You know, technically he's not wrong. There is no link between football and CTE. They simply do not have a close relationship. Football followed the fist rule of engaging in shady business tactics and that is to always have a middle man. That middle man is concussions. As Cris Carter would put it, concussions are the NFL's fall guy. Of course prolonged brain trauma is related to CTE, but the sport that causes prolonged brain trauma is merely CTE's distant cousin as far as I am concerned. CTE is a friend of a friend of National Football League. They may know of each other, but they don't interact without their good buddy concussions. That means that when it comes to their connection you have to go down at least one more link down on the chain. Now they may be in conjunction with another to shorten or even prematurely end the lives of both current and former athletes, but to claim that they have a separate, distinct relationship is factually untrue. I know the only thing absurd about this story is Jerry Jones' claim in and of itself, but that doesn't mean that I can't appreciate what Jerry Jones did. Everyone needs a Jerry Jones in their life. He's the friend that you go to when you just need someone to say "yes". Sure, it's important to have the friends that give it to you straight, but if you always went to them then you would have no one to enable your questionable behavior. The NFL knows that if it needs someone to make them feel better about themselves then they will always have Jerry Jones. He's the guy that will always be on their side. The guy that will blindly support them no matter what. The main reason that's true is because they put billions upon billions of dollars in his pocket, but that doesn't change the fact that Jerry Jones is the best friend a guy like Roger Goodell could have.
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Such an NFL decision. They are always one step too far ahead in maintaining their players safety. Sacrificing the integrity of the game well before it's necessary just so they can make sure their athletes have long successful careers. Don't they understand how hard it is to be an offensive lineman in this day in age? With all these defensive lineman holding all the time it's damn near impossible to create running lanes without potentially snapping an opponent's ACL by blindly hitting him below the knee. It's honestly getting embarrassing at this point. ANOTHER rule change to help the defense? Why don't they just allow them to play with an extra safety while they are at it? I can't believe they would continue to pander to the fans by creating less scoring. It's like they don't understand how hard it already is to put up numbers in today's NFL. So a couple guys get hurt in ways that are made completely avoidable by this new ruling. Couldn't they have just given them a stern warning and told them to only chop block safely before they instituted a rule that changes the entire dynamic of the game? How were the Giants supposed to get a ground game going with their mediocre running backs if Geoff Schwartz and his subpar co-linemen weren't allowed to dive at the legs of 300 pound men moving at full speed? You ever think of that NFL? Well, did ya? P.S. This may shock everyone, but I am not exactly 100% versed in the NFL rulebook. If I had to put it another way I would say my understanding of it is that of an NFL official. I know, pretty lousy, right? I guess the point I am trying to make is that I thought chop blocking was always illegal. Like, I thought there was a penalty specifically called "chop block" and it gave the opposition 15 yards. If all this time there were legal chop blocks AND illegal chop blocks why didn't they just always refer to the former as "cut blocks". Seems like that would make the distinction more clear. On the other hand, it would make it far easier to officiate an NFL game, and that's pretty much the only thing worse than cutting down on the amount of lower body injuries in the NFL.
Yes, I know it is a just a ridiculously vague tweet that's about a week old, but he also deleted about 98% of his Instagram photos that she was in - trust me, that's a lot of deleted photos - annnnnd holy shit, I'm social media stalking an 18 year old Devils prospect... ::takes a moment for self reflection:: Okay, I'm back. Look, I don't know too much about teenage relationships in 2016, but if you go as far as erasing someone from the photographic journal of your life then that shit is OVER. There is no coming back from an Instagram cleansing. I suppose he left the door cracked open by leaving one or two pictures up, but that isn't going to help revive the other 100 he callously spurned forever. I guess this means that either she broke up with him (which would make her an idiot), or that he is an extremely petty and obsessive dude, but either way the deed has apparently been done and now he can be petty and obsessive about the true love of his life, hockey. I said it before, the last thing a young attractive (95% no homo) NHL prospect that's going to be living within 20 minutes of New York City needs is a teenage girlfriend. I don't want to overstate this, but she could have potentially stunted the entire growth of the New Jersey Devils franchise. Not to judge, but girls that look like her require every bit of brain power, and Pavel Zacha needs to keep his mind on hockey. Especially since the matching tattoo he has on his chest says everything I need to know about how much she was calling the shots. It may hurt now Pavel, but you are better off in the long run. That batty, hormonal bitch would have been playing so many mind games that you wouldn't have been able to take a shift without worrying about checking your notifications. You're coming to the land of opportunity my beautifully sculpted Czech prince, and nothing kills opportunities faster than young, hot, needy, possessive women. Rick Fox Thinks eSports Will Be Bigger Than The NHL In Two Years. In Other News, Fuck Rick Fox.3/22/2016
TMZ- Beware NHL fans ... Rick Fox says your sport will be overtaken ... by nerds ... 'cause the "League of Legends" team owner thinks eSports is primed to take hockey's place as the fourth major sport in the U.S. in just TWO YEARS!
We got Rick out at LAX when we asked about the HUGE move in the video game world last week ... when Shaq and Alex Rodriguez announced they bought into eSports franchises. Basically we wanted to know ... how big can this thing get? As big as the NHL according to Rick ... and really soon ... saying in short, in two years eSports can rival the ice riders as the next sport behind the big three. I try to stay out of these cross-sport battles. Partly because I am a fan of all sports equally, but mostly because generally hockey fans are the most politically correct, sensitive, jealous, and petty fans on the planet and it's absolutely painful to associate with them. Seriously, they have an inferiority complex that would make your underdeveloped high school girlfriend's head spin. With that said, if you tell me that hockey is going to be challenged in the sports world by something that requires ZERO athletic ability then I have no choice but to speak up. So kiss my black ass Rick Fox, and I feel comfortable saying that because his ass is just as black as mine. I know eSports is growing rapidly. I know it's becoming quite the phenomenon. However, you can't possibly watch a Stanley Cup Playoff game and tell me a bunch of gamers sitting on a stage button mashing is going to be more popular than - unquestionably - the most entertaining postseason in professional sports. Not in two years, and not in ten years. I am not even saying it won't - at one point - become bigger than the NHL. I am saying that I better be rotting in the ground by the time that becomes a genuine concern. If eSports is gungho on trying to fulfill some societal demand for watching people stand in place and play with themselves then Major League Baseball has far more to worry about than the National Hockey League. Not only does hockey have an extremely loyal following, but it has an extremely loyal following that will not hesitate to hate any other form of entertainment purely out of spite. So you can scratch them from the list of people tuning into eSports, because hockey fans will swear off video games completely if it means saving it's precious little baby's rightful place among the four major sports. They already think that literally every other type of athlete is a big fat pussy, just wait until you see what they have to say about gamers... (I do not endorse this incredibly insecure message.) DailyMail- An 11-year-old boy from South Carolina died after playing a pass-out challenge game online.
Da'Vorius Gray was found dead in his home last week. His mother, Latrice Hurst, said her son was playing games called hangman and pass-out challenge where kids choke themselves to the point of passing out, according to WYFF 4. Hurst is now encouraging other parents to monitor their children's social media. In a statement released through her pastor, Hurst said children should use social media 'with extreme adult supervision'. 'If I could rewind time I would go back and monitor heavily his use of social media, YouTube and the Internet. 'He was on a sight called 'kick' and had been playing games called 'hangman' and pass-out challenge where kids choke themselves to the point of passing out and it is apparently a widely popular game.' Well if this isn't a sign of the times I don't know what the hell is. This story isn't funny for a myriad of reasons. The first one being that this kid was only 11 years and likely had no idea what the fuck he was doing, but he was going to do it anyway because he thought "everyone" (AKA the ten people that probably didn't do it, but lied and said they did to sound cool to people they have never interacted with in person) else was. The other reason this story isn't funny is because it shows just how dumb we have gotten as a society. I know it's just a saying but I'll be damned if the phrase "too stupid to live" isn't starting to accurately describe the youth of America. Now, I am not questioning this kid's intelligence. I think the main contributing factor to his death was a sense of curiosity and vulnerability that almost all 11 year olds possess. I am questioning the intelligence of whatever 16-18 year old asshole created an online challenge called 'Hangman' where you literally reenact a common suicide technique because someone dared you to do it on the internet. I don't know much about 11 year olds, but I know they generally don't conjure up games that revolve around self harm. Stupid fucking teenagers that are too dumb to breathe air so they willingly constrict it from their lungs so they can pass out and tell their friends about it do. The real shame in this story - other than a young child needlessly passing away - is that the person that met an early demise wasn't the shithead that thought up the hashtag and turned it into an actual thing. If there is someone that deserved to die it was him (don't mean to be sexist ladies, but this was definitely a guy's idea), because nothing puts an end to a bafflingly dangerous viral phenomenon quite like it's originator accidentally strangling himself to death before he even gets it off the ground. P.S. This might come across as racist and insensitive, but the fact that he's a young black kid taking a baseball picture makes me think of G-Baby, and somehow the death of a fictional kid in a movie where Keanu Reeves is mentoring children (God help us) actually makes this even sadder to me. If John Scott's admission into the NHL All Star Game and subsequent fame from the result have proven anything it's that there's nothing people love more than to be ironic in complete useless public polls. That's why I am putting this one on Cleveland.com. You have to know your audience. As much as the rest of society loves being contrarian, that's how much Cleveland fans enjoy being self loathing. Once you give Johnny Manziel entry into a 'Greatest Cleveland Players Of All Time' tournament you have already made a full blown mockery of your bracket, and you should expect the fans to act accordingly. Especially since Browns fans are probably tired of talking about Jim Brown considering he's the only player they get to bring up when referencing "the good old days".
I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that Johnny Manziel is set to win the whole damn thing. I wouldn't have said that yesterday, but after LeBron unfollowed the Cavaliers on Twitter last night he's ripe for a Final Four upset. Hell, even if he loses in round two he'll still go down as the first 16 seed in history to topple a 1 seed. That's got to count for something, right? I know it counts as the biggest accomplishment of Johnny Football's career. Well, assuming that there is no tournament for 'Least Amount Of Fucks Given', because they wouldn't even need to play the games before letting him cut down those nets. h/t Yahoo
Raise your hand if you had "the postgame interview of the most prominent Asian player in the NBA" for the next time the world would get a Nelly sighting? Really, no one? Not even you Kelly Rowland? That 'Dilemma' must have really come to fruition if Nelly wouldn't even slide you some inside info on his next public appearance. Anyway, good to see he is alive. I feel like he's one of those entertainers where we wouldn't learn about his passing until he didn't show up at the next celebrity basketball game. When Nelly isn't taking every opportunity to remind people that before he was churning out bangers he was a quite the athletic prospect then you know something is up.
I guess the only question is how many millions did 'Country Grammar' gross, because we haven't seen a true money grab from Nelly yet. I mean, he did have a reality show in 2014 that I was unfortunate enough to catch 45 seconds of, but trust me - there's not a chance in hell that's paying for courtside seats. If I had to guess I would say he's still spending that 'E.I.' money, because the second Nelly is starving for a paycheck we will be making this face as he resorts to becoming the sad old man turning cheap 'True Hollywood' tricks...
He looks pretty happy with a small cameo in a Jeremy Lin interview so apparently 'Hot in Herre' isn't yet applicable to the temperature under his collar. Still, it's a little telling that he needed the platform of a once psuedo-famous basketball player to rekindle whatever is left of his dwindling fame. I guess that whole "Bill Gates, Donald Trump, Let me in now!" line never truly worked out. Probably for the best at this point.
P.S. Black really does not crack.
What's that you say? It's a simple typo? Well, let me tell you a little something. If I know anything about anything I know about the complexity of typos, and there is nothing simple about mixing up "back" and "sack". The B and S aren't even close to each other. How about you look at a keyboard for me one time? If this was just a misprint, then the Denver Nuggets would stop worrying about the health of their starting power forward and start concerning themselves whatever intern is typing up the game recaps and making him look weak with fictitious testicle injuries.
That's why I have to believe that this is 100% true, and that Kenneth Faried is suffering from the rarest of conditions. The all too painful 'low sack soreness'. I got to say, I admire his courage in letting that information go public. It's one thing to have high sack soreness. Tons of athletes get that. High sack soreness is just the politically incorrect term for a hernia, but low sack soreness? That's the type of injury that will strike fear into player, franchise, and fan alike. Mostly because even the best urologist in the country can only accurately identify what's responsible for the pain in the bottom of your balls about half the time. Having low sack soreness is like getting a high ankle sprain in the sense that you could be out 2 weeks, or you could be out the rest of the year. Actually, now that I think about it in that regard it's much the same as 'low back soreness' too, go figure. All I know is that the junkiest part of Kenneth Faried's junk hurts and you don't step foot on a basketball court until at least a week after all signs of nut pain have been vanquished. So let me be the first to say that my thoughts and prayers go out to Kenneth Faried's scrotum, because no one deserves to deal with an ailment that won't let you think about anything other than your sexual reproductive health. Scott Wedgewood Got A Shoutout From A Familiar Face After His First Career NHL Win On Sunday3/22/2016
One start. One win. One social media acknowledgement from one of the most famous Seinfeld cameos in in the show's history. Let's just say careers of 4th string NHL goaltenders - 3rd if you don't count Yann Danis as a person (I wouldn't blame you) - have definitely started off worse. Wedge played a hell of a game, but his accomplishment really must have started to feel special once he got an online pat on the ass from the man on his mask. I think this is pretty much standard operating procedure. Someone memorializes the role that launched your career in front of the millions of people (okay fine, thousands. It WAS Devils/Blue Jackets after all) during a professional sporting event and you have to voice your support for them. Those are just the 'Rules Of Engagement', and they are rules that must have Scott Wedgewood on cloud 9 after getting the unexpected call-up, making the most of it, and having at least one relevant celebrity catch wind of it. All I know is that whether it's been in Albany or New Jersey, Wedgwood has done his part for the Devils, but don't take my word for it...
YardBarker- In fact, reports from the Guardian indicate the league is looking in to extending is “Rooney Rule” to include gender as well as race in the future. The idea would be to require all NFL teams to interview at least one woman candidate for certain positions within the organization, although exact details aren’t worked out at this point.
This was an idea that commissioner Roger Goodell even brought up back in February. Apparently, the idea for this extension came after some of the league’s top executives attended a women’s career development symposium. “It only made sense to extend the rule to include gender diversity for league office executive positions,” said Robert Gulliver, the NFL’s chief human resources officer. “If you think outside the NFL, a lot of major organizations have announced in the last year similar efforts to extend something like the Rooney rule. Here’s an opportunity for clubs to adopt this as a best practice, and we are excited about the opportunity to have some more thoughtful dialogue with the clubs.” The Rooney Rule? The goddamn Rooney Rule! How could that have slipped my mind? I was sitting here thinking that women were never going to get a fair shake in the NFL hiring process, and I totally forgot about the Rooney Rule. I mean, it's basically foolproof. Just ask every one of the five African American Head Coaches in the NFL. They'll tell you. Their employment had nothing to do with their well known qualifications and every thing to do front office members being forced into giving them courtesy interviews. Why wouldn't the same work for women? Hell, why would we even stop at women? What about the gays? And you can't dismiss the rest of the L's, the B's, and the T's? What about midgets? I am sure they would love to climb atop someone's shoulders that direct players from the sidelines. The blind? The deaf? The physically impaired? I think every NFL franchise should have to conduct 15-20 interviews - to varying minorities they have no intention of hiring - before they start seeing to the 5 old heterosexual white dudes and the one token black guy they already had in their crosshairs in the first place. That will fix all the inequality that exists in the front office. After all, women - much like African Americans - don't need to be considered for jobs, they just need to think they are being considered for jobs. Isn't that all this is about? Making the public believe that every person - independent of race, gender, or sexuality - stands the same chance of holding one of those precious NFL positions. I know it's not about actually fixing some perceived injustice. If it were I am pretty sure a predominantly black league would have more than a handful of black coaches. That would be what's "fair", right? It's not that I am against giving women a chance to work in the NFL if they have what it takes, but I just think wasting everyone's time with women that don't gave what it takes - just to say that you did - is a bit disingenuous. Especially since the NFL is too cutthroat of a business not to hire the best man - or woman - for the job, regardless of race , color, or creed.
Hey Dino, do me favor and pass me the microphone you so frequently abuse the right of being given, thanks... ::testing, 1, 2, 3:: Hello folks, I am just here to say that a support a woman's right to host a sports talk radio show. Hold on, hold on. Before you shower me with praise let me finish my statement, because the reasoning behind the statement might not be complementary as the statement itself. I am not saying that a woman could adequately host a sports talk radio show that men want to listen to. I don't know if a woman is capable of engaging that type of audience and pandering to the demographic of people that still listen to sports talk radio. What I do know is that women absolutely deserve an opportunity, because they can't possibly be any worse than the men who do it now. To be clear, the current state of sports radio is utter dogshit. I know that because if it wasn't utter dogshit then some shock jock - aptly named Dino - wouldn't be tweeting misogynistic nonsense out of the clear blue. If sports radio - as an industry - was flourishing he wouldn't be making outrageous proclamations with the sole intention of getting people to tune in out of spite. You know, basically the same thing 90% of all sports talk radio hosts do. Just flooding the airwaves with absolutely ludicrous opinions because they are so castrated by the restrictions and censorship of AM and FM stations that it's the only way they can produce captivating content. Dino might be a sexist pig. Hell, he might even be a sexist pig that kinda, sorta has a point. What he is not is a sexist pig that hosts a sports radio show that can get ratings based entirely on the merit of his work. So I am just going to sit back and listen to one of the many podcasts I enjoy instead of listening to multiple grown men discuss contrived viewpoints that are sure to fire up disgruntled white dudes ages 35-65, but while I do, don't forget that I am in full support of a woman's right to host sports talk radio. Mostly just because I won't be listening anyway.
Yahoo- "I've been using it for the last five years," Howard said. "It hasn't been a problem. I don't know why people are making a big deal out of it. I do it every game. It's not a big deal. I ain't even tripping."
As Howard was about to check back into the game, he sprayed his hands at the scorer’s table with a can covered in white tape – apparently to hide its contents. He entered the game as Paul Millsap was at the free-throw line and grabbed the ball after a made first attempt. When Millsap got the ball back it clearly had a foreign substance on it. “I’ve never felt the ball like that ever,” Millsap said after the game. “It was sticky. It was like super glue or something was on there. I couldn’t get it off my hands. It was the weirdest thing ever.” Official Monty McCutchen grabbed the ball and went to each bench to issue a warning, saying ‘Stickum is illegal in the NBA.’ After first going to the Hawks bench he made his way toward the Rockets bench. Rockets coach J.B. Bickerstaff slid in front of the can, still at the scorer’s table. McCutchen noted he knew what Bickerstaff was hiding. Classic. Classic Dwight Howard. It honestly does not get any more Dwight Howard than this. He is the best in the business at doing whatever the hell he wants - for no apparent reason - even if it's ridiculously damaging to his career. Remember when Dwight Howard demanded out of Orlando? Then 6 minutes later he signed an extension to continue playing in Orlando? Then 6 minutes after that he was crying to get traded out of Orlando again? That whole situation was the beginning of the end of his happy-go-lucky reputation. The botched contract decision made absolutely no sense whatsoever, and it turned Dwight Howard from a fan favorite dunking in 'Superman' capes to the most disrespected superstar in the NBA. Now compare that to him getting busted using Stickum, but before you do, take a listen to what one of his peers has to say...
You can treat Steven Adams jab about free throw shooting as a joke if you want, but it's 100% true. It's far harder to shoot a basketball - or anything for that matter- when your hands feel like you just beat off into them. That's a fact. Take a look at Dwight Howard's free throws. In comparison to the rest of guys in the NBA that can't hit an uncontested 15 foot shot, he has a relatively fundamentally sound stroke. If I knew nothing about him and you only showed me his release I would even say he's an above average foul shooter. Alas, he is not and it's probably because he is willingly undermining his own ability to shoot by spraying his hands with a mild adhesive.
Now tell me, how does Dwight Howard benefit from using Stickum? He's a 7 foot athletic specimen. If Zues was black and self conscious about his muscle tone he would photoshop his shoulders to look like Dwight Howard's shoulders. His hands are so goddamn big that when I looked for a picture of them I thought I accidentally enlarged the browser. I wouldn't be surprised if only his hands got busted for using HGH. He was probably palming a basketball before he was wiping his own ass. Why the hell would he need stickum? Short answer: He really doesn't. So he's basically been costing his team points at the line, while constantly using an illegal substance to help him in an area of his game that he doesn't even need help in. Dwight Howard, the undisputed champion of doing things that make absolutely no sense strictly because he wants to even though it's clearly terrible for his career. What a fucking title to hold. P.S. Unbelievably cocky move to spray his hands at the scorer's table and then immediately demand that he touches the ball before it got passed back to Paul Millsap. Didn't even give it a chance to dry. It's like he was begging to get caught. I honestly think the only answer it was that he is actually seeking new ways to get people to hate him. I know this might sound ridiculous, but is the swap of Stefan Matteau for Devante Smith-Pelly the most lopsided short term trade in the history of the NHL? Before you call me an idiot, I want you to find a trade that was so clearly won by one team within three weeks of it taking place. Canadiens fans are already skeptical of why Matteau was even drafted in the first place...
And the Devils offense is currently riding the coattails of someone they acquired in exchange for a player that was a franchise afterthought...
I'm not saying that the Devils pulled a fast one and picked up the next Corey Perry, but the fact that Stefan Matteau has continued to be completely useless only exacerbates how awesome Devante Smith-Pelly has been since arriving in New Jersey. People will be quick to call his numbers a fluke, but they are only somewhat correct. DSP isn't a player that you can depend upon to put a point per game and carry your offense. He is, however, a player you can depend upon to forecheck hard, create space for his line mates, and battle in the hard areas of the ice. Look no further than his goal last night to see what he has brought to the table...
What some may see as a garbage goal, I see as a goal that Devils wouldn't have scored without his toughness and determination in front to the net. Simply put, the Devils have lacked a capable big body that can push people around and still has the ability to put pucks in the net. Stefan Matteau was supposed to be that player, but Devante Smith-Pelly IS that player. No, he's not going to be a 30 goal scorer, but on a good team - which the Devils hope to be in the near future - he's a solid 3rd line contributor. That's something Stefan Matteau was never even remotely close to achieving, and it's something that fills a valuable hole in the Devils lineup.
I think we are close enough to the end of the season to declare Ray Shero's first year as the Devils General Manager a success. The guy didn't exactly turn water to wine, but he at least created a malt liquor-like buzz within the organization. The Devils overachieved in nearly every sense of the world, and more importantly, almost every move he made worked out to varying degrees. It can't be overstated how badly he robbed the Ducks of Kyle Palmieri. Sergey Kalinin was signed out of nowhere and filled in valiantly in bottom six duties. The signing of Lee Stempiak - a player no one else wanted - eventually returned two key assets. He got Eric Gelinas the fuck out of town, and even hoodwinked the Avalanche into giving up a 3rd round pick for him. And last, but not least, he got Devante Smith-Pelly in exchange for the soft, white, overrated version of Devante Smith-Pelly. He wasn't exactly given much to work with, but he's made the most out of what he was, and that's all you can ask out of a man in his position. Judging by every picture he has ever taken, he is not satisfied with the work he's done, so while this offseason will be crucial, for once I am actually heading into it optimistic. Snatching Water Bottles Away From Their Water Boy Is Apparently The Toronto Raptors New Thing3/21/2016 Despite this guy's looks and mannerisms, I'm pretty sure this water boy is dealing from a full deck of cards unlike his fictional motion picture predecessor. That's why it's awesome that Kyle Lowry and Co. have included him in a team wide gag. This dude is absolute in on the joke, and fact that he makes it look like he isn't makes it that much funnier. The only alternative would be that the Toronto Raptors are getting a laugh at the expense of someone who is mentally handicapped, and I am willing to give them the benefit of the doubt that that's not the case. It's got to be tough being a tertiary part of a sports team. Sure, you get to spend your days around professional athletes, but it's very easy to get treated like you don't exist. Considering this dude doesn't have a starring role in the script or an insane amount of retard strength like Bobby Boucher, his cameos in short viral videos are the most camera time he is going to get. It's not like the players are drunkenly punching him in the face (shoutout to Blake Griffin), they are just ripping Dasani's out his hand and creating a non-existent controversy in the process. It's better to be a part of the joke - even if it's the butt - then to be on the outside of every joke taking place inside the organization. The fact that the Toronto Raptors decided to include the water boy in this stunt just goes to show that they acknowledge him as a person, and I would be willing to bet that's not the case in every NBA locker room. P.S. The hair, the fully buttoned shirt, and the gloves are such solid dedication to the role...I think/hope. Metro- A woman who fought off her sex attacker with her house keys has been given a bravery award.
The 21-year-old was stalked for a mile through Sheffield by Jonathon Holmes before he pushed her into bushes and tried to rape her. He told her ‘you are going to enjoy this’ before she used her keys to cut his face and bit down on his tongue saying ‘you won’t do that to a woman again’. South Yorkshire Police superintendent Scott Green told the woman: ‘You displayed an astonishing level of bravery during this investigation, your actions undoubtedly deterred the offender from continuing his assault and your detailed recollection of such a traumatic event, led to the arrest, conviction and imprisonment of a very dangerous criminal. ‘As a husband, as the father of a daughter and behalf of every woman in this city, I commend you. ‘On behalf of South Yorkshire Police we recognise your bravery, selflessness and truly outstanding courage in helping make this city a safer place for every woman in it.’ Shoutout to this woman who showed an unbelievable amount of composure, toughness, and of course bravery, in fighting off her would be rapist. She deserves every award and accolade she is given for not only getting out of a dangerous situation unscathed, but inflicting damages that ultimately got her attacker imprisoned before he could attempt such an egregious crime against someone else. That being said, sometimes being the worst at something is just as impressive as being the best at something. So as noteworthy as this woman's actions were, the full grown dude whose face she battered into ambiguity deserves a shoutout too. With the intelligence, or lack thereof, that is necessary to try to have nonconsensual sex with someone, it takes an effort of epically bad proportions to be labeled the world's worst rapist. I don't exactly have the police report on me, but from the looks of that headshot I am going to say he's pushing 6 feet, 240 pounds, and the age of 30. The incredible lack of strength and coordination it takes to get absolutely manhandled by a 21 year old girl walking home by herself late at night when those are your measurables is not something you see everyday. So while he doesn't deserve an award or any sort of praise, he does deserve recognition as the most incompetent person in his field. Especially considering the only requirement of his field is cowardice. Daryl Morey Doesn't Really Want Single Elimination Playoffs, But It's Pretty Fun To Assume He Does3/21/2016
I am going to choose to ignore that the Houston Rockets was more than likely making a joke when he proclaimed that the NBA playoffs should be single elimination. Mostly because I would like to think someone that rich and powerful isn't that stupid, but also because it's just far more entertaining to do so.
That's why we are going to assume that Daryl Morey was being serious when he suggested that the NBA postseason should be shortened to a little over a week. Hmm, why would he say? What would he stand to gain? With consistent superstars - that never take a game off - like James Harden and Dwight Howard it would be silly for him to want the playoffs to become something that the best TEAM doesn't always win. With the effort that James Harden gives game in and game out, on both ends of the floor, it would be a nothing less than a tragedy if one poor shooting night cost his team a chance to advance. With the trust that any rational front office member would have in Dwight Howard to always be at his best it's a wonder why Daryl Morey would think a small sample size would help his franchise. If there is a team that could benefit from single elimination it's definitely not the totally non-enimagtic Houston Rockets. Both of their personalities are basically built for an extensive postseason. It's a shame that their General Manager - and his questionable use of sarcasm - are too short sighted to see that.
I am not trying to take anything away from Bronson Koenig's performance last night. It took huge balls to take and make the game tying shot with the shot clock winding down, and it took a huge swinging dick to have the composure to hit a game winning buzzer beater as he drifted into the arms of his bench. Instead, what I am trying to do is to get Bronson Koenig to stop downplaying his own accomplishments. There's not many things that can make back-to-back clutch 3's that send your team to the Sweet 16 seem like a minor accomplishment, but comparing them to that of one of the most unanimous MVP's in NBA history will do just that. Just keep Steph Curry's name out of this Bronson. Trust me, as soon as you bring him up you make yourself look insignificant. That's not an indictment on you. If the standard is Steph Curry then nothing in the sports world is impressive. People have done what Bronson Koenig did last night. I feel like I see it at least once a year when the tournament rolls around. That doesn't mean it's any less awesome. It just means it's not worthy of comparison to an NBA player who is having a season unlike any we have ever seen. Those shots were otherworldly, so let's not bring people back to Earth by reminding them the stage that they took place on wasn't exactly the biggest.
You know who had more of a reason to cry following Kentucky's loss to Indiana? Yup, you already know what's coming...
This girl may not even know what an 'And 1' even is, but at least she's devoted four years of her life to Kentucky. At least she has a prolonged connection with the University. I'm not sitting here telling you that Jamal Murray can't care about his teammates and the school he played basketball at for one season, I'm telling you he can't possibly care enough that it's culmination brings him to tears. Especially considering he went to Kentucky with the intention of only playing basketball there for 5 months. Imagine if your friend dated a girl that he thought was his soulmate and she inexplicable broke up with him after 5 months. You would think he was the biggest pussy ever if he was crying over a relationship that barely made it out of the honeymoon phase, and that wouldn't even be within his control. If Jamal Murray loves Kentucky so much he can just stay at Kentucky. Now, I don't fault him for leaving and making sure he gets paid to play basketball for as long as possible. I just believe that a second round loss in an evenly matched game is worthy of mourning when the only reason he went Kentucky in the first place was to give him the best chance to play in the NBA as soon as possible. Sorry Jamal, that's the trade off. When you choose to go to a school strictly to win a National Championship and bounce to the pros people don't care about your feelings when you don't win that National Championship. Wipe your tears buddy, you'll be getting paid in no time.
And to think, all it took was giving an AHL goaltender his first career start and playing with a defensive corps that looked like a corpse of it's former self. If you had told me at the beginning of the season that the Devils would struggle desperately to pull out a win over the Columbus Blue Jackets I wouldn't have been too surprised. That's because everyone expected them to struggle desperately to pull out each and every one of their wins. So while the Devils 1-4 record against the Blue Jackets lived up to preseason predictions, it ultimately cost them any semblance of a chance at a playoff berth.
I guess I shouldn't be too surprised. With the lack of top end talent and quality depth on this roster they were always vulnerable to losing to anyone. Unfortunately they haven't just lost to anyone, they have lost to the Columbus fucking Blue Jackets, like, almost every goddamn time. I'm glad the curse has been lifted, but I'm downright distraught that I even had to call it a curse in the first place. It got to the point where I would have rather seen the Los Angeles Kings or the Chicago Blackhawks on the schedule than the Columbus Blue Jackets, and that's not an easy thing to digest. Of all the people to feel helpless against, it was John Tortorella, Nick Foligno, Brandon Dubinsky, and Cam Atkinson that offered the most cause for concern, and I have always fucking hated John Tortorella, Nick Foligno, Brandon Dubinsky, and Cam Atkinson. It's like they dedicated this season to making me miserable, because that's literally all that they accomplished. Well, that and making sure the Devils outside shot at the postseason met an early demise. That win last night didn't even feel like a win. It felt like a cutting of their losses, but considering it helped the Devils avoid becoming the only team in history to get swept by the Blue Jackets in a 5-game season series, I suppose I should be a little more appreciative. Appreciative of a team that vastly overachieved against the rest of the NHL, and barely met the lowest of low expectations - literally by an inch - against some shitty team from the middle of Ohio. I Can't Believe This Is The First Time I Am Saying This But...We've Got A Mall Easter Bunny Fight!!!3/21/2016
Well, talk about a lousy way to find out the Easter Bunny isn't real. I can't say I remember my exact reaction, but I am pretty sure I was a little upset. Not nearly upset as these kids that just found the Easter bunny was a 6'3 black dude with an attitude problem. Talk about ripping the band-aid off. I got my money on at least one of those kids needing therapy in the not-too-distant future. I feel comfortable saying that this incident will one day be dug up on the couch of a psychologist's office. Children have definitely been traumatized by less.
As shocking as this video seems, it's pretty much a minor miracle that this doesn't happen more often. Think about this for a second. You have got whiney kids, pissed off parents that are waiting in a long ass line to get a picture with a fake bunny, and some dude sweating his dick off in a bunny costume as pissed off parents unload their whiney children onto his lap. Doesn't get much more volatile than that. In all honesty, this is probably the mall's fault, because if you put someone that isn't the most understanding person in the world in that precarious of a situation it is bound to result in fisticuffs. I don't know what made this Easter Bunny throw hands, but I know it would probably enrage the average person. At some point every single Easter Bunny has thought to himself "I don't get paid enough for this shit". A properly vetted Easter Bunny would internalize that anger until his shift was over, but you become lackluster with your background checks and you end up with a big black bunny dropping the gloves and charging the ring for Round 2. |
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