When exactly did "choke" become some taboo word that's only fitting to use toward professional athletes? Did I miss that memo? Are we not allowed to chastise college basketball players even though there's a good amount of people out there - myself included - that think they should be paid for their efforts? Kenny Smith compared the UNI collapse to the 'Titanic'. Charles Barkley said the only thing worse than that loss was growing up in the projects. Yet, when it came to using the word that would most accurately describe the end of that game they resorted to calling it 'the C word'. Listen, I know these kids are still young. I know they are prone to stupid mistakes. However, when you're up 12 with 35 seconds left and end up losing the culmination of those mistakes is a "choke" each and every single time. I don't care if it happened in the NBA, WNBA, NCAA, or AAU, a team with four of the most egregious turnovers I have ever seen, in under a minute, is free from from no criticism. Are we afraid of offending the players? Considering that was officially the biggest collapse in NCAA Tournament history I am pretty sure they know they choked. Why pussy foot around it when it's so blatantly obvious? Northern Iowa had the game won and gave it away to their opponent, and there is only one word for a win that undeserved.
This whole "I feel so bad for those kids" narrative is getting a bit out of hand. I can't - in good conscience - say that I feel bad for them. The end of that game is the whole reason I watch the NCAA Tournament, and I don't mean to see a bunch of kids sit at the podium crying and declaring their undying love for each other. I watch the NCAA tournament for the excitement, the unpredictability, and yes, the youth and inexperience that make the games so exciting and unpredictable. The more ridiculously heartbreaking endings the better. Just don't tell me that this ridiculously heartbreaking ending wasn't a choke when this was the losing team's reaction...
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2015
2016
I'm not going to lie to you, I knew something was missing. The first round certainly had plenty of action, but it still felt a bit off. The upsets were as intriguing as always, the buzzer beaters as breathtaking as ever, but there was still something lacking. I may not have been able to say the same in 2014, but this is 2016, and March hasn't descended into full blown Madness until we have a girl in the band brought to tears by the failures of her college's basketball team. 2015 set a precedent, and that precedent is that the most exciting tournament in sports isn't complete without a girl with an instrument in her hand having an emotional outburst broadcast to millions upon millions of people. It's the 21st century, and with that comes an audience that is increasingly greedy and harder to please. You give us a crying band girl one year, you damn well better give us a crying band girl every year. Soon we will be desensitized to watching a girl bawling into her mouthpiece, but until that moment comes we absolute need to see her on an annual basis to feel truly fulfilled. The dramatic, unpredictable basketball is without a doubt the entree, but it's the student sobbing all over her saxophone that really puts the cherry on top of a satisfying sports sundae. Thank you crying band girl. Thank you for being a Kentucky fan, but above all thanks for giving us the gratifying laugh we had already forgotten we needed. You want me to say it? Fine, I'll say it. I get more enjoyment out of a Devils win against a team with Zach Parise than I do out of a win against any other team not named the Rangers or Flyers, and I can't see that changing anytime soon. I know that's something a scorned lover would say, but that beautiful bastard burned me worse than any runaway vagina ever could. It's all revisionist history at this point, but he would fit in perfectly on this team, and because he's no longer on it he deserves all the bad things in the world to happen to him and only him. I'll put on a happy face when he laces them up for Team USA, but the ill will that resides deep in my soul will never, EVER subside. I know he had a valid reason for signing in Minnesota. I know that the NHL is a business and the Wild basically offered Zach Parise the entirety of their net worth to leave New Jersey. However, the best part about being a fan is that I don't have to care. I can shamelessly cheer as I watch Zach Parise struggle mightily to make plays while his former team is putting up a touchdown at his expense, and I don't have to concern myself with his character. I can sit there on St. Patrick's Day - with a beer in hand and enough car bombs in my stomach to make ISIS blush - booing his existence without acknowledging how he's a hard worker that plays the game the right way. Honestly, even if I did it would just make me hate him more, because it was those attributes that made it so much harder to watch him walk out the door immediately after captaining this team to a Stanley Cup Finals appearance. So fuck you Zach. I hope the only accomplishment you ever earn is a Gold Medal, and that's just because I am a proud American that's willing to begrudgingly concede you happiness on behalf of this country. I don't hate you because you're a bad guy, I hate you because you're a good guy that doesn't play for my team, and those two things are basically one and the same. Have fun in Minnesota (as if that's possible), but don't think for a second we are ever going to let you forget what you left behind in New Jersey, and hopefully the team can do it's part in scoring 3 games worth of goals every time you step in the building. Ut-Oh, Virginia Fans Donated Money To Middle Tennessee State After They Upset Michigan State3/19/2016
What's that sound? Does anybody else hear it? It can't be, can it? It's gotta be...dare I say it...an upset alert?!? This is a public service announcement. Put down your beers - don't worry it's just for a second - and call your bookies. Hedge all bets on the Virginia Cavaliers. I repeat, hedge all bets on the Virginia Cavaliers.
It may have just been two over-appreciative fans, but it was two over-appreciative fans that clearly don't realize that ANYTHING can happen during March Madness. I know it must have felt good to watch their biggest in-region competition meet an untimely first round demise, but the beauty of the NCAA tournament is that your biggest competition is always your next competitor. If Virginia fans want to shower Middle Tennessee State with donations then be my guest, but you simply can't do it until you find out if it ends up meaning something. That money would have been better spent at the liquor store if becomes if Virginia can't put away a historically scrappy Butler team. The cash they just sent to some directional satellite school - that they could potentially end up facing - looks pretty petty if they don't even make it far enough to do so. Even the implication that Virginia will benefit from not having to face Michigan State shows that these two random people - who clearly have more money than they know what to do with - have a thing or two to learn about college basketball. Mainly the fact that the moment you take your team's matchup for granted is almost always immediately followed by March Sadness, and - unlike myself - I don't think they want to see this kid's encore performance...
I am about to fix the entire profession of sports reporting, and it's by demanding that the reporters ask their own questions to themselves before they test them out on young, emotional athletes. Seriously, if this guy had stood in the bathroom, looked himself in the mirror, and asked "how did Yale out rebound Baylor?" then he would have realized that question has no reasonable answer. If a 40 year old man whose job it is to be articulate can't conjure up an intelligible, original response then how the hell is a kid that just had his heart broken going to do so? I know Taurean Prince came off as salty, and I am glad that he did, because it was more entertaining than hearing "they just outworked us on the boards" for the umpteenth time. Little known fact, every team that has ever been out rebounded has been "outworked on the boards". Without fail, if you come out on the ass end of that stat then you have your lack of effort to blame. That's why Taurean Prince shouldn't even have to spit out a nauseating cliche that's basically already implied. This reporter would have known that if he gave his material a test run, and more importantly he would have avoided getting emasculated on national television by a pissed off kid reciting the first chapter of 'Rebounding For Dummies'.
P.S. Can't believe this kid wasn't super accommodating of elementary questions... DailyMail- An Iowa waitress was stiffed out of a tip on a $17 check because she was not 'normal looking'.
Taelor Beeck celebrates herself as an individual and works at Zombie Burger in Des Moines. The pink-haired server was closing out one of her tables at the hip restaurant on Tuesday night when she released the customer had left no tip and a note on the receipt reading: 'Tips are only for normal-looking people.' 'At first, I felt really upset, I felt attacked, I almost felt like I was back in middle school all over again, like being bullied,' Beeck told Pix 11. Let's get this out of the way, this woman was NOT bullied. You walk around with bright pink fucking hair then people are going to talk about you and it's not always going to be positive. She knew when turned her hair into cotton candy that she was going to get attention by doing it so I am calling bullshit on the bullying. With that said, I do respect her right to make a living, and if she's going to walk around looking like a asshole then I can't possibly think of a better place for her to make a living than a 'Zombie Burger' in the middle of Iowa. I don't think its ever right to not tip a waitress whose livelihood depends on the generosity of others, but you might be able to get away with the "tips are for normal looking people" move at a normal restaurant. You lose that right when you show up to a fast food burger joint named after the walking dead. I am going to go out on a limb and say that this woman's unorthodox appearance didn't take anything away from the experience of eating their $5 Undead Special. In fact, if you choose to go to a restaurant that is below three stars on Yelp! then your tip should be included, because you should know that by walking through the doors you bought in to the mediocrity of your meal. It's 2016. People don't go places to eat unless they know what to expect, and when you go to a "restaurant" whose theme revolves around soulless corpses than you accept the irregular eccentrics that choose to work there to pay their bills. Uproxx- According to Billboard, Chuck D took time out of their set to shout down the Republican frontrunner.
“Black Lives Matter! F*ck Donald Trump,” Chuck D told the crowd with an outstretched middle finger. Before the show he called the election a “bizzare show” and added that “the country is in turmoil.” Flavor Flav had a decidedly different opinion on Trump and he shared it with the magazine after the show. “There’s a lot of people talking a lot of sh*t about Trump, but guess what? He’s winning. The man is winning. I ain’t gonna lie, but listen, the United States has been ran a certain way for decades and decades and decades. You never know: Maybe Trump could possibly do something. Maybe he might step in office and do something. I’m not going to doubt him,” he said. Flav also took offense at the GOP’s attempts to block Trump from the nomination. “Put it this way: If this was really, really a foot race, Donald Trump would be the first one to the finish line, but they won’t let him cross it first… he’s winning fairly, but they still don’t want him to be president. They’re going to try to block that man from being president. If Donald Trump does become president, there’s only one thing we all can do: just sit back and let the man do his job.” I didn't think that Public Enemy was going to be the group that pretty much exemplified the difference between those that support Donald Trump's candidacy and those that think it's the most preposterous thing that has ever happened in this country, but hey, here we are. Chuck D - the educated, politically aware rapper - thinks that Donald Trump is an asshole, and Flava Flav - the drugged up burn out that did nothing but stand behind him and scream random shit - thinks he's a legitimate candidate. One of the most conscious, accomplished hip hop artists of all time thinks the election is a "bizarre show", and his borderline mentally handicapped hype man - that was somehow the centerpiece of the most cringeworthy reality television show in history - is inexplicably comparing it to a foot race. Really speaks to the difference between the two types of people. For all intents and purposes that is all this election boils down to. If you are voting for Donald Trump you probably need adult supervision, and if you realize that we are better off with literally ANYONE else in office then maybe, JUST MAYBE you aren't a functioning retard. It's a scary, scary time to be alive when we actually have to question whether or not there are more Flava Flav's than Chuck D's. Even the idea of that braindead, absent minded idiot with viking horns on his head and a clock around his neck speaking on behalf of the majority is a sobering thought, and the last thing I need during March Madness is a sobering thought. God help us all... Is that it? Is that the standard for goalies "almost" fighting? Standing 115 feet away from each other with furrowed brows with only one scrawny ref separating them? There wasn't even a "hold me back, hold me back" mixed in. If that's "almost" a fight then I "almost" get into 5 fights a day. I have "almost" fought the person that took my parking spot five minutes before I got to the grocery store. I have "almost" fought every person I have insulted on the internet. If looking mildly annoyed while staring intently at someone is what is considered almost fighting then I have "almost" gotten into a bare knuckle brawl in every single bar I have ever been to.
Either go, or don't go guys. Don't stand there looking at each other and getting our hopes up. Goalie fights are like meteor showers. They are a rare and beautiful thing. You don't lie to someone and have them laying out in their backyard all night looking up at the sky like an asshole just because you mistook an airplane for a shooting star, and you don't almost fight as a goalie. Simply can't have a hot head and cold feet. Uproxx- Right now, the CBA is looking at their worst nightmare and the incident is already being compared with the NBA’s ‘Malice at the Palace’ brawl back in 2004, when players from the Indiana Pacers and Detroit Pistons fought with fans on national television. However, not only are Chinese news programs leading the news with images of seven-foot athletes fighting on the pavement, it is during the CBA Finals themselves. Critically, the incident also involves Liaoning players who will be expected to start a critical Game 4 on Friday night.
Amazing. Incredible. Hundreds of Asian people beating the crap out of each other and Lester Hudson just calmly walks on through without so much as a second thought that he might catch an errant fist. Somehow this video makes life as a Chinese basketball player look pretty damn good if you're an African American that can't hack it in the NBA. The most impassioned and infuriated of fans and players, and not one of them even accidentally took aim at the black guy. If you're not going to be famous in America, you might as well be untouchable in China. Lester Hudson just living his life, checking his Twitter mentions, and paying no mind to the Godzilla-esque level of panic going on around him. Probably couldn't even pick out which of the people fighting were his teammates. Seriously, watch this video and tell me all Asians don't look alike. That looks like big blur of oriental anger to me. Kind of makes you wish Jeremy Lin was around for the 'Malice In The Palace' so we could see if he would have reacted the same way. Put a black guy in any other chaotic situation like this and he's either jumping in or getting the fuck out of dodge. He certainly wouldn't be casually standing there looking like he's ready to sip a coffee and suck down a cigarette. In America that would be the perfect way to get caught up in the riff raft, but as a black guy in China you can get front row seats to a melee without people assuming you incited it. The NBA might offer millions of dollars, but it doesn't offer that. Puck Daddy- After the NHL’s general managers meetings, NHL commissioner Gary Bettman was asked about recent comments from NFL senior vice president for health and safety Jeff Miller, who noted that there is a link between football and CTE, the degenerative brain disease associated with concussions.
Bettman sidestepped the question to a degree, but tried to point out that hockey and football are different sports. “I don’t think it’s even necessary or appropriate for me to comment on what the NFL either says or does,” Bettman said. “Secondly I think it’s fairly clear that playing hockey isn’t the same as playing football and as we’ve said all along we’re not going to get into a public debate on this.” Whoa, that's deep. One of those answers that doesn't really feel like an answer at all, but in actuality is the only real answer. It might not be a walk in the park being the Commissioner of the NHL, but at least you can pretty much respond to every single difficult question the same exact way. Why isn't hockey more popular? It's not football. Why isn't hockey more profitable? It's not football. Why isn't hockey more high scoring? It's not football. Why aren't we discussing the blatantly obvious correlation between concussions and CTE in hockey? It's not football. There it is! I knew he would find an advantageous way to use it! I'm actually happy for the guy. It kind of reminds me of when I was in school and would know one concept really well and try to use to answer every open ended question. No better feeling than seeing the one question that it actually does relate to. If there's going to be one subject that Gary Bettman can easily deflect questions on then it might as well be the most damaging subject to his brand. The NHL is basically a C-list celebrity. It's not going to get into ALL the high profile parties, but it also can go out to eat every now and again without getting badgered by fans and paparazzi alike. The NHL is sitting in the dark corner of the restaurant with it's player safety issues slowly sipping some wine while the NFL and it's player safety issues are battling 45 camera men just to get in through the front door. Hockey might be jeopardizing the long term health of it's athletes, but at least half of it's former athletes aren't brain dead before they get their AARP card. That's an important lesson to learn in life. Always have someone that's in a worse position than you are to compare yourself to. The NHL might not be anywhere close to pulling in the amount of money that the NFL is, but no one is casting Will Smith with an unspeakably bad accent in a movie about head injuries in hockey.
Baby steps people, baby steps. You gotta start somewhere, right? You don't go from the mail room to the top floor with one promotion. Sure, WiFi is something that nearly every hotel gives out for free, but the NCAA is paying for those hotel rooms so technically they are providing everything that comes with them. They may not compensate their players, but they make sure they stay connected by only booking hotels that have the most basic of amenities. That's got to count for something. I am not going to hate on the NCAA for taking pride in something that seems so trivial. What else are they supposed tweet about? Pretty sure a self promotional social media account is supposed to focus only on the positives, and when it comes to how well they treat their athletes a convenient internet connection might as well be a spa day. Laugh all you want, but I bet those kids are relieved they don't have to deal with data overages. I'm sure they wouldn't mind having a couple hundred dollars in their pocket either, but I think they can settle for the ability to text, tweet, and surf the internet without a worry in the world. When you've gotten used to being given nothing, anything feels like a bonus. The NCAA deserves credit for setting the bar so low that offering the same luxuries as your standard coffee shop feels like a huge step in the right direction. The best way to overachieve is to create an expectation free environment, and the fact that they are proud of themselves for not putting up their players in a motel with hourly rates means they have done just that.
BSO- “When he and I were
just friends, he would always say, ‘You remind me of my mother, and I like that because you’re like a dude. You’re tough like a guy and you talk like a dude.’ So I always got the sense that me being tough and bossy was a turn-on for him,” Minaj explained. “And it’s important for me to keep my voice. Being in a relationship shouldn’t mean that you lose your voice. Being in a relationship should mean that you’ve met a secure-enough man to allow you, in a sense, to remain a queen.” -Nikki Minaj on Meek Mill
Remember when Drake absolutely slayed Meek Mill and his only response was to scream undecipherable nonsense into a microphone for 3-4 minutes? You don't have to answer that, I know you remember. Well, pretty sure it seemed like a forgone conclusion that Nikki Minaj was going to break up with him once he became the laughing stock of the industry. In all honesty it was pretty shocking that she didn't. Well now it's all coming together. I can't believe I didn't see this before. Nikki Minaj really is the man in the relationship, and like any man that's tired of being in a relationship she's doing her best to get Meek Mill to end it instead of having a difficult conversation like an actual adult. And when I say "end it" I mean his own life, because Meek Mill would have to be a moron to break up with Nikki Minaj, but he may have no choice but to kill himself when the hip hop community finds out he has a thing for his own mother. I know that men subconsciously date women like their mother, and women subconsciously date men like their father, but do you know who doesn't know that? Rappers. Rappers don't deal in the subconscious, and rappers definitely don't give any leniency when it comes to indirectly implied incest. As far as they are concerned Meek Mill went from his "girl's tour" to his mother's bed. I bet they think Mrs. Mill and Nikki share Meek on the weekends. As if the guy's career wasn't on life support as is, here comes his girlfriend dumping dirt on his body. I refuse to believe that Nikki Minaj is this stupid. This had to be a calculated move, because if there is one rule in hip hop it's never make your gang banging rapper boyfriend sound like his momma's boy toy.
"There has been no policy change with regards to allowance of kids in the clubhouse, on the field, the back fields during spring training. This young man that we're talking about, Drake, everyone loves this young man. In no way do I want this to be about him.'
"I asked Adam, said, 'Listen, our focus, our interest, our desire this year is to make sure we give ourselves every opportunity to focus on a daily basis on getting better. All I'm asking you to do with regard to bringing your kid to the ballpark is dial it back.' "I don't think he should be here 100 percent of the time - and he has been here 100 percent, every day, in the clubhouse. I said that I don't even think he should be here 50 percent of the time. Figure it out, somewhere in between. "We all think his kid is a great young man. I just felt it should not be every day, that's all. You tell me, where in this country can you bring your child to work every day? You know why the blame for this situation falls on the shoulders of White Sox management? It's not because they wanted a clubhouse that was free of children. It's not because it's a ridiculous request to ask an athlete not to bring his child to work every single day. It's because it damn sure ain't Adam LaRoche's fault for deciding to retire instead of explaining to his teenage son that life isn't fair. I can understand why some players wouldn't want kids in the clubhouse, but being a parent is about setting precedents. The White Sox allowed Adam LaRoche and his kid to set the precedent that he was allowed in the locker room everyday, and the last thing a parent wants to do to their child is disappoint them, especially when it's of no fault of their own. As if being a Dad wasn't hard enough without having a employer that asks you to break your kid's heart. Of course Adam LaRoche called it quits. That's way less difficult than having the "...but why?" conversation, and trying to explain to your child that he didn't do anything wrong. If I were Adam LaRoche I would have demanded that the White Sox explain to my son why he can't be in the locker room all the time and maybe I would have stuck it out another year for that extra $11 million, but to each their own. If Ken Williams wants to randomly change a policy - which is exactly what he did - then he should be the one that has to play bad cop, because Adam LaRoche - the guy that just left baseball on behalf of his son - is undoubtedly the good cop in his situation.
In before the whistle! Creative retirement stunts haven't grown old yet, and - despite what one stick in the mud former Major Leaguer may think - bat flips certainly haven't gotten old either. So suck it Goose Gossage, because Willie Bloomquist just called it a career with one momentous flip of the wrist. Yeah, I suppose a sendoff this symbolic feels like it should have been reserved for someone with a little more of an impact on the game, but if Willie wasn't going to make his mark when he was on the field then he might as well leave it as he walks off of it forever. Just a perfect ending to a not-so-perfect career. One more clunk of the lumber and Willie Blomquist - the utility player I never knew existed - sails off into the sunset...about 5 seconds after I found out who he was. We might have wasted the good 'goodbye' on a guy we have never heard of, but at least he has a sense of humor about it...
Amber Rose Is Upset That No One Brings Up Channing Tatum's Past As A Stripper Like They Do Hers3/16/2016 DailyNews- Model Amber Rose says people fixate on her stripper background while overlooking Channing Tatum’s past life as a bare-chested beefcake — all because he’s a man.
“He was a stripper just like me. No one says s--t. He’s at the f--king Oscars. He’s at the Vanity Fair party. You know what I'm saying?” Rose told the Huffington Post on Tuesday. Male actors in Hollywood can easily bury their old careers, Rose argued, while she struggles to distance herself from her pole-dancing days. “Brad Pitt used to sell chicken in a chicken costume on the corner. No one says, ‘Oh, you sell chicken for a living.’ No he’s an actor. That’s what he does now,” she said. “But for me, no matter how many TV shows, no matter how many movies I do, I’m always a stripper.” “No one cares, because he’s a man,” she added. “They’re never going to care.” Is this something that people knew? Am I the only one that was unaware that Channing Tatum used to be a real life stripper and not just one in a movie that girls cream themselves over? Could very be ignorance on my part, but I honestly had no idea. You know why I likely had no idea? Because Channing Tatum doesn't go chanting it from the roof tops. He doesn't walk around in banana hammocks talking about the rights of sexually promiscuous men. He's moved on from that life and made a career for himself in acting. Sure, sometimes his roles take him back to darker periods of his life, but that doesn't mean he still embraces those periods. You know what Amber Rose does? Yeah, me either. I think she's a model, and by model I mean she's someone that gets paid for looking attractive in hardly any clothing. I don't think I have ever even seen her model anything. Wouldn't be completely surprised if she just walks around and has men throw money at her for a living. Needless to say, her current career - and side job of hosting "Slut Walks" - hasn't exactly strayed too far from her past. As a general rule of thumb I don't think scantily clad models - no matter how successful they are - are supposed to expect invites to the Oscars or Vanity Fair parties. Now I am not saying their isn't a double standard. Maybe it is harder for people to overlook a woman's past as a stripper than a man's, but it's undoubtedly harder to overlook when the ex-stripper in question has yet to stop acting like a stripper. Show me one appearance that Amber Rose has made where her outfit couldn't pass for stripper wear and maybe I'll stop thinking of her as a stripper. Until then she'll always just be a stripper that made something of herself.
Remove the asterisks baby! The entire steroid era is nothing but a web of lies, and I know this because a 52 year old man that used to look like this...
And now looks like this...
...is still out there out-slugging one of the best young hitters in all of baseball. If anything, all HGH did was make Barry Bonds slower on the base paths. We should change it's branding to 'Human Growth Hindrance'. Performance enhancing drugs my ass. A needle here and a steroid there had no discernible effect on his ability to hit the ball a mile. He already had that in him. If anything he was selfless for pumping himself full of synthetics just so he could stay on the field. 162 games is a lot of games. Poor guy might have gotten hurt out there if he didn't use illegal substances to pack on the pounds to avoid injury, and only to avoid injury. Shame on the MLB for rubbing his name through the dirt and trying to keep him out of the Hall Of Fame. After all the stolen bases he sacrificed just so he could keep the seats filled. He didn't jeopardize the integrity of the game. If anything he jeopardized the size of his testicles so he could play it more often. You telling me that's not worth celebrating? Usually actors get rewarded for putting on weight for a film, but Barry Bonds puts on a bunch of completely useless muscle just so he can continue to play a starring role in baseball's resurgence and he gets chastised for it? With all the unjust blasphemy he has to endure over the years it's no wonder he's got God on his side.
Uproxx- It sounds as if Jared Fogle’s time in prison is not getting any easier. Earlier this month, news surfaced that the former Subway spokesperson was being taunted and called “Chomo” (short for child molester) by his fellow inmates, and as a result the stress eating had caused him to pack on up to 30 pounds. And now Fogle has just received his first proper prison beat down, according to new reports by TMZ.
Apparently the issue seems to stem from the inmates having a problem with those in prison for sex crimes against minors, which is nothing new. And of course it doesn’t help that Fogle happens to be a very high profile inmate. According to docs, Fogle got jumped in the rec yard at Englewood prison in Colorado back on January 29, and it was not much of a fight. An inmate named Steven Nigg pushed Fogle down and then unloaded a barrage of punches to his face. Nigg, who’s in for a weapons charge, left Fogle with a bloody nose, swollen face and scratches on his neck. 60-year-old Nigg was also injured — a small cut on his left hand from delivering the whuppin’. Prison officials put Nigg in solitary as punishment. First of all, can we stop calling him Jared Fogle? I feel like somewhere out there in the universe there is another Jared Fogle that is getting absolutely abused because of a completely arbitrary name association. As much as I would have jumped in an made fun of that kid in middle school, no one deserves to share a name with a pedophile whose famous for eating the same crappy lunchmeat everyday. Let's just call him 'Subway Jared' or 'Jared from Subway', because if you happen to share that branding then you deserve every single joke that's made at your expense. More importantly, what is going on in jail? Shouldn't this guy be dead already? I thought the most hated people behind bars were kiddie touchers followed closely by rich people. Subway Jared is not only both those things, but he basically used the wealth he got from being a spokesperson for shitty fast-food to more efficiently touch children. He should be public enemy number one. Has prison gone soft? How was he not fucked in the ass and buried alive in the yard within hours of being there? Maybe I have a very different view of prison life, but I'm pretty sure convict on convict homicide should be praiseworthy with the amount of overcrowding that's going on. No reason to waste a cell on a guy that don't deserve a second chance at life. The fact that all he has is a bloody nose, a stollen face (which was apparently pretty fat as is), and a couple scratches on his neck isn't just disappointing, it's making me question the delicate system of checks and balances that I have always thought to be maintained behind penitentiary walls. How is this dude only suffering minor ass kickings at the hands of senior citizens, when in reality he deserves a fate worse than death? We Can Learn A Lot From This Soccer Ref In The Congo, Like Don't Become A Soccer Ref In The Congo3/16/2016 Perhaps I overreacted. You can be a soccer ref in the Congo. After all, the Congo needs soccer refs too. What you can't be is a soccer ref in the Congo that has integrity. You can't be a soccer ref in the Congo and have an undying need to remain unbiased. I'm not saying I don't feel bad for this guy who got beaten mercilessly by a swarm of enraged fans, I am just saying that he learned a valuable lesson in the process. When you are a soccer ref in the Congo not only do you need to know your audience, but you need to do everything and anything to play to that audience, or else you run the risk of that audience chasing you across the field and making your eye sockets look like golf balls. I think fair play is pretty important, but personally, I am not risking my life for it. Maybe this referee thought differently, but I would be surprised if a little internal bleeding didn't change his mind. Next time it might be smart to just keep that red card tucked safely into the back pocket unless the person being tripped plays for the home team. A soccer ref should never feel more obligated to perform his job admirably than a police officer, and those cops had as much interest in upholding the law (does the Congo have laws?) as James Harden does in playing defense.
LBS- Days after going viral for ripping stat nerds and bat-flippers, the Hall of Fame reliever decided to throw the NFL’s reigning MVP under the bus.
“It’s a shame, it breaks my heart to see the direction this game is going. What, do we want a bunch of Cam Newtons running around?” Gossage told the New York Post’s Kevin Kernan. Gossage is upset about all the players who celebrate on the field, such as Jose Bautista, whose bat flip in the playoffs became legendary. Not satisfied ripping just baseball players, he decided to go cross-sports to the NFL and blast Newton, who is a divisive player because of his celebratory ways. Gossage isn’t alone in the way he feels. There are many sports fans who are similarly old school, and Gossage feels like he is sticking up for the old guard. While he was at it, Gossage also explained why he doesn’t like instant replay. “No manager can run on the field anymore and kick dirt on the umpire,” Gossage told the Post. “That was exciting. That was part of the game. That woke everybody up and everybody loved it. “Now you sit there for five minutes and wait for a f—ing replay. And half the time, you can’t even tell.” I am not even going to get into how ironic it is that Goose Gossage is on the verge of a heart attack due to his hatred of bat flips, but whole heartedly supports managers running out of the dugout, throwing temper tantrums, and kicking dirt on umpires. Not only does that hypocrisy speak for itself, but it's pretty much par for the course with old retired people that are looking for any reason to start every story with "Back in MY day...". I would much rather talk about how awful Cam Newton is as a person. I mean, can you even believe this guy? Baseball used to be a gentleman's game until he came along and started celebrating after touchdowns. Pretty much sparked the entire bat flipping phenomenon all by himself. Probably hasn't picked up a baseball bat since he played TeeBall, but that doesn't mean he can't spend the offseason giving secret seminars on how to flip it juuuuust enough to get under the skin of cranky old white dudes. As if it wasn't enough that the NFL MVP was already ruining football with his orchestrated dance moves, now he has to infiltrate a league that he's not even associated with? Just creating a bunch of Dominican clones of himself and convincing them to run around the baseball diamond spreading the ways of the dab. How dare he? Before we know it he will have singlehandedly murdered sportsmanship. NBA games will begin to more closely resemble 'Dancing With The Stars'. The NHL will essentially turn into 'Disney On Ice' following every goal. Baseball will become a goddamn bat tossing contest. Forget football, he's already turned that into his own personal ballet recital. Cam Newton - with the help of instant replay apparently - is ruining professional sports, and quite possibly the world as we know it.
NYPost- Not even LeBron James could save Johnny Manziel from himself.
As friends and insiders close to the disgraced quarterback tell Sports Illustrated, red flags began to wave the moment Manziel blew off his longtime pal’s guidance. “When he had LeBron James as a mentor, texting him all the time, hanging out at his house watching football, and Johnny didn’t listen to his advice? That’s when I knew he had a problem,” a source revealed in a strongly detailed SI piece depicting Manziel’s downfall. Now it all makes sense! People are criticizing Johnny Manziel for having his mouth permanently affixed to a liquor bottle and not understanding what an honor it is to play in the NFL, and they are completely ignoring the fact that his mentor was LeBron James. Of course he got driven to drink. If LeBron was showing up to your house to watch football and hear himself talk then you would do a double take at the bottle of whiskey in the corner too. If there's one thing worse than having the friend that never stops texting you it's having the friend that just decides to give you unwanted life advice, and LeBron is both those people. Has anyone paid attention to the Cavaliers this year? LeBron James idea of mentorship is subliminally tweeting vague, disparaging comments about his teammates. It's a testament to Kyrie Irving's will power that he isn't an alcoholic at this point too. I would be surprised if Kevin Love wasn't slipping a little vodka in his Gatorade bottle. It would certainly explain his confusion on the defensive side of the ball. How could he not be drinking when he spends so much time with someone as insufferable, self-important, and outspoken as LeBron James? The only reason that LeBron would ever assume a mentorship is role is because it allows him to talk more, and in turn allows him to talk about himself more. I am not saying that Johnny Manziel isn't responsible for the downfall of his own career. I am just saying that he was enabled along the way, and no one enables selfishness quite like the most high maintenance, insecure "leader" in all of professional sports. |
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