Taylor Hall Repeatedly Got Scammed By Cam Fowler When They Played Cards During OHL Road Trips11/14/2016
Well, if this doesn't set the "Cam Fowler to New Jersey" wheels in motion than I don't know what will. I'd prefer that the Devils don't give away too many assets in a trade considering how well they have started off the season. However, they could still use a significant upgrade on the left side of the blueline and who better to give it to them then the guy who needs revenge exacted on him by the Devils most important forward. As far as I am concerned, giving Taylor Hall the opportunity to win back some of his pride after getting bamboozled by a former teammate is the least the team could do after all the chips he's brought to their table. I can't emphasize this enough. This has very little to do with me wanting the team to get deeper on the backend. Nope. Just hoping to give Taylor Hall a career's worth of chances to settle the score off the ice. I suppose reuniting the three most accomplished players (Adam Henrique included) from the 2009-2010 Windsor Spitfires could potentially increase the Devils odds on the ice as well, but this is more about restoring the sanctity of road trip gambling. Might take a little bluffing to get the Ducks to make another deal with the Devils after they basically stole Kyle Palmieri for peanuts, but I gotta imagine that the asking price will be driven down once Anaheim learns that they currently employ the most predatory of card sharks. Especially one that can only be held accountable for his deception by the person who is in the process of transforming a team that's only one second pairing defenseman short into a contender. P.S. Probably should find a way to pick up Ryan Ellis too. Strictly for retribution purposes, of course.
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The funny thing is that most outsiders would look at the Devils current four game winning streak and shrug their shoulders. After all, winning out through two home-and-home series against two two subpar teams isn't exactly the greatest of accomplishments. Devils fans, on the other hand, couldn't be more ecstatic. It's not just because they are currently right in the thick of things in their conference and managing to keep up with their peers in the best division in hockey. It's also because they are finally beating who they are supposed to beat with some regularity. Looking at the Devils record the last few seasons you'd think the were getting picked off by any team with a pulse, but it's actually the teams that were dead in the water that were drowning their playoff hopes. I don't know how many times they beat Pittsburgh, Chicago, or Dallas last year, but I'm pretty sure they followed each and every one of those victories up with a devastating loss to the Blue Jackets. Before the past week there's not one true Devils fans that would tell you there's something they feared more than expecting a win due to the caliber of their opponent. If that's a thing of the past then I see no reason why a team that has the goaltending and depth to keep it close with anyone in the league shouldn't be playoff bound. If the results thus far haven't been encouraging enough then the fact that they haven't even played their best hockey absolutely should be. Last year it would have been impossible to imagine a 4 game win streak that didn't directly correlate with a hot streak from Adam Henrique and/or Kyle Palmieri. This year they just rattled one off without significant contributions from either one of them. Taylor Hall has remained the best player on the ice each and every night, but - while he's been productive in other ways - he has been snake-bitten in terms of finding the back of the net. Who would have thought the Devils would be capable of this type of start while still mixing and matching lines to try to find chemistry and relying on the secondary scoring of the bottom 6 and the back end? If you had told me that Damon Severson, Travis Zajac, and P.A. Parenteau were the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th best point producers on the team through 14 games I would have been ready to down the nearest bottle of bleach. Instead I'm only a decent west coast road trip away from showering myself in cheap champagne. This team hasn't even fully clicked yet and they have still put up over 40 shots on multiple nights. They've already given a previously maligned backup goaltender three starts and not one of them has resulted in a regulation loss. They are no longer completely dependent on their powerplay to score goals and it doesn't feel like Cory Schneider has to put on a nightly circus act for them to be successful. There's no shortage of things this team needs to get better at, but their ability to win games while they do so is something that I don't think many Devils fans saw coming so early in the season. Especially if the outcome of said games was going to come down to Andy Greene taking overtime penalty shots....
If nothing else, this serves as quite the reminder that everyone reacts differently to frustration in the heat of the moment. Some of us go with verbal abuse, some of us go with physical harm, and some of us - apparently - go with public shaming. Can't say I have ever seen a grown man resort to a pants-ing in which the intent wasn't solely to get laughs, but - then again - I have never played soccer in Bosnia either. Maybe stripping someone down to their skivvies is the ultimate sign of disrespect in Eastern Europe. Doing so when it will inevitably result in being eye-to-brown eye with an opponent's sweaty taint? Well, that seems like a bit of an odd decision, but hey - sometimes instincts just take over. This dude's instinct was to disrobe the person that had pissed him off, and - as someone that has reacted poorly out of anger - I don't think we should be too critical of him. Your more likely to do something you regret when you're mad. Judging by how quickly it sunk in that there was another man standing directly over him pants-less and he decided to fling said man to the ground? I would say that Bosnian captain Edin Dzeko was feeling all sorts of regret while sitting alone in the locker room replaying the chilling moment that another man's scrotal perspiration slowly driveled down the back of his neck.
Need further clarification that the NFL just doesn't "get it"? Was the increase in penalties and decrease in allowable celebrations not enough for you to realize the league isn't in tune with the interests of the most interactive portion of their fan base? If that's the case then this tweet should really add some perspective for you. Nothing, and I mean nothing, shows just how out of touch they are like a member of their social media team - whose job it is to know what's popular on the internet - walking face first into a 'Deez Nuts' punchline. I think anyone that's still unintentionally setting themselves up to get nutted all over should be sentenced to a 24 hour ban from Twitter, never mind a person that's running an account with over 25 million followers. This wasn't just a case of a player having an unfortunate first name either. Honestly, show me a Cowboys fan that has screamed out "DEZ!" in celebration and pronounced it like it has a million E's and I'll show you someone that's no longer welcome at their local watering hole. Regardless of being a clear lead in for a viral gag that's so old it was originally made popular without the internet, this was just about the laziest caption for a tweet I have ever seen. Not only that, but it was a lazy caption that elicited responses that could potentially compromise the innocence of the kids online that somehow managed to avoid traumatization when they watched Antonio Brown hump air. If you're going to be a league whose success is predicated on organized violence that wants to maintain a "wholesome" image then you simply have to avoid being the butt of testicle jokes that are too easy for social media simpletons not to make. h/t ComeBack The blame game started early. It was just one of those days that felt like a goddamn disaster from the beginning so I had to keep track of every bad mistake, every seemingly ridiculous decision, and every untimely turnover that could ultimately be held responsible for costing the Saints the game. So I took notice when Sean Payton emptied the backfield on back-to-back offensive plays against a suspect run defense and they both resulted in interceptions. I threw my head back in dismay when Drew Brees tried to force those two passes into the tight coverage of the most opportunistic defense in football. That fleeting feeling of impending doom came back with a vengeance when Michael Thomas picked a hell of a time(s) to remind Saints fans that he is - indeed - still a rookie. The special teams unit following up what should have been a miraculous go-ahead touchdown by being ill-prepared for a play that has become common place over the last month quickly drew that ire. The referees being complicit in letting it happen by missing an obvious penalty and not using common sense to decipher a white shoe on a white sideline had me wanting to criticize the officiating. Unfortunately - as much as I would like to - I can't just point my finger at one of those people and say "you're the reason". Hell, I can't even point a whole bunch of fingers at that entire collection of people and say "they're the reason". That loss yesterday was so much more than a hard fought game that the Saints found a creative new way to come out on the wrong side of. It was a depressing reminder of the real reason that this team hasn't been able to get over .500 after improving to 4-4 the last few years, which is that they are simply no better than average. Sure, there's more to be optimistic about this season than in recent seasons. However - at the end of the day - a team that squanders their defense's best performance in a goddamn decade by turning the ball over 4 times and being unable to kick a potential game winning extra point without GIVING UP points just isn't very good. Maybe the piss poor attempt at officiating the game deciding play was a classic display of whistle blowing ineptitude, or maybe it was the football gods way of saying that the Saints did far too much wrong to reign victorious yesterday. If it's the latter then I would have a tough time arguing with them, because good teams find ways to win, and the Saints have done nothing but find head scratching, heartbreaking ways to lose. For that reason, it's increasingly tough to believe that anything has changed. Their season might not be over just yet, but it certainly does bear a striking resemblance to seasons past that were - for all intents and purposes - ended with a catastrophic home loss that sent them streaking the wrong way down the standings. A chance to inch closer to a division lead with an Atlanta loss, and the Saints soil themselves on a PAT? If that doesn't make you feel like deja-voodoo is at work then I don't know what will. I want to say the Saints can bounce back on a short week and put this behind them, but recent history says differently so I think I'll take a wait-and-see approach to the second half of a season that has begun playing out in sickeningly familiar fashion. P.S. Great call stripes...
Tough to hate on the Warriors here. After all, what grown adult male doesn't love attending a completely overdone children's party? Almost have to admire that they chose to go with a similarly cheerful atmosphere to announce to the world that they have officially turned evil. Nothing shows people that you're finally embracing the hate quite like posting an Instagram from an event right in the face of everyone that wasn't invited to it. If anything, the real losers here are the 'Bad Boy' Pistons of the 80's that didn't realize until this very second that they missed a huge opportunity to throw themselves an over indulgent 'Sweet 16' to celebrate how detestable they were. I bet Bill Laimbeer and Rick Mahorn are somewhere stomping their feet because they are too far removed from their playing days to justify renting a bounce house and a cotton candy machine in honor of their legendary antihero mentality. I'll admit, it seems a bit weird to pose in front of a bunch of balloons for your long awaited heel turn, but the temporary tattoo tear drops more than make-up for the lack of intimidation in their decorations. If group selfies posted on social media aren't the type of thing that will let your detractors know that you don't give a fuck what they think then I don't know what is. Watch out NBA fans, the Warriors aren't that thin-skinned team that imploded in last years finals. No sir. They've graduated past that stage of sensitivity. You can tell because only a group of players that just received some sort of diploma would host a shindig like this! P.S. I'm aware that the Warriors are mocking the widespread thought that they would be better off accepting that they are too good not to be unlikable, but I didn't singlehandedly keep the local 'Party City' in business for another month so who really played themselves? A Drunk Dude Hid In A Woman's Ceiling After Breaking Into Her House And Sexually Assaulting Her11/11/2016
DailyMail- An alleged rapist went to extreme lengths to avoid being arrested - by hiding in the ceiling of an apartment.
Officers arrived at a flat in Thailand after neighbours heard two Vietnamese women calling for help when one was assaulted by the man. According to police, suspect Seksan Parinyaseri, 21, had knocked on the women's door and forced his way inside when one stepped outside to speak on her mobile phone around at 3am on Friday morning. He then alleged to have locked the door from inside and assaulted the second woman. When she called for help, Parinyaseri - fearing capture but unable to unlock the door - climbed inside the ceiling through one of the loose panels. What a classic drunk story. Obviously it's not funny that multiple women were sexually assaulted, but if you can't push that out of your head to get a laugh at this absurdly inebriated rapist's escape route than I don't want to know you. If it makes it at all easier for you to find this humorous then just pretend that he was running away from his friend after putting his balls on his forehead while he was sleeping or some shit. Do whatever you need to do to truly appreciate this moron's mind state, because we have all been there before. I mean, if locking yourself in a room and being unable to unlock yourself out of said room isn't an incredibly relatable drunk move then completely giving up and looking for the nearest conspicuous place to "hide"/lay down absolute is. There's just no way this dude wasn't completely passed the fuck out when he started getting poked and prodded with sticks from below. I already know the "shit, I'm still fucking here" look that was ever present on his face as he was startled into consciousness by half a dozen cops who were undoubtedly shaking their head at his stupidity. People will call this guy an idiot for crawling into the ceiling AT the scene of HIS crime, and they absolutely should. I just hope they acknowledge that if they had drank as much as he did then they would have thought it was just as good of an idea*. *the ceiling part, not the assault part LBS- Greg Oden is well aware that his NBA legacy — if you can even call it that — is not a good one. He is more than willing to accept that.
Oden, who is currently taking classes at Ohio State while working as a student assistant coach for the basketball team, told ESPN’s Outside the Lines this week that he knows people will argue there is no bigger draft bust in NBA history than him. “I’ll be remembered as the biggest bust in NBA history,” Oden admitted, according to Jeff Goodman of ESPN.com. “But I can’t do nothing about that.” I have a question, why the hell is 'Outside The Lines' interviewing Greg Oden? Like, what is the deep dive here? Breaking news: Greg Oden admitted he was a bust? I hardly consider that relevant considering he did the very same thing two years ago, but even if he didn't - did we really have to hear him say it? Greg Oden is bustiest bust of all time. This report isn't going to settle any arguments. Who is debating whether or not Greg Oden is the biggest bust ever when it's really more of a fact than a debatable topic? I mean, I'm a huge sports fan and I don't recall ever watching the #1 overall pick of the 2007 NBA Draft play. Maybe I saw some highlights here and there, but I can't remember tuning in and focusing solely on his performance for an entire game. That's taking the term 'bust' to such extreme levels that even Skip Bayless would pass on trying to say otherwise. Can we just let the guy live his life? Honestly, making him tell the world he knows he's a bust is about as unnecessary as sitting down former pornstars and making them admit that they were kind of slutty. It's more of a harrowing reminder of his all-too-disappointing career than anything that could even accidentally be construed as informative. The Baltimore Ravens Filmed A #MannequinChallenge Video Throughout Their Game Against The Browns11/11/2016
Short week. Divisional "rival" on tap. A chance to vault themselves into first place after having a rough go of things the last month. You'd think the Baltimore Ravens would have been pretty goddamn focused last night. You'd assume they'd take a business-like approach to what could (in some other universe where the Browns are capable of victory) have been a trap game... Nah. Instead they choose to use the national spotlight to put together a montage of the latest online craze sweeping social media. It's almost like John Harbaugh walked into the locker room 15 minutes prior to kickoff to discuss the keys to the game and wrote "finish your blocks, don't miss tackles, celebrate every big play by temporarily freezing in front of the nearest camera" in permanent marker on the dry erase board. Do you understand how confident a team has to be that they are going to win a game - in a ridiculously unpredictable league - that during said game they make sure to film scenes for a viral video that they would get crucified for posting after a loss? And the funny thing is that I'm not even hating on the Ravens for doing it. This is a complete indictment of the Cleveland Browns. The most entertaining thing they can provide their viewers is their opponent's postgame tweet that was only possible because of their guaranteed incompetence. And I thought having 5 different players play quarterback at the mid-point of the season was embarrassing. That's nothing compared to one professional sports franchise treating another like they're good for nothing more than retweets at their expense. Tristan Thompson Reportedly Broke Up With Khloe Kardashian Because His Teammates Teased Him11/11/2016 MTO- Khloe Kardashian may be a SINGLE LADY again, and she has her NBA baller Tristan Thompson’s teammates to blame for the demise of her relationship.
MediaTakeOut.com spoke with the significant other of a member of the Cleveland Cavaliers and she tells us that Tristan and Khloe have “broken up.” The insider explained to MTO, “Everyone was [teasing] Tristan calling him ‘Kardashian’ in the locker room.” Tristan reportedly did NOT like his new nickname, and it caused stress on his relationship with Khloe. The insider added, “It’s messed up because I think [Tristan] really cared for that girl [Khloe].” Two star-crossed lovers. Brought together by the fate that is necessary for an NBA player to meet his match in the realm of "reality" television. A mutual adoration so pure that it couldn't be seen between a man and his former girlfriend/future baby mama, or in the handful of flings between a woman and her host of past basketball playing boyfriends. A relationship inevitably torn apart by outside sources. A mating of souls split by the envy of others. A tear jerking, heart shattering end to a what was sure to be an ridiculous expedited, everlasting marriage. A story of love gone so awry that you'd think it was scripted by one Billy Shakespeare. Get the fuuuuuck out of here. I have zero doubts that the entire Cavaliers roster was treating Tristan Thompson as more of a punching bag than the rest of the NBA has treated his now-former girlfriend's clitoris. Surely having his love life incessantly joked about by the people he spends each and every day with became insufferable. However, there's one thing that every partnership that gets picked apart by those around it has in common. It has inherent flaws. I have friends in great relationships and I have friends in laughable relationships. Want to take a guess which group gets teased for sport? Tristan Thompson owes his teammates a thank you for prying him out of the Kardashian web that has suffocated so many professional athletes before him. LeBron may just as insecure of an attention whore as Khloe Kardashian, but he always looks out for his teammates best interests. The guy stomped his feet until Tristan Thompson got paid $10 million more dollars per year than points he scores per game, so don't tell me his third party interference wasn't a blessing in the most recognizable disguise of all time. TMZ- More troubling behavior from ex-Dallas Cowboys running back Joseph Randle -- who was charged with a crime after allegedly ripping a TV off the wall in jail ... because he wanted to watch a certain show.
TMZ Sports has obtained court docs which show Randle was charged with criminal damage to property for the July 28 incident at the Sedgwick County Jail. Officials say witnesses snitched on Randle -- most likely because he broke the whole TV which was damaged beyond repair. Everyone knows you don't mess with inmates' TV privileges! You know who Joseph Randle reminds me of? The minor league baseball player in his mid-30's who has never even sniffed playing in the Majors and just keeps bouncing around on bus rides from suburb to suburb because he has no idea what else to do with his life if he wasn't sitting in a poorly maintained dugout in front of 1,172 fans with a fat dip in his lower lip. Much like that poor, hypothetical bastard that can't give up their dream, Joseph Randle just refuses to admit to himself that he doesn't have what it takes to make it in the profession of his choice. In a way, I respect it. Dude is just trying to get rich or die trying, and the fact that he's far closer to the latter hasn't made him even begin to reconsider stealing everything along his career path. The professional crook that can't get make it out of a Dillard's with a package of discount underwear and a new scent without getting pinched? The bandit that's only considered sticky because he gets himself stuck in precarious situations? Not only trying to rob a flat screen television from a goddamn prison, but breaking it n the process? Joseph Randle might be the single worst burglar of all time, but his dedication to the craft is unparalleled. He's like the kid that shows up to open hockey every single day, and NEVER gets any better whatsoever. He's basically just banging his head against a brick wall because he knows nothing other than his passion for something he absolutely sucks at. I can't help but admire that level of determination. Don't let anyone tell you what you can't do Joseph...even if it has landed him behind bars and drawn the ire of every single one of your fellow inmates.
::quickly drops behind the bar as hundreds of pints of Guinness smash against the wall behind me:: Sorry ya drunkards, but the truth is the truth. The allure of MMA is that it features world class athletes actually beating the piss out of each other. I understand that a huge part of both combat sports and Conor McGregor's entertainment value is promotion, but can we maybe stop short of going full WWE? Give me the condescending, slick talking mick that was more likely to smile in his impending opponent's direction after verbally instigating him into a fit of rage than he was to throw energy drinks and half-heartedly "attempt" to hit someone with a folding chair. That scene I just watched of one of the most feared mixed martial artists doing the most disingenuous "hold me back! hold me back!" routine of all time had my eyes-a-rollin'. I don't know if true UFC fans - which I am unquestionably not - get off on that melodramatic bullshit, but there's something inherently cringeworthy about having a clearly fabricated lead-up to a very real fight. Eddie Alvarez throwing a folding chair behind Conor McGregor for seemingly no other reason than for him to grab it and start swinging reeked of ingenuity. Even worse? It reeked of something straight off the script of the soap opera that Conor McGregor has always been so quick to criticize....
It's time for another all-too-conflicting round of 'Good News, Bad News', and hereeeee we gooooo! Bad news first, you say? Great choice!
Well, I suppose it just had to be this way. That's not to say that the emotional leader of the Saints defense couldn't have potentially (this is only an investigation, after all) found a more legal way to stay focused than popping study pills, but it is to say that the righted ship was sailing along far too smoothly not to suspect some turbulent waters were ahead. Winning 4 out of 5 games? The best defensive back on the team and their first round draft pick returning to action after injuries that cost them the first half of their season? That's simply wayyyy too much positivity and optimism not to brace for impending disappointment, and there's nothing more disappointing than losing an intimidating presence that rallied the rest of the troops while damn near half the front line was tending to injuries. Anyway you slice it, not having Kenny Vaccaro available for 4 games during the heart of the season - for a completely avoidable reason - sucks...badly. The good news?
I completely realize that this is a shortsighted way to look at things, but - as far as I am concerned - the season rides on Sunday's game. That's not just some "the most important game is the next one" rhetoric either. You want precedence? The last two years the Saints have battled all the back from horrific starts to get to 4-4 at the halfway mark. Sound familiar? Both times they followed that up with depressing home efforts against teams that had no business beating them before they embarked on sizable losing streaks. Sound familiar? I know the 2016 Broncos might not be as hapless as the 2014 49er's or the 2015 Titans, but they have a young starting quarterback who has had his struggles and an extremely depleted secondary. Long story short, they are prime for the taking. Win Sunday - with Vaccaro in the lineup - and that seemingly annual mid-season disappointment is a thing of the past. It doesn't mean this team is making the playoffs, but it's a huge step in the right direction. A step so big, in fact , that it could give them the confidence to handle the Panthers, the Rams, the Lions, and the Bucs even if their starting strong safety were to have to sit out the duration of those games. Numerically speaking, the Saints have played thee most difficult schedule in the entire league to this point. Getting one more huge win before losing a key piece of their (sometimes) average defense for the light(er) part of their schedule could do wonders. If not, well, buckle the fuck up....
Still Bummed About The Election? This Video Should Temporarily Lift Your All-American Spirits!11/10/2016
There it is! Nothing like the unifying power of music baby! Still want to move to Canada, eh? Go ahead, get your Avril Lavigne loving ass the fuck on out. It's okay to be embarrassed for our country, because...well...we basically pants-ed ourselves in front of everyone and reminded the rest of the world exactly why they hate us. However, you won't tell me that 19,000 strong singing the National Anthem in unison didn't make you temporarily forget that we may only be a hand basket away from hell-bound. Colin Kaepernick would probably make sure he was seated first, but even he would instinctually start humming along under his breath if he watched this video. You want to head north and be a part of the backup vocals for Celine Dion as she draws out that lazy ass anthem that has like 8 words total? Be my guest, but don't you dare leave thinking that American sports fans are anything less than breathtaking when we all come together to celebrate our slightly waning Patriotism through song! P.S. You can simultaneously be happy to be an American and currently ashamed of being an American. I'm happy to be a drinker, but occasionally I'm ashamed of the things that I do when I drink too much. If that comparison doesn't make sense to you then I suggest you read it back to yourself after downing 8-10 beers while binge watching a season of 'The Apprentice'. That'll really make that analogy hit the peak of it's logic. Okay fine, so maybe it wasn't the dream scenario that Seth Curry has had cooking up in his head since his big bro took the NBA by storm, but beggars can't be choosers. Little bro has gone from running the second unit of a complete dumpster fire in Sacramento to finally getting a real chance to contribute on a disappointing Dallas team. Simply put, he hasn't gotten too many opportunities to show up a sibling who is the babyface of a franchise who already has their eyes on a second championship in 3 years less than 10 games into the season. So yeah, 'Seth on Steph' wasn't exactly 'Iverson or Jordan', but you know it will still feel good to bring up blowing past big bro's gimpy ass as he passes him the mashed potatoes on Thanksgiving. Probably hit him with a "Don't get up Steph, I'll bring the greens to you. Wouldn't want to be responsible for crippling you again". Sure, all Seth really did was pivot forward while Steph's pre-pubescent ankle was trying to prematurely run down court like it just hoisted a 30 foot three, but it's still a small victory for someone who plays the role of smallest second fiddle in sports history. Of course he didn't want to see the pride of the family get escorted off the court with an injury, but it was worth it for him to finally get that forever elusive 'one up'. 'New Balance' Is Extremely Excited That Donald Trump (Or Any Old White Person Really) Is President11/10/2016
Translation: "The black president that was a huge sports fan, occasionally played pickup hoops, and was in tune with style and culture due in large part to his race had no interest in wearing our middle-aged dad shoes, and we are very excited that the person that's now in his position is a cryptic old white dude who doesn't give a shit about his footwear and is likely already developing orthopedic issues." There's something to be said for knowing your audience. A couple of days ago I would have told you that aligning your company with the likes of Donald Trump would be a detrimental business decision, but a couple of days ago I thought that a vast majority of the country saw Donald Trump as a reality TV show host that was making a mockery of the election by actively sabotaging his own campaign. I guess what I am trying to say is that I don't think I am jumping to any ridiculous conclusions by stating that if there is enough support to make a known bigot a world leader then there's enough of a market to keep a company that sells comfortable, bland, cost efficient sneakers for the flatfooted and un-athletic well afloat. There will certainly be some of these people...
...but I imagine that inevitable loss in capital will be easily offset by the amount of Middle Americans that can now simultaneously display their lack of a fashion sense, support the person they voted for, and stay under budget. New Balance's clientele might be a little less...uhhh...diverse (Also See: "Urban") going forward, but I am going to go out on a limb and say they might be open to expansion in "rural" areas in the very near future. FIU's Tight End Is Out For The Season After His Pregnant Girlfriend Scalded Him With Boiling Water11/10/2016 LBS- Florida International tight end Jonnu Smith has played his last snap of college football because of an argument with his girlfriend that turned violent.
Smith, FIU’s best NFL Draft prospect, suffered severe burns on his head, neck, back, shoulder and arm on Halloween when his girlfriend Mary Gaspar threw a pot of boiling water at him. Gaspar, who is five months pregnant with Smith’s child, has been charged with aggravated battery. According to an arrest affidavit obtained by the Miami Herald, Gaspar told FIU police that she and Smith had been arguing throughout the day over the lack of attention he was giving her. Gaspar admitted to boiling a pot of water and pouring it over Smith after she had been sitting in his dorm room “feeling extremely emotional and stressed.” Gaspar also said she hit Smith with her open hands after he did not react as strongly as she would have liked. Am I supposed to treat the dude who had his first layer of skin melted off like a victim? Is the what we are doing here? Painting his pregnant girlfriend who - rightfully or wrongfully - felt neglected like she's an overly emotional psychopath? Because I don't really see much of an argument here. Mary Gaspar is an overly emotional psychopath. The problem is she has every right to be because she's carrying a human fucking being in her stomach. I don't want to victim blame or endorse the use of scolding hot water to get your point across, but this is one is Jonnu Smith. You leave a pissed off pregnant woman to - quite literally - stew alone in her anger then you're basically asking to get your cold heart defrosted in the most painful manner possible. I've never even put a bun in the oven, but I know that oven can preheat itself when there's a chemical imbalance that's turning it into a certified schizo. I might have some compassion for this dude if his future baby mama launched a frying pan at his head, or was domestically abusive in some other off-the-cuff way that he couldn't possibly have seen coming. However, that wasn't the case at all. He gave this broad far too ample of an opportunity to work herself into a frenzy. Shit, the amount of time it takes to heat water is basically the sole reason I go out every time I am craving pasta, and this dude is fresh off an argument turning his back on a mentally unstable woman while the temperature literally and figuratively rises to a boiling point. Maybe he didn't deserve to be treated like a succulent Maine lobster, but he certainly was complicit in it happening.
The last thing I want to talk about right now is the Presidency. Trust me on that. I've generally been the type to walk away at the mere mention of politics, so being the one to intentionally bring up the conversation is uncharacteristic of me - especially when that conversation is as depressing as it's ever been. As a heterosexual white male that happens to enjoy the company of those that don't look or fuck exactly like me I found myself nodding along with just about everything Steve Kerr had to say, but that's neither here nor there. Instead I'd rather discuss how he did so in a forum that's usually frowns upon it without it coming off at all forced or inappropriate. Think about that for a second. The head coach of the most polarizing, newsworthy team in the NBA just spent likely the longest amount of time he's ever spent answering a single question at a press conference, and it was to openly criticize the brand spanking new President-elect. Not only that, but it somehow managed to come off as completely justified. A basketball coach took a hard left out of the sports world to bash the representative of the right relatively extensively and I didn't even feel the urge to cringe once. I suppose the election of a non-politician to the highest position in all of fucking politics set the precedent for public figures switching lanes at the drop of the hat. Still, the only weird thing about Steve Kerr using his outlet in sports to stray into a realm that's always been considered taboo is that it didn't even seem remotely weird. Although, I guess that makes total sense since the following is probably more of a likelihood than a possibility...
Yikes. Not going to lie, I'm feeling a little bit uncomfortable over here. There's a thin line between mascot and furry and I think Grizz just Magic Mike'd his way past it. Before this very second I never would have thought that the over-sexualization of people dressed up in bear suits was something that we needed to concern ourselves with, but that all changed once one decided to strip himself of his uniform. In fact, I think by treating this like it was some harmless, 'PG' act we are really trivializing the desires of an entire fetish community. I don't know how we determine which sexualities deserve a voice, but having their own category on PornHub seems like as good of a reason as any to be sensitive to the animalistic desires of a particular group of people. The man behind the mask might not be into fucking with his "work clothes" on, but that just means he appropriated the shit out of the culture of those that like a little inter-species beastiality. On the surface this was just a creative little way to make the fans laugh. However, if even one dick inside the FedEx Forum got semi-hard when Grizz went on an air-humping spree that would have the NFL considering execution by slaughter then I think we have to consider this was less about stripping and more about teasing a proud group of deviants. As anyone that danced to the song 'Too Close' with a female friend in middle school can attest, it's all fun and games until a boner jam has it's intended effect in a public Forum. Did This Former Tennessee Linebacker "Vandalize" His Own Car With Racist Trump Propaganda?11/9/2016
Let it be known that I'm not saying that Chris Weatherd defaced his car himself. It would take someone with extreme psychological issues to do so. Seriously, can you imagine a person going into their garage following some incredibly disturbing election results, busting out an easily erasable white marker, symmetrically writing the most abhorrent of racial slurs accompanied by the name of the Presidential candidate they clearly denounced on all sides of their vehicle, pulling said vehicle mere inches outside of their garage so none of the neighbors could see clearly, and calmly filming a video for social media? That would be the work of a lunatic! I mean, that makes even less sense than moronic, preoccupied Donald Trump supporters taking time out of their celebratory night to go outside and "destructively" write generic, offensive terms on windshields with a conveniently temporary utensil meant solely for windshields. Well, at least I think it does. Either way, that's a level of crazy that I would have to see first hand to believe. It might be a level of crazy fitting of someone that would lend credence to online conspiracy theorists by adamantly defending themselves against their totally outlandish claims on Twitter, but there's just no way I can comfortably say that Chris Weatherd did this on his own. Not when the act of doing something incredibly disingenuous to make the group of people you disagree with look bad publicly is basically unforeseen... |
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