Will Muschamp Telling Dabo That Mrs. Swinney Flirted With Him Was Cringeworthy, But Harmless7/27/2016
AGE CHECK: Will Muschamp: 44 Dabo Swinney: 46 Yup, they fit the profile. This wasn't anything malicious or even inappropriate. If you think I am wrong it's because you probably haven't spent enough time around men that are 40+ years of age. I have witnessed far too many Dad conversations to think that this was something more than a "head in your hands" attempt at humor. This is just what middle aged men do. They assume every conversation with a female that isn't their wife is flirting, even if it is nothing more than pleasantries and obviously not going anywhere. They invoke sexual innuendo seemingly out of thin air. Basically - to put it simply - they just make things weird. Sit and listen to your father talk to his buddies for more than 10 minutes and you'll wonder why there isn't a probation officer present. Get a few beers in them and the become the most innocently creepy people on the planet. It's like men become privy to a completely separate code of social acceptability once they reach the point of no return. Dabo's smile and laugh may have been forced, but he's had that same reaction before and will almost certainly have it again shortly. I wouldn't even put odds on him forcing that awkwardness on someone else at the next family BBQ, because it's all but a guarantee. I, much like most people reading this, felt about as uncomfortable in my own skin as one feels approximately 5 minutes after walking through a spider web when I originally watched this, but that's just because it was a harsh look into my distant future.
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LBS- Denver Broncos defensive back Shiloh Keo was arrested back in February for driving while under the influence, and a police camera was rolling while he spewed some entertaining nonsense in the back of a cruiser.
“I see why America is the way it is. … Hey, Obama, can’t wait to meet you, bruh, and tell you about this bulls—,” Keo said to himself. “Holding me in here for f—ing nothing. I haven’t done anything wrong,” he said. “The cop accused me of my tail light being broken. Alright, dude. Don’t worry, I’m gonna get a test for that. I’ll bet my whole NFL salary that that s— ain’t the truth.” Look, I'm not here to play judge and jury. With how much criticism they have received recently, the last thing I want to do is to call into question the motives of law enforcement. That said, Shiloh Keo's defense of the functionality of his brake lights was one of the most convincing cases I have ever heard. Seeing as I am no stranger to deflecting blame, thinking a cop is in the wrong for pulling me over is not something I am unfamiliar with. However, if he tells me I have a busted taillight I am buying it every single time. That's why I stand Shiloh Keo. Shit, if I had to guess he just done changing the bulbs prior to hitting the bar. The level of confidence necessary to threaten to tattle to the President is only surpassed by the level of confidence it takes to stake your entire NFL salary on the performance of a car part you can't visibly see. Sure, the disjointed rambling, overly exaggerated facial expressions, and general inability to shut the fuck up are dead giveaways that he's three sheets to the wind, but don't you dare tell me that wasted asshole doesn't stay up to date with his vehicle maintenance. As far as I can tell, they have cuffed an innocent man. I know he's probably 3x the legal limit, but if all he was originally guilty of was a fabricated moving violation can you really consider it drunk driving? If the best the cops could manufacture as "just cause" was a lie about a broken taillight then he was probably doing a hell of a job of staying in a single lane while seeing double. And people wonder why we're rioting? HA! Calmly apprehending citizens on DUI technicalities is clearly the reason this country is at war with itself. Land of the free, but you can't bravely get behind the wheel of fully operative motor vehicle after a dozen cocktails? Do we even have rights anymore?!? LBS- Lin, who signed a three-year, $36 million deal with the Nets this offseason, has already submitted an application to trademark the phrase “Brook-Lin.”
According to NetsDaily.com, a fan had already applied for the trademark on July 1 but says he willingly transferred it to Lin. If Lin can rediscover some of his old magic in The Big Apple, he had better hope the trademark gets approved quicker than his trademark for “Linsanity” did. Lin’s lawyers had to send cease and desist letters to marijuana shops for selling products like this when the point guard was with the Knicks. As ESPN’s Darren Rovell notes, it took the “Linsanity” trademark more than four years to be approved. I know that this was a fan's application that subsequently got transferred to Lin's name out of the goodness of the originator's heart, but I can't possibly believe that Jeremy Lin didn't have this scenario play out in his mind before he signed on to play with the Nets. That's honestly the only justification - other than a guarantee to start - that I can think of as to why he took a pay cut (relative to his free agent peers) to play for a helpless franchise that's approximately three years away from their next draft pick and about five years away from knowing what hope feels like. Given his Harvard education, I am going to give him the benefit of the doubt and assume that he was simply trying to recreate his glory days when he decided to come back to the Big Apple. Think about it, when was Jeremy Lin at the height of his popularity? That's right, when he was playing in a city that loved it's basketball and had very little to be optimistic about. When he was on a team that gave him free reign over the offense and turned his brand into the most popular Asian commodity since Pokemon and until Pokemon GO. Well, history is cyclical and Jeremy Lin decided to expedite the process of running it back. Except this time he's going to do right. This time he's going to make money off every jersey, shirt, and hoodie embroidered with own personal, ridiculously catchy tagline. The 'Jeremy Lin: Famous In New York' sequel stands to turn out like every other sequel of a classic movie. It's going to have an absurdly familiar plot, it's going to be a disappointment, and - most importantly - it's going to be profitable as fuck. That $12 million a year is nothing compared to what he's going to pocket from a bunch of hipsters rocking 'Brook-Lin' jersey tees simply because a beloved Asian athlete is just unique enough to be embraced by those that value novelty above all else. Cross your fingers ladies and gentleman, because this might be the only thing that can stop a team as talented as the Golden State Warriors. I am not saying it will their achilles heel, but Kevin Durant's inability to play the villain could very well if a storyline if they don't start off as dominant as expected. Just take look at this play right. KD couldn't get through a 50 point blowout against China during the offseason without a cringeworthy attempt at showmanship. In a couple international exhibitions he already has more failed premature celebrations than his new team did all of last year in actual meaningful basketball games. His average can only go up because as of now he's 0-1 on uncharacteristically cocky gestures, but you just know that Steph Curry took a deep breathe and gritted his teeth from the front row when he saw that shot clank off the rim. That right there is not the Warriors way. They may preemptively break out the salt, but they are confident as you can be that there will be a wound to rub it in. Can't say that about the mild mannered, soft spoken superstar that calmly went about his business as a widely praised player in a small market to this point in his career. Real shocking that the guy that wrote "Have Fun" and "Smile" on his shoes during the NBA playoffs looks like a jackass trying to play the bad guy. Can't believe the guy that gave the media the silent treatment after a playoff loss looks uncomfortable as the heel. It probably won't stop his team from bulldozing the NBA, but as it stands Kevin Durant is very evidently cock-unsure and hopefully that leads to some opportunities to make jokes at the expense of his embarrassing portrayal of a villain along the way. Gary Bettman Used Some Scientific Jargon To Dismiss The Connection Between Concussions And CTE7/27/2016 Gary Bettman: “The science regarding C.T.E., including on the asserted ‘link’ to concussions that you reference, remains nascent, particularly with respect to what causes C.T.E. and whether it can be diagnosed by specific clinical symptoms."
You know what they say about ignorance, it's quite blissful. That has never been more true than when the commissioner of a professional sport that pays him close to $10 million/per year to oversee their league has to dance around it's blatantly obvious connection to life threatening head trauma. I don't even blame Gary Bettman. Deny, deny, deny until there is tangible proof showing that repeatedly slamming your head into fiberglass compromises the contents of it. I know it's easy to make the association since playing hockey lends itself to concussions and multiple concussions are the primary cause of CTE, but it's not too difficult to swerve from that line of thinking when the integrity of your business hinges on your ability to take a detour around rational thought. So a couple of former players suffered from clinical depression, couldn't leave their house without sunglasses on for months at a time, and pondered/committed suicide. Whose to say the brain injuries they incurred from violently banging their head on a sheet of ice after colliding with some of the toughest athletes throughout the world had anything to do with that? It might seem like elementary arithmetic but A + B ≠ CTE. Not necessarily anyway, and that's all Gary Bettman really needs to hear. No matter how many safety precautions are taken, hockey is always going to be a dangerous sport that jeopardizes it's participants long term mental health. To what extent? Well, that's for common sense to tell you, not the person whose finances and reputation are staked to a league that entrusts him to illicit all forms of transparent obliviousness to uphold their image. h/t YardBarker DailyMail- When Vanessa Hussle split up with her husband and father of her children, she was understandably heartbroken and secretly hoped they'd one day get back together. She never dreamed that she would eventually end up in a relationship with Paulie - along with his two new 'wives' Hazel, 27, and Lady, 25. But against all odds, Paulie, Vanessa, Hazel and Lady now live together in domestic bliss in New Jersey, with the three women insisting they are the best of friends. The 'foursome' regularly go on dinner dates and even sleep together. And the three 'wives' do everything together, from going to the gym after work, to helping to raise Paulie's three children by Vanessa and Lady. The four lovers have all adopted the surname Hussle, and Paulie has even had t-shirts made for the women with the words 'Sister Wives' and 'Pauliegamy' emblazoned on them. Vanessa, Hazel and Lady even have matching tattoos of Paulie's face between their breasts. I'm not here to discuss whether or not the idea of having three wives is much better in theory than in practice. I have zero wives, and he is the 'Lord of The Wives' so I think he might just know a bit more about matrimony than myself. That's why I can't knock Paulie Hussle...even if those dreadful, mid-parted cornrows lead me to question his decision making abilities. He does, however, have some things to learn about multiplicity and who better to teach him than Wu Tang Financial... Replace 'bonds' with 'broads' and you have my main complaint with Paulie's choice of lifestyle. I mean, there's something to be said for having a type and knowing what you like, but life can get pretty bland if you don't season it with a little variety. I'm not saying that every curvaceous brunette with a caramel complexion and a tattoo of your face between their tits is a carbon copy of the next, but they probably start to become a blur in the bedroom rather quickly. The 'Lord' title is appropriate because it takes a man of royalty to put up with 3 different women with 3 distinct, yet bipolar personalities while not even getting a myriad of sexual experiences out of it. For Christ's sake man. Mix in some blonde hair and blue eyes. Maybe spice things up with a redhead. Want to make life really interesting? Stop being so biased towards the light skinned and bring in a dark skinned black girl. I don't doubt that he loves every one of the these chicks. but it won't be long before the novelty of a contractually obligated orgy wears off and he just feels like he's seeing triple every time he gets laid. You can probably ride the honeymoon period out a bit longer with a 3rd and 4th wheel, but it will inevitably end. When it does you can bet your sweet ass that Paulie will wish he satisfied more than one fetish with his choice of life partners. DailyMail- A chain of seafood restaurants has drawn outrage by comparing Hillary Clinton to 'cold fish' - a term used in reference to someone who shows no emotion. Legal Sea Foods, based in Boston, Massachusetts, ran the full-page ad in newspapers of the area on Monday. The ad comes as part of a larger advertising campaign that began in March and chronicles Legal Sea Foods CEO Roger Berkowitz's fictional run for president. Ahhh, I see the confusion here. 'Cold fish' and 'dead fish' sound like fairly similar insults, and calling the first ever female Presidential candidate a lazy lover isn't exactly the most politically correct way to run your fake campaign. That said, the only thing that is truly sexist about this comedic ad is the reaction to it. You'll never confuse me with the biggest feminist on the block, but its seems to me that assuming every slight made towards a woman is in reference to her abilities in the bedroom is more sexist than a harmless figure of speech. Hey lunatics, put down your burning torches because not every joke made at the expense of someone with a vagina has to include sexual innuendo. Men and women were created equal, but disparaging idioms that feature deceased marine life undoubtedly were not. The fact of the matter is that Hillary Clinton does sound like a distant, emotionless person when she speaks and that's coming from someone that hopes - due to lack of better options - that she becomes President. By definition, that makes her a 'cold fish', and someone can't take even one second to understand that maybe there are reasons to dislike Hillary Clinton that have absolutely nothing to do with her gender are the ones that are really promoting a culture of inequality. I suppose Roger Berkowitz could have taken a safer road that led to less miscommunication, but it's not his fault that society would rather look for a reason to bitch and moan than for a reason to laugh. Plus, this road led to far more publicity which was the entire point of his faux campaign trail in the first place. The CEO of a successful high end seafood chain may not be at liberty to say it, but I will. If Hillary Clinton wasn't ALSO a dead fish would Slick Willy have been out there pussy poppin' every semi-passable intern with exorbitantly priced stogies? Maybe yes, maybe no, but the only reason the answer to that question is even up for debate is due to the fact that she's a cold fish. P.S. I think I like this guy... Metro- Mariah Carey reportedly demands that her own music is played as she walks into restaurants.
Somehow this rumour doesn’t surprise us. Mariah is currently on holiday in Italy, and reports claim she happened to stroll into Ristorante Aurora in Capri just as one of her songs came on on the sound system. One onlooker told the New York Post: ‘She literally had an entrance song.’ Sources say she dined with her fiance James Packer and eight others, while her music was reportedly blasted out all night. Look, I wouldn't blame you for disliking the person responsible for it, but don't you dare tell me that - in your heart of hearts - you hate this move. In fact, if - at any point in your life - you EVER enjoyed professional wrestling even a little bit then you can't hate this move. I refuse to lend that opinion any credence if it's coming from a person that used to jump out of their seat when Stone Cold audibly ran through a sheet of glass or The Rock started getting the sniffles. Is Mariah Carey having her own music played as he walks into a restaurant narcissistic, egotistical, pompous, conceited, and whatever other self-affectionate adjective you can think of? Of course it is! That's what it takes to reach true celebrity and the day that Mariah Carey gives upon having her own musical cue will be the day that she's no longer worthy of that special treatment. Hold on and hold on tight Mariah. Your star may be fading quickly, but we can still get a glimpse of the remaining 'Glitter' when your introductory strut amongst the common folks has it's own score. I didn't realize it until this very second but having my own life soundtrack is a dream of mine, and I'll be damned if I am going to criticize the woman that stole my heart (and masturbatory innocence) with 'Honey' for living that dream. KCEN- At Pip's Original Doughnuts & Chai in Northeast Portland, owner Nate Snell is hiring.
“I want people who are passionate about what they sell,” said Snell. “If you can't eat it, how can you be passionate about it?” So in the posting, Snell specified no “non-medical, non-religious dietary restrictions” that would stop employees from tasting the product and describing it to customers. “If the employee was to say something like ‘well, I don't eat meat or I don't eat gluten, or I don't eat nuts or dairy,’ any one of those things would preclude them from being able to give you an honest answer of what that tastes like or how good it is,” said Snell. The job listing caught fire, not for its $12 to $13 starting wage or the extra $30 per paycheck for employees to donate to charity. People on social media were posting that Pip's discriminates against vegans. In reviews and posts left on the Pip's Facebook page the backlash was immediate. NO! Say it ain't so Pip's, say it ain't so! Discriminatory hiring practices? How could you?!?! Expecting your employees that will be required to spend the entirety of their shift happily working with doughnuts and other pastries to actually enjoy doughnuts and other pastries? Demanding that your workers have at least the most basic of knowledge about what they are expected to sell? What year is it? Has a bakery's interview process set us back to the days of segregation by treating self-important buzzkills with minimalistic diets differently than normal people with the occasional sweet tooth? Let me guess, they are expected to wash the gluten-free option down with the dirty hydration from the 'Vegan Only' water fountain out in the back alley too? In all seriousness though, Nate Snell is being kind of prejudice here. The problem here is that the wrong people are feeling marginalized. You see, he's not being prejudice against your average, run-of-the-mill vegan. He's prejudice against masochistic vegans that want to spend all day working amongst the intoxicating aroma of a doughnut shop without allowing themselves to satisfy that craving free of charge. Personally, I don't blame him. It's take a real wildcard to subject themselves to that kind of torture. I don't know who fits the description as the type to absolutely lose it on a customer or become an insufferable asshole, but I would imagine the person that intentionally exposes themselves to the most appetite inducing of smells without the ability to gratify it would be at high risk. God forbid the happy-go-lucky owner of a Portland doughnut shop jeopardized .000001% of the population's ability to earn a minimum wage paycheck at his place of business by preemptively making sure his staff is free of salad obsessed self-harmers. P.S. As far as small time gigs go, Pip's seems like an absolute blast to work at. Enjoy your nuts and berries losers... PIP’S BENEFITS!
I know, I know. It sounds crazy, but I think I am legitimately starting to come around on the NFL's prohibition of a widely legalized recreation drug that neither enhances an athlete's performance or decreases their lifespan. Of course I realize that it seems completely out of place on the banned substances list. How could I not recognize how silly it is to discipline the most violent of competitors for using of a fairly harmless substance that has proven beneficial in the recovery process? I would have to be ignorant to not understand how far weed smoking is from fitting the mold of what a punishable offense should be. That said, as of now we simply don't have a more relevant intelligence test for football players than pissing in a cup. How else are we going to determine if a player has what it takes upstairs to make it in the NFL? Everyone knows the Wonderlic is a joke. The inability to do a 6th grade word problem isn't some kind of foolproof warning sign of what you should (or shouldn't) expect from a player once he gets on the gridiron. The will power and decision making necessary to refrain from using marijuana for a couple years? That's a very different story. The act of smoking weed can be a lot of things. A habit. A hobby. A bonding experience. A nightcap. An appetizer. One thing it's not, however, is an addiction. That means the Randy Gregory's, Josh Gordon's, and (potentially) Le'Veon Bell's of the league made a conscious, voluntary choice to risk their limited career window for a temporary high. It might be a high that can help cure aches and pains, but it's not a high that should be worth their livelihood. The players that can't wrap their head around that concept - no matter how antiquated it is - simply don't have the brain power required to make millions of dollars as a semi-public figure. Even this idiot comprehends that...
And there you have it. The inherent problem with groups of white friends. They inevitably include one person that has easy access to a watercraft and they inevitably include one person that can't drink 8-10 beers and take a joke without swinging on someone. Taking a relaxing trip out to sea to bask in the sun while downing an innumerable amount of cold ones almost always sounds like a good plan. However, the idea of doing so usually takes precedence over the fact that seclusion and belligerence are a volatile combination. You just know every single person on that boat considered this a likely ending to a lovely afternoon, but they intentionally suppressed that thought in their mind so as to enjoy a summer weekend with friends. You see that fat kid in the turquoise bathing suit? That's the waddle of a man whose wasted far too many nights breaking up far too many scuffles between these same two idiots over the years. I know he just got done battling gravity, but that attempt to interfere was so begrudged that it made Daria look like a gym class hero. Truth be told, I don't even blame him. That was the most fruitless cat fight between white people on a boat since a couple Becky's brought the claws out in an effort to be the first mouth on Kyrie Irving's penis during his post-championship yacht party. Until the antenna got swung that altercation was far too funny to take seriously. Either way, this was a pretty predictable conclusion to a bunch of young caucasians binge drinking in a remote location. Far more predictable than the fact that this group of losers was able to convince three young women - no matter what they look like - to willingly join them... PageSix- LeBron James isn’t showing a lot of love to Kobe Bryant — his predecessor as the world’s greatest basketball player.
James produces the comedy “Survivor’s Remorse” — about a poor black kid who suddenly gets a multimillion-dollar NBA contract — on Starz. In an episode airing in two weeks, team owner Jimmy Flaherty (played by Chris Bauer) says, “People will not pay to watch an a–hole play basketball.” “Survivor’s Remorse” writer Mike O’Malley said at a sneak peek of the episode that neither he nor LeBron put that line in the script, even though “I am a Boston Celtics fan and Kobe Bryant broke my heart over and over.” O’Malley said, “No, Jessie Usher ad-libbed it. Let’s just call it a gentle ribbing… LeBron and Kobe are friends off the court, and LeBron has great respect for Kobe.” I am not writing this to build some fictitious rift between Kobe and LeBron. Mostly because Kobe is now retired and LeBron is now untouchable so it's basically pointless to do so, but also because I genuinely believe that this line was casually ad-libbed during production. No harm, no foul...unless you consider the integrity of this show, because that just got tossed in the garbage and immediately taken out to the curb. People won't pay to watch an asshole play basketball? Generally having a controversial line directed at one of the most divisive athletes of all time leak prior to the premiere would boost interest, but not when that line is so patently false that it compromises the viewer's ability to suspend disbelief. I don't even know a damn thing about this show. Never even heard about it before today. That said, I now have no inclination to watch it if the team owner in it doesn't even understand how egos work. If I was forced to choose between paying to watch assholes and paying to watch cordial guys I would take the assholes 10x over. Everyone either loves an asshole or loves to hate an asshole and that makes an asshole's participation in any form of professional competition must watch television. Hell, if there is one thing you CAN count on a asshole for it's to be worth the price of admission. Nice guys might not always finish last, but they do when it comes to ratings. So if they are trying to instill affable tendencies into the main character of 'Survivor's Remorse' then they can consider my viewership the one that got away, because 'Ballers' already fulfills my quota of poorly written, hardly believable, sports centric entertainment. I Probably Wouldn't Feel Comfortable Drinking The Water In Rio, But Their Cocaine Seems Legit7/26/2016
I'll be the first one to tell you I am not a big coke guy so my knowledge of international narcotics might be a bit limited. In fact, if for some reason I traveled to Rio to watch the Olympics and felt the undying need to immerse myself in the culture by enjoying one of their most prevalent exports I could just as easily get tricked into buying a bag of baking soda cut with table salt. But you know what? After the inevitable sodium induced nosebleed I wouldn't even feel bad about my purchase. Not because the "high" was worth the money, but because the marketing campaign was absolutely flawless. That might be nothing more than some C- blow, but it came in A+ packaging. I don't know too much about drug dealers, but I do know the ones that have labels on their products are always more legitimate. Especially in South America where I assuming there isn't a FedEx Kinko's every half mile. The dedication that bunch of drug pushers showed in advertising their brand is almost too praiseworthy not to donate to. We are talking about corner dwellers that took the time to include an age warning! If that's not worthy of the label "street pharmacist" then I don't know what is. If I were visiting Rio I probably wouldn't fill my glass with tap water, sleep within a mile of an open window, or eat anything I didn't see prepared first hand, but I could probably be convinced to blow some curbside snow solely out of respect for the salesman. And why shouldn't I? There's got to be a reason the Latin word meaning "higher" is included in the Olympic creed. Guardian- Nintendo’s share price on the Tokyo Stock Exchange has plummeted 17% in one day, apparently due to investors belatedly discovering that the company doesn’t actually make Pokémon Go, the latest mobile gaming phenomenon.
The company is still buoyant, though: Since the game launched in mid-July, Nintendo’s share price has more than doubled. The cause of Monday’s decline was seemingly a statement put out by Nintendo after the close of trading on Friday, the day Pokémon Go was finally released in Japan. The statement pointed out that, despite the long-running association of Nintendo with Pokémon – an association which seems to have driven investors’ movements – it neither makes, nor owns, Pokémon Go. That fact was never hidden by any of the companies involved, and has been noted in some reports on Pokémon Go, but the fact seems to have taken investors by surprise. Well, that seems like a super inconvenient time to find a conscience. This is like a guy saying "we need to talk..." mid-blowjob. Might have been better off letting that stock climax before rendering it impotent. Fucking Nintendo is basically the dude that gets a chick into bed, engages in a full round of foreplay, and then when it's time to put it in he keeps asking "you sure?" until she's completely turned off and no longer sure. They've gone this far. They've undeservedly profited this much. It's not like coming clean is going to make them seem like a more morally upstanding company. They've known that the peak in their price was directly correlated with Pokemon Go since the first asshole walked off a cliff trying to catch a Pikachu so why decide to point it out now? Any real brand would beat that guilt off with a stick. There's no such thing as lying by omission in the business world. The fact that Nintendo didn't make Pokemon Go was public information. Not their fault a couple hundred thousand investors didn't do a homework assignment that required the most minimal amount of research. It is, however, their fault that they benefited from that ignorance AND are trying to come away from this affiliation looking like the good guys. Furthermore, shouldn't the people investing in the Tokyo Stock Exchange no better? I could see a bunch of self important douchebags on the NYSE making this mistake, but the Far East? I always figured they treated Pokemon like we treat professional athletes. Asians not knowing the original manufacturer of a Japanimation game feels like the equivalent of a basketball fan not knowing that LeBron is signed to Nike. Putting up money without that minute amount of knowledge is about as financially irresponsible as the design of the Steph Curry orthopedic shoes. Karma Confirmed: Junior Galette Is Out For The Second Straight Full Season With A Torn ACL7/25/2016
It most definitely makes me a bad person, but the cold, black portion of my heart skipped a beat when I went to search for pictures of Junior Galette in a Redskins uniform and there were only like 6 to choose from. I know you should never root for injuries, but is it equally as frowned upon to derive pleasure from them after they have already happened? Give that a quick thought while I pull the pin out of the leg of my Junior Galette voodoo doll. I made the Karma joke when he suffered this same injury last offseason, but I think it might be time to consider that the name of the girl he mercilessly whipped with his belt was actually named Karma. Not gonna lie, she looked like she had a bitchy side to her and it would certainly explain why he hasn't played a single down of meaningful football after going on multiple tirades that made long time CTE patients seem mentally stable. Anyway, It wouldn't be right of me not to give credit where it's due. That why I need to tip my cap to Junior Galette's ligaments for doing the unthinkable. It was next to impossible to make the Saints decision to cut him and subsequently eat a comical amount of dead money seem financially responsible, but they pulled it off. Also a quick shoutout to his tattoo artist for managing to tag him with some ink that's even less relevant than the huge Fleur De Lis he had needled into his skin before promptly being dismissed from New Orleans. Also a light round of applause for Fate. He must read the site and grew tired of a seemingly endless amount of material dedicated to an (now largely insignificant) enigmatic player who was somehow cursed with an amount of raw stupidity that outweighed the blessing of pure athleticism. It's actually shocking that it's his body that inevitably cost him a successful career and not his mouth. Even from a stretcher he's continuing to beat the odds.
Philip Kingston represents Dallas’ 14th District and he let the local CBS affiliate know that if those “shoeless hillbillies” in North Carolina want to let the All-Star Game leave, his city will be happy to take it.
“I’d love it. I’d absolutely love it,” Kingston said. “We will take whatever business we can get from those shoeless hillbillies.” Whoa there Philip. Not trying to tell you how to council the city or anything, but it might be wise to clean all the skeletons out of your backyard before you go hurling stones from your glass house. I have no issue with judging an entire region of people as "shoeless hillbillies" just because one law that they happen to be governed by is prejudice and creates an inconvenience for a demographic of society whose marginalization is supposed to be a thing of the past. After all, stereotypes exist for a reason. That, however, is why I would be a bit more careful about calling out other's lack of progressiveness from a state that wasn't exactly the first to raise the rainbow colored flag. I haven't crunched the numbers but from sheer volume alone I would be willing to bet that the amount of transphobic bigots in Texas is larger than the amount of transphobic bigots in North Carolina. That's not a knock on 'The Lone Star State' as much as it is a fact that the population of intolerant assholes isn't excluded from the "everything is bigger in Texas" narrative. Might want to stop painting other cities with a broad brush, or they might just be inclined to reply with equally damning slander. Good thing I definitely can't think of any troubling incidents that took place in Dallas recently or it would be quite easy to argue that it's not a suitable home for the NBA All Star game either. Anyway, I'm good with civil wars as long as they are only fought wth words, but both parties should know that they can still get pretty bloody when generalizations start getting thrown around as facts. Oh well, something tells me this guy is used to the taste of his own foot by now... WKRG- If you were at Foosackly’s Friday evening at Cottage hill and Schillinger Roads, you saw a lot more than chicken fingers.
Eyewitnesses say the man acted erratically in the restaurant parking lot. It started with him banging on a car window, he crawled in a drainage ditch and tried to lie down in the drive through driveway. Kelly Kraljevic says she saw him urinate on a truck and rub his genitals on vehicles. Onlookers called police and deputies. They say it took about an hour for officers to get there and arrest him. No word on the man’s identity or charges against him. The man has been identified as 39-year-old Patrick Glydewell of Saucier, Mississippi. Glydewell is charged with public lewdness and disorderly conduct. So men can't have mid-life crises anymore? That's illegal now? Is that what you are trying to tell me? Look at that guy. Standing buck ass naked in the middle of a parking lot at a fried chicken joint in the middle of the day. As much shame on his person as concealing fabric. Junk out just roasting in the summer sun as he tries to find himself. I suppose you could argue that his conduct was inappropriate, but what self respecting man hasn't pissed on something that wasn't his and/or put his balls somewhere they probably didn't belong? Can't we give this dude a pass? He's clearly got some issues to figure out. Number one being the quickest way to get the hallucinogens - that have him mindlessly staring at the side of a Foosackly's like the meaning of life resides beneath the breading of a chicken finger - out of his system. Followed closely by whatever problems led to him take said drugs in the first place. Still, this doesn't seem like it should be a prison worthy offense in the South. I figured they would be a little more understanding of someone's need to find clarity through the use of mind altering drugs, untimely nudity and light genital contact. Guess they simply aren't as progressive as I thought they were below the Mason-Dixon line. The Kids That Got Hawked Down After Stalking Joe Budden Had An All Too Relatable Humbling Experience7/25/2016
I feel plenty comfortable saying this because I was once one myself, but there is nothing worse than middle class white kids from the suburbs who haven't found a way to get their hands on drugs or alcohol yet. Props to Joe Budden for following through on chasing a bunch of high schoolers away from his house because most of us would have just done that thing where we run super hard for 20 feet and then start screaming and finger wagging out of laziness, but that's not even the best part of this video. The best, and most relatable, part of this video is when these kids go from "Follow me on Twitter!" to "Sir, it wasn't me! Sir! Sir! Sir!" with one smack to the window from a professional rapper armed with rocks. We've all been there. Well, everyone of us that grew up bored in a decent part of town and felt like there's nothing we couldn't get away with. For me it was bashing a golf ball with an aluminum bat through my neighbor's siding and having to own up to it, but for these lunatics it was staking out the house of a grown man and having to feverishly apologize when said grown man had enough and took matters into his own hands. Every last one of us entitled assholes had a moment in our childhood in which we realized we weren't nearly as tough as we thought, and these kids going from fearless to scared shitless in a heartbeat was a perfect example of that. Oh well, I guess being an impassioned enough Drake fan to track down the guy that dissed him in a couple songs is a better way to spend your free time than picking up a heroine addiction...which has seemingly been the go-to hobby for well off teens in the NorthEast. We've come a long way from 'Ding, Dong, Ditch' and pool hopping, but you've got to get your high somehow, and seeing this image in your rearview will definitely that for ya... Has A Blown Call That Decided A Championship Ever Been As Just As The One That Ended The Czech Bowl?7/25/2016 Now this right here? This is something you'd never see in the states. Don't get me wrong, a blown call at the most inopportune time is par for the course when it comes to NFL officiating, but it would never, EVER be a result of a play made by a white defensive back. Guess that's just an occupational hazard when you play "professional" football in Czech Republic. You have no choice but to trust caucasians to make the smart decision as the last line of defense. If we learned anything from watching Jason Sehorn repeatedly trip over his shoelaces in the Super Bowl it's that having faith in the fairer skinned to make the right play on the ball in a pressure packed situation is almost always a losing proposition. In all seriousness, you can't give these officials too hard of a time, right? They absolutely made the wrong call, but they kinda had to. Other than for the novelty of it, how can you award a team a 1 point victory on a hail mary that was picked off after not coming remotely close to reaching the end zone? Obviously the losing team is upset and surely thinks they were a bit screwed, but that feeling of being cheated has to be tempered by the fact that they had absolutely no business winning, no? Of course that's a safety by the letter of the law. You can't catch the ball, run eight yards into your own end zone, and down it. That dude would need enough momentum to make Justin Bieber's popularity seem stagnant to claim that making it all the way to the end zone was completely involuntary. Still, as a referee - that's just trying to leave the least amount of people feeling like they were bent over and fucked dry - you have to award the deserving team the championship...if only because it would be a pain the ass to describe the alternative in the online play-by-play.
July of 2016 will be known for 3 things: Worldwide violence, Pokemon GO, and Kevin Durant. Kind of sad the upcoming Presidential election couldn't sneak into that grouping too, but I am pretty sure everyone is going to do their damnedest to forget about that once it's over. Be that as it may - other than the seemingly endless DeflateGate hysteria - has the sports world ever needed something else to talk about so badly? I honestly don't even care if I think Kevin Durant made the right or wrong decision anymore, I'll side with whichever group decides to stop talking about it first. I have no idea why Charles Barkley and Jerry Rice were on stage in Lake Tahoe, but I know that the fact that they used their time to continue a debate that's been dead and buried for weeks is an indictment of the season. Just two knowledgable sports personalities resorting to the most simplistic of arguments. "Jump shooting teams can't win" Vs. "rings are all that matters". Two Hall Of Famers in their respective sports resorted to the most nauseatingly repetitive narratives of barroom banter. Please God, make it stop. Baseball, please do something of note! When the hell do NFL training camps open up? At this point I would rather talk about the 53rd man on the roster rather than talk about the competitive nature (or lack thereof) of Kevin Durant. That said, I have to crown Prince Charles the victor. Not just because I like him better and Kevin Durant's choice irked me, but because it's literally impossible to win an argument when you have your t-shirt tucked into your jeans. Even Buddy Lee thinks that's bad form.
h/t BustedCoverage
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