FOX- A 28-year-old woman has been sentenced to jail after pleading guilty to breaking into a man’s apartment and raping him in his sleep.
The Smoking Gun reported that Chantae Marie Gilman will serve nine months in jail after pleading guilty earlier this week. The crime happened in June of 2013 inside the victim’s Seattle apartment. Gilman has admitted to having sex with the man as he slept. Gilman reportedly climbed into the 31-year-old man’s bed and had intercourse with him while he slept. The victim said he woke up to find her on top of him. The victim eventually pushed her off and kicked her out of his apartment. The victim said he did not know the suspect, but recognized her as a “drug user in the area.” Secure your seatbelt here folks, because we are about to get a little weird. Now I don't want to sound ignorant or anything, but rape is the completed act of penetration, correct? From what I read above it sounds like we are talking about more than a game of 'just the tip'. This wasn't just a little bit of sexual misconduct. Now I don't doubt that this crazy cracked out broad snuck into this guy's bed and initiated the sexual contact. I don't even doubt that that he was oblivious until after he was inside her. If we are really going to give him the benefit of the doubt then he might not have even known who it was until after few pumps in. However, at some point this guy woke up and became complicit in the act. At some point he realized he was fucking Mary Methhead from behind the dumpster on 4th Street. Might be 15 seconds in, might be 2 minutes in. Either way, I don't blame him. We have all done some shit that we knew was wrong as we were doing it. Imagine if you never made the conscious decision to engage in such acts in the first place. This guy was definitely violated to an extent, but don't you dare tell me that he didn't reach a point where he said to himself "fuck it, the deed is done, let me at least give this story a happy ending". Now let's be honest with ourselves, our 'victim' here may not have chosen to stick his dick in some ratchet pussy, but you aren't going to convince me that he didn't at least enjoy it while it was taking place. If there is anything that I know about women it's that the crazy ones are great in bed. Doesn't get much crazier than the drug addict who broke in to your home and stuffed your manhood inside her while you were sleeping. As long as the formula holds up that unforeseen level of crazy equates to an unforeseen level of sexual gratification. In fact, he probably only pressed charges because he didn't trust himself not to slide up in that cesspool again. This guy may hate himself for waking up inside of a street dweller, but I'll be damned if he didn't have his cake and fuck it too. Then again, maybe he was just becoming a real man...
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Daily Mail- A Columbia University student who carried a mattress around campus to publicly accuse a fellow student of rape graduated alongside her alleged attacker on Tuesday- and took her controversial prop to the ceremony.
Students applauded in support of Emma Sulkowicz as she carried the 50-pound bed on stage while accepting her diploma. The German student who Sulkowicz accuses of being a 'serial rapist' who sexually assaulted her and two other women was also at the ceremony. Paul Nungesser has not been charged with a crime after the district attorney's office found there was a 'lack of reasonable suspicion' and he is now suing the university. Sulkowicz had vowed to carry the mattress around campus until her alleged attacker was expelled - and refused to shake the hand of President Lee Bollinger as she accepted her diploma, according to the Columbia Spectator's Teo Armus. The artist earned course credits for carrying the mattress around as part of her senior project entitled, 'Carry that Weight' which was framed as a protest against the university's alleged tolerance of rape and other sexual assault. 'The past year of my life has been really marked by telling people what happened in that most intimate and private space,' Sulkowicz told the Columbia Spectator in September. 'I was raped in my own dorm bed and since then, that space has become fraught for me. I feel like I've carried the weight of what happened there since then.' Aggressive. I got to say, I pretty much love this move. Then again, it's easy to love the move from a far when you are not the one lugging a fucking tainted mattress all over campus everyday of your life. I am not all that interested in the symbolism of this girl having to carry the 'weight' of that situation with her at all times, but I am a big fan of her destroying this kid's graduation day. Hey bud, uh, maybe should have sat this one out, no? The only reason people go to graduation is to give their parents a day to celebrate the six figure investment they put forth to give them an education. Mom and Dad probably aren't crying any tears of joy when the focal point of the entire ceremony is a mattress that represents their son's sexual deviancy. Probably not too prideful when their graduate's questionable character essentially turned tuition into a a donation. You know on a sitcom when a kid changes their grades on their report card, and the parents are so happy until they find out the truth? Well, this level of disappointment just raped that level of disappointment. Whether people want to admit it or not, people crying rape when they make dumb, drunken decisions is a problem in this country. Not as much of a problem as rape itself, but a problem nonetheless. You know what kind of person shows up to graduation in a cap and a gown, with a jail cell mattress over their shoulder? That's right, someone who without a doubt got raped. Far be it for me to question her validity as a victim. I already believed her after she brought her mattress to a class or two. Graduation is just icing on the cake. This is why I have always said you never half ass a rape charge. She is far too dedicated to the cause to be counterfeit. How many times does this kid come across this girl on campus and have to avoid eye contact with the lunatic lugging their room and board along with them? If that's not enough of a reminder of his transgressions then his job search certainly will be. Convicted or not, I am pretty sure there is a zero tolerance policy to having your picture associated with a "Girl Carries Rape Mattress" headline. I see a name change in someone's future. Probably for the best anyway. After this graduation debacle your parents might be looking for the quickest possible way to forget that you're their child. New meaning to the term 'walk of shame'... Florida Woman Arrested After Going On The Run With Her Son To Avoid Court Ordered Circumcision5/19/2015 Gawker- The Florida mom who took her four-year-old son on the run for months after a court ordered her to have him circumcised has been arrested.
Heather Hironimus has been fighting over her son Chase’s foreskin in court for more than a year. When she split up with Chase’s dad, Dennis Nebus, in 2012, she signed a parenting agreement saying he could schedule a circumcision, but later changed her mind. A Florida court initially ordered the circumcision in May 2014, when Chase was 3. Hironimus was able to get an emergency order that delayed the procedure, but was finally ordered to go through with it in March of this year. Hironimus is currently suing Nebus and the judge who approved the circumcision, arguing that it’s not medically necessary and that Chase doesn’t want it. Jeffrey Gillen, the judge who issued the May 2014 ruling, based his decision on testimony from a pediatric urologist that circumcision lowers the risk of penile cancer and of AIDS. Intactivists don’t support “traumatic genital surgery,” even in newborns, claiming its health benefits are insignificant and it unnecessarily deprives baby boys of future sexual pleasure. So let me get this straight Florida, with all of the crazy stories that originate from that God-forsaken state circumcision is where we are going to draw the line? Anyway we can get a retroactive custody battle? I know the phrase is 'a mother knows best', but I don't think that phrase was created with penal health in mind. Sometimes Daddy has got to put his foot down and look out for the future of his child. Does this lady even know what she is arguing? She doesn't support traumatic genital surgery? The only thing more traumatic than taking a knife to a 3 year old's penis is the look that he gets from his first girlfriend when she pulls his underwear down to find his dick wearing a hoodie. Of course he doesn't want the surgery. He's 3. The only reason he is able to discuss this with you is because you have already failed as a parent. You are supposed to chop that thing off before he even has a say in the matter. The reason it's called foreskin is because you are supposed to get rid of it BEFORE it becomes a topic of debate. If you ask any child that can talk if he wants a medical procedure performed on his penis he is going to say no. Kid's hardly ever agree to take cough medicine, never mind have their manhood altered. Let me guess, this kid probably doesn't want to brush his teeth, be given shots at the doctors, or go to bed at a reasonable time either. That doesn't make him right. That's what parenting is. Making tough decisions for your children before they are old enough to do so for themselves. I know this may seem crazy, but sometimes 3 year old aren't the most informed people on the planet. Especially when they have a mother like you. I think I can speak for myself and a large majority of the general public that you can still have a successful and pleasurable sex life without having to perform under the hood maintenance on a bi-monthly basis. Maybe leave the dick decisions to those that have decades upon decades of hands-on experience in the field. The day that females have the final say on their child's dick should signal the day where men can start having the final say on abortions, and I don't think anyone wants that. P.S. How many foreskins have felt the wrath of this woman's mutilated fangs? Those teeth look like the picket fence at an abandoned house. Source- Tyronn Lue: A lot of people do all their howling on the court and they're faking just for attention, but what he does is genuine. So one day we were at his house and we were watching Puff Daddy's show Making the Band, and in one of the scenes, some new guys came in and were trying to sing and were trying to compete against the guys who had been there. And KG just got so hyped, "Motherf----r, you've got to stand up for yours! You've got to fight! Motherf----r, you've got to come together!" He's going crazy, he's sweaty. And he just head butts the wall and put a hole in the wall of his house.
Shoutout to Tyronn Lue, by the way. We should all be happy that he didn't just call it quits on life when Allen Iversen put him into a blender and then stepped over his lifeless corpse after nailing that jumper in the NBA finals. Glad he was able to get past that. With that said, maybe he should do a better job of choosing who he associates with. I love Kevin Garnett. Love his feistiness. Love his proclivity to saying ridiculous shit on the court. With that said, there is nothing worse than having the friend that is a complete wildcard. The friend that could turn a low key guy's night into a visit from the cops. I can just picture Lue and the boys sitting around watching 'Making The Band'. Maybe throwing back a few beers and ordering a pizza. Then out of nowhere KG just flips out and puts his head through a wall. Jesus, no one is exempt from being told to chill the fuck out every once and awhile, I don't care if you are KG or not. Everyone needs a person in their life to tell them when they are overreacting. Safe to say that property damage over the results of a reality show falls under the category of overreacting. I don't even think the people that got kicked off that show had as much of an emotional reaction. Someone want to tell Kevin it's a casual Sunday afternoon and not the 4th quarter of game 7? The actions of your company reflect on you as well. You walk around with a loose cannon all the time you are prone to falling victim to collateral damage. Spontaneity is one thing, but you don't want someone that constantly causes you to be on your toes. The only thing that is expected with Garnett is the unexpected. Not too sure I feel comfortable inviting the guy that just put his own head through his own wall over to my place next time, but that's just me. BSO- The wife of an NFL player says she worked in a real-life “Wolf of Wall Street’’ office where co-workers sexually harassed her and openly mocked her marriage to a black man.
“How many cheerleaders has your boyfriend f–ked today?” Philippa Okoye, 27, who is white, said her boss sneered at her at their deVere Group office in Manhattan, according to a new federal lawsuit. Referring to Okoye’s now-husband, British Olympic athlete and San Francisco 49er defensive tackle Lawrence Okoye, the boss allegedly added, “He’s probably f–ked the whole cheerleading squad by now.’’ Philippa said that another time, a worker near her announced, “I think it’s disgusting when white women go out with black guys.’’ A second worker said, “Don’t change your surname [to Okoye] if you marry Lawrence, because people will think you’re black,’’ she said. “Yeah, and that’s not good for business,’’ Alderson allegedly added. According to Philippa’s suit, Benjamin Alderson what that office to be like a movie. He used Wolf of Wall St. and Boiler Room as examples. “In those films, employees of male-dominated investment firms used highly offensive language and engaged in extremely inappropriate conduct, including sexual harassment and drug and alcohol use in the workplace.” Hey, you've got to use the tools that are at your disposal to make money in this country. If that happens to be a black husband then so be it. Does second hand discrimination count? You know how when you get married some employers let you include your spouse on your health or dental insurance? Does discrimination work the same way? Like now Phillippa and her husband are just one entity and whatever happens or is said to one of them is basically said to both of them? I think I can get down with that. Finally, A good fucking reason to get married. To take your scumbag employer for all he is worth. Got to love a white woman suing another white person for racial discrimination. Our country has fallen so far down the rabbit hole that I think I sneaky love it. You can claim almost anything as discrimination and garner sympathy. The words discriminatory and mean are basically synonymous now. If I am deVere Office Group I am not too sure I want to piss off the husband that is an NFL defensive end and a former Olympic athlete. Kind of makes the the whole federal lawsuit seem like a secondary concern. As a man there is a certain code you have to adhere to. First of all, never cause another man's wife distress. I bet you Lawrence Okoye is more upset that he has to come home to his wife bitching about work than he is about her employer being a racist cunt. The last thing a man needs when he walks in the door is a wife that wants to talk. If Phillipa's coworkers are guilty of anything it's giving her conversation pieces. Second of all, you never out another man for sexual infidelity. Now, I don't know if Okoye is slamming cheerleaders on the side or not, but the last way he would like to be caught doing so is by a wife that had a seed of doubt engrained in her head by her bigot boss. So yeah, on the surface it seems strange for a white person to cry racism, but this women should win her lawsuit. If not because of the prejudice these men portrayed than for the inconvenience they cause this NFL player in his own home. Or we could just let Lawrence take the law into his own hands. Pretty sure the guys at deVere would rather be broke than dead...
God dammit lady, do you see what you did? You hurried him and you made him fuck up his joke. You know how long he has been saving that one up? Probably came up with it after Tyler Johnson's first goal of the night when Marty St. Louis was falling over himself. I bet he wrote it down on the back of his hand and searched out this reporter after the clock hit zero. He had one shot, one opportunity, and you made him miss it with your silly time constraints. He's probably sitting at home right now with his head in his hands going "two words? two words!? Stupid, stupid, stupid!". You had to put him on the spot and now he's got palms-a-sweaty, vomit on his sweater already, mom's spaghetti. 15 seconds of fame straight down the tubes. If you bobble the handoff the rest of the play probably isn't going to go all that well, and if you botch the intro to a joke you have already compromised it's punchline.
Why do reporters still do this? Does getting a drunk, delirious fan's point of view enhance the broadcast that much? If there is a person that agrees to take time away from drinking overpriced, domestic beer at a fan gathering to talk to a reporter then he probably doesn't have anything too constructive to say. She should probably just be happy he went with the cringeworthy Johnson play instead of trying to fuck Marty St. Louis right in his pussy. P.S. A 'Johnson' penis joke? There isn't even another Johnson on the Rangers . That joke may have flown better in the NBA or NFL, but not the whitest professional league in all of sports. Going to have to give this one a 2.1 out of 10. A single entendre that lacked cleverness, layers and spontaneity. Sometimes the jokes just funnier on paper dude. Maybe don't try so hard next time. P.P.S. Sincerely hope whoever is responsible for the Tampa Bay 3rd jerseys has been fired already.
This may sound like the obvious angle that an NBA player that just got eliminated from the playoffs would take. For that reason, it's kind of sad that it made me smile a little bit when Bradley Beal didn't choose a bandwagon to hop onto. So often in today's NBA there are players wishing each other well, hugging for extended periods of time on the court, shooting good luck and congratulatory texts back and forth, and all but making backdoor deals to join up when they reach free agency. I think that's the biggest difference between the old NBA and it's heated rivalries, and this new school love fest. I'm glad that Beal doesn't want anyone else to win. That's the type of stance a competitor should take. You think Kobe Bryant or Michael Jordan ever rooted for anyone but themselves? You think Larry Bird or Magic Johnson gave a shit about the finals if they weren't in them? Hell no. To be the best you've got to think that there is no one more deserving than yourself. You've got to hate the success of others so much that it fuels you to be better. I'm glad that Beal realizes that it's natural to be a sore loser, and his attitude lends itself to a successful future in this league. It's good that the NBA possesses a certain level of camaraderie, but I'll take the scorned, jealous player on my team any day. Being genuinely happy for your opposition is a weakness that breeds complacency.
Fox News- Part of the erotic movie "Fifty Shades of Grey" was shown in a West Virginia high school classroom this week after students convinced their teacher to let them watch it as a reward for good work.
The Charleston Daily Mail reports that the teacher apparently didn't know what the film was about. "Fortunately, an assistant principal walked by and saw what they were doing,"Hampshire High principal Jeff Woofter told the paper. "They got there 10 minutes after it started and shut it down." "I will say it was an extreme lack of judgement from an otherwise very capable teacher," Woofter told The Charleston Daily Mail. "The teacher didn't do a background check on the movie or even ask about it." Very capable teacher, huh? I am calling 50 shades of bullshit on that one. I would say one of the most important characteristics of a good teacher in modern society is being able to relate to one's students. You really need the ability to take the pulse of classroom. The fact that this teacher didn't know what '50 Shades of Grey' was in the first place is a red flag in itself. When's the last time the curriculum got updated, 1982? Maybe she needs a class in popular culture. Now, I don't know the exact plot of the movie either, but I sure as shit know it's about bondage and butt stuff. And as someone that is out there attempting to reach the youth of America then she should have known too. High school students don't think about anything but sex, and that's only getting more and more true with each passing generation. Even if this teacher was a talented educator, she's a terrible judge of character. Trusting a bunch of hormone fueled teens to pick an acceptable film is the least responsible thing you can do. I'm half surprised they didn't ask to watch Susie and Bill's sex tape that they made in the bathroom during 6th period lunch. Give high schoolers a couple inches and their going to get them erect and try to stick them in a classmate after you turn the lights out. And don't think I am giving these kids a pass either. '50 Shades of Grey'? Really? Enjoy your blue balls you sexually frustrated little fucks. That movie doesn't even have full frontal nudity. If you were going to risk getting caught watching glorified soft core porn then you should have just went all in and got some entertainment value out of it. You could have gotten a better climax out of a National Geographic film. Maybe do some research next time. Now you're all just sitting there watching a whole lot of naked man chest with a half chub and a full slate of regret. Should have just waited until you got home to sneak in an early afternoon PornHub sesh. Way to waste all your trust on a fucking movie that got a 25% on rotten tomatoes and wasn't even worthy of an NC-17 rating. Hope you think about what you've done while you're sitting in detention instead of spending valuable time narrowly avoiding unwanted pregnancies. P.S. Does this women have the best sex life ever because she doesn't need erotic literature to stimulate her, or the worst sex life ever because she's never even tried?
Inquisitr- Shocking video footage shows American students brawling in the middle of a classroom floor. A male teacher can be seen ripping off his belt and whipping the students as they fight on the floor below. The brawl quickly comes to an end, with students scattering across the room as they attempt to flee the angry teacher.
Cell phone video of a fight in an unnamed American school was uploaded to LiveLeak on Friday night. In the video, you see a group of male students fighting in the floor of a classroom. A male teacher can be seen approaching the boys with a belt in hand. The teacher then begins to whip the fighting boys with the belt until they disperse. Some of the students can be heard laughing in the background as the boys are hit with the belt. However, others appear terrified as they flee the corporal punishment. The Washington Post notes that corporal punishment, such as whipping a student with a belt, is banned in 31 states. However, 19 states still allow teachers and administrators the power to punish a child for disruptive behavior with corporal punishment. How far a teacher is legally allowed to go with the corporal punishment varies by state. The video does not note which school the belt beating incident took place. However, some have pointed out that the school may be a private, religious, or military academy, as the students are wearing uniforms. If the question is when is it okay for a teacher to take off his belt to discipline students then the safe answer is never. However, it would be foolish to think that it isn't more necessary under some circumstances than others. From the little I have seen, this looks like a situation that could stand to benefit from the presence of some leather lashings. We send kids to school to be educated. There's no more important life lesson than learning that if you act like a dick you might get your ass whipped. Funny story, when I was growing up I got into an argument with a close friend/ teammate. My hockey coach took us outside and told us, "if you are going to get into a fight then you better be willing to kill each other or else it's not worth it". I still, to this day, have not a clue what that means. I think it means he makes a much better coach than a friend. Could mean he had just had enough of our shit and wanted to scare us into behaving. Well, guess what, mission accomplished. I definitely stopped getting into as many petty fights with my friends. You following me here? I am not saying psychotic, nonsensical logic will get kids to act appropriately, but I am saying that the entire point of discipline is deter similar behavior in the future. Turns out that fear is quite deterrent. You know how many times students are going to start bench clearing brawls in the classroom when they remember getting smacked around with a belt? Zero. A couple sore asses is contributing to the greater good, especially in a school that looks to be of the military variety. How else do you stop a dozen wrestling kids with ADD? Peel them off the pile one by one? Good luck with that success rate. Sometimes you need to do a little impact correction to restore order. Trust me, this kid won't be acting up again...
CSN- Following Game 7, Lakers Hall of Famer Magic Johnson didn't miss a chance to provide his take on Clippers' playoff exit.
"I thought the Spurs taught the Clippers how to win after a tough 7 game series. I was wrong. The Clippers are still the Clippers," Johnson wrote on Twitter Sunday afternoon. Johnson also addressed the Clippers blowing a 19-point lead in Game 6. "The Clippers organization will always remember not closing out the Rockets in Game 6 at home. That game will always haunt them," Johnson wrote. He capped off his series of tweets about the Clippers with an assessment of the team moving forward. "I think the Clippers must make roster changes if they want to get to the Western Conference Finals and the NBA Finals!" Johnson concluded. "The Clippers are still the Clippers." Well golly gee, thanks Earvin, how brilliantly insightful! It's no secret that the Clippers deserve all the criticism they are getting for a collapse of epic proportions. Until they manage to at least surpass the second round of the playoffs it will always be easy to pile on to the narrative that they can't be successful. Chris Paul and Blake Griffin might as well be Darius Miles and Michael Olowokandi until they reach a conference final, because that is who the media is going to treat them as. Hey Magic, you want to take the low hanging fruit and give the whole "some things will never change" spiel? Two can play that game. As we're on the subject of low hanging fruit how about we talk about your disease ridden genitals? The only thing that has been as consistent as the Clippers lack of success has been Magic's completely compromised immune system. Guess what Magic, we are getting to the generation that will only know you as the HIV guy, and rightfully so. Who cares that you played all 5 positions at an all star caliber level? Who cares about all the championships? Who cares that the only thing more infectious than your blood is your smile? You're just the AIDS guy. Chris Paul may be without a conference championship appearance, but at least he could find someone that wouldn't mind sharing a beer with him. Blake Griffin may have pulled a no show in game 7, but at least a girl could sleep with him without waking up in a cold sweat every night and praying 6 times a day. Even after this travesty of a series I would still rather be a Clipper than the guy that has everyone running for the hills when he gets a paper cut. The guy whose career ended early because he basically went raw dog in a cess pool is going to criticize people for not fulfilling their potential. Unbelievable. Go home Patient Zero, no one cares what happened during the good old days. PHT- On Monday, IIHF president Rene Fasel had some choice — and ominous — remarks for Team Russia, which left the ice before Canada’s anthem was played following Sunday’s 6-1 loss in the World Hockey Championship final.
“The IIHF has its own protocol and some sort of punishment will be handed down,” Fasel told TASS, per Reuters. “When I saw what had happened, I was very upset. In the 29 world championships that I have had the honor of attending, this is the first time I have seen something like this. “What the Russian team did was completely out of order.” Canada routed the Russians on the strength of four goals in 10 minutes spanning the first and second periods. The Canadians eventually pushed the lead to 6-0, before Evgeni Malkin scored a consolation marker for the Russians with under 10 minutes to play. Following the game, the Russian team stayed out for the medal ceremony and individual award announcements, but left the surface prior to ‘O Canada’ being played. Russia acted in a a way that was disrespectful to the sport? You don't say. Is this supposed to surprising or appalling? I can't say I'm feeling too outraged. We are talking about a country that is famous for being sore losers. Why do you think the majority of NHL players that don't find success in North America head back over to the KHL? It's a country that's built on the foundation of butt hurt. Take a poll of that communist scrap heap. I bet an overwhelming amount of people still think they won the Cold War. That's what Russia does. They stay losing, and they stay being bad at doing so. You think it is a coincidence that the players that stayed on the ice were NHL mainstays? Players like Ovechkin and Malkin that have had to swallow their pride for years as they have failed to accomplish their ultimate goal. Those players have been indoctrinated into what it is like to lose with class. Of course Kovalchuk was by the door escorting them off. That, along with a gazillion dollar contract and a sense of loyalty as minuscule as his playoff resume, is the reason he went back to Russia in the first place. He can't deal with not being the best. Expecting sportsmanship from Russia is like expecting to understand the Chinese lady when you order delivery. It's like asking a homeless person for a restaurant review, or expecting Chris Brown to open the door for his date (while the car's not moving). It's not part of who they are or who they are expected to be. Where is the world headed if we can start penalizing international sports teams for their societal customs? We should just be happy that they took time away from publicly executing homosexuals to play in the tournament. I am not going to lie. I do feel a little bit of sympathy for Russia here. Staying on the ice after you lost a championship is awful. It's awful when you are a pee wee youth player and it only gets worse as the stakes get bigger and play gets more competitive. No player would want to stay on the rink after getting lambasted 6-1. Maybe we could rearrange this whole IIHF ceremony so it isn't 6 hours long? First the medals, then the trophy, then confetti, then a fucking sports car complete with eye candy, and THEN they did the Canadian national anthem? Could you try to rub it in a little more? I would probably be screaming 'Oh FUCK Canada' by the time they started playing the song too. We going to make Russia go out with them after and sit in the corner and watch as they slug thousand dollar bottles of champagne and enough beer per person to make Wade Boggs question his drinking habits? How much respect is enough respect? You want people to stay for the national anthem then play it before the 30 minute song and dance. Especially when you could have started the award ceremony after the second period. It's situations like these where we really have to distinguish between the winner and the loser. I'm not talking short term. Obviously the big fat inbred hick in jorts won the battle when he wrestled the ball away from a helpless old lady, but did he really win the war? On the surface it may not look like the consolation prize of an Arizona Diamondbacks/Fox Sports t-shrirt is all that much to write home about. However, neither is the ball that came from the bat of a glorified Single A/beer league softball player that made his way on to professional field via the athletic abortion that is the Philadelphia Phillies lineup.
The real prize here is this lady was blessed with the ability to get out her Philadelphia fan hood. Given a free pass to adopt a new team. Why continue to root for the Phailures when you can't even cheer them on without some ogre trying to knock you on to the warning track for a meaningless baseball? Hey lady, smile, you just won a one way ticket out of a lifetime of misery. Sure, it may not look like it on the scoreboard. Sure, it's a pretty lateral move in terms of the current MLB standings, but you got to look long term. One day the Arizona Diamondbacks won't suck, and not only can you say you were there when they did, but you'll also have a great story to go along with it. Can't say the same for the Phillies. Between their owner being a halfwit and their geographical predisposition to failure, they are destined for decades upon decades of disappointment. Just from a purely historical standpoint the Diamondbacks have a much better future trajectory. It's not like they could end being worse than the scum of the earth. Just no way to reside beneath rock bottom. Might as well jump on the Arizona Cardinals and Phoenix Suns bandwagon too before Sam Bradford gets hurt doing his laundry and the Sixers institute their 4th consecutive tank job. Don't fret the loss of that baseball ma'am. Other than beating diabetic shock a couple times a month, that is the only win this guy is going to have for a long, long time.
Hey, if you're not first, you're last. If there is one place in which that is true it is professional sports. No silver medals or honorable mentions in the NBA. Chris Paul definitely isn't wrong here. However, I got to question his approach. Let it be known that the only reason the Clippers got as far as they did was the play of their all star point guard. For as bad as this team was yesterday, Chris Paul, who was not playing at a hundred percent due to a suspect hamstring, was the least of their concerns. With that said, it's not going to stop the media from running with the narrative that he can't win in the playoffs. The media isn't very educated in the concept of cause and affect. If you haven't made it to the conference finals there will always be people that say you can't make it to the conference finals, despite the extenuating circumstances surrounding the situation. With the black cloud of being a playoff choker engulfing you it might not be the best time to remind people that you have finished last every single year. I mean, he definitely hasn't finished first. Give yourself some credit CP3, because the media undoubtedly won't. You still knocked off the defending champs on a bad leg. You still led your team to the 3 seed. You may not have made it in to the top 4, but categorizing yourself as the bottom one isn't going to get you any leeway with the talking heads. I guess the bright side is that even if the Clippers won yesterday and then lost to the Warriors they wouldn't finish any better than dead last. Eh, maybe that's more like the slightly dim side...
Guardian- An activist and film-maker who has worked with Jay Z claims that the hip-hop star contributed “tens of thousands” of dollars to free protesters who could not pay their bail following anti-police brutality demonstrations in Baltimore and Ferguson, Missouri. The activist, Dream Hampton, later deleted her tweets and called them “error-ridden”, but confirmed to the Guardian that Jay Z helped bail protesters out. “I’m going to tweet this and I don’t care if Jay gets mad,” wrote Hampton, at 8.38am on Sunday. “When we needed money for bail for Baltimore protesters, I asked hit Jay up [sic], as I had for Ferguson, wired tens of thousands in mins.” Another tweet read: “When [Black Lives Matter] needed infrastructure money for the many chapters that we’re growing like beautiful dandelions, Carters wrote a huge check.” She continued: “... and more stuff, too much to list actually, that they always insist folk keep quiet.” You know what is a great cause, but takes a lot of time and effort? Protesting. Well, why waste your time protesting when you can drop a minuscule amount of your net worth to bail the protestors out and get 1,000 times more credit than a person waving a sign and chanting in the street would? Like Hova said, what's a mob to a King? Must be nice to be filthy rich. Look, there aren't many people, outside the people that are actually doing it, who appreciate a crowd marching in the streets and getting in the way of the average citizens day to day life. It may not be right that they get locked up, but the average person isn't going to feel sympathy for someone that doubled their commute to work. However, what aides in a primarily black cause faster than the support of the first couple of hip hop? Let's be real, if you attach Jay-Z or Beyonce's name to anything it instantly gains more credibility. I almost feel like I should grab my picket sign and hit the busiest intersection I can find. After all, the streets is watching. I can't let popular culture leave me behind. Don't get it twisted either. Jay and Bey don't make any moves unless they could potentially be profitable business moves. They aren't costing themselves any fans by bucking up a couple hundred grand for the black community. If anything, they are gaining fans that they didn't have in the first place. Jay-Z and Beyonce bail me out of the clink and I am buying every single piece of shit they have ever put their name on. Shit, I would buy a lifetime subscription to 'Tidal', and a cabinet full of L'Oreal cosmetic supplies. I would play 'Kingdom Come' on loop for a year and fill my closet with Yonce shirts. Nothing ups the street cred, that may have been comprised through years of business ventures and bowties, like bringing a bunch of people back to the street. I am sure they did 'insist' that this guy keep his mouth. But, if your main concern is staying anonymous then you don't wire money to the guy responsible for distributing $5 'I Can't Breathe' t-shirts to the entire NBA. That's the type of person that will disobey anyone's request if it means getting his name in the news. I don't care if Jay and Bey wanted people to know about their contributions or not, but you can't play both sides of the fence. You can't be anonymous and still tell people. As Larry David would say, "it's fake philanthropy and it's faux anonymity". So the Billboard Music Awards happen to be on in the background, and boy was I lucky enough to catch 'Best Rap Song'. Let me tell you it was just as riveting as I could have possibly imagined....for allllll the wrong reasons. Three songs by woman? Two of which are by a white woman? Jesus christ, it's the fucking apocalypse. I swear this is a sign that in a decade the WNBA will be more popular than the NBA, Manish Patel will be the NHL's MVP, and white people will be managing the most successful Chinese food places in town. Is nothing sacred anymore? 'Fancy' is a rap song in the same way that '10 Crack Commandments' was an uplifting spiritual song. Iggy Azalea is a rapper in the same way that Big Pun was a philanthropist. She's as much a part of hip hop as Tupac was a part of the Republican party. If Big L had enough of a pulse to roll himself over in his grave he would take the pistol out of his waistband and quiet this crowd faster than a Paul Walker montage. I swear to god if 'Fancy' is the pinnacle of the profession then the profession needs to be smothered with a pillow doused in Kerosene and lit on fire. Next year just call it the 'Where Hip Hop Used To Be Place Holder Award'. The winner of the best rap song is about to perform with Britney Spears, and we are wondering why are wondering why black people just set Baltimore on fire.
I don't even want to make it seem like I am piling on the ladies here. I swear I'm not. If Iggy Azalea was a dude I would criticize her just the same. You want proof? For as bad as the female nominees were, the male nominees were just as embarrassing. Hmm, some 4'6, 100 pound dude named 'Big Sean' that just got his bitch ass dumped by some barely legal pop star? That's about as gangsta as being the catcher in prison. Bobby Shmurda? Some dude whose song 'Hot Boy' is the namesake of the one of the best hip hop groups to bless the hip hop industry? Really did them proud with that one Shmurda. I feel like I am one slip of the tongue from the world's worst nursery rhythm with that fucking name. Bobby Schmurda makes Dr. Suess look like fucking Run DMC. The most prestigious thing about this category is Nicki Minaj's ass. Do we realize that one of the best rappers in that building is now an actor that is hosting and pandering to the crowd with some model who looks like her favorite hobby is facial reconstruction? Do we realize another one of the best rappers in the building is singing about a white actor that died like a year ago because he drove like an asshole? In the old days rappers would get killed in cold blood and their homies would pour out some malt liquor and forgot the deceased name by the following Tuesday. Not got on stage looking like ET in skinny jeans wearing a brand of boxers made famous by a known racist. Jesus Christ, thank God for iPhone and music libraries. I can't believe the most hood part of these awards is when Kanye comes out in a leather skirt. What have we done to this culture? Moment of silence for hip hop... I Know This May Come As A Surprise, But 66% Of Millennials Don't Think They Are Millennials5/17/2015 Public Religion- Millennials are having an identity crisis. Only one-third (34 percent) of Americans age 18 to 35 say that they’re a “millennial,” according to PRRI’s millennial report, while the remaining 66 percent say that the term doesn’t describe them well.
While most millennials avoid adopting the label—whether out of negative connotations it carries or because they are unfamiliar with it—some millennials are more likely to reject it than others. 66% of millennials don't think they are millennials. 42% of fat people don't think they are fat. 75% of pretentious, superficial dickheads don't think they are pretentious, superficial dickheads. 59% of ugly people don't think they are ugly. 82% of people who suck in bed don't think they suck in bed. 100% of conspiracy theorists and 'truthers' think their reasoning is logical. More importantly, only 1.5% of people are totally self aware. And yes, other then the first stat, all of those are completely made up. But guess what? They probably aren't all that far off. If people were quick to criticize themselves they would have to work to fix those defects, and that's time that could be so much better spent glorifying themselves on social media. You mean to tell me that the most narcissistic, self absorbed demographic of society chooses not to identify themselves with those characteristics? Absolutely stunning. Is this all that hard to figure out? My generation easily has the most flaws of any generation, and that trend will only continue as idiots have unprotected sex and shit out more idiots. Regardless, the 'beauty' of the millennial is that they don't realize they are a millennial. We are just running around like our shit doesn't stink, ignoring every single one of our faults. The term 'millennial' has a negative connotation. If we are all so perfect and ignorantly blissful with each and every single aspect ourselves, how could we possibly describe ourselves as something so unfavorable? There is a person that didn't even take a break from finding the perfect angle for a selfie to look at the person that took this survey. If you asked that person if they were a millennial they would balk at the question. They would simply say that they are taking the selfie for the actual millennials who constantly like their pictures. You know why the world feels like it's getting increasingly stupider? Because the people born between 1980-2000 are starting to make decisions that affect society, and we are literally the least self aware people in history. Hey, count me in the 34%. I am a millennial. I scour the worldwide web and commentate on the stupidity of others. In all honesty, 'scour' might not be the right world, because as our generation gets dumber the internet only requires a casual glance to find material. If the millennials that didn't think they were millennials didn't exist neither would this website, and for that we should all be thankful. Nailed it Bauerlein, nailed it... This picture may not be from game 7, but it perfectly encapsulates everything from the Clippers point of view. Just when I think I know something about sports, well... I don't. The Rockets may not have been dead in the water following game 4, but at the very least they were limbless and bleeding out awaiting their pending demise. As much as the Rockets role players deserve credit for stepping up for three straight games with their season on the line, the Clippers deserve twice the amount of criticism. As a fan it's hard to be heartbroken, because you most likely just spend the the better part of 3 hours accepting that this team was not ready to play basketball today. It's sure as shit disappointing though.
What we just watched was a continuation of game 6. Sans maybe 5 minutes of solid fundamental basketball, the Clippers came out like they were still trying to shoot away the demons of 3 days ago. Rushed shots. Awful turnovers. No patience. Just an utter lack of confidence and a plethora of nervous energy. Almost like they forgot what made them so successful over the entirety of an 82 game regular season, a 7 game dogfight with the Spurs, and the majority of this series against the Rockets. For all the unnecessary energy that the Clippers wasted playing sloppy, over anxious basketball on the offensive end, they lacked similar energy on the defensive end. James Harden constantly turned the corner on double teams. They constantly failed to get their hands in the face of shooters in a timely manner. They got beat to loose balls by the likes of Pablo Prigioni, of all people. Not to take away from what the Rockets accomplished, but the Clippers did just as good of a job beating themselves as James Harden did. The supplemental pieces? No where to be found. While Corey Brewer, Josh Smith, and Trevor Ariza raised their games, JJ Redick was busy missing open jumpers and committing unforced turnovers. If Mattt Barnes didn't wack Harden towards the end of the game I may not have even realized he was there. Jamal Crawford, while making a couple big shots, was bad in nearly every other facet of the game. And it didn't end there. The player that has been the most reliable this postseason, Blake Griffin, was playing like a shell of himself. Missing shots he makes in his sleep, turning the ball over, showing no urgency on the defensive end. Chris Paul, while he will receive most of the blame, was probably the best of the bunch, and trust me when I say this, that wasn't hard to accomplish. You could make a case to dismiss the narrative that Doc Rovers is a great motivator based on this game alone. After two days rest, the same team that walked off the floor with their heads held low in Los Angeles is the same one that showed up, if you want to call it that, in Houston this afternoon. A team that looked like it had already been beat. A team that looked like it was over compensating. A team that was mentally weak from start to finish. This Clippers team wasn't without flaw, but they should have won this series, and that is something that is going to haunt them for a long, long time. We likely won't see wholesale changes in the offseason, but this team needs to be mentally rewired if they ever plan on getting to where they want to go.
Steph Curry is making his first conference finals appearance and even that couldn't lighten his mood enough to not tell the reporter that he asks idiotic questions. This is what's wrong with the media. Not that they have a job to do, but that they suck at doing it. Not that they have questions, but that they always have the wrong questions. Can we get somebody in there that knows what it means to be a professional athlete or is in some way familiar with the game of basketball? Did you just ask the best player on the best team, record wise, in the sport if there is a team he would like to stay away from? What kind of answer did you expect from that? You just watched 2 and half hours of basketball and that was the most stimulating thought that was formulated between those ears? Maybe, just maybe, it would serve you better to ask a question that you have a semblance of a chance of getting an answer to. Bet you Steph Curry finding the nice way of saying "you ask dumb fucking questions" is going to look great in your column. Nothing sparks readership like reading a whole shit load of nothing.
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You want to know how easy it is to be a beat reporter? Draymond Green was the best one in the room and he probably hasn't written anything since high school. Did you know the key to yesterday's win was Festus Ezeli before right now? I know I didn't. I watched the game and I didn't even know he was a basketball player, never mind a cog in clinching a series win. I thought it was some kind of disease that was hampering Marc Gasol. Hey, journalists in the room, take notes. Draymond Green just gave you a little something called insight. Look it up. I'm sure the quickest way to find it would be by looking under your job description, but what do I know? Better watch your back. Keep letting athletes ask their own questions and there is going to be a lot of unemployed media members. Lord knows the general public would rather hear Draymond Green's expertise on the sport he plays than a bunch of clique questions worthy of cliche answers, if they are even worthy of an answer at all.
The look says it all... BBC- A mother has been found guilty of duping her former partner into thinking she had an abortion in order to give his child to her gay friend.
A jury at Perth Sheriff Court found the woman and her male friend guilty of an elaborate fraud. The court heard the pair hatched a "cynical and calculated" plot to cover up who the child's real father was. The woman, aged 29, and her 35-year-old male friend were warned they could face up to five years in prison. Sheriff William Wood described the offence as "very serious" and paid tribute to the child's father for his efforts to obtain justice for himself and his daughter. He said: "I love having children. She got more and more reluctant about having the child near the end of our relationship. She split up with me and told me she was going to have an abortion." This isn't about the gay friend. This isn't even about the woman that lied about prematurely ending a child's life. This is about the person that is the responsible for all the irrational actions of the other two parties. That person is the boyfriend that who gave off the vibe of being such a terrible father that his girlfriend had to fabricate a series of unbelievable lies. Time for some soul searching my man. I am sure you really wanted to be a father, but guess what? Mother's know best. And if this woman thought there was a better chance of her fooling the judge, the jury, and a series of DNA tests than you becoming a decent father than the wrong person is facing judgement here. If the biological father is plan B then he probably grades an F as a potential parent. Listen man, do you know how ass backwards it is for an ex-girlfriend to not want help raising your child? There are people who have literally paid to kill a fetus just to not be put in your position. There are guys in unreconcilable debt from paying child support that regret every single time they had unprotected sex and you're over here taking your ex and her shopping partner to court. Here is what I have learned from this story. This guy is unfit to be a father, and the woman is a lunatic. How do I know? A woman that lies about an abortion can lie about ANYTHING. That kid has no shot at success. I'm going to give you some advice that most would be too scared to share, give up on that little fucker. That big fat sac of crazy that you continually stuck your dick in to is giving you a free pass. I'm sure you still gotta a couple million swimmers in the tank. Just call this one quits and take another unprotected dip in the dating pool. I'm sure there is some lucky lady out there that would love to ruin your life and take all your money as you two undoubtedly raise a cute little dreck on society. A least this woman who pulled the old 'hidden child trick' can take solace in the fact that she's not the worst woman in the world... Fox News- A complaint Friday alleged that Harvard University discriminates against Asian-American applicants by setting a higher bar for admissions than that faced by other groups.
The complaint, filed by a coalition of 64 organizations, says the university has set quotas to keep the numbers of Asian-American students significantly lower than the quality of their applications merits. It cites third-party academic research on the SAT exam showing that Asian-Americans have to score on average about 140 points higher than white students, 270 points higher than Hispanic students and 450 points higher than African-American students to equal their chances of gaining admission to Harvard. The exam is scored on a 2400-point scale. The complaint was filed with the U.S. Education Department’s Office for Civil Rights. “Many studies have indicated that Harvard University has been engaged in systemic and continuous discrimination against Asian-Americans during its very subjective ‘Holistic’ college admissions process,” the complaint alleges. Oh shit, bet you didn't think checking those little ethnicity boxes would come back to haunt you, did you? Not that you even had to check it with a name like Sue Kim or William Chung. I know this may come as a surprise, but Harvard isn't hurting for Asian applicants. I know, I know, took me a back as well. Welcome to what it's like to be a white kid trying to attend a state school or a black kid trying to attend Howard. Affirmative action isn't just our problem now you yellow bellied bastards. Might be time to just call it quits and start up your own dry cleaners. You may be in the top 10% percent of applicants, but you're in the bottom 10% of Asian applicants and for the diversity that a college campus tries to maintain, that's just not going to cut it. The admissions process for Asian students is like the interview process for jewish accountants. They are just playing against themselves. Of course a white kid doesn't need the same SAT scores to get into a Ivy League school. If that were the case Yale would look like the IT department at Google. The only melting pot we would be referring to would be chalked full of General Tsao's chicken or sweet and sour sauce. Ever think that maybe Harvard isn't trying to get accused of running an internment camp? Thinking that there is an even playing field is like expecting a kid that suffers from dyslexia to get graded on the same scale in English class. Every other race is like the kid that was born from a drug addict mother and alcoholic father. It's not our fault we were genetically predisposed to being 400 SAT points inferior to Asians. Don't be mad Asians, be better. Asians getting upset about affirmative action is like the African American community getting upset that the MLB has found a virtual gold mine in Latin America. You can't embrace something when it benefits you and cry foul when a similar process leaves you obsolete. Maybe lower your standards a bit. You can still succeed as the dumb Asian, relatively speaking. Just enroll and in some shitty middle American college and tear that place a new asshole. Soon enough you'll be like the Jeremy Lin of higher learning. Why try to fit in at Harvard when you can stand out academically literally anywhere else? Better to set the curve than worry about it. Being asian and graduating from Harvard in the bottom half your class doesn't stand out on a resume nearly as well as the oriental valedictorian at Wichita State. Don't be such a walking stereotype and you won't have to worry about prejudice in the admissions office. You were born and raised with the college cheat codes, why do you need our help to get to the next level? If there's two Asians, somebody has got to finish second... |
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