be right about the latter, and therein lies the problem. You shouldn't be friends with your coach. You can be FRIENDLY with your coach, however friendship requires a certain level of equality. An equality that shouldn't exist between one oft-injured player and the man that is responsible for 53 different players and a slew of other coaches. Furthermore, not only are Jay Gruden and DeSean Jackson friends, but they are the worst kind of friends. The only type of friend that gives another friend a titty twister is one that is trying to establish dominance in the relationship. It's never the less popular kid in middle school that's giving his more popular friend a titty twister. I am pretty sure that's why the presence of the titty twister fades with age. Not because it stops being funny, but because as we get older we only hang out with people we consider our peers. If you are out of college you shouldn't look at your friends as if you better than them, and thus you shouldn't be giving them titty twisters. All this tells me is that Desean Jackson, a guy that has spent a majority of the season on the shelf, thinks he's more important than Jay Gruden. A titty twister is basically one step below a wet willy, and you are required to punch someone that gives you a wet willy. I think it's safe to say that at no point in time should your Head Coach be one step away from punching your wide receiver.
Jay Gruden has completely botched the whole RG3 situation. He's spent the better part of two years starting garbage quarterbacks like Kirk Cousins and Colt McCoy. His defense stinks. His offense stinks. The entire team is puttering along as a bad team in a bad division. While all of those things may be fireable offenses, nothing speaks to the catastrophic state of the franchise like having a Head Coach that the players like, but clearly don't respect. You can't convince me that's not the situation at hand when you have a grown man giving his superior a titty twister on a Thursday morning. The fact that this idea even floated around in the brain of DeSean Jackson says all you need to know about this team, and I cant wait for the Saints to play them on Sunday. GQ Magazine Just Lost All It's Credibility By Naming This Vegan Slop The 'World's Best Burger'11/12/2015 Metro- A burger in New York City has just been named the best in the world – and it doesn’t even contain any meat.
We know. It’s mindblowing. The famous $6 (£4) Superiority Burger, which has a fully vegan patty, has just been named the best the world has to offer by GQ magazine. Wasn't it just last week that the whole world was discussing whether or not a hot dog was a sandwich? The argument for it being that it is meat between bread, and the argument against it, the correct argument, being that a hot dog is simply a hot dog. Well, how come no one talks about how the use of the word "burger" gets frivolously tossed about? We have turkey burgers, chicken burgers, salmon burgers, tofu burgers, vegan burgers, yet none of them are really burgers at all. Exactly what definition of "burger" are we working under, because it sounds looser than Kim Kardashian's...uhh...maternity clothing. If everything is a burger, what the fuck is a sandwich? We have people calling a hot dog a sandwich, but a piece of chicken between two slices of bread is a burger, and NOT a sandwich? Why is a patty made out of anything on a round roll a burger? I have to say, I completely disagree with that premise. Burgers consist of ground beef, and if you have made a conscious decision to stop eating meat then congratulations on your healthy lifestyle, but fuck you, you don't get to call your sandwich a burger. People have been raving about the taste and texture of the chunky nutty burger but no one knows exactly what’s in it – just that no cows were harmed in its making. Chunky? Nutty? Excuse me while I force my breakfast back down. No consistency? A bunch of nuts and berries jammed together with some healthy paste that's sure to run-through my body faster than the 6 beers I am going to need to keep it down? Never mind the fact that it looks like some animal's fecal matter. Honestly, if it was named 'the deer shit burger' I wouldn't even question it. That's the exact opposite of what a burger should be. This is just a classic vegan move. Yet another effort for the meat hating public to convince us that we are living wrong. It's not enough that they have sworn off red meat, they can't sleep until everyone has sworn off red meat. Their stupid plant burger can't just be good, it has to be THE BEST. Well I, for one, am offended. Not just because someone had the gall to call a bunch of shit that you find laying around your backyard a burger, but because this publication is misleading their meat loving public. There simply isn't anything more un-American than that. Anyone That Is Upset By J.T. Barrett Pulling The 'Star Card' During His DUI Arrest Is A Hypocrite11/12/2015
TMZ- During the stop, the officer says he could smell booze on Barrett's breath -- though J.T. insists he had NOTHING to drink that night.
Barrett is given several field sobriety tests -- and does fairly well -- but the cop is not convinced he's 100% sober and arrests him. That's when Barrett plays the "don't you know who I am?" card ... saying, "I'm the quarterback of Ohio State ... officer, there's nothing you can do?" The officer responds, "My intention is to not take you to jail. That's about the best I can do for you." Fine, I'll say it. I support J.T. Barrett, and you should too. No, we shouldn't support him getting behind the wheel of a car after partaking in the consumption of an undivulged amount of alcohol. Drinking and driving is indefensible, and while most of us have done it to varying degrees it's something that we all wish we hadn't. What we should support, however, is J.T. Barrett's right to use everything in his power to get out of the ticket, and arrest, that he so rightfully deserved. You want to tell me it's wrong of him to try to use his status as the starting quarterback of THEE Ohio State Buckeyes to his advantage? Okay, that's fine, but first hand over all your PBA cards. Ladies, take back all those crocodile tears that you have used to save yourself a fairly substantial fine. Guys, stop name dropping every police officer from the far extended branches of our family tree. We all, when put between a rock and a hard place, look for the easiest way out. If you are mad at J.T. Barrett for pulling the 'star card', then all you are really mad at is yourself for not being famous enough to do the same. I'll throw 6 shades of shit at the wall to get out of a parking ticket while it's being written, I can't even imagine how deep in the crock I would go to try to avoid a DUI. As long as we are talking about flinging feces then there is no bigger, wetter turd to toss than "I play quarterback for the #1 college football team in the country". If that doesn't stick, nothing will. You should be upset with J.T. Barrett for endangering the lives of others, but you shouldn't be upset with him because his 'Get Out Of Jail Free' card is exponentially more valuable than yours. Once Barrett sits in the backseat of the cruiser, he begins to scream obscenities to himself ... "F**K!!! F**K!!!" Maybe it wasn't in the back of a squad car, but we have all had this moment. Yahoo- Retired boxer and undefeated champion Floyd Mayweather Jr. took a shot at the UFC women's bantamweight champion, as she will become the first MMA fighter to grace the cover of "The Bible of Boxing" in its January issue.
"Well, you know, congratulations, but you know the sport is starting to look bad when a female fighter from a whole other sport is on the cover of a boxing book," Mayweather told FightHype. "You gotta realize this: We all know Oscar De La Hoya owns the Ring Magazine. That shows you, he has no fighters but Canelo. Basically, it’s like he’s trying to steal her from (UFC president) Dana White. Richard Shaefer, he built Golden Boy from the ground up, helped them make tons and tons of money, and what did this guy do?" I am going to need everyone to sit down, and if you're the excitable type maybe you should buckle your seatbelt. I am about to hit you with a little something that you probably thought you'd never hear. Floyd Mayweather is right. No, he's not like "oh wow, what he is saying isn't the rambling of a complete moron" right, he's like "100% correct" right. Boxing is trending downwards in popularity, and Ronda Rousey being on the cover of THEIR reputable magazine doesn't give it much hope for the future. His comment has nothing to do with Ronda Rousey being a female. It has nothing to do with her being someone that is constantly instigating him into responding to her. It has everything to do with a UFC fighter being on the cover of a boxing magazine. The decision on who should grace the cover of a publication comes down to one thing, and one thing only, who is going to sell that publication? It should be absolutely frightening for boxing fans that the answer to that question is a person that is firmly entrenched in a completely different profession. People will say this is just another round of verbal jousting between Ronda Rousey and Floyd Mayweather, but the truth is that Floyd Mayweather doesn't give one single fuck about Ronda Rousey. Every time he has uttered her name it has been provoked by something she had said previously. The only time you can even claim he took the first shot is when he said "I don't even know who he is", but this is Money Mayweather we are talking about. I firmly believe that Floyd Mayweather is disconnected enough from reality for that to have been a completely sincere answer at the time. This may sound like I am giving one of the most obnoxious assholes in sports the benefit of the doubt, but I am really not. All I am trying to say is that Mayweather doesn't care about anyone, never mind someone that can't help him financially. He got his nickname for a reason, and it's because all he cares about is his bottomline. Ronda Rousey being on the cover of a magazine, aptly titled after an arena she has never even fought in, is bad for that bottomline. That is the ONLY reason he said something, and what he said, for once, is the absolute truth.
Apple Employee: ‘These guys are just a bit worried about your presence in our store. They’re just a bit worried you might steal something.’
Random black students: ‘Why would we steal something?’ Apple Employee: ‘Guys, end of discussion. I need to ask you to leave our store.’ Isn't honesty the best policy? Listen, this guy is a total dickhead, and he deserves to be criticized all over the internet and eventually fired due to the uncanny amount of backlash Apple receives. There is no doubt about that. However, can we at least applaud him for being true to himself? He thinks that all black people are thieves, and while that line of thinking is only more fucked up than it is false, at least it is out in the open. These kids can go home to their parents and say "mom, dad, we were the victims of discrimination today". With the amount of people getting outraged over things that may or may not be predicated on race, we should all consider this one a win. There is no debate to be had here, because...
I just think that if I were a black person I would appreciate this approach more than having someone passive aggressively follow me around a store. You know what I am saying? It's like when a girl asks you the "what are we?" question. First you pussyfoot around it until you have no choice but to blurt out the cold, hard truth. Wouldn't it be easier if you just ripped the band-aid off to start instead of pulling it one body hair at a time? Get rid of all that uncertainty and build up. That's what this guy did. He basically said "fuck it, I think black people steal" in the nicest way possible. He's wrong, but he's straight forward, and there is something to be said for that. People now-a-days are too scared to say how they feel. While this guys feelings don't have a place in 2015, at least they aren't creepily tiptoeing behind some black kids in an Apple store wearing a skeptical glare and an awkward smile.
Let Me Give You A Little Insight On The Pictures From Johnny Football's Visit Back To Texas A&M11/12/2015
Ready? I am about to provide a little clarity on how Johnny Football's weekend back at Texas A&M went, and I am pretty confident you can take this as gospel. See all the girl's he's pictured with that are undoubtedly not his girlfriend? You can assume he had like super awesome sex with every last one of them. See the silly smirk across his face while the one girl kisses his cheek, or the ridiculous plastic chain around his neck? You can assume that stint at rehab, at least for one weekend, was a thing of the past. There's no picture of his sleeping arrangements, but you can assume that he either woke up in a stranger's bed or on a buddies couch with a massive hangover, and an undying thirst for a boozy brunch. No, I wasn't there, nor do I have any connections to Johnny Manziel. I do, however, know that when you go back to college you are basically in college again. For me that means a really ugly Monday morning, but for Johnny Manziel that means about 1,000 different stories revolving around alcohol, pussy, and possible drug use. I am not saying that he can't shake the party boy image that has haunted him throughout his relatively short NFL career, though I do have my doubts. I am saying that you can't cage a tiger then throw him back into the wild and not expect him to rely on his natural instincts. I am not sure what Johnny Manziel's instincts are, but much like every other college student, Johnny Football's instincts are to drink and fuck everything with a campus-wise radius.
Relationship be damned. Did you really think it was going to work out with the 22 year old entitled brat anyway? Johnny Manziel is basically dating the female version of his college self. Let's consider it a blessing that he probably let half the female student body at Texas A&M touch his penis this past weekend. The sooner he is single the better. That crazy broad, that he was arguing with on the side of the road, is like soooooo college that Johnny Football can never really change while he's still with her. Rehab? Come on now, if you didn't realize that was a publicity stunt then ironically you've probably been drinking too much. Plus, visits back to the place where you spent your glory years are like trips to Vegas. That shit stays on campus. I don't care how much he drank this weekend, he would still get a sobriety chip from me. If the Browns, or anyone else for that matter, were so concerned with Johnny Football staying clean, they would have done everything in their power to keep him from returning to the place where he used to get down and dirty. Jonathan Vilma's Comment About Gregg Williams Shouldn't Change How You Feel About 'BountyGate'11/12/2015 Sports Illustrated- Former New Orleans Saints linebacker Jonathan Vilma told SI’s Pro Football Now that St. Louis Rams defensive coordinator Gregg Williams, a former Saints assistant coach, deserves his “dirty” reputation.
Williams served as the defensive coordinator for the Saints from 2009 to 2011, and played a role in the bounty scandal that allegedly paid Saints players bonuses for targeting opponents and knocking them out of games. Vilma played under Williams for those three seasons. “I do think he deserves the reputation and I’m speaking objectively because I played for him for three years,” Vilma said. “And frankly, he’s been in the league for over 20 years. The things that he practices, he coaches and preaches is an old-school mentality.” I resent Jonathan Vilma's comment not because it is untrue. I resent it because it will allow the uninformed to make assumptions in regards to 'BountyGate', the scandal that shook the very foundation of the New Orleans Saints franchise. Just because Gregg Williams is, in fact, a coach that preaches the physical aspects of the game, possibly to an extreme, doesn't mean the punishments for 'BountyGate' were justified. I have never argued over the existence of a pay for performance system in the Saints locker room under Gregg Williams. I would even go as far as saying that I am absolutely positive there was one. What I have argued is that similar systems have been commonplace in the NFL for decades. That doesn't make it right, and I understand the NFL cracking down on it, but the Saints paid an egregious price for something nearly every team in the league was doing. You can say that they were the only ones to get caught, but comparable investigations would have likely turned up consistent findings throughout NFL locker rooms. I have always approached BountyGate through a factual frame of mind. The facts are that the Saints were still in the middle of the pack in terms of personal foul penalties the year in question. They weren't some dirty team that was out there trying to end careers. They simply had more motivation to make plays. Players that make seven figure salaries aren't going to risk their livelihood for some $5,000 pot behind closed doors. That would be like running into oncoming traffic to pick up a nickel. It just doesn't make much sense, and the stats from that season back that up. If you listen to the recordings of Gregg Williams you would probably think he more deserving of being in a prison cell than on an NFL sideline. The "kill the head, and the body will die" comment will stick in everyone's mind because it truly sounds goddamn barbaric. However, I think you would be very surprised to hear what other defensive coordinators say behind closed doors. After all, they are men that are paid to instill an attitude in the most aggressive athletes in the world. Athletes whose job it is to hit other athletes as hard as humanly possibly. An incentive based pool doesn't change the fact that football is a very dangerous game. Gregg Williams style of coaching is fairly antiquated given the fragile state of the NFL and it's increased focus on not getting sued (AKA head injuries), but that doesn't validate the penalties incurred for things that happened in his locker room. Vilma's quote reeks of spite. A spite resulting from Williams throwing Vilma under the bus while in the process of throwing himself at the mercy of the court in order to save his career. I don't blame Vilma for holding that grudge, but you shouldn't let it change how you view one of the most over-the-top suspensions in NFL history. |
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